"Fail."

"Fail." 

This morning I was first placed on a machine I don't really like, ugh! It's a machine what makes mats automatically, uhm, well, not really automatically, you need to program the machine, push some buttons and a whole lot more. It's sure not heavy work, but my brain had to work overtime. I needed many things to remember, what to do when there's a disturbing, or what to do when the mat is done, etc, etc, etc, and etc. Before I was standing at the machine I told myself, "This is not gonna work, I can't do this." The fellow worker who helped me and explained me how this machine works told me, that 'that' is not a positive beginning, not the right attitude. "I know," I told him. Further I told him that I will try it and that I will see how it goes. 

"Relax and take it easy," the fellow worker told me, "It's quit easy when you know it, you'll have to get the know the machine, then it will go fluently." After a few disturbing (The machine got some starting problems) the machine did his job, then I stood alone behind the machine. After 20 minutes things were going wrong, many things. I didn't know what to do, yeah I stopped the machine, but how to fix this and continue? I didn't know, I tried, but without success. I knew myself, and I knew that this is going to be a awful day when they gonna let me stand behind this machine, lol. Disturbing after disturbing.

This is the kind of machine that you actually have to learn how to control it, or how to work with it. Some people are easy with this machine and get it right away after explaining, but there are aswell people who don't get it right away. There's to many handling's on this machine, to many things to remember, I could work with this machine, if someone stood beside me for a few days or perhaps a week. Just to see what I'm doing wrong or good, explain me things. But there isn't time for that, anyway. I went to the office and asked if I could do my own work again, that was alright. 

Though I had to debate this with a few other fellow workers, who was willing to take my work over... After a slightly heavy debate, (I guess the two workers who I had to debate with weren't in the mood for this 'machine,' lol) one worker went behind 'this' machine. I was relieved, but aswell I felt I failed, in my eyes I gave up to soon, lol. I stood before behind this machine and that was really not a success. Actually this morning went a tiny bit better. Though I gave up, it's not gonna work was my motto. Thursday I will stand again behind this machine says the schedule, I wanna try it again, trying not to give up, lol.

I did my own work today, the work what I always do, that went so much better. I'm actually getting better and better at 'that' work, I'm growing! Not looking forward to Thursday, but willing to try it, once again.