Stop! Vacation-time!

Stop! Vacation-time!

Although the work day was good, nice and tastefull, I'm aswell ready for vacation. Tastefull? Yeah, more about that later. I wasn't looking forward actually for the holiday, I thought I would miss work but I'm ready for the four weeks of rest aswell. I'm surely gonna enjoy it, oh yeah! Sleeping out, and going out, just gonna enjoy myself. I hope the weather will be good though these four weeks, just like today would be nice. We had sunny weather and it was hot, 24 degrees, tomorrow 26 degrees. It's raining now though and a little bit of thunder.
 

Amsterdam here I come!

They offered me to work though in another village, it's a factory just like Reha but it's called React, React is placed in Nijverdal. (My old hometown) You can fill in your days when ever you want, if you want to work on a Monday or a Tuesday or whenever. You can give them a call in the eve' and they will pick you up the next early morning. I refussed, I didn't feel like working these four weeks. I thought about it though but naah, I have been working hard the last five months, I'm good, I deserve a good rest.  


Today I called again with the 'replaced' Doctor for my blood results, but I was to late, grrmppff! I thought about it when I wasn't feeling so well, it was after 12:00, then I thought, "Damn, I still need to call!" I got an answering machine when I called, I could only call between 8:00 am and 12:00 it said. I tried it again though after 1:00 but, nothing, same answering machine. For sure I have to call tomorrow again, and ofcource between 8 and 12 in the morning. I had a few hours while working that I wasn't feeling so well, pressure on my chest and little heartbeats. Hopefully the doctor will help me out tomorrow. 

Working, cleaning and dusting at work today. Yeah, we were busy but the hard work was rewarded with a nice meal, The staff of Reha ordered food, and the huge van with food dropped by at 2:00pm. We all sat outside in the sun and enjoyed the delicious food, steaks, salade, fruit, you name it it was all there. I like the meat, it was tastefull but ated a bit to much. Cramps followed and my belly hurted for a long while, I was stuffed. Ansd still am while I'm writing this. Hopefully the tea next to me does miracles, LOL! 


 So, here I am in my room, showered, tea next to the laptop and writing in my blog, I feel good. I'm ready for my vacation, bring it on!

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

"Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning." 

It's warm outside again, 21 degrees pronounced the weather forecast. Funny though that it was only 11 degrees two days ago, typical Dutch weather. I hope we will get a nice after summer, I have some plans in my head. I had a appointment this morning with Paula, while we talked some ideas came to my mind what to do these four weeks of vacation. Paula told me I had enough money to go a weekend out, spend a weekend in Amsterdam or The Hague, "Go out," she told me. I'm not sure though, it's alot of money and that money I can spend aswell for my furniture. But then again... Ah! I will think about it. For sure I will go a day out to Amsterdam like I said yesterday, that stays. Further I was planning to go to a different sauna, I'm thinking of something huge, a huge sauna. Or the beach! Yes! 

 If the weather is good though, you never know it here. Next thing I want to pick up is cooking rice again, usually I eat potatoes,veggies and meat. But that gets boring after a week, there are many different meals to cook with rice. With rice you can almost do anything, I saw and tasted that aswell in Canada with Saf's cooking. Once I had a rice meal with liver, little pieces of chopped liver added to the rice, so nice. I want to learn myself to make more meals with rice, and not only rice. I would like to cook more differently, not only potatoes,veggies and meat. The four weeks of vacation is a nice opportunity to learn that. Paula offered me to cook with her up comming Tuesday eve,' she asked me what we will cook, I answered, "Something with rice!" All counselors here at Humanitas are offering sometimes to cook with one of the residents, Paula never offered me, so next Tuesday we will cook.

This morning I called for my blood results, I knew 'my' Doctor was on vacation cause he gave me another phone number of another Doctor that will replace him while he's gone. So I called the 'replaced' Doctor and guess what? He was on vacation too! The 'replaced' Doctor gave me a third phone number of a Doctor who will replace 'him.' I called that number and asked for my blood results, the Doctor's assistant asked me my birth of date and saw that my THS was to high, (Just like the last time) and that I needed more medication, but she saw aswell that I didn't use any kind of medication for my sick thyroid. Strange though, cause I use medication since I have a sick thyroid. (From 2003 till now.) The assistant found it confussing and she was not the only one, I was confussed too. I told her that I had moved, and that I just had a new Doctor, and that Doctor knew what I'm using for my thyroid, I told him that in our first meeting.

"I have to talk to the Doctor first about new medication, can you call back tomorrow?" Asked the assistant. "Yeah, sure," I answered back. I will have to call at work but that's okay. I need to call cause I feel that there's something wrong, I feel more tired as usual, and my medication is almost done. They will perhaps give me more pills, I use now only one pill in the morning (Thyrax, 0,1) I will be getting two pills then I guess. Then in about six weeks I will have to take blood again and then see what has changed. I'm carefull with my health, if I feel there's something wrong with my thyroid I go to the Doctor. Usually I can work two day in a row and just feel a bit tired, then the third day I will feel more and more tired, and then I need my rest. It feels different now, after two days of work I feel there's a heavy rock on my chest, feeling exhausted.

This morning I had two naps cause my body was asking for it, I'm happy I have a Doctor now so I can take my blood whenever I want and get my medication. Fingers crossed for tomorrow's phonecall. Tonight no 'free'dinner, I had to buy some more groceries as I normaly do. Two residents offered me to eat with them if I would buy the cabbage and the potatoes,  (Again potatoes, LOL) " That's alright," I thought.  I wont do it every day though, I don't know what is actually cheaper, cooking for yourself (something small) or cooking with each other.Talking about food, tomorrow will be the last day of work. (vacation) We will be working till 2:00pm, and then we will have a meal to close the last day. I will tell how it was tomorrow, for sure it's gonna be fun and yummy!

"A better day."

"A better day."

This day was better then yesterday, that's such a random sentence to start a post with. But I can't pronounce it differently, this day felt better. Yesterday I wasn't happy and felt sad, I was asking myself aswell what happiness was. I said then that happiness can be anything, happiness is in little things, in daily things. I will make within ten minutes a nice cappuchino coffee, that little cup of joy will make me happy also. And that's just one of the little things that can make me happy. You don't wait for happiness either, cause it comes to you, it happens or it overcomes you. Alright, enough, back to this day. 

There's not much to say actually, I had a good day at work and that's it, Thursday will be the last day for the vacation-stop. We will be cleaning and dusting and afterwards were going to have some ordered food, it's gonna be nice. Vacation-stop hmm, my Boss asked me already what I'm gonna do the four weeks without work, I don't know. What do people when they have a vacation? Rest? I will rest yes, maybe the first week of the vacation. And then maybe some day trips if the money is good on me, I'm saving money for a visit to Amsterdam. That's settled.


Humanitas won't do anything with the vacation time, nothing special. They should do a barbecue or a nice day out, just something. But they won't, pity though. Most of the residents have no money to go out or go on a vacation, Humanitas won't gave extra money for the vacation time. I'm not complaining though, it is as it is. There is a vacation stop aswell for the free 'dinner,' I always went at Wednesday eve' and Thursday eve.' I never skipped a meal, but now there closing for six weeks, woot! Yeah, six weeks is alot, I can feel that in my wallet aswell. Tomorrow I will have to buy some more grocery as I use to buy, I can afford it though. 


But still, perhaps I can find a place where I can find another place to eat a free meal in this city. Anyway, that's all folks for now. Think I go to bed a bit early, it was a long day.

"Good days, bad days."

Good days, bad days."

Funny and akward that sometimes my thoughts drift away and turn into sad thoughts, not so weird though after what I have been trough. My thoughts were drifting away last night and afterwards I felt sad and had that 'missing' feeling again, sometimes these thoughts turn into angry thoughts. I should write them down one day, to see what I can do with them. So yeah, last night it started a bit, 'the thoughts.' I was on Facebook looking trough my old profile, and saw some pictures of Saf, and some of her kids, Saf looks great! When I'm on my old profile I only check some of the statuses of me, Mar and Noor. I can look at these statuses or comments from them and feel no sadness or get missing thoughts, only in the beginning I had them, but now I'm good. But seeing Saf last night hurted and made me think, I thought, "Ah! Just one of the days, tomorrow will go better." But it didn't.

Is the love over between me and Saf? Yeah, and a tiny little bit no, I still care, good memories aswell. The most painfull thought when I think back of the time in Canada is that I failed, failed in our relationship, and failed to be a 'man' and perhaps a Daddy and that hurts. I know SO much better now, but it's to late now. I had the chance to be a good Dad and  a good Husband, with a lovely 'good' looking woman with great kids in a awesome country. All I wanted was to make Saf and her kids happy again, but it was just to much my heart could carry. I love(d) these people so much, everything was new and overwhelming, and more and more added to it. I had to learn alot of things, and I learned alot of things. This morning and last night I felt I'm not in the right place, like I don't belong here. I even thought to imigrate to Canada when I feel better. Not to 'Barrie' though, I don't want Saf to get the wrong idea.

I want her to live her life and be happy with her kids. I might imigrate to Canada or even another country, I feel and think that I'm done in Holland. Or is it just a 'silly' thought or a 'silly' idea? I don't know, I'm just thinking and writing out loud. I had a great time in Canada, being a daddy and a husband was an awesome adventure. and I want a time like that back, why? I guess I don't want to be alone anymore, I want people around me, or better a family around me. I noticed that I don't want to be alone anymore. While I'm writing this I feel better though, better then this morning. I had a nice day at work, and I had a lovely 'free' dinner this evening. Why was the work nice? Cause I had things to do and everything went well while working, I talked with people and that makes my 'sad' thoughts go away. I had a nice dinner aswell, we talked and laughed, and such things make my 'sad' thoughts go away also. 

But are these thoughts really gone? Aren't they comming back? Yeah, they will. Sometimes even harder then the last time I had them, but aswell they will vanish one day or they getting less harder. I guess this day didn't start that happy, but what is happy. What is happiness? Am I happy at the moment? Sometimes I am yes, sometimes I have a happy moment and then I think, "Yes!" But again,what is happiness? What makes you or me Happy? I would say, 'a family around me,' that would make me happy. But would it really make me happy? I don't know, now I think that it would but... Confussing right? Sometimes I get stuck with this question, what is happiness? What makes you or me happy? I'm not happy right now, but I'm not sad or depressed either, I'm okay, I'm good. 

I have goals, I started them five months ago. It's good to have goals, for sure after all this drama. It almost feels like you don't want to quit things, you don't want to give up, cause I have goals. My goal is to have a nice house, a job, and perhaps a family. I would like to travel too and not do the same ol' same ol' again. I'm not gonna sit on my bum being sad or depressed.  These are my goals, these goals will make me happy. But will they? 


I saw this piece of writting on the internet...

"Finding happiness is like finding yourself. You don't find happiness, you make happiness. You choose happiness. Self-actualization is a process of discovering who you are, who you want to be and paving the way to happiness by doing what brings YOU the most meaning and contentment to your life over the long run."

"Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself."

Happiness is in all kinda things, in little things. Like I said, I have goals and when I reach these goals I will be happy. But will I? Will I be happy when I'm in Las Vegas with a glass of champagne in my hand?  For the same reason I might have the same 'missing them' thoughts and feel still un-happy. Who knows.

Another piece of writing I saw...  

 Happiness is what you feel when you're NOT feeling.... Self doubt, depressed, hateful, fearful, worried, unsatisfied, bored, grief, shame, guilt, discontent, anxious, annoyed, angry, irritated, stressed, frustrated, upset, down, sad, envious, or jealous.

I guess happiness is in little things around you, you have the prove above. I hope this post isn't to confussing, it's like I'm writing my head empty. I would like to be happy again, but waiting for it is wrong I think. I should be happy now, make myself happy, enjoy of the little things around me. Just like today I finnished a wooden bench and a wooden table for outside, that felt nice and made me happy, just like the dinner I had tasted nice and we had laughs, that felt good and made me happy aswell. Happiness does make the 'missing them' thoughts go away or makes them less. Searching for happiness doesn't work for me, it's to stressy, I wont find it.Happiness overcomes me, and when it does I will enjoy it the fullest. This day started bad and when the days went further and further the badness seemed to be vanished. I'm okay now and feel better. I'm ready for tomorrow.

"Times will change."

"Times will change."

The times will change when I live on my own, I had a meeting with Paula this morning, and she told me that I should ask for information for a loan at the citybank. I will be living on my own, then I should be able to pay my rent, usurances and bills. And then there's the furniture I need and the rest that a house needs, washingmachine, oven, etc, etc. For that kinda stuff I can go to the Citybank here in Almelo and ask them for a loan, ofcource I have to pay the loan back, but that's alright. 

If the loan is not possible then I can ask for information by the social services, I really could need the loan. The furniture doesn't have to be brand new, there are loads of nice stuff here second hand. Although a few things I don't like to buy second hand, like a fridge, washingmachine or a oven, I rather have that new. Cause I always ask myself why are they selling it, perhaps one button doesn't work or something, then I have to repair it and it will cost me double. No, please a new fridge, washingmachine or oven, thank you! 

Rain~

Does someone needs some rain? We have lots of it today! It's nice though, the shops or other atractions are closed anyway. It's nice staying home and be on the laptop with a nice coffee beside me , while the laundry is spinning.It's an easy day today, the people here are bored and tired after yesterday's madness. It sure was fun though, it's a nice ending of the weekend. Tomorrow starts the last week of the three days at work, Thursday will be the last day and then it's vacation time. Four weeks of rest and perhaps boredom, but I'm sure I will find something to do. I already planned a day out to the big city 'Amsterdam.'


Celebrity past away~


Amy Whinehouse past away, most people aren't suprised about it. The news was suprising though, I never knew she was still so young. She died of a overdose of ecstasy, everyone knew she smoked and drank alot. I wasn't a big fan of her but I liked her powefull soul voice and some of her songs. She was a great talent R.I.P  Amy! 

I just listened to "Rehab" again and the irony is devastating, she sould have gone to rehab!

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said, "No, no, no"
Yes, I've been black but when I come back you'll know, know, know
I ain't got the time and if my daddy thinks I'm fine
He's tried to make me go to rehab, I won't go, go, go

I'd rather be at home with Ray
I ain't got seventeen days
'Cause there's nothing, there's nothing you can teach me
That I can't learn from Mr. Hathaway

I didn't get a lot in class
But I know we don't come in a shot glass

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said, "No, no, no"
Yes, I've been black but when I come back you'll know know know
I ain't got the time and if my daddy thinks I'm fine
He's tried to make me go to rehab, I won't go, go, go

The man said, "Why do you think you here?"
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/a/amy-winehouse-lyrics/rehab-lyrics.html ]
I said, "I got no idea"
I'm gonna, I'm gonna lose my baby
So I always keep a bottle near

He said, "I just think you're depressed
Kiss me, yeah baby and go rest"

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said, "No, no, no"
Yes, I've been black but when I come back you'll know, know, know

I don't ever wanna drink again
I just, ooh, I just need a friend
I'm not gonna spend ten weeks
Have everyone think I'm on the mend

And it's not just my pride
It's just 'til these tears have dried

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said, "No, no, no"
Yes, I've been black but when I come back you'll know, know, know
I ain't got the time and if my daddy thinks I'm fine
He's tried to make me go to rehab, I won't go, go, go....

I'm so glad that I'm a woman." (For one day)

I'm so glad that I'm a woman." (For one day) 

Last night I went out to a little town called Wierden with a couple of residents, we had a nice time. It felt akward though to dress up neat and being out again. (I'm a weak goof, LOL) I remember going out with Saf and dress up neat aswell, this eve' I putted the same shirt on what I had on the last night I went out with Saf to karaoke. I stood still for a few seconds and sighed, it felt weird and I missed for a few seconds the going out with Saf. Even when I went out with the bunch of people that eve' I had a few akward moments where I thought, "I wish I was somewhere else." There was a band playing beside the market and I thought about 'New years eve' in Barrie Canada. 

Moi!

Then there was a band playing aswell when I was with two friends from Mar, same as there was a band playing were I went tonight. It felt almost the same being there tonight. It made me sigh again for a few moments, good memories though, but missing it aswell. I so wanted to hug a few persons when I was thinking of those memories, specially Mar's friends and Saf and the kids. I saw parents with kids on there necks clapping and singing with the band, I thought, I want kids too, sigh! Hey, dear God above there, I deserve some kids and a nice wife aswell, you hear me? LOL! But hey! Don't forget I had a nice time out that eve' aswell, it was not only sighs and akward moments, I singed, clapped and had laughs, oh yeah!

This Saturday was nice aswell at Humanitas, dressing up, going out and last but not least a nice dinner. The Saturday started of with tiredness though, I felt tired and it felt akward, like something was squeezing my chest, I felt exhausted and felt I could sleep the whole day. I had two naps this morning, I think my thyroid is spilling up. I will wait for the blood results this comming Wednesday, I wont be suprised if I need stronger medication. After my naps I felt a bit better, I felt I could manage this day. At 10:00 there was the appointment with Sandra, together we searched online for houses in 'Enschede.' Enschede is a very nice city where I would like to live. 

This photo looks so Dutch!

Sandra knows Enschede cause she lives there, so it was easy for me to search for houses with her by my side. We reacted on many houses and flats, Sandra told me about the area when I saw a nice house or flat. It was nice sitting with her when she gave me alot of information, I visited Enschede alot in the past, but I only shopped there and went to the market. That's the only area's I knew from that city. Sandra and I spent only one hour with each other, tomorrow at 10:00 I will have a appointment with Paula, then we will talk about my list what I made, a list of what I all still need when I'm going to live on my own. It's needed cause I have nothing, only clothing.

After I did my grocery shopping for the whole entire week with another guy it was time to 'dress up.' Dress up as a woman, me and another guy were planning to go out as ladies. (Me and my ideas, LOL) First the other guy decided not to dress up when we were about to start, but after talking with him for a few minutes he went for it. A few residents helped me with clothing and a wig, they gave me the clothing what I needed and I started with the dressing up. Everything went well untill I saw the bra, I thought. "Oh, that's easy, just put my arms trough it and done!" But no, I had the bra upside down, I thought already, "Why is this bra so high in my neck?" The dressing up went fine after that incident, legging, bra, wig, booths, etc,etc. (See pictures) 

Harry 'HAD' a long beard!

We were all ready and decided to go trough the building, we even went downstairs to the staff, it was hilarious, we had a good time. We went outside aswell, across the building we took alot of pictures. It was pretty cold though, if the sun wasn't there it would be even colder. And with only leggings and a short shirt it felt much colder, but we had lots of laughs. It was time to go inside and get rid of the women clothing, we had enough. Only one resident wanted to goa bit further, it was Harry, Harry is a 55 year old guy and he will be leaving Humanitas within two weeks. He has been at Humanitas for 15 months, "A record," he says. He putted my 'women' clothing on and I and a few other residents went into town, it was hilarious. Some reactions on the street were nice and funny, but most people didn't even look. We didn't mind cause we had a good time, and that counted. 

Harry in style!

We all visited the market, and sat eventually on a terrace having a few drinks. Ofcource some of the people were staring but who cares, we had fun! After the terrace visit we went into a clothing store to look for some nice women clothing for Harry, ofcource it was a joke, it was the taking pictures that counted. The sun went away and we all decided to return inside, it was getting colder and colder. We prepaired a nice dinner together and we all sat down and eat. For a nice budget we had a nice meal, we had 'endive' with potatos, little pieces of bacon and a cream. Beside it we had steaks. It was a nice day, we wont do such a thing everyday, but once in the weekends would be nice. We already decided to cook together one meal every saturday afternoon.

We don't have  much money to spend, so if we all put some money together once a week we all can eat together and have a jolly good time for a small amount of money. It's not about the money alone but it's aswell to have a good time together in the weekends. We have a small group of eight people together now, ofcource there are more residents living here, but we don't see them that often. First I had my doubts with eating together, cause for example one would go to buy the meat and another one buys the veggies, ect,ect. Veggies for example is cheaper then meat, so the veggies person has to pay less then. Buying meat for 8 people? No thank you, I just can't afford that. It all went  kriss kross with the buying, I struggled with that.

The solution was to let two people buy the food (low budget) and take the reciept with them. With the reciept we can split the money over eight people. Perfect solution for upcomming Saturday, and Sunday we will do the left overs. Guess what? I had a nice full day!  I never knew that I'm so frigging tall. For tomorrow, relaxation!

Dress up!

Dress up! 

Me and my big mouth! I told to some of the residents that it would be a laugh to dress up one day as a woman, cause when you put a wig on me I transform right away and burst into laughs non-stop. And tomorrow it will be the day to 'dress up,' together with one more resident. It would have been nice if there were more who want to dress up aswell, but no!  I'm looking forward for tomorrow but, hmm, there talking about strings, shaved legs, panties, LOL! As far as I know I will wear a mini-skirt, a wig, bra, panties, (eek!) Oh dear! All of this will happen tomorrow in the afternoon.

Finally it's Friday (for real), still tired though but a nap did me good. There will be more naps needed these comming days, my body is asking for it. I did two loads of laundry today, the second load is still drying. They smoke alot around here, I dislike it but there's nothing you can do about it. I'm getting along very well with a bunch of residents, we visit each other often and sometimes we eat together, we share conversations and make jokes. Most of these people smoke, and sometimes I'm in the middle of the smoke. When it's getting to much I'm leaving and that's alright, I don't feel bad about it. I dislike the smoking cause of some reasons, I don't smoke, it smells and gets in your clothes and skin.  Bless the shower and washing machine. 


For the first time living here I'm going out tonight with a few residents, were going to a town called "Wierden.' My Mother has been born there and we lived there for a few years as a family. Wierden is small, but nice. There's a market and a few atractions, bands will be playing live there aswell. It's nice to go out again with a group, let's see how it goes. Ina is comming aswell, so yeah. Weird situation going on lately here, Daniel seems to be quit well again after being love sick, he's still in the hospital though but he's a free man aswell. Meaning he can stay and go where he wants, but under a so called guidance. Daniel sleeps in the hospital but can go outside and visit people, he has medication. In his free time he visited Ina aswell....


... It surely suprises me, cause wasn't Daniel done with Ina? Didn't he call her a liar and cheater? Perhaps he has forgiven her and there trying again, I remember Daniel telling me that he was still madly in love aswell with Ina before he was taken to the hospital. I hope things turns out well with Daniel, cause in my eyes he's still fragile and doesn't know what he's doing.

 Alright, the ladies are ready! (Finally!) Time to go! I will tell how it went in the next post, to the batmobile let's go!

"Thank God it's (almost) Thursday!"

"Thank God it's (almost) Thursday!"

You prolly know the term "Thank God it's Friday!" After three days of work I usually think that on the last day from work (Thursday) it's almost the weekend, but it's just Friday. On Thursday at work we always clean up the last thirthy minutes, then already I get that 'Weekend' feeling. And I will think it's Saturday when it's actually Friday.Yeah, gotta love a long weekend, I'm getting trough the three days easily. Tomorrow I will start of with a bunch of laundry from the last week.

Totally forgot to say that I bought a new laptop (Yay!) I bought it last Wednesday, it's an acer laptop with a 17 inch screen. The old one is a HP Pavillion laptop, I still use it though till it's totally brakes. I'm very happy with me new laptop, I saved money for it for a long time. Now it's time to save money for other stuff. Today after a nice day at work there was the weekly free dinner again at the church, for the last time though, cause they will be holding a vacation for six weeks. That's quit long, now I have to make myself dinner again a few more times then usual. The free dinner was always on Wednesday and Thursday. The last dinner for the summer holidays was something special, we had a Indonesian meal, with rice,veggies and meat. It was yummy, desert was icecream.

When I got back from work I took a long shower and relaxed, I was tired and needed the relaxation. I finnished today the two baby seater at work for my neighbor, he can pick it up up comming monday, he payed me five Euro, nice of him. Next week will be the last week from work, there closing there doors for three weeks, next Thursday there will be a special dinner at work cause it's the last day before the summer holiday. I'm looking forward to it. And then it's three weeks without work, wow, that will feel akward. I have been working already for a while. Well, I'm not gonna sit down and do nothing. I planned already a day out to Amsterdam, I haven't been there for such a long time.

I'm slowly adjusting to Holland again, although I haven't travelled trough Holland yet. But I still admire Canada, the people are nicer day and much more laid back. I still remember the first time I came into a warehouse and the cassiere asked me while she scanned my grocery how I was. That felt akward cause they don't do such thing in Holland. Ofcource Canada is much bigger then Holland,and you can't only see that on the streets and forests, you can't see it aswell in shops and supermarkets, everything is bigger. Do I feel akward while I walk the streets here? Yes and no, sometimes I still think, "what am I doing here? Wasn't I in Canada?" But these thoughts are becoming less though, I guess will return though to Canada for a short holiday, perhaps a week or two.

Sometimes someone says something really small, and it just fits right into this empty place in your heart.

"Sometimes someone says something really small, and it just fits right into this empty place in your heart."

Is caring to much about another really to much? Without bragging about myself I would like to say that I care a bit to much, I just can't see a friend or collega or whatever suffer. Or better, I can't see people cry, I will get weak and I want to take care of them. This can stress myself out if it's getting to much, the involving is getting to much for me then. Why am I writting about this? The last two weeks alot happend here at Humanitas, divorce problems, a friendship/relationship died, residents were leaving cause they had to or they wanted to. It was all here, at the moment I can all handle this very well, but yeah, it does something to me aswell. It touches me, but I'm not complaining. I'm good and if I can help or take care I will, but there is a line ofcource. If it's really getting to much then I take a few steps back. At the moment I feel bad for Ina and her divorce problems, now it's not that I feel sorry or pity for everyone who has divorce problems, but the people who are close to me, yeah. 

It's not only the divorce problems Ina deals with but other things aswell, Daniel has been suffering for a week cause of a realtion problem with Ina, and now he has left for a 'time out.' Ina feels or thinks that it's her fault and feels guilty, plus the divorce problems  she and her ex have and the ex being a pain does her not well. Ina and her ex have two kids and there standing in the middle off the two divorced parents. Problems like this is quit normal these days, Ina is sure not the only one, I'm aware of that. But seeing her so many times cry breaks me so now and then, I don't want to get involved and I surely wont get involved. Again I know where my line is, cause I have to think of myself aswell. Offcource. But, I would like to cheer her up, and I will. If she needs a hug or a crying shoulder I will be there, sometimes I give her advice or listen so now and then to her stories if it makes her feel better. I like to make her laugh or cheer her up, cause I can't see her cry, she doesn't deserve this. I dislike crying! 

Bloodwork~


This morning after my appointment I went over to the hospital to do some bloodwork, and this time it went much easier then last time. I knew the way, and the waiting room wasn't packed for a change. There were only three people, only this time the needle hurted a bit more then the last time. I guess every nurse has a different way to take blood, now it's five days to wait for the results, I'm curious. The appointment with Paula went well, she was a bit in a hurry but that was okay cause I was too, I wanted to get the blood done. There wasn't much to talk about cause everything is going well, "Go out a bit more, you deserve it and you have the money for it," said Paula. I'm on my hood a bit for my money, funny though, now that I have more money I'm being more easier with it. Prolly a good thing, right? 

These comming days I have two appointments comming up, one with Paula, I had to make a list what I all need when I'm going to live on my own. Furniture, fridge, couch, bed, etc, etc, Paula and I will have a look at the list I made. The next appointment is with Sandra, we will be looking at houses online and react on them. Were going to look at houses in Enschede, Sandra lives in Enschede, so that's handy. Paula told me that Sandra lives in Enschede, so Paula told me to make an appointment one day with Sandra to have a look at houses, and so I did. It's going smoothly around here, there's a nice atmosphere. Although all that I need to get used or better prepair myself to be living on my own. Like taking care of my bussines/paperwork, making phonecalls, see what there is needed to be on my own again or what I need to get used to. I'm not worried.

"Hello Sjon-shine."

"Hello Sjon-shine."

I elt a bit better then yesterday, yesterday I felt tired and heavy on my chest. I was thinking of my thyroid, of the blood results. Tomorrow I will check my blood again, but first an early appointment with Paula. Afterwards I will rush calm towards the hospital, I know the way now. I wonder what the results will be now, last time the hospital made a (typing) mistake according to the Doctor's assistant. According to the results I should be dead sick, but I feel okay and not sick. But yesterday I felt a bit 'hmm,' I had doubts cause I felt tired and not as tired as usual. Wi'll see what happens after the blood results.

The resident who was missing yesterday, (Daniel) has left now. But I think just for a while, cause all his stuff is still in his room. Maybe Daniel will pick his stuff up later this week or he just comes back and stays then. Maybe he just needs to get out here for a week to get some rest and see other people. I hope the last one, I didn't say goodbye yet to him cause I worked the whole day.

The furniture I make at work is wanted at humanitas, some of the residents want to order some of the things I make but for 'free.' I'm working on a two sitter for my neighbor and it's almost done, my Boss is okay with this aslong I use the old wood, (wood what actually can go) it looks pretty good though. The next few things I make are two wooden food bins for dogs, and two butler trays. If I have spare time at work, I make such things. Can you tell I like it?


I'm not having luck yet in finding a house, you need some luck aswell. But I keep on searching, I'm not giving up. I'm not the only one here in this building searching for houses. It sure ain't easy. I'm feeling okay at this moment, I'm getting along well with most of the residents. Work iss going great, I learn(ed) so many things. Only a bit more money would be welcome, when I wil be living on my own I can almost come around with the money. I have to ask for some extra money then. Humanitas is looking out for my money, but I have to do that alone when I have found a house. That's one of the things I have to get used to again. I'm not worried.

"Daniel where are/were you?"

"Daniel where are/were you?" 

A little bit of a panice situation today at Humanitas, a resident who I get along with quit well was missing. It's not really my thing to gossip, but there are a few things that is needed to be known. The resident who was missing was Daniel, Daniel is a guy who I get along with well, we even went out a few times. Playing biljart or just went for a walk, he was also the guy who was trying easy to hook me up with Ina. But the tide turned, Daniel got allong well with Ina, and Ina with Daniel. They were getting buddies, soulmates, and eventually fell in love. Although Daniel is ten years younger and Ina wasn't ready for a relationship, it didn't matter. Falling in love happens, I been there too. By the time I got over my thoughts or (perhaps) feelings towards Ina it seemed it was Daniel's turn.

They both went out a few times, and had  a jolly good time, they were both happy. They even ended up both in, *insert x-rated, yeah, there. Daniel told me this and I was suprised. All well, a week later they went out again to a pub, Ina ended up on the dancefloor, cause she saw an old schoolmate and they danced for almost an hour. Daniel told Ina that he is going back, cause he was tired, and felt bored. (Right) The next morning Daniel found out that Ina spent the night with the old schoolfriend from last night, Ina told Daniel this cause she felt bad. "I spent the night with him, cause I wasn't able to go home I was to drunk. But nothing happend though." Told Ina. Hmm. The next day Ina confessed that she had *insert x-rated with the old school friend and Daniel collapsed. 


The lies and the cheating were to much for Daniel, and Ina felt sorry big time. Daniel locked him self up in his room for three days, after the three days he visited or tried to visit his friends, but was afraid to face Ina. He tried it but he was rather in his room. Alot of gossip was going around and Ina was the bad girl according to Humanitas, so I heard. Daniel visited me aswell a few times and the first time he told me the whole story, "I need to get out of here, I can't face her anymore," said Daniel. I told him that he should go out for a week and see his Family, it will do him good. "I'm leaving up-comming Monday," he replied. The second time he came he asked me to make him a sandwich, it was a pleasure to make him one. "I will see you Monday evening when I pack my bags and leave," he said. It will do him good. 


And the next day while I was working I heard from a worker who also is a resident from Humanitas that he disapeared, the police was searching trough his room and aswell was searching for him. I was a bit worried but, I knew aswell that I could count on him that I would see Daniel tonight. Comming home from work, I saw Ina crying (No wonder) and a few were residents worried. It worried me too a bit but still I knew I could count on him. Later on the evening another resident had got a message that Daniel was safe and sound, he was at the
'night care' from Humanitas, the night care is a place right beside Humanitas where you can not stay trough the day, but only can spend the night. Daniel took of almost a whole day without giving a note to the staff, and that's not allowed. The staff needs tom know where you are for safety.


Daniel will go to a hospital perhaps, (if there is a place for him) for a hospitalization. He's not able to think straight anymore, it may sounds hard but I'm sure it will do him good. If he had stayed here at Humanitas he would go nuts, he's in good hands at the hospital, seeing other people and people who take good care of him. If he's able to have visits I will surely visit him. Take good care of yourself Buddy, I count on you!

Sunday...

Sunday...

Another day, another post. But there's not much to write about this day, I'm resting alot and visit my friendly neighbors so now and then. It seems everyone is tired, me included. I had two naps today, and that will do it, otherwise I won't sleep tonight. Me and my neighbors sit quit often with each other, we have a coffee together and sometimes we eat together. A few days ago I came up with the idea of playing a game called "Things," back in Canada we played this game quit often. It's hilarious and fun to play, the only thing is I had to translate the English questions into Dutch.

So, what's "Things" you ask? 


The Game of "Things" is the hilarious new party game that presents players with provocative topics like "Things people do when no one is looking", "Things you wouldn’t do for a million dollars" or "Things your parents forgot to tell you." Things allows each player to say whatever comes to mind. Pick a topic, get everyone to write a response, read them out loud and then guess who said what. There are no right answers. There are no wrong answers, just a lot of fun. You won’t believe the Things you’ll hear.

 I searched for the "Things" questions online, there weren't that many. But I found enough I guess, I translated them all and wrote them down on a little memo card. I and a few neighbors played the game already a few times, and I must say they have to get used to it. It's a bit different when Dutch players play thisn game, I don't know. Perhaps we don't have the same humor Canadians or Americans have, who knows. For example, I asked the question, "What kinda thing you never should swallow," ofcource the sexual replies came like crazy. That was funny but aswell a bit lame, now when 'we' played the game, (Saf and our friends) we would give the same sexual replies but 'we' would give a certain twist on it to make it even more hilariouser. 

I think I will think of more questions and translate them though, cause we were done with the game in less then 20 minutes.Lots of work but that's okay, it sure should be funnier if we play this game more often. For tonight I think it will be an early night, early to bed and early to rise. Working tomorow, yeah, you know already that I look forward to working days. Three days weekend is long enough, have a good night ya"ll!

"A weekend wasted isn't a wasted weekend."

A weekend wasted isn't a wasted weekend."

My mobile phone (cell phone) wasn't working well according to the ING help desk, and they were right. Me and Paula called them this morning, if I want to do banking online I need a (working) cell phone.  If I need to make money over I can do that trough my phone, or something like that. I have something against cell phones, I don't know. There difficult and I don't like calling with them, maybe it's the size. (I can hardly hear conversations trough it) Maybe I should just spent a day with my new cellphone and try to work or call with it. Ugh, to the new technology sometimes, lol! I rather have a normal phone with a wire, and still then I feel a barrier to talk trough the phone. I don't know what it is, it's the un-comfy feeling what I get talking trough phones.

I should talk more often trough phones I guess, to get used to it. A few weeks ago I bought a new cell phone, but most of the days it's turned off, the phone needs to be activated to work properly. Sometimes when Paula and I have to call someone in our appointments then ususally Paula calls, but sometimes she suprises me when she dial's the number and suddenly puts the cellphone or phone in my hand, eek! Actually she should do that more often. This morning in 'our' appointment we made a next plan for this month, every month Paula and I make a month-plan. The month-plan has goals that I need/want/have to achieve for the up comming month, it's a good thing and it reminds me aswell what I still need to do. The month-plan for this month has the next goals....

-The bloodwork has to be done over, cause there might have been a mistake the first time I took blood last week. -Repairing my cellphone, it needs to work properly for online banking. -Searching for houses. (rent) -Making a appointment with St. Joseph (Housing-corporation) for urgenty. -Making a Words file with what I need to live on my own, furniture, dish, ectcetera, ectcetera. And that's about it for this month, I always manage to achieve the goals. Sometimes it amazes me. This Saturday was quiet, the atmosphere from yesterday seems to be calmed down. Daniel is leaving though this comming Monday, he really had enough off all this. He toldme he will be moving in with his Nephew. I'm gonna miss him, he has been trough alot the last few weeks.

Paula and I had a little conversation about the difficult atmosphere from last week this morning, "There's always a reason why people have to leave, and there's always a reason why were not that nice towards the residents," said Paula. "And there will always be complains, no matter how hard we work to get things better," she continued. I agreed with her, I also sometimes complain but I know aswell that the 'staff'here works hard to get things better and right. Complaining wont work, I'm already glad that I have a roof over my head, that I can cook for myself, that I can copy with my money, and that I have nice work. And in the back of my head I will always think that it can only get better from now here on.

Split Enz - Message To My Girl (1984)

"Gossip and bloodwork."

"Gossip and bloodwork." 

The atmosphere isn't that good under the residents lately, they don't like how the staff handles them. There is so much personal things going on at the moment under the residents, it's time to be on my hood for a whileof better to back of a bit. It's a well known fact that the residents here complain alot, the last few weeks it's going nuts. So nuts that I just don't believe what I hear. What is true? And should I believe what they all say? Now I can tell you all what is going on but the list is endless, relationships, arguess, missunderstandings, gossip, etc, etc. Someone said this and that about 'that' person and 'that' person told the staff about it, etc, etc. There sometimes just like little kids. once a week every resident has a meeting with there own (Humanitas) counselor, and ofcource there will be talked, also about other residents, I call it gossip. 

But the counselor writes things down aswell, for example when I talk bad about another resident it will be written down. In the worst scenario ' that' other resident will hear it from 'my' counselor or from 'his' or ' her' counselor. And in the worst case if the situation gets to bad you can pack your bags and leave, no mercy! The last two weeks the gossip and all other personal problems are so bad that five people have to leave. Including Ina, Ina might be send to a 'women's house,' has been told, cause according to Humanitas she wraps every guy here around her finger, (Not true!) Yes, we  kissed and touched on that evening, but I can't  call it wrapping around the finger. She had something with Daniel the last month, they liked each other as best friends, but Daniel wanted more, but Ina said " No." Daniel couldn't take it and feels down, very down! He locked himself up in his room. 

Humanitas saw that and Ina might be send away because of that. Nuts! And confussing aswell. I understand the bad reactions from the residents, but I understand Humanitas aswell. Humanitas heard the gossip from other residents about Ina and she's now the bad girl, I so don't like the gossip. In my eyes the staff here has to talk more to the person who caused the problem, or talk to both sides who caused the problem. And not just write down what 'other' residents say or what ' they' heard and then make a rapport out of it. What did I learn out of this? That you don't talk about other residents personal things, and that you just act normal and be jolly. Cause someone might say something about you and you might get throwen out cause of the gossip by another resident. I learned my lesson today, be easy, be on your hood and be jolly. 


Alright, back to today, for a change it was a dry day today and it was not that cold. Pretty hummit I must say, we call it Dutch weather. First rain then the next day sunny and warm, then the next day rain again. Today I planned something to clean, I felt good and I thought, " Why not?" I have been cleaning some stairs this morning and emptied the garbage bin in the ' green'  kitchen. The stairs were okay, lots of dust and garbage but it went good. The garbage bin was a disaster, they forgot to put a bag in the bin, (like always) lots of food, cans and other garbage. It just needed to be done, I emptied the bin bit by bit with plastic gloves and putted the garbage in another garbagebag. Cleaned the bin afterwards with all-cleaner and letted it dry. Later on a new bag in the bin and done. 


I finnished alot of things today what I had listed on a little paper, I asked the staff if they send the 600 Euro already (for my new laptop) on my ING account, they forgot, ugh! So they did that today. I sent an e-mail to a housing corporation in Almelo, me and Paula want to ask for urgenty (If you ask for urgenty you will get on a list with people who need to have an house urgent) In the first place this corporation said no, but Paula and me want to try it again. Next thing I went was to the doctor's for my blood results. (I did bloodwork last Friday for my thyroid) The doctor's assistant told me that my results are not that okay, speaking in medical terms, my TSH is good but the FT4 wasn't good. The FT4 was to high, meaning my 'fake' thyroid was working to low/ not responding well. 


Allthough this the doctor's assistant was suprised to see me in this condition. She saw that I felt good, and I felt good. According to the results I should have been pretty sick, for example my eating appetite must be low. But I feel good, the doctor's assistant told me that there must have been a mistake sending the blood results from the hospital to my doctor. Perhaps a typing mistake, best thing I could do was take again some blood and wait again for the blood results. Next week I will, I know the way now where to go. My doctor is going on vacation though starting next week so I have to call another doctor for the results, that's alright. They forspelled a rainy day again tomorrow, I still need to do some grocery and then I'm done for this week. I'm looking forward for tomorrow's appointment with Paula, it's always a pleasure talking to her.

"Feeling good on a rainy day."

"Feeling good on a rainy day."

Rain, rain,rain, rain, rain, rain, rain,rain, rain, rain, rain, rain,rain, rain, rain, rain, rain,rain, rain, rain, rain, rain,rain, rain, rain, rain, rain,rain, rain, rain, and lots of strong wind. The weatherforecast said this weather is good for our farmers in our country, I bet it is cause the rain was very needed. I like the rain, I can look at it for hours with a cuppa hot chocolate with some cream on it. My neighbor offered me a cuppa hot chocolate with two much cream on it, nice of her. I had a very nice day today at work, I finnished two wooden as-trays. The first one was almost screwed up two days ago by my Boss, but I fixed the sawing top this morning and afterwards I made another one. The second one was much easier to build. Today my Boss invited me for a talk in his office, (eek!) just a regular talk though about how things are going now and what he thinks of me. He writes every month a rapport of me like he also does with the other workers.

My rapport was good, but here and there he had some min points. I didn't agree with some off the  min points though, the Boss told me that I have to think to much or to long while I'm working, aswell I don't see the things sometimes what has the 'finnishing touch' on a product. Now my Boss wasn't mad or angry with these min points, but he just wanted to point me on this, and wants me to learn to do it better next time. Yes, I have to think alot while I'm working, and yes, I have to think sometimes (to) long. I sometimes don't remind me things, then I have to do my best to remind me what I have to do or think to myself, "How did I do that the last time?" These thoughts makes me work a bit longer on a product, but I'm still learning aswell, and I like the learning. Hey! I never worked with wood, gimme a break! LOL! I didn't agree with the 'finnishing touch' on a product, I surely have that. But sometimes I feel a pressure while I'm working and then I wanna do it to fast.

I have to learn not to do that, My Dad has the same when he was still working, oblivious we have the same caracters. The brain says, go! go! While the body says no! no! When the Boss and I were talking I had the oppertunity to tell him about his mistakes but, how on earth do you tell your Boss on a nice way he makes mistakes and shoves his mistakes then over to me? I did tell it though, and on a nice way, I told him it in a few examples. I told him a few things what happened the last few weeks while we worked together. I knew my Boss wouldn't get mad or would fire me, lol. I told him about the screwed up as-tray and that I didn't like it what happened. He explained me that I have to be more assertive then next time, he was waiting for my response while he screwed up, and yeah, "Everyone can make mistakes, even me." he admitted. 

It was a nice talk, afterwards I thought, "be more assertive Sjon!" Proof that you can do it, proof that you disagree with your min-points ! A total suprise today at work, Johannus showed up for a a few minutes. Woot! I totally didn't expect him, I thought right away about Ricardo, I asked Johannus if he had 'him' with him. But no! Sigh! I miss seeing him, missing the hugs and the things we did together. "I sure wanna see Ricardo once again," I told Johannus, we still have to do that meeting in his new house, "We sure do," he answered. But he's busy aswell, and he his a new girlfriend. (again) I was kinda shocked though after he told me that his new girlfriend is 47, Johannus is 37. The girlfriend he had before for a little while was 24, "I'm happy with her and the kids love her," told Johannus . He didn't stay long, and I told him again just before he left that we need a meeting soon in his new house. In wanna see Ricardo and give him a hug, Johannus will send me a message.

Working was nice today, like I told already in the beginning of this post, nice working, nice atmosphere, nice music, laughing and joking sometimes. It was all good. Am I happy? Hmm, maybe I can call it satisfied, or shall I just say I'm happy? Are there catagories in being happy? Alright,I'm not 100% happy but 75% happy. That's also good right? Okay I'm ending this post now, there's lots to tell still though, but that can wait till tomorrow....

"After sunshine comes rain."

"After sunshine comes rain."

After two gorgeous days with sunshine and warmth the rain came down last night, and it's cold. The last two days we had 26 degrees Celcius, and now it's only 16 degrees Celcius. It's dry now while I'm writing this but it's grey and still cold. I just woke up from a very nice nap, I slept more then a hour, wow, I actually never sleep so long. I guess it was needed after two days of work, yesterday I was tired, lots of heavy work and a Boss who doesn't/can't corporate does something to me, lol. Today I planned a rest day, doing completely nothing. The nap I just had felt so nice, and did me good. This morning I had a appointment with Paula at 11:00 am, she was busy but she felt good although her pregnancy.We have been looking for houses online, Paula informed me that there were more sites to look for houses.We both found quit a few houses where we both react on, it feels better now for me to look for houses.

First I felt akward and anxcious, I had a bit that 'eek' feeling, but now I'm good, the more choice for houses the better I feel. I had one last question for Paula, I need a new laptop cause this laptop is done. There are to much damages left behind after I cleaned all the viruses on this machine. I can't do updates anymore, it keeps crashing, and it's slow. Now it must be akward to hear that I have to ask for (my) money for a new laptop, well, it does. Let me explain, all my money is staying at this moment on the bank account from Humanitas.When I get my monthly income it goes to Humanitas, when I have to pay a bill I have to ask the secetary of Humanitas to pay this from my money, when I get all other extra money it goes to the account from Humanitas.This may sound weird but it's the way how Humanitas works, they keep an eye on your money so that it stays safe. Every resident here has this.

Most of the residents here can't control there money, they buy alcohol or even worser drugs for it. Some residents have alot of guilts and bills that has to be payed, Humanitas helps them out with that by keeping an eye on there money and if there's enough money in there eyes and the counselor's eye they will pay the bills and guilts together with the resident. Some residents don't like this at all, "It's my money, I can do with it what I want, it's not fair," they shout sometimes. But appearantly they can't, I know a few residents who buy alcohol as soon they have a bit of money, I pity them. I understand there anger though but the way Humanitas works is much better for them. Anyway I had to ask for (my) money for a new needed laptop. First I had doubts to buy it cause it's ofcource not a bit money, but it's really needed. Paula was okay with it, although she told me aswell that it's alot of money.

I can't do without a computer, I have connections on it and I would like to search for houses online without that the computer crashes all the time. And then suddenly Ina stood at my door... She has it very difficult at the moment with her ex, she's not calm and she's not the Ina anymore that I know. Her ex messages her all the time with insults and nagging's, it drives her crazy. I know it's not my bussines but when we all live here together it's sure not easy to keep things for yourself, and ofcource there's always someone wheo would like to have a listening ear. Sometimes it goes automaticly. Ina cried and ofcource I get weak, don't ever cry infront of me or just let a few tears, I will come towards you. Ina has to ignore her ex but she and her ex have two kids....

...Plus they have there personal belongings to take care off though the seperation, they can't ignore each other just like that. But when Ina's ex is such a pain... Ina's ex put aswell the kids in between them.(wrong, I know) I letter her in and putted an arm around her and talked to her, but aswell I kept my distance (cause the last time I putted an arm around her, she shoved it of, and reminding myself that evening when we were both together....yeah, I have to take it easy for myself) I knew what to do and what not to do. I told her to put out the phone for a while and if she needs to call her ex for something then use it, but otherwise, phone out. It's not only her ex what drives her crazy, she told me she has after her seperation eight admirers wanting her and texting her, and being at Humanitas with her 11 year old daughter isn't a pleasure either.

I know from myself that when someone is suffering that it does something to me, I like to take care of them then and be there when it's needed. BUT I learned here a good lesson aswell, I have to keep a certain distance and get not involved to much. Saying it hard, 'It's not my bussines.' But a talk here and there and sometimes a helping hand doesn't harm, I guess, I gotta keep an eye on myself also though. I'm feeling good though the last few weeks, not extremely happy but I'm getting there. I achieved alot of things what I wanted to achieve, and that makes me happy. I have my normal income every month back, work is going well, very well I must say, I'm getting along good with the other residents, (we talk and joke around alot) I so now and then keep in touch with Saf and the kids, that was my goal. No hatred, no arguess and no hard feelings. No more bills to pay, I'm all bill free!

These things I summed up gives me strenght, and makes me feel good. I really like it that Saf and I getting along at the moment, we sure do not email each other every day or every week, that's not needed. But so now and then a mail whenever I feel for it or when she feels for it. And the kids I see them sometimes on Facebook, sometimes here and there a comment or a message. It's all good, nowif you want to excuse me.... it's time to look for houses again. Yay!

"Word spell check online for free."

"Word spell check online for free." 

I need to work on my english more, LOL! Mr. perfectionist wants to write perfect english, while writing in my blog. Sometimes I have problems with some of the english words, then I think I write it the word good, but in the end it's wrong.And Google translate isn't that perfect either.


I caught myself again on mistakes, I wrote writting with two t's instead of with one t.

I use alot the word 'manich,' but it's actually 'manage.' It's just an example how many mistakes I sometimes make while writing, I dislike it. But, I found a solution! There is a free spell checker online, and I'm so gonna use that. No more writing mistakes in my blog, hopefully. P.s. If someone of the readers/followers catch me while I spell or write a word wrong, please gimme a sign, LOL! So far no mistakes yet.

I worked hard today, I worked on two little tables, there for beside the 'huge' corner couch. I worked alone on them with sometimes some help from the second Boss, yes, the second Boss is back for a little while. The second boss helps the other workers when it's needed. He's an old carpenter, so he knows what he is doing, I'm glad he is back. The 'office' Boss was on the office today where he belongs, it was all good. The wood where I worked with was difficult to work with, the wood was all crooked and not right, but I maniched, oops, managed it. I needed alot of tools to get it all right and good. Mission accomplished. 

With one thing I made today I failed, and yeah this time (again) The (office) Boss helped me out. I needed to make a wooden ash tray for outside, see picture. The ash tray you see on the left looks a bit the same, but the one I (tried) to make has to be made of wood and has to be square. I finnished it almost but the hole on top was difficult to saw, it needed to be done with an electric saw. and the size of the hole had to be measured very well, otherwise the metal bucket wouldn't fit. I was thinking and tried to solve it how to do it, then the Boss came out of his office, and I saw trouble coming, LOL! "How we gonna solve that, what is your plan," he asked me friendly. "I'm still thinking," I replied. The boss took a pencil and started to draw the hole he wanted. Then he asked me, "Are you gonna saw it or am I gonna saw it?" 
I told him that he can do it, cause if I do it, I can't do it while he looks on my fingers, LOL.  




When he started he went like crazy with the electric saw, and it had to be precizely. I saw this already comming though. (Oops, comming is with two m's? or with one m? Dictionary say's one m, I was wrong) I saw this comming though, and I tought, oh no, there goes my ash tray! Sigh! "I't not fitting anymore the metal bucket," the Boss whispered. "No," I replied. "How we gonna solve this," he asked me while he putted an arm on my shoulder. I was done for today, it's been a long day, I was tired. "I don't know," I replied. "Make a new one?" I said. I think and I hoped that the Boss knew he he made a mistake and screwed it up for me. 


So much work on that box and now I have to make a new one. But not today anymore, cause it was nearly time to call it a day. It was a half an hour before the shift time was over. The Boss walked away and came back later, I was standing there and decided to get a broom and clean up my working spot. The Boss looked at me, (I think he felt guilty) and asked me what I was doing, I told him I had a long day and that was tired, "I will clean up my spot and make it all shiny and then I call it a day," I told him. He looked at me and kept looking, that was a bit of a akward feeling. It was alright with the Boss, "Thursday another day," he wisphered. 


When I came home I layed down for a while and then took a shower and made dinner. I was exhausted, the two tables I made today was heavy on me, and I think afterwards the wooden ash tray was a bit to much, maybe I went over my line a bit. But I was nearly done though, until..... LOL! Anyway, Thursday another day, tomorrow is a day of rest! I had a nice evening with some of the residents, coffee and jokes.