"Venting."

"Venting."

How to delete or ban a Family member out of your mind! Yes, my Aunt called again, I didn't have to buy groceries anymore, she and her Son did all the groceries for Dad. Aunt was short in her sentences, she just wanted to announce that I didn't have to buy groceries, what I planned this weekend. Oh, before I forget, Aunt told aswell to one of Dad's nurses that she doesn't trust me anymore, for example with the visits. Yeah RUB it in Aunt, I'm done with her. The baddest part is that my Aunt will gossip this around in our Family. Making my feel bad and sad, and even don't feel like coming to my own Dad anymore, they all must think bad about me...sigh! Typical my Aunt! I'm done with her now, it's me and Dad now. 

My plan is to go every weekend to Dad for a visit, period! (Lol, I even marked my calendar) Tomorrow in the afternoon I will go aswell, I hope then that I can speak one of Dad's nurses. To see what I can do for Dad, maybe groceries, or even financial stuff, or something else. No I'm not overwhelmed with things. Maybe I'm a bit over reacting now, but talking with one of

Dad's nurses for changes in his needs is good. There has to be changes now, if it's possible I would like to let my Aunt totally out of this. I will find some solutions, cause this is breaking me. No wonder that I had tension or stress. She done it again, it's been enough now. If I don't stop her now then there will come a time that I'm gonna be ashamed of myself to visit my own Dad.

So, that's of my chest, do I feel better now? No. not really, not before I settled things with Dad. Though venting, clearing your heart out is good I reckon. Though, at one thing my Aunt could be right, I have to visit my Dad more often. But I don't know why I don't, sure I visit him, but not every week. I also have other things to do. Lack of energy is killing me sometimes, plus, I don't live five minutes away from Dad, like my Aunt and Uncle do. Though I will make time now, to make a statement? Yes and no, first of all to visit my Dad more often. Goodbye Aunt, hello Dad!

Great day at work!

Great day at work! 

I had a nice day at work, I felt way better then last week. Last week I felt dizzy, had a stomach ache, and I didn't know what it was, worries took over. Maybe it was just tension, anyway, this day felt good, relieving aswell. Weird and awkward how tension or stress can fool you, it's such a strong thing. Again it was busy with work, I managed to do alot, but worked easy, steady and easy. We have one fellow worker more in our section this week, he's not a new person but he came from another section. That was a relief aswell, one more guy helping us out, now we could take our time and work without being hasty or without the fear of making mistakes cause things had to go fast. Yeah, it's been a good day for work.

This week the 'free dinners' are complete again, in the Summer holiday there was only the Monday evening for a free dinner. But now it's the usual three times again, once on Monday evening, once on Wednesday evening and once on Thursday evening. I still go there and have dinner, it sure saves alot of money, and it's cozy seeing your so called buddies again. Not everyone there but just a view, some I know there are from my time at Humanitas. Though they are aswell people who are absolutely NOT my type, they are (the) homeless people. They are mostly drunk and behave like little kids, don't mess with them either. Sometimes I even think to stop the free dinners, just because of them. 

But, I'm sure I will miss my (Humanitas) buddies, plus the (free) food ofcource, lol. Yeah, it's nice getting together once or twice a week. It's only a hour but it feels nice. Tonight's free dinner was nice aswell, there was lots of food to choose from. And all for free, it's amazing!

"Worry less."

"Worry less."

Easier said then done right? Just throw of all your worries and be done with it, yeah, easy as that, not! I should not even worry about little things but I do, sometimes I worry about things unknown. And it seems there's always something to worry about, Yeah, seems! My Aunt called last week, I think I mentioned that already. It was about that she and her Husband can't do some of things they use to do for my Dad anymore, 'they' have been chosen by my Dads nurses cause they live close to my Dad. If I would have lived near my Dad I would have been involved more in the 'to do' things. Though I'm involved, ofcource I'm still a Son of my Dad. But it's easier for me and my Dad that a Family member who lives close can do 'those' things. The 'to do' things are simply  financial stuff, for example when my Dad gets mail or he has to pay something, my Uncle will look after that. Aswell when my Dad needs groceries or clothing or whatever, my Aunt and Uncle will do that.

I appreciate that alot what they do, I really wish I could do it, or was able or have the energy to do it. I could do something ofcource but like I said, my Uncle and Aunt live near, plus they offered the help aswell. What I do is trying to visit Dad once a week or perhaps once in two weeks, depends if I have the time and the energy. Though I really wish I could do more, lots more. Sometimes it worries and hurts me, it even gets worse when my Aunt sometimes calls to make that feeling worse. "You should come more often, you have plenty of time, you are never here, your Dad complains," I can go on and on. And when they began about Canada ("We warned you not to go!") then I'm really done with them, it's typical my Aunt. It's aswell typical my Dad's side of the Family. Always nagging and negative. At the moment my Uncle is sick and is not able to help my Dad financially, plus my Aunt can't drive a car so she's not able to visit Dad anymore once a week.

I knew on forehand that this time would come, my Aunt and Uncle are getting older, so someone else has to do the things what they did for my Dad. I'm 100% sure it isn't that much, I'm sure there is a be a solution. Though it worries me, I need to make a appointment with my Dad's head nurse, (or how you call someone like that) to talk about a solution. I already sent a email but that didn't work out, I will have to go there and talk to one of the nurses. My Aunt writes me almost daily an email, Dad eats weekly his raisin bread what he gets from my Aunt, my Aunt buys it from the store. But my Aunt can't do that no more cause, her husband (my Uncle) is sick, so, Uncle sick, no car, no store, no raisin bread. Now my Aunt wants me to get the raisin bread, (once a week) well, I'm not going from my city to another city to get raisin bread for my Dad, I'm sorry. My Aunt makes such a fuzz about this, I mean...

My Dad can get raisin bread at the place where he lives, solution one.This weekend another email, again about the raisin bread, I told her I was sick and that I perhaps maybe will go on a Wednesday, if not then I will go on a Friday or a Saturday. I told her aswell that she can make a little grocery list, so that I can buy a few things more for Dad. Ugh, I'm so done with my Aunt, I need to get in contact with one of the nurses at my Dads place, together we need a solution for Dads finance and shopping. My Aunt can take a hike! And my worries? Yeah, it's about my Dad, and the nurse appointment that I have to make, and the raisin bread that I have to get this week, lol. I don't even have to, I know. Man up Sjon!!

Weekends are flying by!

Weekends are flying by! 

Saturday evening already, time is flying by. This morning I woke up with a bit of a empty feeling, that empty, lonely feeling that I have sometimes. Those moments will pass as always, but it's also a sign that I have to keep searching for social contacts. I almost forgot about that. Before the Summer holiday I had contact with a (new kind of a ) counselor who will help me with finding volunteer work/social contacts, he or she will guide me, or give me that extra push towards social contacts or volunteer work. It's a kind of a program/project. I tried to find myself something but nearly gave up on it, just because of the simple reason that there's not much to do here for volunteers work or getting new social contacts. So, it's great that I get that extra help, maybe the new counselor knows more then me, right?

Now, my old counselor (Sahajo) signed me in to this new project/program, but he told me aswell that this program will start after the Summer holiday, meaning upcoming week. I can't wait, I'm a bit nerves but excited aswell. Today went pretty fast by, it's nice though cause weekends are pretty much boring, I should not say that actually. It's in my own hands to make something of the weekend. Today I got me a electric toothbrush, finally, lol. I always wanted one but had doubts to but it. I'm happy I bought one, I think my dentist will be happy aswell, she advised me to buy one. Next item I almost bought was a rain poncho, there so handy and way much better then a rain suit. I dislike to put on my rain pants and put them out afterwards, it's a hell of a job. 

The rain poncho I kinda just throw on me and I'm done. Though the only one I saw costed to much, then I rather get wet, lol. But I will keep searhing for one, there so handy. I was cold last night, no wonder, cause the tempature last night was almost below zero, woot! Autumn is on his way. My dizziness and stomach ache seems to be floading away, though I will keep taking it easy. Maybe it was just tension, I don't know. Tension for what? I don't know either, lol. I can sometimes worry about the slightest littlest things, I'll have to man up for my silly worries.

Wish I was a Doctor, so I could know what's going on with me.

Wish I was a Doctor, so I could know what's going on with me. 

One moment I'm feeling like I'm gonna faint or get real sick, and the next moment I'm good again. Could it be tension? Or perhaps unknown stress?  I should not even think about it and just take it easy and move on. Thinking about it makes it worser. Still the dizziness and the short breathed is bothering me, I never had this. Though while I'm writing this I feel a bit better. I worked a half day in the afternoon, I had here and there a few doubts if I should go, but I knew actually already that I would go anyway. I woke up early this morning, but after being awake for 30 minutes I took my first nap already. I slept long, afterwards I went to the hospital for my 'tests,' blood sugar and thyroid. I'm curious of the results. 

Today's work, sawing mats out of a large, huge mat.

The tests went fine, "Always look somewhere else when the needle comes, lol." After the tests I went home and took another nap, the weather felt like a Autumn day, grey, rainy and cold. The nap was good, I slept for another hour, wow!  And yeah, around 12:30 I decided to put on my working clothes and work a half day. I felt not that good but I thought if I just sit here at home and think about what's wrong with me, it will only get worser. I was excited to go aswell, so yeah, off I went. Some workers were confussed to see me, lol. But my leading worker was really surprised and excited. Work went well this afternoon, I took it easy. The dizziness bothered me, sigh. I would loved to know the results of my tests, I will have to wait untill Tuesday. 

There you go, one mat!

Before I went to work I bought a little bit of groceries for in the evening, snacks and a beer. Oh and some fruit and juice for work. I cooked my dinner when I got back from work and afterwards I sat down and relaxed. This weekend I'm planning not that much, though I have to visit my Dad soon, it's about time. Gosh, my Aunt called yesterday, she can be such a pain sometimes. Nagging and nagging, I will tell about her tomorrow.... I shouldn't say this actually but, when the time has come that my Dad passes away, (now, don't get me wrong, cause I hope my Dad will become 200 years old) I will never get in contact with my Aunt or other Family members from my Dad's side again. It will be such a relief, really no offence to my Dad, he has a heart of gold. But the others, sigh.

I have the best Boss ever.

I have the best Boss ever. 

It was a 'nerves' day today, I kept thinking of the 'extra day of working.' The fellow worker where I worked with and is a leader in our section told me already this morning, "There is a 90% chance that the Boss will come ask you for a extra day." Yes, we are busy in our section, it's almost madness. To many orders for two working man I tell ya! Normally we have 3 or 4 people working in our section, but they are busy elsewhere. I didn't felt well today, just like the last 3 days I felt dizzy, pressure on my chest and a little stomach ache, the more I though about it, the worse it became. Thinking of the 'extra day,' made it even worse. The whole day I was planning ahead what to tell the Boss when she comes to ask me for a extra day of work, in the meanwhile I thought aswell, "Should I work tomorrow, or shall I refuse?" I should refuse, I'm not feeling well, I need rest.

But I did my work well, I actually did alot. There was a huge order and my leading man and I got the job done, it wasn't heavy work though, just little mats, though they were many little mats. After lunch I felt a bit better, strange... always after lunch I feel a bit better. I had many drinks with me today, one bottle of water, and 2 bottles of vitamin water. (Water with a taste, lol) I figured that alot to drink is good for my stomach. In the afternoon we switched our work to another order, this order was heavy. Meaning hasty and rough, but aswell precisely. These mats were 5 meters long and we had to add carpet in the mats, sigh, what a work. My leading worker is fast while working, I shouldn't even look at him while working, or try to keep up with him. No one can. This order we had almost the whole week, and we had more orders to do. Busy, busy, busy, madhouse.

I already decided in the afternoon that I won't be working that extra day tomorrow, I was done, I was exhausted, it's been enough today. I did my best and I can be proud of myself, but like I said... enough is enough. Still, the Boss didn't come for asking me to work the next day, but just a half hour before closing time Mark came from the office... Mark is a guy who plans the orders, and place the other workers in what section they have to work. He came up to me, and yeah, he asked me if I was willing to work tomorrow. I told him, "I wish I could, but I'm really done, I gave it all today." I had more to say but, he interrupt me and told me, "I can see it, it's okay, I know how it feels." Though I explained a bit further my story, that I felt not well this week, and that I'm, going for a blood sugar test tomorrw. Yeah, I felt pretty bad to refuse that 'extra day.' Worried to loose my job in the first place.

But some workers complimented me afterwards, "Brave from you to refuse," or "Thumbs up." Though I told them that I really had a nasty feeling about it, lol. But at the same time I felt relieved aswell, relieved that I didn't have to work tomorrow. My leading worker kept making jokes, lol, "I will see you tomorrow," he said. He was surely not that happy but secretly he understood my decision too. The silliest thing I did today? I called my Boss after I got home after work, lol. I called her personally to explain why I couldn't work tomorrow, explaining what was wrong with me this week. It was a good conversation, she was on her way home in the carand she really appreciate that I called. Ofcource she understood why I couldn't work, "Only you can describe how you feel, no one else," she told me. My Boss was happy that I called extra to explain things, I could always call her. 

Though she asked me if I was able to work for a few hours tomorrow, probably I will after I did my blood sugar test, but I will see. I told her that if I come to work it will be a half day,  (in the afternoon)  but I'm not promising it. That was alright with her, "Atleast think about it, I totally understand if you decide not to come." Now, is that a good Boss or whatt? I worried about nothing, worried that I might loose my job if I refuse a extra day of work. I have the best Boss, and I worry to much.

Wednesday...

Wednesday... 

Yeah, early to bed is never wrong.

Haven't got much news today, I didn't feel well, still a bit dizzy, stomach ache and short breathed. I have my moments that I feel a bit better, but... It worries me, and worrying isn't healthy for feeling sick, it will only get worse then. Around 8:00 am I called the Doctor for a appointment, I could come at 2:20 pm. Well okay. It's been a lazy day, rested alot (2 naps) and did my groceries. I went to taxes aswell. Last week I got a letter from them, it said that I will receive a small amount of money back from the year 2011. BUT the bank number on that letter was wrong, the money will be deposit on Humanitas's bank account, my old address. Sigh, not my fault, so I went to taxes to get 'that' straight. Afterwards to Humanitas for asking the 'small amount of money back,' "That's the best option to get your money back," said the man behind the desk at taxes. So yeah.

Always something with taxes, I could write almost a book about them, it seems it's every week something with them. Perhaps that's why the stomach ache and the feeling dizzy. Ugh, unknown stress, it seems I'm a easy worrier, lol. Worrying about small little things, where I sometimes not even have to worry about. Anyway, at 2:20 I was nicely on time at the Doctors. I told the Doctor what's wrong with me, and I was clear. But the Doctor couldn't figure out what it was, she listened to my heart and measured my blood pressure, that was perfect. I asked for a blood sugar test, cause that might be it aswell, (dizzy, short breathed) The Doctor gave me a card for the blood sugar test and she wanted to know my thyroid blood results aswell. "Don't worry," said the Doctor, "I will try," was my response. Easier said then done.

Upcoming Friday I will got to the hospital for the 'tests.' Tomorrow isn't possible cause then I work. There is a chance that I have to work an extra day on Friday, just like last week. It's better for my health not to work, but... I will see. My heart is good and my blood pressure is perfect, and I think my thyroid results are going to be good aswell. So what's left is the blood sugar or maybe stress, I will just see what the upcoming days bring. It's busy this week, we have some orders that have to be done in our section. Next week will be 'normal'again. So, perhaps one more day extra working.... only this week.... I will see and I won't worry.

Dad's care!

Dad's care! 

I wish I could visit my Dad more often, I wish I had a car and a drivers licence. All wishes where I have nothing on at the moment. My Aunt called this evening, Dad needed five slices of raisin bread tomorrow. My Aunt or Uncle buys them for Dad every week, Aunt asked if I could get them tomorrow. Sure, I will hop on my bicycle tomorrow and drive a 15 km to get five slices of raisin bread.You know what? This bugs me in a few ways... Should I? Or should I not get the raisin bread? My decision is no, I'm not gonna do that, but that feeling of 'Maybe I should,' keeps bugging me. There has to be changes of how my Dads Family and the day care take care of my Dad.It's me who's gonna take care of that, why? Cause I would like to be the responsible person for this. 

The 'care of my Dad' what my Uncle and Aunt does now is good, it isn't that much cause most of the 'care' do the sisters and nurses in the day care where my Dad lives. My Uncle and Aunt do the little groceries, and buy aswell other stuff, for example, sheets, towels and clothing. It looks like alot of work but it isn't that much, they live close near my Dad. Though I really appreciate what they do. I'm almost ashamed off myself that I'm not able to do this, I have alot of work of myself, and I need my rest also. (ashamed feeling now) Sure I could do a little groceries for my Dad, or buy him the things what he needs, then I have to do that in the weekends. But my Dad's finance what my Uncle does now, no, I couldn't do that. That's just a bit TO much stress for me. 

My Uncle is sick at the moment, hospital visits and he looks and feels bad. I knew this time would come one of these days. My Aunt and Uncle are getting older, and there will be a time that they can't do the things for my Dad as they do now. I have been thinking about it, thinking about, "Who's gonna take care of Dad then?" The sisters and the nurses at the day care ofcource, I know. But the other care I meant. There has to be a solution, I informed one of the leading nurses trough a E-mail just an hour ago. Asking her to make a appointment for a conversation, together we will talk about a solution. Who's gonna do the groceries or the finance. I'm pretty sure we both will find a solution. I will keep doing my once in two week visits at my Dads, like I usually do. 

I probably will get a answer back tomorrow, hopefully. Work today went so so, it was almost the same like yesterday. I felt sick in the morning and felt a bit better in the afternoon, only today's morning was badder then yesterday. I really had to take it easy this morning, short breathed, dizzy and a bit of a weird stomach. I longed for tomorrow's day off. It's so weird though, I was slightly okay when I took it easy, but when I lifted something heavy  or stood in a bend over position and got up, the dizzy feeling came and I felt pressure on my chest and stomach. After my lunch I felt better, and could do my work (quit) normal. It could be my 'blood sugar,' awkward though goes no one in my Family has been sick with 'blood sugars.' 

This morning I was thinking that I really needed to see a Doctor this week, I felt so bad, I thought, "This isn't good." And now I think, 'Let's see how it goes after a day off.' If my blood sugar isn't good then it should bother me the whole day and not only in periods, right? Hmm, yeah. I will have my resting day tomorrow, let's see how I feel tomorrow. Rest is needed, cause sometimes I think I'm doing to much at work, to much my thyroid can handle. This is one of the reasons why I don't go buy five slices of raisin bread for my Dad, otherwise I would have thought about it, and in the end would do it. Lately I haven't been feeling good, I need my rest in the days off I have. No rush and no stress.

Slow start this morning...

Slow start this morning... 

I surely didn't feel that well this morning, short breathed, a bit dizzy, and it felt like my stomach was in a knot. Stress? Nerves? Or something else? I don't know. The dizzy feeling I had last week aswell, not much but it was there. When I stood in rare position a bit to long, or sat to long and then suddenly got up, I had to hold myself. I have to take it easy these days, like my old Doctor always said, "Do what you can, and listen to your body." Sometimes the problem is... when I work I feel good, I feel satisfied, I like the things I do while working. I feel a achievements, and sometimes I over react while working. 'Taking to much hay on my fork,' as we Dutch people say, doing just a bit to much what I'm actually able of. I won't notice the pain though or that exhausted feeling, 'that' I will feel afterwards. But then it's to late.

Later today I felt a bit better, I felt relieved. Listening to your body is surely not that easy, when I feel not well, yeah, THEN it's easier, like this morning. I need my rest, I need to plan my rest on my 'off' days. Maybe I should start with yoga lessons, lol. It's busy at work, I like it though, though 'taking it easy' is a must aswell. Today I had to explain some work activities to a new worker, *Insert proud feeling, lol* The explaining went well, and easy. It made me think of the time when I had the same activity, and someone else explained it to me. I love my job, though sometimes it worries me, like today. I know we have it busy, and I know that sometimes some fellow workers are working over time. Though I really hope that the Boss won't ask me, cause I can't. Not with my sickness, I already work three days in the week, and that's all I'm able off.

The Boss asked me (when I signed the contract) if I was flexible while working, meaning, if they are really busy that they could ask me for an extra day. I told them, 'Yes, sure.' The Boss told me aswell that they will keep in mind that I'm only able off working three days only. So if I work a extra day, then I will be a day off the next week. Example, if I work four days in the week, (just for once a extra day) then I will be working the next week only two days. Last week I had a etra day, but this week I work three day, instead of two days. The extra day from last week was though, I needed fully rest. There will come a time (maybe this week) that I will have to refuse if they gonna ask me for a extra day, or perhaps working over time. Cause I'm just not able to do it, what worries me is that if I keep refusing that they perhaps will fire me.

Okay, when it's really busy, THEN I will think about it to work a extra day, but I hope it's not every week then. Sigh, so far so good, listen to your body Sjon! And stop worrying!

Ready for manic Monday!

Ready for manic Monday!

It's been a short weekend, only two days instead of the usual three days. It's been good though, good, and I had enough time to rest. I didn't do that much this weekend, only groceries, laundry and I went trough my weekly mail. But most of all I rested, flat on the couch and relax. Now I'm all ready for tomorrow's work. Looking trough my weekly mail is not always a pleasure, there's always mail what I have to check twice, and sometimes I have to go after a certain mail to get it settled.

I bought strawberries this Saturday! They were on sale.

Today aswell, I got a little bit of money back from taxes. I have absolute no idea why and where it comes from, my Dad would say, "Doesn't matter, if you get money don't ask why, if you have to pay money, then ask why." Yeah, I get that, but what if I must pay all the received money back? The money I got will be transferred to a bank account what isn't mine. The address is right but the bank number isn't! Wednesday I will go again to taxes, to ask what 'this' all means, sigh.

Sundays dinner, sauce for the rice. With chickenbreast, red pepper, and cashew nuts.

Always something with taxes.  I wish sometimes that everything was settled with my finance, that I don't have to look after it. That everything's settled and will be payed automaticly, that's my dream. I'm looking forward to tomorrow's work, I'm sure it will be busy. That's okay, I will do my best, it's all I can do. The guy where I work with in our section is a hard worker, no one can keep up with him, no one! That's not my goal either, he can work hard, I can too, but only in my own way.

"Doing well."

"Doing well." 

Sometimes it's a though job to write something down here, like today I didn't do much, so there's not much to write. But once I'm starting with writing, it's going on and on. It's like I'm writing down my thoughts, or writing to myself. It's like talking to someone else aswell, writing about how my day was, or writing about my thoughts, just anything. Sometimes I think I write to much, I should keep it short, the readers don't have to know everything. But anyway. 

I had my rest today, though I didn't sleep that much trough the day. I had one big nap and that was it. The 'objection'letter is on his way, it's written, addressed, and signed. I needed a copy aswell, so I went to Humanitas, (copy for free, lol) surprising that my old counselor Paula opened the door. It was nice seeing her back, we had a tea together and a nice little chat. I'm always welcome at Humanitas, though I less the visits, I don't want to go there for every little thing. 

Paula asked me a few things where I couldn't answer her on, it was about finance. I couldn't answer her how much I earned now in the month, I really need to do my book holdings better, lol. Tomorrow is a nice day for that, I like to have things settled, I hate messing up in my finance/book holdings. I know mostly everything goes automatically (paying my gas/electricity, rent, insurances, etc, etc. But if they would ask me how much do I pay for rent or my health insurance, I couldn't tell you.

It worries me aswell, (silly Sjon) I keep saying that everything is in order now with my finance, but is it really? Do I have everything in order? Do I not miss out on anything? Anyhow, Sunday I will storm trough my book holdings. For now I will finish my beer and my chips,lol. Hey, it's Saturday eve' I deserve a treat!

Schedule for the next coming days: Rest!

Schedule for the next coming days: Rest! 

And I didn't even mentioned it yesterday, (I think) Today I had a appointment at the hospital for a  electrocardiography, in June I had pain in my chest, short breathed, pain in my throat while swallowing food or liquid, it was a bit of a stabbing pain. My Doctor told me she couldn't find anything, so she send me to the hospital for a electrocardiography. Within two weeks I got a letter from the hospital with the confirming for the electrocardiography. 24th of August at 10:30 am, kinda awkward that I had to wait almost two months for the appointment, but okay. Today was the day.

Though, today I worked aswell a extra day. So, I had to tell to my Boss that I have a appointment at 10:30 am, actually I had to be 15 minutes earlier cause of the ECG. I left after the first coffee break at 9:50 am, way to early but my partner fellow worker told me I could go, "It's alright," he said. Glad I went earlier cause I wasn't even sitting five minutes in the full packed with people waiting room and it was my turn already, surprising, cause  it was still early. (10:10 am) The lady who helped me said that she wanted to have a look at your heart first before I go on the (special) home trainer. (ECG)

I thought I only had to go on 'that' home trainer, and that was that, I thought the ECG was the ride on the home trainer. But no, first they went and looked at my heart, then the 'home trainer,' and then the final results (from the heart) from a special Doctor. From him I got the results plus a  a little explaining at 11:20 am, what I didn't know, lol.  It all stood in the letter I received from the hospital, ECG at 10:15, home trainer ride at 10:30, and then the results at 11:20. Everything went pretty fast, just my luck,lol. I didn't like to come later at work, I told them that I will be back a bit after 11:00, But hey, the results I will get at 11:20, sigh. 

The ride on the home trainer went well, a ride for a little 15 minutes, the last 5 minutes were though. But I succeeded, I'm a fervent cycler, lol.  Then the waiting in the waiting room for the results, I thought, "Sure I'm okay with the results, let's get it on, work is waiting." Though I thought aswell, "Will the results be good?" And yeah, the results were good, the Doctor was nice and asked me further about things, for example why I'm sometimes short breathed, I blame it on my thyroid, and the Doctor understood. My heart is good, no worries about that, blood pressure was perfect aswell.

I wasn't surprised about the blood pressure, cause it's always good when someone is checking it, I got used to it. How went my extra day? Well, I kinda programmed myself to it, and it went okay. The last few hours though were tough, no, I will not work four days a week for always, that's just a bit to much for my body. It was busy today on my section, that's why the extra day. This Friday felt different,  a two days weekend feels different then a three days weekend. I need surely my rest after giving everything four days long, Next week will be busy aswell, perhaps then the Boss will ask me again to work a extra day, my answer? 

I'm not sure yet, I don't want to make it a habit to work every week a extra day. Working three days a week is actually enough for my me and my body, with four days I start to worry. No, three days is the limit. A extra day when it's extremely busy? yeah, that's okay, but that's it. I was tired after work, a tiny bit out of breath and dizzy, it's been enough for today, rest is what I do the coming days.

Short weekend ahead!

Short weekend ahead!

I will be working a extra day tomorrow, and I'm a tiny bit worried, lol. Though I always said to myself that I would like to try four days instead of the regular three days I work usually. We are busy at work, and my Boss came up to me in the morning for asking me a favor, 'working a extra day tomorrow.' Well I refused already a few times, so I agreed, I will work a extra day. My mind went automatically on 'tilt,' lol. I will have to take it easy today when I have to work a extra day tomorrow. But that didn't work out that well, like I said, were busy and we have to get things done on time. Though I know what to do, listen to my body, instead of listening to my mind for a change. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.

I have to though, giving a 100% at work isn't that easy with a not working thyroid. My thyroid isn't working anymore, I have medication what has to do the job of the thyroid, "that," ofcource won't work for 100%. My old Doctor told me once, (when I was struggling with 'what can I do and what shouldn't I do, etc, etc) "Do what your able off and very important, listen to your body!" That line has always been my motto since I heard it, though it's not always easy, but it's a must. While doing my work I start to get excited and motivated alot, it's all in my head. Sometimes my mind goes, "go, go!

But my body goes, "hey wait a minute, slow down!" After being diagnosed in 2003 with a sick thyroid until now, I'm pretty sure what I'm able off, the extra day tomorrow will be tough. I will have to take it easy, and rest is a must this weekend. Lol, I already made a little agenda what I still HAVE to do and what not this coming weekend. Friday: Working from 7:30 until 4:30, afterwards shopping for a easy Friday's dinner. (Probably soup) After dinner, shower, rest!! Saturday I will have to finish my 'Objection' letter for Social Services. I wrote it already, still I need a envelope, a stamp, a copy of the letter and then post it. Then it's time for groceries for the upcoming week.

Afterwards cooking a simple dinner and then rest! Sunday is mostly a rest day, though In need to wash my working clothes and iron them, easy. It will be a quiet weekend with lots of rest. The little agenda made it easier in my head, I don't make a agenda that much though, only when there's ALOT to do or when it's busy in my head. And that's rare, but when it happens, a agenda is a relief.

Social Services! Sigh!!

Social Services! Sigh!!

The appointment I had today with Social Services was one with a big sigh, I had to be there cause I asked for a appointment. Social Services stopped my monthly income since the 1st of May, cause on that day I signed my contract for work. It's a normal procedure otherwise I would be above minimum wage if they kept paying me. I had to inform them cause of my new job, I was nicely on time with the informing. But... Social Services weren't able to look trough my 'informing' on time, and getting it 'done' one time. And because of  that I will have to pay back my monthly money from the month May......... Just because 'they' weren't getting it done on time? Yes! Plus top on that, I'm still in the middle of paying a loan back what I asked for last year in August.

I asked Social Services for that loan cause I needed furniture and other important stuff in my new house. Ofource I have to pay back that loan, in terms. They kept a sorta sum of money of my monthly income to pay back 'that' loan. Since the income has stopped nothing has changed on that 'loan,' upcoming September I will get a mail from Social Services how to pay further in terms. Now, the reason I made a appointment is that I want to know how much I already payed from that loan, and I asked if I should do a 'objection,' cause that's possible too. A 'objection' is if or when your not agreeing with what was written in the letter from Social Services. I will have to write them a letter why I'm not agreeing, plus a date, my name and my autograph.

Well I'm not agreeing with that Social Services wasn't on time with working trough my 'informing,' cause of that and them I will have to pay back a big sum of money. I''m usually not good with they 'objection' thing, it's a lot of work and alot of stress, (I'm already thinking ahead, lol) and probably Social services will refuse my 'objection' anyway. Though, I'm gonna do it, the lady where I spoke with today at Social Services said it too, "You should do a 'objection,' a 'no'you have already, and a 'yes your right' you can get." I'm not good in writing a letter, I will have to keep it short and firm. But I'm gonna do it! The appointment went well, the lady was nice. She told me aswell what I already had payed from my 'asked loan.' "Keep an eye on the already payed loan," she advised me.

Just another day at work...

Just another day at work...

There's not much to say toady, nothing new, only that the weather was a bit cooler, loved it! So much nicer working with low temperatures, better then the heat from the last days. Though it's still warm in the houses, the warmth will slowly fade away aswell in the coming days. Work was good and went good, I worked nicely and achieved alot with success. I can't believe that in October my half year contract is over, my Boss told me while signing the contract in May that I don't have to worry about October. She told me, "If or when you continue the way you work now, you don't have to worry about that 'half year contract.'"Though it worries me a tiny bit, will they give me another half year contract? (Ofcource, no worries said the Boss, right?) Or will they say, "Sorry but we can't continue further with you." I doubt it...

I'm doing my best like always, I work hard (What I'm able off) I like my work, I like the work what I'm getting, (the more the better) I like the people where I work with, etc, etc, I can continue. It's such a good feeling that I love my job, you can see it on me while I'm working. In October they will probably have another talk with me, perhaps asking me how I'm doing and if I still like my work, answer: yes!! I hope they (the Boss) just come up to me while I'm working and tell me, "Oh hey, we want to continue with you, can you sign here?" They can extend my contract three times, after that they have to hire me for good. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Getting used to the first day at work after being three weeks off...

Getting used to the first day at work after being three weeks off...

I was in a hurry this morning, Facebook statusses and comments held me up lol. I was preparing myself for work and was eating at the same time, gladly I took off in time. I dislike leaving later, even when it's five minutes later. I don't even have to be! I always leave for work between 6:55 and 7:00 am. It's a little 15 minute drive, So I will be there around 7:15 am, work starts at 7:30 am. I like being on time, so I can sit aswell before work and perhaps chat with the other fellow workers.

It was again a warm day, I was wearing short working pants at work. I had to get used to the daily rhythm again, getting up early, start working at 7:30, it was around 11:00 I think when I got a bit used to the heat and the work. Exhausted but satisfied after work, nice to see how every fellow worker had a bit of a sun tan, lol. After work I jumped under the shower and got myself ready for the free dinner, shower was needed with the heat from today, otherwise I would have skipped it for later tonight.

At the free dinner we had a nice fresh pasta salad, I ated two plates, what I normally never do. I was hungry! Went to bed early cause of tomorrows work, can't believe our next holiday is in December (Christmas) Though I still got 15 off days, I got them for free and they have to be done before 1 January 2013. I will do my best.

"Sugar fest, happy Eid!"

"Sugar fest, happy Eid!" 

I love watching the 'Eid,' it's interesting to observe how they pray and how everything about this Eid is so important for them. It's addicting to see how close they are to their religion, perhaps even more then any other religion. Here in Holland we have Muslims aswell (ofcource, which country doesn't have them) I experienced once or twice a Mosque in Canada and I loved it. here's a little story about that time... 

 

The Friday prayer.....

 

20 March 2010. 

I went there with a bit of a mood, cause I was a bit upset over the kids, it was about there rooms. I just don't understand why they could make such mess and just leave it there. And then the question "Do we go to the prayer or not? And if we go, what time?" There were two prayers, one at 1:00 pm and one at 2:45 pm, it was already 12:25, and there was still no decicion. Suddenly 12:40 pm, "Alright! let's go," said Saf, and of we went (grhhhmmpppff) Decent clothes on, Tas, Noor and Saf wearing scarves. (that was a different experience) Noor looked pretty with a scarf. Arriving at the Mosque was good, I was more then ready, I felt special and felt honoured, a bit of a loner aswell, cause I was the only white guy, LOL!

And yes! there were staring at me, but not with bad looks, just like they ask themselves, "Oh, he's definitely not Arabic." After we took of our shoes, the women and the men got separated from each other, I was with Saf's friend Son, Bas, he was the one who leaded and explained things with the whole prayer. I looked around sitting there and it was awkward to see all these Arabs with some of them special clothing, it was interesting to watch. In front of me a Father was praying with his two little sons, the Father did his prayers,(bending down, kneeling, standing up, etc, etc.) And the two little sons were right beside the father's long legs, adorable to watch! And there were more fathers with there son or sons. 

 

One Father had a little son with him and while he prayed, the Son was all over him, but the father didn't do a thing, not a word, he was deep in his prayers. It was time for the Iman to speak (thank God it was in English) He was a okay speaker. Some stories the Iman told were absurd and unright. The imam accused the parents of an 18 year old boy that was beaten up by a gang and then thrown from a bridge onto the highway, he accused the parents of being the ones who murdered their son for not teaching him what sort of friends to hang out with. I pray that the family was not present at this prayer. Absurd! The Prayer we did went good and that was all what it was about for me, the prayers! 

 

 It's so different for a Chatolic to see how Muslim's Pray, how closer to God can you be?! They do all this things just to worship there God and to Pray, I like that! The Chatolic people Pray aswell but not so tense as the Muslim's, I don't Pray that much but if I had to Pray then I would rather Pray as a Muslim. After the Jumma Prayer we went Home or atleast we tried to, LOL! The shoes I couldn't find my shoes, there were so many! And one woman fainted and the ambulance came, that all was holding us up. Although all that I would like to go next week again!

On with the Sunday, the 19th of August 2012. It was extremely hot, oh yes, more then 35 degrees (Celsius) I didn't went outside, I relaxed and rested for tomorrow's work. Layed my working clothes ready for tomorrow, and made lunch for tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a bit cooler then today, thank god! This is insane, you can't do much on such warm days. Work tomorrow, yay, I'm really looking forward to it. See the other fellow workers again and making lots and lots of mats.

Day at the beach!

Day at the beach! 

Just like last week I planned to go to the beach, but this time the weather was so much better. Extremely hot though, more then 30 degrees. Clear blue sky and hot!! Last week was just 24 degrees with here and there a dark cloud, I ended up in the sauna near by. But not today, today was good and busy at the beach. It wasn't really a beach though, you can compare it with a huge round lake, with here and there some sand beaches. The place is called Bussloo, right in the middle of Holland. I live in the East of Holland, I took me a bit more then a hour to get there. I took the train and spent five minutes in the bus. 

At the train station...

A coffee a day....

Around 12:00 I arrived at Bussloo, I spreaded my beach towels, and layed down in my swimwear. After a few hours I needed to spread my legs so I went for a little walk. I took several walks cause it was just TO hot to just lay down. The sun was shinning fully, thank god I had sun scream with you. Many went in the water aswell, but I don't know, some say the water was cold and dirty. So yeah, that's a no then. I rather swim in pools. It was 5:00 pm when I decide to leave. I couldn't the sun any longer, a few sunburns hatted me aswell. I took my dinner at Bussloo, french fries and a frikandel, (Frikandel? A frikandel is a Dutch snack, a sort of minced-meat hot dog)

Clear blue sky today!

Horses close by the train station, in the sun burning warmth.

 Just before coffee time (8:00 pm) I arrived home, exhausted but it was worth it. I took a fresh shower and relaxed afterwards. Tomorrow even warmer!  Over 35 degrees, I will stay inside and chill. Getting things ready for Mondays work aswell. 

One more weekend to go!

One more weekend to go!

And it's gonna be a hot one, more then 30 degrees. Tomorrow I will go to the beach, I keep saying beach but at a beach you can see the sea to right? I don't know actually, maybe I should say lake or mere or pond. The lake I go to is called Bussloo, it's a recreation themed park with a huge lake. I'm sure it's gonna be busy tomorrow, I leave just before noon with the train, I will have to switch between train and take a bus afterwards. Lots of work and traveling? Naah, it only will take me an hour, that's all.

Today was warm aswell, so I took it easy. Well easy? I went to my Dad, (second time this week) I brought him a picture of me. The picture was taken a year ago in Canada, I could have kept it here but I didn't know where to hang it. So yeah, I gave it to Dad. He was happy with it. I did some cleaning up aswell there, Dad has alot of old post and silly gadgets from the mail what could go, cleaned up the flowers and throwed away some old fruit. Afterwards I did my groceries for the coming week, surprisingly I didn't need that much.

I'm looking forward to upcoming Monday, work! These three weeks of vacation is more then enough, and yes, it's definitely a must to go on vacation (for me) with the Summer holiday. Otherwise I would have been bored, I had a nice vacation for sure. Berlin was great!!

Thursday!

Thursday! 

You can compare this day with yesterday, not much to do, here and there I did something. Resting a bit for the weekend and for next week's work. I finnished the hallway painting, not totally but just the window and door frames, so happy that that's behind me. It was so much work, the painting and getting rid of the paint on the windows. I still have to paint the doors and a few things more but that can wait, I'm not in a rush.

So many door and window frames in the hallway. 

This was just the first day, the first layer is added. After the first layer I had to add two layers again. 

So happy that the hardest part is done now.




















Tomorrow will be a full day, I will visit Dad again, I got a nice picture of me for him. Groceries has to be done aswell, groceries for the coming weekend plus for next week. I think the shopping bag will be full. Planning to go Saturday to the beach, it's gonna be a warm, no wait, a tropical warm hot weekend. Just a few days of holiday left and then it's back to work, it's fine with me, three weeks of vacation is more then enough.

Good news from taxes

Good news from taxes.

.It was to hot to do anything this Wednesday, 27 degrees, now it's hailing while I'm writing this post. Would love to go for a short walk now, but naaah! Tomorrow it will be a bit cooler, then Friday and the weekend tropical weather. Last week I have been painting the hallway, still it's not done. Only the door and window frames are done, now it's only the doors what I have to paint and a few things more. Everything on time though, tomorrow I will clean the paint from the windows. Oh! And some good news today aswell from taxes. I got my Health care benefit back plus my housing benefit. What a relief!! It's been really a struggle to get this done, but I managed it.Here's a reminder... I went to the taxes office a little month ago cause taxes stopped all of my benefits. There I found out that 'they'stopped my benefits not because I have a job now, no! But because my income over this year was more then a million!! Woot! LOL! A few months ago I had to inform taxes cause I got a job. Taxes wanted to know what my income 'now' was since I got that job. 

I could have done the 'informing' online trough my own taxes account. It was quit a puzzle, but I managed it. Though I filled it in wrong! "And now?"  I asked the lady behind the desk, she told me that that was easy, "Inform them again, do a new filling in on your taxes account, fill in what your income will be over this year," Yeah, that was all, taxes will get the right sum of my income and will confirm this within 6 or 7 weeks. (taxes in Holland are always slow) "And the BIG sum of money I have to pay back then?" I asked the lady. "As soon as I get a second mail from taxes with the options how to pay them back in terms I can already pay them one little term. She replied, "You will receive that money back as soon they confirmed your new income over 2012. Okay, sigh. I needed help with the new filling in, so I asked the lady to help me. "No problem, we are open until 5:00 pm," she said.


The filling in went all good, and I didn't have to worry about anything further. No worries about the big sum I had to pay, (I had to pay all the benefits back from the year 2012)  I will NEVER make that same mistake again, again I'm relieved that that's behind me.

Happy 75th Birthday Dad!

Happy 75th Birthday Dad! 

Dad was in a good mood, he was really looking forward to his birthday today. We were with ten people, me included. I left at 12:30 my home and arrived in Dad's place around 1:15, I bought a few plants for him, plants are always good for a birthday gift for Dad. He got lots of them. Dad's two Brothers were there and his Sister, two of my Aunts were there aswell plus two of my Nephews. The weather was nice so we sat outside, I was prepaired for some sarcastic comments over me, but those comments weren't  that much. Just a few, like, "Your not coming that much here, your not used to do this," said my Aunt when she putted Dad in his wheelchair. Or my uncle saying, "You could have owned a villa if you wouldn't have gone to Canada." Well, my time in Canada was more worth then owning a villa. 

But further it was a nice being with each other, there were jokes aswell from all of us. Even my Dad joined in, he still got it! Yeah he said some clever things aswell, we sure weren't used to that, good for you Dad! At 5:00 the party closed, Dad enjoyed himself, I could tell. I had a nice picture for him of me, though I forgot it to bring it with me. Friday I will return with the picture. On my way I decided to go to McDonald's, I pass it when I ride my way home. Though on my way I bumped into an old friend of mine, his name is Frans. He used to be friends with me and spend alot of time together before I went to Canada. When I saw him I had to look more then twice, I thought, "Is it really him?" I think we talked more then a hour, we haven't seen each other in three years. It was nice talking to him, he promised me a visit.

Monday, monday!

Monday, Monday! 

Gorgeous weather this week, specially this upcoming weekend. On Sunday we will have thirty degrees, just a bit to. This Monday was so, so, I went to social services and that went quit well. The lady behind the desk was a  bit vague when I her asked how much I still have to pay for my loan (The loan I asked for last year August for my contents), or how much I already payed of of that loan. The lady had to call bookkeeping a few times, and she sighed a few times. The ones she were calling with didn't really corporate, she wrote down what I already had payed, and that was it. 

It wasn't really clear for me, even not after she explained. She agreed with me aswell that this isn't very clear. She offered me to make a appointment, and I thought, "Yes, that's what I need." I looked behind me and saw already a huge line up. I was pleased with the appointment she made, 22 August, 1:30. I will be there! I like things being settled. Tomorrow is Dad his birthday, the weather is nice, so I think I will hop on my bicycle. Just a 45 minute ride, I will take my time. On my way I will buy a nice gift for Dad. I am sure I will find the right gift. 

Productive Sunday...

Productive Sunday...

I putted a second layer of paint on the door and window frames in the hallway, that went alot easier then the first layer. This new paint I bought was expensive and had a thicker layer, the first one I bought was a cheap one and was so much thinner. Perfectionist as I am, I will put here and there a new layer on tomorrow afternoon. Tomorrow in the morning I want to go to social services, to get things settled. Social services is known here as lazy and has lack of giving attention. Last Friday I went to Social services aswell to get things settled, but they told me when I asked for a anointment that they don't do appointments on Friday, I had to come back on a Monday, or on every day from 9:00 untill 12:00, but not on Friday. I have to pay a amount of money according to social services, and that's actually right, but the way the handled it is not right. 

That's why the visit tomorrow, aswell I still pay for a loan what I asked at social services. About that loan, I still don't know what I already have payed or how much I still have to pay. Lack of giving information! Tomorrow I will know more... This upcoming Tuesday it's my Dad's birthday, 75 years old! He's giving a small party with family and relatives, I'm looking forward to it, but aswell I'm a bit anxious. The uncles and Aunts from my Dad's side aren't always that nice, sarcastic aswell sometimes, smeary comments. Lat year I skipped my Dad's birthday too, just because of the Family, afraid of if they would start about 'Canada.' This time I will come, I will stand above it, "if" they start. When it gets to much I will stand up, turn around and leave. One more week of vacation, I think it's also enough though, 3 weeks of vacation. I had a very nice vacation! 

Dave Gahan- Miracles- Hourglass.

Weather forecasts......... sigh!

Weather forecasts......... sigh! 

Yesterday I decided to go to Amsterdam, cause the weather wasn't going to be that good as they forspelled earlier. Though later in the evening the weather man for spelled perfect beach weather, then I had doubts. Will it be beach or Amsterdam? I can always go another time to Amsterdam I thought, so the beach it became. I grabbed my travel bag, towels, slippers, food and fruit and a few things more. I was wearing shorts and a trainings jacket (long sleeve) it still wasn't that warm yet, clouds appeared aswell. "It's still early," I thought. When I arrived at the beach I could have guessed it that the weather wasn't that good for beach weather, still cloudy and a chilly wind, on the beach itself weren't many people, I already told myself in the train, "If or when the weather stays that way, I will go to the sauna." The sauna is near the beach. Actually right next to it. I walked around the beach and decided to go to the sauna, the weather was rubbish. (Grrr!) 

At the sauna waiting for the little bus.

The entrance of the sauna.

The sauna was busy, I never seen there so many cars in the parking lot. The visit to the sauna was good, though I would love it to have someone with me. I have been here before, this sauna is huge and there's not many people I know, many cabines and many baths and showers. Within two or three hours I was done, I felt a bit dizzy aswell, I had enough. I took a long rest in the sauna's garden. Afterwards I took a shower andwent for the second time to the beach. The weather was better and I layed myself down. Still not many people but 'oh well,' I enjoyed it. Around five I went back to the sauna to get the little bus to the trainstation. At the train station the sun really bursted out now, (damn, why now? And not this morning?) A bit dissapointed I took the train towards home, the sauna was expensive aswell, and in my eyes not that really worth it. Perhaps it would have been better if I went to Amsterdam.

Exciting week ahead.... Dad's 75 Birthday, gotta think of a present. Thursday is the day. 

City trip or to the beach? Sigh...

City trip or to the beach? Sigh... 

I would like to go out tomorrow, but haven't decided yet what to do. Later on the day I decided to do a city trip to Amsterdam, Amsterdam is nice to visit, and has lots of sight seeings what I never had seen. Though I would love to go to the beach aswell but for me it was still a bit to chilly today. Tomorrow's temperature will be a bit higher they said, but still, I don't know. So yeah, Amsterdam it will be, I thought. Until I saw the weather forecast again this evening, they for spelled just like I had suspected, warm weather, 24 degrees. (Hmm, I would rather go when it would have been 26 or 27 degrees) "Perfect beach weather," said the weather forecaster, damn! What to do, what to do. Going to the beach is cheaper, just a short train ride, then a short bus ride, and 'tadaa,' I'm there. 

No shops or stores at the beach. Still, sigh, I will decide tomorrow I guess, for now it's 50/50. It's been a okay day today, I had a mail from social services, They stopped paying me since May 2012 cause I have a job now, I knew that already in June from this year that they would stop paying me monthly. I have to pay a sum of money back, cause I received money in May from them what wasn't alowed, 

(not my fault) In the mail it said aswell that they found out that 'they' payed me to much from January 2012 until May 2012, they overlooked it. (Let's call it: them being lazy or lack of paying attention) I was on time telling them I got a job in May, but 'they' were being lazy in overlooking it and confirming. 

Either way I have to pay, in September from this year (they said)I will get the options how to pay them back in therms. In 2011 I asked social services for a loan aswell, cause of my so needed furniture and other special needs, (fridge, washing machine, bed, etc, etc) That loan I'm still paying aswell since 2011 monthly. I really would like to have a talk with someone from social services, a talk about how 'things'are going now, cause I receive almost no mail at all from them. For example telling me how much I already payed for my loan, or what I still have to pay. Aswell I would like a confirm that they stopped my income from them since may 2012. So, today I went to social services, and they told me to come back next week, cause they don't do appointments on Friday. Sigh, well, okay. 

Monday it will be then, Monday morning I will know more. I like things being settled, and confirmed.

11 days and then it's back to work...

11 days and then it's back to work...

I want to have at least 11 sunny warm days before going back to work, lol. My vacation is going well, thanks to the trip to Berlin. Though I want to go out a few days more, perhaps a visit to the beach or a few city trips in Holland, The Hague or Amsterdam would be nice. I don't know what it is but 'History' and 's ightseeings' interest me more then ever, is it my age? I can walk trough a forest for example and go, "Oh look at the nice view." When I was young I would just throw a stick there or climb a tree. Yeah I'm getting older, LOL! I don't mind though, I enjoy it the fullest. 

I would like to visit Amsterdam again, I have been there so many times but, now I would like to explore more from Amsterdam. There's so much more there then just shopping and sitting on the dam or walk past the canals. Ofcource there are some more cities in Holland that I would like to visit, for example Rotterdam, or The Hague. But it could be aswell that I plan to go somewhere totally different, a zoo for example, lol. Yep, lots of of plans. I hope my sore troath doesn't mess up all my plans, it started this morning. Could be aswell from all the painting I did yesterday. Will see!

The smell of paint, yack!

The smell of paint, yack! Plus day 5 (last day) trip to Berlin.

I started with painting the hallway today, I started early. I wasn't happy with the paint, the paint was thin and the door and window frames were hard to cover. The frames surely needed a good painting, it's been a while since they did that. The frames were yellow instead of white, but they were white at first. It was a hell of a job but I managed, though it took me almost a whole day. But I'm not done yet, I will have to do it one more to get a real good covering. Looks already nice though.  

My idea is to do the next covering next week or perhaps this weekend, I will buy a good covering paint and some good brushes. The first paint I bought was cheap and so were the brushes, but it did the job. Pretty satisfied about it aswell, the most work is done, the hall way is the most work with so many door and window frames. The doors itself can wait, I'm not in a rush. It was nice painting today, the weather was dull anyway. This coming weekend we get warmer weather, hopefully I can go to the beach then, that would be great!

Here it goes, from Berlin back to Holland, day 5! 

I had a so, so sleep last night, I think I slept for or five hours, I can't even remember. I kept waking up and looked at the time, it wasn't even needed, I had my cellphone alarm on at 6:00 am. Maybe just a little bit of excitement of nerves to go back home, maybe it's an idea to bring my own pillow with me the next time, just to feel comfier. The pillows here were to soft, even when I used two of them. Anyway, around 6:00 am I got up, took a long shower and packed further my suitcase and travel bag. I turned on the TV and watched it until 7:00. Then downstairs for my last breakfast, I will miss it, lol, no! I will miss whole of Berlin, I'm sure I will be back. Breakfast was good and ofcource I grabbed some fruit and sandwisches with me for in the bus, lol. Alright, everything was packed and I was ready to go, I left the hotel room nice and tidy. Time to check out and wait until everyone gathered around, I wasn't the first one. 

Ready to go home? Yes, I mean, no, uhm!

I could stay another week though, easily! I like traveling, the further away the better. At 8:30 am we all sat in the bus, Gerrit and I again in the backseat. It was time to leave, weird feeling when the bus took of and I saw the hotel getting smaller and smaller. The trip back went a bit faster then when we were going to Berlin, probably cause of the downhill highway and the 'moving on' traffic, lol. Aswell less roadblocks and no rush hours. We stopped two times for a coffee and snack break, I was in need of a coffee. I bought a cappuccino, 3 Euro and 30 Euro and 30 Euro cents. deng! "I dislike German coffee, I didn't had any good coffee here, London was better." After a long, long ride with lots of views of electric windmills and valley's we arrived in Holland. With one of our stops I talked with a nice girl aswell, she was with another girl and was a part of our group. 

Lot's of valley's to see on our way back.

I liked her already during the four days in Berlin, but didn't really go after her. In these four days I spoke twice to her and that felt good. If this whole trip would have last longer... well, who knows. Though I was a bit nerves while talking to her, slightly afraid to say a dumb thing, or silent moments. (Reminds me of my time in Canada, specially the last two months) We arrived in Didam (village in Holland) where we left too, all buses gathered here. Buses who went to different countries, such as, Italy, Spain, France. All of the travelers from these buses including us who will have a nice dinner together at the meeting point where a restaurant is. This was aswell when I got back from London. Every bus will have there own table, I think there were more then 800 travelers, oh my. We (Berlin) sat at table one, it took a while when we all started with dinning, a few buses were late. 

I'll explain later....

Dinner was nice, we had french fries, salad, soup, yum! After dinner we all got back in our own bus, the same travelers where I started with (In my city Almelo) sat down in bus number 13. That's the bus that would take us to our Provence. (The east of Holland) We had a double decker and Gerrit and I sat in the backseat, I was quit nerves and and actually excited to go home. I think it's normal when your almost home you automatically get excited and probably nerves, I wanted that the bus driver went faster. THOUGH this bus driver was something, lol. He was slow and not even thirty minutes before Almelo he decided to stop at the gas station for gas. (Okay it was needed) First of he took long, very long with paying, after 20 minutes he returned telling all of us that he had to pay the whole gas bill by his own, cause the money machine didn't work. (Okay, pity and understandable, but... 

What do we have to do with that?) The bus took of again and not even ten minutes on our way the bus broke down, on the highway. Yep, the bus driver putted benzine instead of diesel in the tank! One of the travelers was already suspicious, he smelled something while the bus driver tanked. Benzine... So, all of us out of the bus, suitcases aswell, the bus driver took a while with knowing what to do, and decided to call another bus. He announced that another bus will come within a small hour, small hour?? Damn, I gave up the excitement, and just laughed about it, what else could I do. Some travelers waited patiently, and some called for there family members for picking them up. And the bus driver? He just stood there in front of the bus watching the other travellers. Must have felt ashamed, I don't know. After a small hour another bus came and brought us home, it was already late. 

11:30 and I walked firm towards home, I don't like our neighborhood when it's dark. Awkward feeling when I returned home, opening the door, putted away the suitcase and travel bag, and grabbed my laptop. LOL, addicted much? Naah, I thought first all of the pictures on my computer, then I'm good. Funny that I still heared Gerrit's voice and his dry jokes in my head, yes, I shook his hand and wished him well, would be nice to see him again, he lives near, though in another city. I stayed up until 1:45 am.