"Silince is golden,when you can't think of an answer."

"Silince is golden,when you can't think of an answer."

I wish there was less smoking people at Humanitas, sometimes I feel left out, lol! Now, there is one smoking section here in this building. My little room is right beside the big living room plus kitchen, and in that place it's alowed to smoke. Sigh? Yeah, sigh. I usually cook in that smoking area kitchen in the evening, it's comfy and always the same friendly people show up. We talk alot and make jokes and fun. The only thing what sometimes bothers me is that they smoke, when you have a bunch of 5 people sitting together who are smoking, you get alot of smoke. But that kitchen is aswell so close by.

And that isn't a nice smell when you cook or eat. Ofcource you can make the choice to go one floor lower, where there is the non-smoker kitchen and living room. You can cook aswell there, and eat your meal. The only difference is then, there is almost no one. No one to talk to, or have fun with. I spoke about it slightly with Humanitas, and they told me I should speak with the people who smoke, and tell them to stop for a few minutes while I'm cooking or eating. But,I don't know, I wouldn't ask someone to stop smoking for a little while in a smoker section. Maybe i'm not daring enough or I don't wanna bother them. 

Recently I hear alot of talks and gossips from the people who live here, and it gets me confussed. They talk about how Humanitas really doesn't do there business, according to them  Humanitas are  holding the residents just before there limit of 9 months, and then they suddenly help you out or not, just to get money. It's like they hold you on a line just to earn money. If you find a house soon while your here and you leave within a week or tow weeks, Humanitas wont earn money on you. I understand that Humanitas is a business and that they earn money from and on you, but in my eyes they help you out aswell. And if some people don't like it, you can change the things you would like to change, it's all up to you. Humanitas gives you a hand, but most of it you have to do by yourself.

They talked about Reha aswell, (The place where I work) A turkish guy who is staying here aswell, told me that Reha is just a day-activity and that's all. I had a long conversation with him last night, he told me that Fusion is much better for me. Fusion is just like Reha, but Fusion is a bigger company and has alot more people. They do things more professional. I talked about Fusion a week ago I think, I told then that Fusion looks more at the product they make instead of the employer, Reha is twisting that around. All these nag, nag,  talks makes me confussed and makes me think that I'm doing it all wrong. 

One thing the Turkish guy told me aswell, "Always understand that you are here for yourself, and not for anyone else." For example, if you have to go to Reha, but on that same day you have an important appointment, you have to go to to that appointment! Cause it's your appointment.(You might miss the opportunity for a place for yourself or miss some money you owned) Everything what you need to do to for, to get a job or to get a place for yourself , or for your income, THAT comes first! Not the work for Reha or Fusion. That saying I will surely keep in my mind, no matter what others say, even when you have a talk with Humanitas. 

Always keep in mind when the staff talks to you, or offers you something new, always think, "Is it good for me? Can I use it? Is it true?" And what else people were saying recently, all the nag, nag, talk, I don't mind. What I'm doing now feels good, Humanitas has a plan together with me, and I'm sticking to that. I had a appointment today with my counseler at Humanitas, and it felt good. Everything is going as planned, everything is going smooth. Ofcource It's alot of work but in the end it's all worth it. I'm happy how the things are going, you really have to focus on things. It's all good, cause the focusing I do keeps my mind aswell from other thoughts. 


Tomorrow is my third day of workin this week, I workthree days, Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Reha sent a mail off to Humanitas, saying they are happy with me, first I worked three half days,  now I work three whole days. Trough Reha I can re-intergrate to another job, a job what fits me. I need to talk with my boss then, but I decided that I'm taking it slow first. I'm building it up slowly, cause I want to end up with a job what really fits me and not end up having a job what will tear me down and gets me jobless again, like in the past. 


Working tomorrow means aswell early to bed, so watch out bed bugs here I come!