"One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time."

"One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time." 


What can I say about this day? I was looking a bit forward to it, but it ended not so, hmm, nice? The weather looked good inside from the window, but when I got outside there was a cold wind. I planned to go to the free markets in the centre of Almelo, it's only a five minute walk. I had shorths on and a t-shirt and the cold wind blowed, it was colder then I thought. The market was very nice, it made me think of the Canadian Goodwill store but then outside. People just sit on the pavement with a huge blanket on the ground, selling there stuff what they don't need anymore. It's all second hand, and what I all saw wasn't bad, it was actually nice stuff. I enjoyed it alot. 


But it was cold and I walked a bit faster, I planned to buy some grocery aswell. I thought, I will come back in the afternoon and take then my time looking at the second hand stuff. It was busy already and it will get much bussier later today. After I did my grocery and walked in my room I felt I needed a nap, and so I did. I was exhausted and slept for an hour, I didn't got up cause  I still felt tired and felt I could sleep the rest of the afternoon, I turned around and slept for another hour. (Wow!) I think I broke my own personal record taking a nap, usually I sleep for 15 maybe 10 minutes, and that's it. 

People sell there personal belongings on the street.

I stood up after the long nap and made some lunch, then someone knocked on my door. It was Frank with another guy, that other guy lives here aswell, his name is Daniel, nice guy! I didn't expect Frank cause (Funny thing happened last night) Frank wasn't alowed to spend the night (anymore) with Johannus during the weekend. Johannus asked for it yesterday with the coffee break, the staff told him, "No, not a sleep over,"  Johannus replied, "We will see." And Johannus picked up Frank in the late afternoon. It was around 7:00 pm when Frank and Johannus were getting to hear from the staff that Frank needs to go home after 9:00 pm. 


Angry faces from Frank followed ofcource, but anyway, at 9:00 he was brought home by Johannus. (hehehe!) So, yeah I was suprised to see him again today. Johannus picked him up this morning and now Frank asked me to come with them to the canal, just to sit by the water and have a few drinks. I though, ugh! I planned to go to the market again aswell, and like Johannus told me yesterday, he and his family would come too. "We already went to the market and now it's way to busy," said Frank, after I asked him, "Lets go to the market instead." "Oh well, let's go," I thought, so there were six of us, and it was okay.

Everything is orange decorated.

Me, Frank, Johannus and his 7 year old Son, Daniel, and Harry were on our way, Harry is the oldest with his 55 years of age, he's a nice guy too. We all putted money together and we bought a crat beer, I already had planned to drink not more then two bottles, what the others drink I didn't' mind. Although they drink/drunk alot more then me we all were having fun and had lots of talks. After a few drinks Frank started to get drunk and his behaviour was getting 'macho overreact.' It is not, my kinda thing, but okay. I knew already that it's going to be fine, cause Johannus had aswell other plans to do after dinner. He has to bring his Daughter back home, and perhaps Frank when it's needed. 


The talks were getting opener, or how do you say that, when alcohol is in the body... ah! I think you know the saying, right? I don't like drunk people, and certainly not drunk, agresive people I know and where I live with. I heard a few things what suprised me, what I certainly didn't know of. It was not a thing to worry about though, it perhaps makes clear why some people here act the way they act. I noticed that most of the people here have a 'not so nice' background, or a 'not so' nice past. Maybe it's the fact how they grew up, or in what kinda atmosphere they grew up. Bad parents? Bad Mother or bad Father? Abused? Father drunk, or Mother drunk? I don't know, but to me what I all have heard saying these last 3 months from some of the residents, knowing all that, there behaviour makes alot of sence to me now. 


I don't know if I should feel pity for them or not, I mean there all nice guys, but I can't change there behaviour. Or can I? Ineed to keep my distance aswell sometimes when I am near or with them, I don't want to get in trouble. I really blame the alcohol, it's like poison for them. Some of the guys where I was with this afternoon work with me aswell at Reha. You see totally different guys then, there funny and friendly. After 3 hours the crat with beer was empty and were heading back to Humanitas, it was only a 10 minute walk. Johannus invited us for a small dinner, french fries with burgers, nice of him. The plan was to go eat first dinner  and then back to the canal, and drink some more, Frank's idea, sigh! 


I knew already then that I'm not going, cause I know how it will end. I rather be somewhere else then, somewhere quiet with a cup of coffee, my room! And I'm staying with that. While having dinner we had laughs, talks and the kids played football, Frank was drunk (ugh!) and I so don't like him then, agressive, macho behaviour and loud. I started to know Frank two months ago and he was then a nice guy to everyone, where you could relay on. But now, I don't know, he changed, that's for sure, or is it that I'm now starting to know the 'real' Frank. Dislike! Blame the alcohol! The kids were still playing football but hitted a few times a window, and the staff came outside to have a little talk with Johannus, telling him that there kids have to be a little quiet while playing. 


Johannus understood and was okay with that, Frank was sure not okay with that and went mad. The staff was gone, and Frank began to talk with Johannus, he disagreed and was shouting and putted his angry face on. Oh dear, his language! Later on just for fun he broke a lamp, and kicked a chair. Blame the alcohol, even the other people who were with us disliked his behaviour it seemed. Why can't we have a good time and have laughs without alcohol? After dinner I stayed with them until they were (planning) heading of again, but now they were  not so sure that they would go again. Frank didn't had a place to sleep (cause he can't stay with Johannus) Johannus can't bring him that late if the plan was to have a drink again. Frank calmed down and called his friends on his phone, maybe they can bring him home after midnight.

More personal belongings to sell.

I helped with the dishes and Frank sat outside, Johannus, me and his girlfriend were talking about Frank's behaviour, "He's to agressive," we all agreed, Johannus told me that he will be responsible if something will happen, he will be the one looked at when Frank does something wrong. I told Johannus, "Frank can be the one who can get us all in trouble, he needs to calm down, I don't want to get in trouble because of him and because of you guys, that's why I sneak out sometimes."  Johannus replied, "I know you sometimes sneak of."  "Now you know why," I said. 


I went later on to my room, and Johannus joined me with his family, they were going to there room. "I'm sneaking of again," I said, Johannus laughed. An hour later Frank was brought home by Johannus. I felt a bit of a relief, I think I need to stand up more for myself and be tougher towards  the guys. I'm a good guy where you can have laughs with, they can take me as I am. I don't drink (that much) I'm not agressive and I like to be on my own so now and then. But being with the guys I like too, although if it's getting nasty or I feel it's going to get nasty then I'm sneaking off. I know what I'm doing and I will never get in trouble (knock on wood) I will be always on my hood.


This day wasn't that bad as it seemed, I had a nice time, but next year I will be going to the second hand market like I planned. I really saw some nice things.

"We wish Catherine and William much love and happiness for the future."

"We wish Catherine and William much love and happiness for the future."

Today was a royal day and tomorrow it will be another royal day, today was 'The wedding' where the whole world will prolly talk about, good or bad.  I saw a few bits of the wedding, the balcony kiss scene was the best. I had a bit of  'oh,' moment when William putted the ring on Catherine's finger, I thought, "Oh dear, the ring doesn't fit." I loved Catherine's dress, I think most of the people were expecting a bit of a 'Prinses Diana flashback' sort of a wedding, but I didn't see that. Anyway, I wish them both the best in life. Note to myself: I didn't even know that Prins William was seeing Catherine and that they were an item, and I didn't even know that they would go mary this Friday until last Thursday. I should watch the worldwide news alot more.

BUT! I do know that tomorrow it's Queensday In Holland, like always on the 30th of April. Queensday  is a national holiday in Holland. Queen's Day celebrates the Birthday of the Queen of the Netherlands and is supposed to be a day of national unity and "togetherness." The tradition started on 31 August 1885, on the birthday of Princess Wilhelmina. Since 1949, after the accession of Queen Juliana, Queen's Day is Queen Juliana's birthday on 30 April. Although Queen Beatrix's birthday is on 31 January, she officially celebrates her birthday on 30 April.

Queen of the Netherlands, Queen Beatrix.

Prince Willem-Alexander & Princes Maxim.

Queen's Day is known for its "freemarket" all over the country, where everybody is allowed to sell things in the streets. Other activities during Queen's Day are children's games, individual musical performances, and music concerts. The night before Queen's Day is celebrated too in most cities, and this is called Queen's Night. The largest celebration of Queen's Day is in Amsterdam, Queen's Night in The Hague and Queen's Dance in Rotterdam. During the celebrations as reference to the colours of the House of Orange Nassau, people dress in the colour, which is sometimes called "orange craze."(Thank you Wikipedia)

So yeah, there's alot to do tomorrow. In the past when I was little I would just stay in my own city or town to see the markets and playing children games, and watch the Queen's day on tv. When I got a bit older, I went alot to Amsterdam with some of my friends. It's huge there and the markets are cheap and it's such a big happening, and extremely crowded. After such a long day you'll be dead exhausted. Nowaday's I will take it easy and I will just see what I do, I might go and see my Dad, but I don't know yet. I have been twice this week in Nijverdal and to go again, hmm, I don't know.

Crowded orange madness in Amsterdam.

The famous Dutch canals in Amsterdam.

Queensday in Amsterdam.

Even pets have to believe in it!

I will for sure have a little peek tomorrow at the 'Free market' here in Almelo. I went in town aswell today and it felt good, it was nice being there. Ussualy I never stay long in town, I rather just do what I need to do and vanish. I did some grocery and I bought two little orange teddy-bears for Johannus's kids, plus I bought something for the musquito's. It's a sort of a screen what you can easily attach to the frame of the windows. I will attatch it tomorrow or Sunday, it's weekend tomorrow so I would like to fill both days. Sunday's a close neighbor of mine from Humanitas reminded me that we might make tosti's this comming Sunday, together with Paula my counseler, nice!

Oh yeah!! Totally forgot! I got my medication, Yay! I was expecting it would be a disaster, but, it went fine. It was a long walk though, more then 30 minutes. When I arrived I had to wait a little while till it was my turn, when it was my turn, I asked for my recepy and the pharmacy assistent looked and there it was. Although the adress wasn't right, cause they had still the adress from the summerhouse where I stayed back in Frebruary, the pharmacy  changed that right away. I pulled my wallet and wanted to pay, but they stopped me and told me that your healt insurance will pay for that. Wow! Ain't I a lucky man today? 

The walk back was another 30 minutes, but the weather was nice, still that akward feeling being in Nijverdal, my ol'town, I nearly passed the grocery shop where I used to almost daily shopped while I still lived in Nijverdal. The shop was a five minute walk from my old house, so easy then to shop. When Saf and Ab were in Holland we used to shop there to for grocery too, the people who shopped there found it funny and a bit akward to hear Saf speak english, but the akward feeling changed in a few days. It was a nice feeling that Saf was with me then, and was a part of my daily to do things. 

When I nearly passed that shop this morning, I didn't want to look at it, and not even want to pass it. Although I needed grocery, I refussed to go there, to many memories, I'm sure it would make me sad, so I avoided it. It would give that feeling of the ol' past again, that same ol' same ol' feeling, I didn't had such a good life before I went to Canada, being in Canada was much nicer, a family around me and much love, The shop would aswell bring back the fun memories I had with Saf while being in Holland. Maybe I'm over reacting, I don't know, but I know I will refuse to go shopping there again. Anyway, there are more grocery shops elsewhere, right?

...A little bit more rain, please!

...A little bit more rain, please! 

It's just to dry outside, although whe had some thunder and lots of rain last night, we still need more. (Hay fever is a pain! lol) I must be Dutch, always talking (and complaining) about the weather, Dutch people seem to start a conversation always with a bit of weather forecast or complain about it. Anyway, my hay fever is on red alert and I don't like it, but work was fun today. We had some laughs, me and my working mate. Just goofing around, and that's needed sometimes, it's alowed aswell. We worked on a wooden lounge couch for outside, atleast some part of it. It was nice work. When it's done I'll take a picture of it. Our boss had a little suprise for us this afternoon, she brough for everyone a meatball with bread and sauces, nice! I was full afterwards, cause they were huge.This day was okay, working does me good, but three whole days is still the limit. 

I'm tired now and feel exhausted, tomorrow I will feel and need my sleep and rest. I can continue though with doing things but afterwards I will be broken. So better not, rest is needed. Only tomorrow I will have a bit of a full and stressy morning, my thyroid medication needs to be re-filled. Last Wednessday I tried my best to get them, but the Doctor's assistant was doing a bit difficult. I couldn't get my medication only if I waited for five and a half hours. The pharmacy gives prescriptions only after 3 pm, and the assistant  needed first make a new file. (about me) and that would take a long while. I told the assistant that I will get them up comming Friday, then the medication will be for sure there and done, as the assistant promised me. Well, we will see, I really hope I get them this time without any stress, cause I need them. I have one more left... Good luck is what I need tomorrow...

I told you about the resisdent meeting from last night, and I promised I will write down some of the rules down in this post. Here they are....

New House rules 2011~ 

1) the personality of every resident living here will be respected . iedereen entitled to his or her own choice in life to fill. Every resident living here hass the right to fill in his own life.
2) The Humanitas building is alcohol and drug free!

3) Each resident receives (when entering Humanitas) a set of cutlery and crockery and linen package. these items you will get to borrow, damage or loss will be charged to the occupier. If you dammage these items from another or from your neighbor you will be charged for this aswell. 


4) Without permission from our staff you can not hang paintings or anything like that on your walls.

5) Humanitas is not responsible for damage and theft. We advise to lock your room door with absence.

6) It has to be reporded at the staff if you stay elsewhere more then one night or more.  


7) You may only with permission of the staff have a stay overnight visit. Visit is only permitted between 9:00am  and 10:00 pm. A visit  must be received in your room, use of other common areas is permitted but only when the other residents are okay with that. Act as a resident host when you have a visit. You are responsible for the conduct of  your visit

8) After 10:30pm your not alowed in other people's room, this is because of the other residents who might want rest or want to sleep. 

9) When there is a resident meeting you are alowed to be present. If you can't be present ask permission at the office and tell them why you can't be present. 

10) the staff is authorized to do a control room, this may occur without notice. We check on  hygene, suspicion of alcohol, drugs or weapons. Or other compelling reasons. The staff is alowed to ask the police aswell to acces to your room. 

11) If you cause serious nuisance within or outside the guest house and/or you show agresief behavior towards staff and/or residents, our staff is permitted to end your staying here . Aswell this will be reported at the police. an immediate rescission of Humanitas may be banned. The duration of this prohibition is determined by reference to the nature of the offense.
  
12) By the end of your staying you have to deliver your keys at the office and hand it in by the staff after a cleaning controle and a inventory control. If a resident leaves without consultation at the office, within five days your room will be cleared, also with unknown absence the police will be informed. Costs are charged by the resident, not surrendered or lost keys will be charged by the resident. The costs are: Cleaning your room 25 Euro, House-key plus chip 40 Euro (Each 20 Euro) 

13) Pets shall be held only with permission from the staff.

14) All the the rooms are non smoking. Cooking devices are not alowed in the rooms, aswell no waxine lights, candles or burned incence. When there is smoke in the room, windows open. To many false fire alarms will be charged to the polluter. Frying is alowed in the kitchen or outside in a deep fryer with thermostat, in any case in a pan of grease and oil.

There is still more... but that's for tomorrow...

"Tonight's the night."

"Tonight's the night."

Am I not to excited? For the resident meeting? I noticed I am, tonight's the night. It seems I'm the only one who is looking forward to it. I need to un-excite my self, LOL! This morning I went early out of the door, I told myself last night, first I will grab a cup of coffee with the coffee break at 9:15 and then I will take the train at 9:45. Well, I took the train 30 minutes earlier, just to get on time back. That's just me, changing schedule times. This morning I wanted to get some new (Thyroid) medication, cause there were almost done. I needed to go to my old Doctor in Nijverdal to get them, cause I still don't have a own Doctor here. Sigh!

I was prepaired, I brought enough money and setted my mind on long walks, cause it will be a long walk from the train station from Nijverdal to the Doctor and the Pharmacy. The train trip went fine and the long walk too. At the Doctor's it went not so fine, the Doctor assistants were being a pain. After asking them for a new description they told me that it wasn't possible, cause I needed to check my blood first. I thought, "Okay." After she asked me my birth date and year, she found out she had the wrong file from another patient. Fail!! She tried again to get my old file back cause they deleted everything just before I went (for good) to Canada, I asked for that back then.

She couldn't manisch and I thought to myself, "What on earth is she doing and why does she doing it so difficult?" In the end she told me again that it's not possible to give you just like that a new prescription, she  needed to make a new file, "Can you come back with all your data and other important stuff we need this afternoon?" She asked me. I said, "No, I don't have time this afternoon, I just need some new medication and not a new Doctor here in Nijverdal." She replied, "To give you new medication we need a new file first, and that will take a few hours, can you come back after 3:00 pm while I work on a new file, then you can get the prescrition at the Pharmacy." 

"I don't have much time this afternoon, and Thursday I'm at work, Friday morning is that an option?" I had 2 pills left in my room, so that was possible. "I will try it one more time to get trough this then you might get to pick it up in 30 minutes," the assistant replied. But it was a no way, I told her that it was so easy two months ago when I just stepped in here and asked for a new prescription. The assistants then talked to my old Doctor and he gave me a yes. I had to pay for the medication though, cause I didn't had a health insurance yet. And I thought it would go just like that aswell this morning, but no.

The asssistant replied, that it was such a long time since that last time. Well okay, I was done here, and told them that I will pick the medication up Friday morning from the Pharmacy. The assistant asked me if I had still enough pills untill Friday, I told them yes, just enough. "Can I be sure that I can pick it up this comming Friday?" I asked the assistant. "Yes, for sure!" She replied. Then I left, and thought to myself, "We will see." I really need them this comming Friday, I can't do without. I cross my fingers for Friday. I need for sure as soon as possible a new Doctor here in this town where I live.

When I came back there was the second coffee break and I had a few cups, I saw the kitchen was a mess. After the break I decided to tidy and clean the kitchen a bit up. Tonight at 6:30 the meeting will be held here, I'm still excited! lol! I made some lunch and went for a long nap, it rained and the room was cooler, it felt nice. 

The resident meeting. 

After the 'free'dinner, where I went with Johannus and his Family, there was the resident meeting. I asked if he will take the kids aswell to the meeting, he said, "Yes, what else can I do?" The meeting was crowded and loud, everyone was talking to each other, that made it that some people couldn't follow it, including me. Johannus's kids were loud aswell, his girlfriend took them away after 30 minutes. The meeting went fine, the points what botherd the residents we talked trough. And the staff talked about the new rules what they made today. I guess I was to excited, cause it was a meeting that I can call a bit hmm, let's say,I would have done it differently. 

It was to a bit of a mess, the set up was not so well organized. We sat all around 3 big tabbles, the staff and the residents kriss kross trough each other. I will tell you about the new rules tomorrow, cause I'm getting sleepy, lol. It's been a long day. I wasn't talking much, I'm not a guy who will stand up and say my thing, I'm not aa guy who stands on the foreground. Let other people do that, and that happend, thank God! The complains were right, and the staff promised to do something about the complains. But the residents thereself had to do something too ofcource, like keep the good atmosphere, don't steel from each other, keep it clean, and most of all be nice. 


In two weeks we will have a new meeting. There was so much talking, the only thing I said was, let's have a meeting again within a month, to see how it goes then, with the new rules and our behaviour. The staff agreed but made it instead of a month, two weeks.

Nits - The Train

A Dutch band called "The Nits." Recently I started to listen
to them again. There a good live band, the song you hear is
called "The train."

"April weather, rain and sunshine both together."

"April weather, rain and sunshine both together."

We could use a little rain, it's to dry, and tonight it seems like were gonna get some. Well, I hope so, it's already getting much colder. I was outside for a little bit after dinner, and the wind blew hard, and it was a cold wind. Today we had sun and warm degrees, 23 degrees. Tomorrow they forspelled 13 degrees, hello? That's ten degrees lower, guess I take a few sweaters out of the closet again. I had a nice day at work this Tuesday, it's nice to get away from Humanitas so now and then. Specially now when the nice atmosphere is totally gone, like today I heard there was some talk fighting again. One guy was shouting to Johannus's kids and another guy insulted again the new woman who just got here. 

Can't wait for the up comming residents-meeting, although some residents complained that it doesn't mean anything this meeting. A guy told me that I would be the same like last year, "They promise you everything, but don't do a thing," he said. We will see, you can write your own complains on a paper and hand it in at the office today. And I just did that, I'm looking forward to the meeting. Tomorrow will be a busy day aswell, pffeeww! I need new medications, so I have to go all the way to Nijverdal again, sigh! Not by bike but by train, I don't want the hay fever to bother me.


From the trainstation to the doctors will be alot of miles to walk, atleast a 30 minute walk. Then to the pharmacy that will take me atleast 40 minute, and from the pharmacy back to the trainstation another 40 minutes. I hope the weather is good one me, if it's dry I will happy. Long day tomorrow, but that's good, right? I hope I get the medication, I will ask right away for aa blood test. It's about time to check my blood for my thyroid, last time was in Mississauga, Canada, last year February I think. So yeah, it's time. 


Today at work I made a wooden sidetable for in the garden together with my boss, pretty big one too actually. It was nice to work on something and finnish it too. Today I had a evaluation 
to with my boss, we both had a piece of paper with written on it a few lines. For example there was written, "I can do my job well if my boss gives me an order," or, "I get along well with the other workers." There were more lines, atleast 15 or 16 of them, and my Boss and I filled each a certain kinda grade in after each line (Numbers from 1 till 10) After we filled it in we overheard each other, and I noticed there were a few differences. 


The thing what bothered me was the communication with other workers or with the boss, I'm just not a talker, I never been. I would like to change that though, The Boss diddn't mind that I wasn't that a talker, "It's fine, it's just the way you are," he told me. For example if there's a problem while I'm doing a order and I need my Boss to help me, and I see he's busy elsewhere, I rather solve the problem myself instead of bothering him. Cause I see it as bothering him. "I rather that you come to me, cause that's why I'm here for," the Boss told me. I had this problem many times in my past and still a bit, and not only with bosses. 


Another example, If I have a complain from someone, I rather go to someone else and complain about it to him or her, instead of going to the one who caused to problem. I really want to work on that, I wanna be more thougher and man up! I was glad about the evaluation, that way I could talk about my character and explain things a bit more. I could hear aswell what the Boss had to say about me, and how he thinks I'm doing at work, and maybe correct him in a few things, or not. Or just be suprised of his sayings, I liked it.


I'm doing well, but were still not there yet. But I'm on my way, there are a few things where I'm slightly worried about. I'm worried about where I'm going to live, I hope it will be a nice house in a nice area. I won't be precicly or how you call it, if I'm happy with what I get then It's all good. Next thing I'm  a little bit worried about is the contact with Saf, maybe the contact will fade away. It scares me a tiny bit, So now and then a little message from them or from me does me good, it gives me a good feeling. And what they further do is all fine with me. I really hope they have a good life cause they deserve it, specially the kids.

I really hope that I could see some of the kids one more time or perhaps two times, (specially Tasn) That would be nice, or would it be only in my dreams? Like I said, maybe it will all fade away and I will think about this in a half year differently. I doubt it though, cause these people have made such a huge impact on me. That's why I want to keep a little contact, I really don't see harm in such thing, and further we continue our lives in seperad ways.

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. ~William Shakespeare

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.  ~William Shakespeare

I like the quote above, cause it's true and it's the best thing to do. Although it's sometimes not that easy to 'love all' here at Humanitas, but I try. Recently the behaviour of some residents are quit violent and nasty, and all because of the alcohol. As you know Frank is almost every weekend invited by Johannus to have a sleepover and have a good time. I don't mind the good time, but recently it's all about drinking and making fun afterwards. As you know drinking isn't alowed here at Humanitas. First you will get a warning and then you have to deliver all your drinks, and with the second warning you will be banned out of the building for 24 hours, no mercy! 


Like I said recently it's getting out of hand with the alcohol, the guys are making alot of noise and it looks like there being agressive and violent. Fire alarms are being pushed, and nasty pranks are being played. Oh I'm such a tattletale! But it's only alowed here, right? I have been invited too alot of times, to have a drink and have a good time. I don't mind, to have a good time and have a few drinks. A few months ago it was just innocent what we did, Frank, Johannus and me together in Johannus's room and just have a fun time. Just sitting there and have a fun talk and make jokes. Nothing went wrong, but I have a rule with myself, If I had enough alcohol I will stop. Frank and Johannus seem to don't understand my rule, and try to let me have one more drink. But when I say no, it's a no!

Most of the guys here are though or act though when there with each other. I don't like it that much that though behaviour, it's not me, I don't act like that, it's not my character. As I see it it's allacting, they all want to be a part of each other, I see right trough it. I really like the guys, cause some have such a good taste of humour. When your alone with them, I mean under four eyes there the best buddies, but together in a group and they consume  alcohol the macho and though behaviour seems to level up more and more. Violent talk, nasty jokes, though stories, childish behaviour. I try to describe there behaviour but it's difficult. Last weekend I was invited too for a drink at Johannus's room, we sat outside tough. After that night I thought to myself,  "I had enough, no more for me."


Frank had already enough alcohol, but drunk more and more , Johannus was sober but planned a drink later, cause he had to drive. Where Johannus is, is his 7 year old Son too. Ricardo is his name, the one I play sometimes soccer with. He can be a pain sometimes, you can blame the ADHD. Johannus doesn't seem to care that much about his Son being with him so much , he told me once "He never listens, so why would I try over and over again." Frank would like be involved in Ricardo's behaviour and tells Johannus what to do with him. "You should give him a week with me," he yells. That's wrong in my eyes, cause it's not Frank's child. Frank knows this he told me, but sometimes he just can't look at it what Ricardo's Father let him all alow.

Anyway, after we played a game of soccer in the small backyard behind the Humanitas building. (being loud and shoot the ball many times to hard.) we went to Johannus's room, it was already late. A woman and another guy were invited too, I forspelled the worse and I rather didn't go,with them. But I went, cause they might get angry with me. (sigh) When we walked in Johannus's girlfriend was sitting behind the computer, the youngest one was sleeping already,he is 2 years old. What do you mean being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Johannus's girlfriend gave already a certain look towards Johannus, being not happy with the visits. Frank was drunk, Johannus had a beer, I took one too to not dissapoint them but surely it was the last one.


The woman was talking much and didn't feel comfy with the drunk Frank and tipsy Johannus and talked to me and walked many times to Johannus's girl for a talk. Ricardo (the 7 year old Son) was being loud and didn't wanna listen, it was way past his bedtime. Frank got annoyed, and told Johannus that if it was his kid he would have smacked him, like his Dad did to him, "That's the way you get respect for your parents," he shouts! Frank brings the smacking part story alot of times up since I know him. I don't like the smacking story, it hurts me, why on earth would you hit a kid? It's better to talk to the kid, tell him it's not right what you do, and if he doesn't listen then take him apart and have a talk again Or send him to his room, and have a talkmafterwards. Talking is way better then smacking or hitting, you don't hit a child!

Tattle, tattle.

The evening went on and Frank and Johannus made little jokes towards the woman behind her back, Johannus's girlfriend disliked it ofcource, giving certain looks towards the guys. And I think the woman noticed it too, but didn't wanna mention it, apearantly afraid of a conflict.The woman stood up and told everyone, "I't's already late I'm going to bed." At that point I saw my chance to hit the sack too and be out of the room. I stood up and told the same thing, "I'm going to bed." Frank offered me another drink but I refussed ofcource. A relief felt from my shoulders when I walked out of there room, I realized that I had enough of all this and will back down more often when it comes to invites. There are other guys aswell who stay in there rooms and do other stuff to enjoy them selve, beside being loud and drunk. And still they are good friends (hmm) with everyone, so why can't I? Right?

I'm looking forward to the resident meeting this comming wednessday, I really hope for new rules, tougher rules,rules with no mercy. This behaviour really got to change under the residents, I would like to have a peacefull atmosphere, where I don't have to hide for invites by some certain residents. And I think the alcohol got to stop, some have a certain kinda trick to get the alcohol inside the building, (tattle,tattle) they put the alcohol in the trunk from there cars, or they put them in the kids school backpags. (ofcource they don't let the kids walk with it) Another trick is to put Bacardi or Rum or any kind of booze into a pop or soda bottles, mixing ittogether with the pop or soda. Anyway, this got to change, the staff here noticed it that the atmosphere here is going out of hand, and I can see it too. I cross my fingers for wednessday. 


Second Easter day. 


This day went well, I'm glad though that tomorrow is a working day. There was just nothing to do here, nothing has been organized. The weather was good, alot of sunshine and it was HOT!  Johannus went out with his family and Frank. (ppffeeww) It gives a certain kinda rest when there gone, a relief. Johannus can be tough and rude, although it might be all a joke like his girlfriend admitss, but I don't like it that anymore, and more with me. Last week he has been called a few times in the office about being so rude to everyone, "It is the way I am, I can't help it," he says. When you talk to him alone he's a nice guy and he's friendly. But in a group he teases the weak ones.


On with this day, I spent alot of time on my laptop and sat a few hours in the sun. My counselor is here aswell, she talked to me a bit and I asked her if we had a appointment this week. She told me "No, not really, things are going smoothly." She asked me for a bill what had to be payed this week, she wanted to take care of that cause I didn't had time tomorrow cause of my work. Second thing  important this week, my throid medication. I really have to buy them this comming wednessday, Cause Thursday I will be out of medication. I will spend the Wednessday for this, maybe in the morning or in the afternoon. Morning is best I guess, so I can have a rest afterwards.

Happy Easter, dear bloggers!

Happy Easter, dear bloggers! 

My first Easter at Humanitas, and prolly my last. Cause there's only 9 months permitted, but some people here get longer. My guess is that I will have found something for myself then after 9 months, and I hope something nice and good. I woke up early this morning, there was much sunlight in my room, so I thought it would be already late. But it was only 6:30 am, I went back to bed to wake up properly, and afterwards I took a shower. I wont have to tell you that Sunday's are boring here at Humanitas, cause I told it before. Now we have two Sunday's, two Easter Sundays.

I have nothing planned, I will just let it come over me. I might check the internet for something to do these days, but it's only two days, I will survive. I wish the staff here would have organized something, but no, it would have been so nice. The weather again is good today, sunshine and 22 degrees. It's dry though, all the windows and car roofs are filled with green polls, hasjooe! not so good for my hay fever, the weather forecast forspelled rain this evening, I hope it will! A little bit of rain will do us good. Now what do those Dutch people actually do with Easter? What are  Dutch traditions with Easter? Well....

Easter in the Netherlands.   

Easter in Netherlands is very much like the rest of the western countries. On the Easter Sunday the city is very quiet and people are busy with the Church service (paasvuren) right from the early morning. Late in the noon, the Easter lunch is organized in the church that include boiled, poached or fried eggs, paasstol (a rich loaf of bread filled with raisins, nuts and marzipan, damn I forgot to buy this paasstol!!) butter flavored with herbs, ham, shrimps, smoked fish, particularly salmon or eel and sweets or chocolates in the shape of eggs or hares. Lamb is an exclusive Easter dish as it is symbolic of the death and resurrection of Jesus.

Paasstol!

Palmpaas.

On Palm Zondag or Palm Sunday children scour the neighboring farms to collect eggs for the Easter sports. While setting out for the task, kids carry a decorated stick known as a Palmpaas or Easter "palm". This stick is attached to a hoop which is covered with boxwood and adorned with colored paper flags, egg shells, sugar rings, oranges, raisins, figs and baked dough figures or swans or cocks. They also participate in the coloring of real eggs which are hidden by the Easter Bunny. Hunting for that was then carried out with great vigor. Eiertikken, is also a popular Easter game in Netherland in which people knock eggs together to see which breaks first.

Easter bonfire before...

Easter bonfire After...

 In the eastern regions of the Netherlands,(where I am) village folks light an Easter bonfire on some hill or high point. In order to gain a head start, people start collecting wood for the fires weeks in advance as each area tries to outdo each other by building the biggest bonfire. On Easter Sunday, families gather for the traditional Easter meal. The table is decorated with colored eggs and spring flowers and Paasbrood, which is sweet bread with raisins and currants, is one of the special foods traditionally served at Easter. 

Now, today I am secretly happy for some friends of mine today, and I'm not going to tell more about it. Just that I'm happy for them! Oh,I'm so mean... sorry about that!

The spirit of Easter is all about Hope, love, and joyful living.

The spirit of Easter is all about Hope, love, and joyful living. 

Just had some spare time to make a start with today's post, soon I'm going to make some dinner after my writting. Another hot, warm day, and opening a window is out of the question in my room.  It's possible though but I have to put up then with the musquitos. I will think of a solution these comming days.I went out for a little bit last night, me, Johannus and his 7 year old son and another guy. we went to a little children's farm. Across the farm is a park where you can sit and ofcource play football, otherwise the 7 year old wouldn't come, lol!

It was nice sitting there, we played some football and had a few drinks. After that Johannus bought shoarma-sandwisches for us, 6 huge sandwisches for 15 Euro is not bad. Although I have a hot room, I slept good and I slept a bit in. I was tired today though, felt exhausted and sleepy. I had 2 naps, and while waking up after the second nap I thought, I'm gonna sleep further till the rest of the day. But I got up cause duty was calling, the second half of the grocery had to be bought and I was in need of an icecream. The icecream was good but way to much money for such a little cup.

I had a tiny little dream last night, I dream weird and short, lol! There like 5 minute movies, and sometimes I can't even remember what I dreamed about. So, last night I dreamed about Tasn, I played with a ball with her, and later on I realized why she was here. She was on a short visit to see me, but I didn't saw Saf though. While playing with her I kept thinking that I have to hold her or hug her before she will go back again. I miss hugging or hold her. I didn't got the chance to hug her cause I woke up before I wanted to do that. Sigh! Today I miss you a bit more Tasn, mwah, I love you! I wish I could hug her one more time.


I totally forgot to say what happend to me a few days ago. While I was on my way to the grocery shop and past the libary, I saw someone formaliar, it was Arie! Remember him? The second day when I was back in Holland, (January) after I have been throwen out of the house from Jo and his wife. Jo and his wife were the ones who wanted to give me a place to stay for three months, but after one day they already threw me out. (remember?) Anyway, the second day I was at my Dad's place and was trying to find a place for my own. While doing that I was visiting some friends I didn't see in a long time, Arie was the first to visit. 


Arie wasn't home but his parents were, it was nice to see them again, but at the end of the visit they were a tiny bit rude, "It's better for you to come here not that often," said Arie's Mom. "You have choosen to go to Canada, and now you have problems, and we can't help you with that," she continued. I wasn't even asking for help, I just wanted to show my face. I used the computer there for a bit, not even 5 minutes, just to message Saf and other friends what happend after my plane landing. "it's time to go now," said Arie's Mom. 


And I went and decided not to come back. They were rude and unkind, I wasn't even planning to come that much. Now after almost 3 months not have showing my face, I saw suddenly Arie! My first thought was "hide." Then I thought, Where to? Ah, never mind." I spoke to him for a while, explaining him what all happened. He was okay, and I confronted him aswell about his Mom. Not that much, but I felt I had to mention something about it. Arie took it well, and the talk continued. Still I'm not planning to visit him and his parents, maybe in the near future. I will see, first I got other things to do. 


Again I went out for a little bit, this time with Johannus, and his Son, and Frank. We went to a friend of Johannus who likes to go fishing. We all sat at the water and Johannus's Son had his new fishing gear with him. A present from his Dad. Ofcource we had a few drinks with us, after 2 bottles I stopped with drinking. Watching fishing was fun, I had a nice time. Afterwards we went to Johannus's room, his youngest kid was sleeping and the other one was about to go to bed. Another drink was offered and Johannus's girlfriend was obliviously not amused  about it. 


Frank was more then tipsy and was talking bollocks, some other guys who were with us were loud aswell. I wanted to go cause I was tired and disliked some people's behaviour. Johannus offered me another drink and I said, "I had really enough, thanks." Still they put the bottle of beer infront of me, I drunk half of it, and toldd them all, Im going, I need my sleep. Another guy was going aswell, my luck. I dislike drunk people, and I'm actually starting to dislike that 'though/macho' behaviour aswell. 

Tomorrow I might take things on another level, I'm so not like these guys here, I wish they could change there behaviour. Being with alone, I mean under four eyes, man to man, there really friendly. But if there under each other they all start to act tough and macho. Ugh! But anyway! If I really one to be a good friend with these guys,I need to act with a different pose, and change my behaviour. Act totally differnt then I'm actually am, and I'm sure NOT gonna do that!