There aren't enough days in the weekend. ~Rod Schmidt

There aren't enough days in the weekend. ~Rod Schmidt

There are really enough days in my weekend, three days is more then enough. I really need to find something for in the weekends. Something to do, a place perhaps where I can go every weekend, where I can grab a coffee for example, or join a group of people. Otherwise I will get stuck in this 'lonely feeling.' I need to get out more, I'm searching but it's difficult to find something. I know there are a few things ahead of me these comming months, like a few courses and ofcource the trip to London. But these courses will be over one day and the trip to London aswell. I would like to find something where I can go to every weekend, like for example I'm going to work in the week, that stands. I would like to find something that stands too in the weekends. I'm sure I will succeed finding something.

Today I did what I normally do on Friday, there were two loads of laundry, I did one load and the other load I will do tomorrow. I did most of the groceries aswell, tomorrow the rest. I took my time while shopping, just looking around. The weather was grey and cold, it even rained for a few hours. I like living in the city, the centre is always busy and you see sometimes the weirdest people, I like to observe them sneaky. Sneaky, cause I don't like to stare at people, I'm sure they don't like that too, lol! While shopping I bumped into an old resident from Humanitas aswell. It was Henki, he was the one who helped me with the laminate. We had a nice talk and after that we continued our duties. I surely need to visit him more often, he's a nice guy. He still lives at Humanitas, and to visit him isn't that easy.  

Proccesing... 

Thoughts.... While I had a nap just before lunch I had some thoughts, I always think before I go to sleep. I think mos people do that, thinking a few thoughts before there sleep. Thinking of the the recent day, what has happened and what you been trough, or what the day will bring tomorrow. Or other thoughts, it can be anything. This afternoon a thought flashed trough my mind, I thought a short while about my last two months in Canada..... Again, I know, I really gotta stop thinking or writing about Canada....

Alright... Thinking up loud... Thinking about those last two months I realized that it was a huge overwhelming time what made me go bezerk. It was already busy in our huge house, we sure loved to have people around us, including me. Although it was sometimes just a bit to much. Then I would go for a walk or go to my 'computer/music' room, just to have a little quiet time, the first one who always knocked on my door then was Tasn, lol, bless her! Sometimes I grabbed the two young ones and go for a walk or a bikeride, that was fun too. I think it was July 2010 that we rented out our basement to a 30's year old Mother and her four year old daughter, on top of that a friend of Cle came living with us aswell. The overwhelming feeling went to much, and 'to' isn't good.

Imagine... A big family, five kids and two adults, a mother and a four year old Daughter,plus a 20 year old girl. We had ten people living in our house, although I loved having people around me most of the time, cause I was kinda getting  used to it having people around me, but this? I guess this was just a bit to much. I longed for the quit times when it was just Saf, me and the kids, just like we first met. Ofcource we 'all' had a jolly good time sometimes with ten people, lol, can you imagine? But just that sometimes, ugh! 24 hours a day all eyes on you, looking what your doing, commenting, although it felt like it. In the end I screwed already up before I made a little mistake, lol. The Mother from the four year old child was the worst, it felt like she wanted to control all of us. She was the cuttest, she was the nicest, she was the best, she was the partiest, she became the importantst person in the house, or did it fell like it?

Anyway... In the end it annoyed me, I should have gone out more, meet perhaps other people or find a job, yes! But I guess it was already to late, I felt already annoyed and wished she just would go. Imagine how it felt.  I wasn't happy with her sometimes. Like I said, the overwhelming feelings got worser and worser, I needed to get out more, but I didn't felt like it anymore. I wish I done it!! Saf and I had sometimes words with each other, last year December we had our last one, Saf and I broke up. I stayed for a month cause I needed to arrange a whole lot of stuff, all that plus the suffering and grieving  from the break up, plus 'the cuttest, nicest, bestest,  partiest, Mother' who lived with us and the rest of our family made it sure not so easy for me.And what do you get then? Mistakes, ignorances, missunderstandings, arguess, feeling left out, ect, ect. 


All that, but okay, those last two months happened and I struggled my way trough it. I must say that I had good times aswell in those months, I really had a nice Christmas, and the New Years eve' was fab! It was good that Saf's brother joined us with Christmas, I had a good support on him. Long walks and laughs did me good. Anyway, enough of Canada now, right? I think the time in Canada will always be a part of my life, and I'm sure within time I can only have good memories of my time there. I already have them, but some memories I would rather forget.P.s. Good days are ahead of me!