Time for a new post.
Not feeling much to write a post, but In my head I feel I had to, lol. And why not? Right? My 'new clothing style shopping' is going well, last weekend I had a good 'buy' while shopping. Last weekend I went out to Apeldoorn, Apeldoorn is about a little 60 minutes away from my city with the train. A hour further and your in Amsterdam, lol, but anyway, Apeldoorn it was. Apeldoorn is a nice city to shop, though there is not much to see when your looking for architecture, monuments and historical sight seeings. But like I said, new clothing style shopping it was .
The first two shops were right away a success, I visited 2 huge clothing stores where the price weren't that incredible high. And most clothing were on sale! I knew what I was looking for, so that helped. I looked around first but didn't buy what I actually liked first, I might find the same items for a much better price further in the city. I really took my time to explore the city and wandered around, there was a nice park aswell. The weather was good, not to cold and here and there a cloud. After a few hours and a coffee break I made my choice and went back to the stores where I went to first.
I bought 2 pair of colored jeans for 18 Euro, a belt for 3 Euro and a pair of blue suede shoes for 60 Euro. I had doubts with the shoes first , I liked them so much but the price was so, so. I thought, if I don't buy them now, I will regret it later. After my shopping and wandering around I returned home satisfied. A nice Saturday it was. Last Friday I went to my Doctor to get a paper to check my blood at the hospital. I knew I needed my hospital card aswell while checking my blood, but that card went lost in America, lol. But that wasn't a problem, at the hospital they made right away a new card.
I was actually surprised about that, but good that it went that way, the making of the card took only 5 minutes.. Today I picked up my blood results at the Doctor, normally I can just call for the results, but the Doctor would like to see me. The results were good! But even though they were good, I still feel not that well, a bit short breathed, tired plus I feel sometimes loney, feel like I wanna cry. Not always though, but just sometimes I have such moments. I think the impact of my trip to Jan has a part to do with that, I returned from that trip and I felt lonely and had it difficult with adjusting my life.
It took a while to adjust, but after a few weeks the adjusting went easier and easier. I think it might have to do aswell that I lost my last parent recently, my Dad. I felt okay and moved on after a month, I thought it didn't effect me. To be honest I still think it doesn't effect me, I had the same feeling when I lost my Mom, not much effects. But even though the effect can still be there somewhere hidding. My visit to Jan felt good, perhaps it was needed When I got back from that visit it hitted me right in the spot. Maybe I do need some more grieving, maybe I am grieving at the moment, or still grieving.
I know grieving takes time, some need a long time and some a short time. You can't really say how long that time is, grieving is a proces. Now I'm not saying that I'm feeling lonely and sad 24 hours a day, oh no! Like I said, I have my sad moments so now and then. It's needed, and they are welcome, even though it's not fun, lol. Next week a counselor will see me, he made a appointment with me a few months ago, he wanted to know how my trip was to Atlanta, lol. While being there and telling my trip story I can aswell bring up the 'grieving' subject. He's a nice guy and he's funny. It will be good, I have been trough alot the last few years, this is just a little bump in the road like everyone has. Such is life!
"When did you join Facebook, and why?"
I joined Facebook August 7, 2007. Why? Because in that time mostly all of my friends joined it, it was hip, it was cool. I had several friends too, though they came and they went, I guess that's a normal thing on Facebook. I think nowadays I build up a good and fine group of friends from all over the world, they have been with me for such a long time. I like reading what they have been up to or what they going trough in their life. Their thoughts, their opinions, just anything. Seeing my friends’ pictures, and sharing my own is what I like most about Facebook. Facebook is a pleasant experience and I do get a lot of global news via links posted too.
Though Facebook can get a butt addictive sometimes, I can leave it easily behind when I have something else to do, even on a holiday I can surely do without. I think it's good actually to plan 'one' day in the week or in the weekend to just leave Facebook. Just to see how your life goes on without it., Hey! It's only a day, you can always go back the next day, lol. Get off the lap top or computer or I-phone and read a book or go to sleep, or do whatever. Right now I'm at that stage where I actually thought about quiting Facebook permanent, but I couldn't. Why quiting? In my eyes I spent way to much time on it, I would like to lessen that time.
My use of Facebook isn't that funny anymore. Am I addicted? Yes and no, like I said, if or when I have something else to do I can easily let it be for a (long) while. But, I need to get out more, enjoy myself being outside, explore and wanderlust. And probably make as much friends like I have on Facebook, LOL! That would be something. And then invite them all for a coffee, lol. No seriously, I need to lessen my use of this social media, even though I love it. What about my friends? Now here's a question: "Most of my Facebook friends aren’t actually friends? They’re not enemies and...
It’s not that I wish them ill, but for the majority of them, there’s a reason we don’t associate other than on Facebook." Yeah, they're just to far away to visit them, that can make you feel lonely at times aswell. You just can't reach them, spend time with them, etc, etc. I visited some of my friends on Facebook trough the years, that was fun, Though afterwards it's back to reality, back to the computer. My last recent visit is still flashing trough my mind, that visit gave a deep impact. Being with friends where there was right away a good click does make you feel good, better then good actually.
When I came back from that visit I literally was thrown back to reality, I felt I was thrown in a deep black hole what I didn't expect actually. I felt kinda sad and I had to adjust again to the life I led. There was nothing wrong with "that" life before I went to Athens, Georgia. I liked the way I lived my life, happy single, going out, going on trips, having a good job. Perhaps the visit to Athens was needed, to wake me up, I don't know. I think it's time to be surrounded by people without any long distances. Go more outside, take my time and not rush things. Lessen the time on Facebook. Facebook sucks time from my life? Just a bit.
I will not rush to get my groceries, not rush things when I enjoy a coffee somewhere. It seems life is flashing by so fast sista, you gotta enjoy while it last, right? This week I realized that I needed this, and no, I don't spend a whole day on Facebook, but just, but it's better for me to close my computer a bit more. And no, I won't leave my friends, I'll be on daily but just not so often. This week I shorted my friend list aswell, it was funny and awkward at the same time, when I went trough my friend list I saw all the profile pictures and the name's, and I realized how much I like them and how much time I spend with them on Facebook.
Crazy isn't it? I can't just leave them like that, we have a bound, or how you call it.
New style! But how or where to begin?
As I get older.... Oh God, what a beginning. Anyway, as I get older I want to dress older aswell, uhm? Hmm, not quit. Perhaps I need a mix with the way I dress now and a bit more casual or more manly(?) I have been buying and wearing blue jeans (for example) for several and many years, why not something different? There's nothing wrong with blue jeans, but, after so many years why not something different. I mean I do get older, right? I don't want to be wearing jeans until I'm 80 or 90.
I have plenty of T-shirts aswell, all with a funny or with a rare print. I like them, but now as I get older, (lol!) it looks kinda... childish? If I think of it now, I already have a few T-shirts in mind what can go. (Some T-shirts have good memories, those one I will keep) I have been growing aswell, some clothing doesn't even fit anymore. Yes, I'm ready for a new style! Fall is around the corner, so, soon the Summer clothing will be buried up again. Time then to decide what can go and what can stay.
Today I realized that it's my Dad's birthday, did I celebrate it? Or, did I do something unusual with it? Hmm, not really. I thought about my Dad, felt here and there a bit sad and confused aswell. Feeling sad? Hmm, so so, for me my Dad is not gone, he's still with me in spirit. Always guiding me, seeing what I do and seeing what I feel, think or go trough. This counts aswell for my Mom, together there a great team supporting me. Happy Birthday Dad, hope you have a good one up there.
Sore muscles and two long days.
That were the results of two days of work, sore muscles and tired, lol. Monday was the longest day, though it was fun being back at work. As I walked in our cantine some were already sitting down having their coffee or tea, the two bosses were there too. Ofcource we all talked about our holidays, I heard Barcelona, France, Holland aswell, Bosnia, and ofcource Atlanta USA! I had quit a proud feeling about announcing to my two bosses that I went to Atlanta USA. The other fellow workers knew already I went, though ofcource they all wanted to know how my adventure went. I had to tell my adventure a few times trough the day, lol.
Though I told myself that whoever wants to know it, I will keep it short, though the truth. I have been trough quit alot and I could tell perhaps a whole day about it, but I'm not that good telling stories to a amount of people. I kept it short and firm, I spoke about my staying, my bankcard and my wallet, and ofcource the main thing, the meeting with the woman I visited, Jan. Ofcource I mentioned aswell the fun and excitement I had in Atlanta and Georgia, MLK, Georgia Aquarium, Centenial park, etc, etc. It's Tuesday evening now and I'm tired, tomorrow will be my day off again as usual.
The day of is more then welcome, work was busy and exhausting. Yeah, I still love my job, lol. It's so important to have a job, and a job you like. I'm satisfied with my income, it puts me in a situation that I can/could travel two times a year. Tomorrow I will start the day of with resting, the afterwards a bit cleaning and of to the city to do some shopping. Do I miss the days still when I was in Atlanta/Georgia? Yeah, I miss it, I can't really explain why. Was it the things I did while I was there? Or was it the time I shared with Jan? or with Jan's Family? It's a combine of everything, and yeah, Jana, she's... she's... (lol) Let me say, I hope we will meet again one day.
Time flies!
The day are flying by so fast recently, I nearly have time to prepair myself for Monday's work. Two more days and then it's back to the mat's, ofcource they will all ask me how my trip was, lol. I don't mind, and I know what to tell. I had a awesome time in Athens, here and there a few speed bumps, but most of all a fun and exciting time. Last Tuesday I went to The Hague for a few days, 3 days and 2 nights to be precise.
It felt a bit awkward to go, that feeling that I think, "Should I really go? Is it not weird?"
No! It isn't you silly! I'm glad I went, perhaps it was awkward cause of the fact I was on my own, and will be on my own while having this mini holiday. Since I started traveling I was mostly not on my own, I had many excursion trips, and in Athens I was with Jan and her Family, so yeah. Although alone, I had a great time.
I packed my smallest travel bag, (just a few clothing and bathroom items) and took of early that Tuesday. I love traveling, although the train trip took only a little two hours, I enjoyed it. Arrived in The Hague I was stunned whit all I saw, they have been re-building and re-storing this city majorly. And the're still building. I haven't been here since the 90's, Checking in went easy, the Hampshire Babylon hotel stood right next to the train station.
I had to pay 50 Euro on fore hand with the checking in, I would get it back later. That was unexpected, but okay, I would get it back. The room was good, big beds small room but perfect. And again a double bed, lol, again I could choose. I haven't slept that good though, I had to get used to the airco and my neighbors were doing the 'bunga, bunga' it seemed during the entire night. Sigh, sleepless nights but awesomeness during the days.
The Hague is a big city, comparing The Hague with Amsterdam, The hague seems even bigger. Lots of new architecture, skyscrapers and nostalgic buildings and churches. I went to the beach aswell, the beach is called Scheveningen, I had to take the tram to go there. Aswell there I haven't been for so many years. Here too they have been re-newing stuff. A longer boulevard and lot's of new shops and sight seeings aswell. Great time.
On my way back the airco was broke in the train, sigh, always something. Now it's back to work on Monday, for the rest of the weekend I will be resting and relaxing. Back to the same ol, same ol.' It's good, I will be saving up money for the next trip in December. What I actually didn't expect to do to be honest, I thought after my trip to the US I would be broke and I already made a decision to stay home the rest of the year, but no.
One last week!
One more week vacation, next week Monday I will be working again. Gosh, these three weeks flew by. Ofcource starting of with my trip to Atlanta/Athens, then resting and getting rid of the jet lag. And now I'm here with my last week. And guess what? I'm going to have a short mini holiday in The Hague, Netherlands, yes, that's right, a holiday in my own country.
I think it was my friend who pushed me positive to go somewhere, and I thank her for that! First I was like, "Hmm, I don't know, money, being tired." Now I'm just excited to go, I feel better aswell. It was quit a happening in Atlanta/Athens, I guess I needed my rest and come to myself. Yes, I still miss that 'someone,' but it hasn't got that 'bad or sad' feeling anymore.
I'm blessed with a good friend, and that feels good. The weather forecast for this week isn't that good, they for spelled rain on Wednesday. And me don't like that, but oh well, my mini-travel bag is packed, and I'm ready to go. The Hague is a big city, and the beach is near. It's been a pretty long time since I have been there, it's sure gonna be a nice little mini holiday.
Venting?
I feel different since I got back from my trip from Atlanta/Athens, it's like I'm missing someone, or something in my life, I don't know. But I do know it hurts. What's going on with me? I realize now that being alone sucks, but wasn't I alone for a very long time? Yes! And didn't I say several times? 'I'm happy single, though when someone would crosses my path I will stand open for it.'Yes! What has happen? Am I in love? Or is it just the fact that I realize finally that being alone really sucks. I witnessed lots of love and attention again, from a great family and a 'awesome woman.' (There I said it) I guess I always was and am a sensitive guy, and now recently even more since I got back from Canada. In Canada I was spoiled with attention and love aswell, but that suddenly stopped.
I miss someone, miss being with her, but why? What happened? I had a visit, I visited a friend for the first time, and it turned out to be a great time. Really... while being on my way back from Atlanta I felt somewhat okay. Then I got home and "Beng!" I hated being back! I was surrounded by people who loved me, we did several things day in, and day out. Always together and never on my own. Now I'm back home, back to reality where I ones was okay with, just on my own. I perhaps realize now that maybe it's time for someone in my life, (can I choose now?) The hate full feeling being back in Holland will eventually disappear I guess, and perhaps the 'missing someone' too. Life continues, as they say. What has God planned for me? Time will tell.
What was it what God tried to tell me while I was in the USA and now being back? It still hurts, specially in the mornings, (awkward!) perhaps it's that feeling when I wake up in the morning and realize that 'alone' feeling again what I had when I came back. As the day slowly continues I feel a bit better, and realize I have a good friend and that's ALL that matters. We all need good friends, but why do my friends live so far away? Damn ocean! I know there's no need to worry or to be sad about it, focus on life and what ever happens, will happen, right? It all will be good, I just need to continue with what I'm doing or what I did, pick up the daily things what I did before my trip. I maybe too need to learn to take control over my feelings, and not let them take control over me. I'm not worried, I'm blesses, it's all good like it always was and will be.
Living adventurous!
And he's back from his trip! I have been on trips before, but why is it so weird to be back home and why do I feel sad to be back home after this trip? Anyway, let me say it was a adventurous trip. With unexpected and unusual happenings, but I really wouldn't wanna have trade it for anything else. Meeting Jan and her Family and Friends was great, I felt comfy right away. The comfy atmosphere trough out the seven following days could not ruin anything! I witnessed that! I have seen alot, laughed alot, good food, friendly people, etc, etc. I'm home now but I miss them already.
Yeah okay, a few things happened, just a few, lol. But like I said, 'nothing could ruin the comfy atmosphere.' What happened? Well, at first I couldn't stay at Jan's place cause of her dogs. We tried the hardest, but no success. I felt so sorry for Jan, the situation dragged us both. It was a sad situation and we both had to find solutions for my staying elsewhere. Perhaps staying at Jan's friends houses? Or maybe a motel? It took us almost a whole day to figure out what to do, on top of that my bankcard didn't work, sigh! I couldn't get money in the US, although my card was recently activated for worldwide.
And we were already at a motel to check in, but no success with a not working bankcard. I called ING a few times, but they told me everything is okay, 'there was nothing wrong with my card.' In the end ING told me there was a virus in their system, later on ING helped me out and I could get money with my card, only that took a while. End good all good? Yeah, second good news was that I could stay over at Jan's son's house. Jan and I would rather have that I stayed at her house, but that was not an option anymore. We both had a long day after solving my bankcard and finding a place to stay.
Wow, and the many bugs and several other kinds of insects what I witnessed, I thought that was only in Africa or the rain forest. It was warm in Georgia, Georgia houses in the forest witness lots of bugs and insects, aswell other creatures, like snakes and scorpions, yikes! On Thursday I had again bad news, I couldn't stay anymore at Jan's Son's house, they were going on a holiday. Letting me stay alone in their house wasn't a option, it was back to the motel where Jan and I tried to check me in the first time. This time with success, I stayed for my last three nights in the motel.
The motel wasn't that far from Jan's house, only you need a car to get there. The motel was nice, friendly people and a great room, though this motel was in the middle of know here. I had good sleeps there, though it wasn't always a pleasure staying in that motel. Jan picked me up in the early afternoon for go out's and other fun stuff. I choosed for the afternoons so Jan could have time for herself aswell, it was all good. What a adventure so far right? Going from here to there and then the not working bankcard. And last but not least I lost my wallet on our last day together. Sigh!
We laughed about it in the end, cause we struggled already trough so many happenings together, we even joked about it. "What's going on with us?" I called ING once again to block my bankcard, a friendly ING guy told me that they will block the card and I will get a new card in a few days. I lost my old bankcard and a few other important (but replaceable) carts, aswell money, plus a second house key, and ofcource my wallet. I actually thought I lost it and already said goodbye to it, but!
On the very last day, when we were on our way to the airport for my journey back, a police officer called and told that they found my wallet. Woot! A miracle! Thanks to Jan who took care of the fact that a police officer would call if they find my wallet. Though the police office was closed, and we were almost already on the airport. My wallet will be send to my address in Holland, end good all good? Yes! Sigh, all these happenings didn't effect my staying with Jan. We had great and good times aswell, I met several friends of Jan, I met her Family. We all had several fun out's.
We visit the MLK Musea, Georgia Aquarium, Centennial Olympic park, and visited many, many more sight seeings. My visit was way to short, that's for sure. Though I seen so many things what I wouldn't have miss for any kind of gold. Been trough alot aswell, but, it was all good in the end. I miss the people I have met, specially Jan, it wasn't easy coming back to a empty, lonely house. I thought it was easy, but no. Now it's time to adjust again, hopefully I will meet Jan again, she's just the best!!
