"It's nice having a day off."

"It's nice having a day off." 

Specialy in the middle of the week, I feel good and I look foreward for all what will come ahead of me. The weather was good, just a perfect Autumn day. Sunny with here and there a cloud, red, brown and yellow leafs on the streets and woods, so nice. And it's not that cold. Althought the weatherforecast forspelled a very cold winter, they told this all will start already in upcomming November. Today I took my time,I rested but did aswell alot of fixing, just because I wanted too, lol. I made a start with the last bits of the laminate, what a work that is. On the pictures you can see what I have been doing, sometimes pictures explain alot more then words, it's easier to explain it with pictures with what I'm doing.                                                                            

 The tiny little strips you see on the picture called 'plints,' You can attached them in the corner to fill up the spaces between the laminate and the wall. It so much work though.

 Specially the corners are difficult, you have to measure and measure. And saw them in the right way. Some walls in my appartment aren't straight, that makes it even harder, but I will manage.

 You see the spaces between the laminate and the door frame? Sometimes you need to think as Einstein to fix this. I will figure out something.

I really like this corner I worked on, it fitted perfectly, just my luck I guess. Measured and saw it on the right way. My brains are still itching from thinking, lol.

I didn't do all of the rooms, I took my rest aswell. Hey, I have a day off, I need my rest too, lol! Oh, and my shower curtain hangs, pffeewww what a work. But fun work though, it calms me aswell. And further, well further not that much. There was the free dinner, wich was nice. There weren't much people from Humanitas, just one. He told me that the ex from Johannus got out of Humanitas cause Ricardo wasn't allowed in Humanitas anymore. I couldn't believe it, how on earth can you send a eight year old boy on the street?  Catherina went with his Son to a close friend of hers, she thought, "if my Son goes I will go too," it's just unbelievable. Anyway, I sent her a message to ask her what's all been going on recently. 

P.s. Just had heard from Catherina that Ricardo is back at his Father's.... What he actually didn't want. Sigh, I hope for Ricardo that this drama does stop one day, he doesn't deserve this.


Just before the free dinner I did some window shopping, I wasn't attend to buy somehting, but, I did. I needed some decoration in front of my big window. I bought two huge vases from glass, they are just plain not particilar colour. I needed two lamps two for on my wall, but I couldn't take a choice. The price was just a bit to much. I never buy to much in a row. Alright, I will have a a nice cuppa coffee now, I'm looking foreward for tomorrow's work. I realized today that when I had no money and I had to take care of myself, I could! I didn't need much to take care of myself, I got by. I think sometimes it's important to realize that you don't need that much to make yourself happy. I always had that...

Something about an old-fashioned Christmas is hard to forget...

Something about an old-fashioned Christmas is hard to forget...

Last year I had the best Christmas ever believe it or not, buying each other presents in the beginning of December, then on the 25th early upin the morning and gather all the bought presents. The living room fully packed with presents and Christmas decorations, then it's time to gather all around to un-pack the presents. Love it, it was the same a year before last year. Then too we had a house full of presents and Christmas decorations,  Family gathered around the Christmas tree to unwrap the presents. Such Christmas days I only had in the past, or something like it. Ofcource it was different, it was me, Mom and Dad. We didn't buy each other gifts though, we don't do such things in Holland. Just being together and have a nice dinner and afterwards or before we go to the church.

I know, I'm already talking about Christmas and it's not even December yet. It flashes trough my mind recently, "I would like something to do with Christmas this year,"  Cause I'm 100% positive that it won't be the same Christmas like last year. But I'm not that worried, cause it's all in my hand what I want to do this year with Christmas. Today I had the crazy thought of going to travel the last two weeks of December, I was told today that we at Slettenhaar have two weeks of this Christmas. So, I thought, why not go out! I have been searching a bit on the internet but oh my oh my it's expensive. I was thinking of going to London for two weeks but, geesh I'm not gonna pay over 1000's Euro's. Even one week was over 1000 Euro. I guess I can blame that it's the Christmas what makes it so expensive. Maybe I have to look a little bit closer then London. 

Last year Christmas in Canada.

I was aswell thinking of doing something with the old residents from Humanitas, gather all around and buy each other presents, and just have a jolly good time. Ah, I will see! It's not that I'm concerned or worried about upcomming Christmas, but I know that it won't be the same as last year. It will be lonely, but like I said it's all up to me, will I stay home and feel pity for myself? Or will I go out and have a jolly good time? It would be fun to plan a nice trip somewhere for a low budget. I will be searching further. Another working (half) day has ended, work is going well. This morning I had a short appointment with my counselor from Reha and the Boss from Slettenhaar, we gathered around in the Boss's office. My counselor wanted to know how I was doing with my work at the moment, and she wanted to know how 'we'are going further, cause it's already my third week there. 'We' are Slettenhaar my counselor and me.

I told them that I like the work that I'm doing and that it's going well, only I will have to work more days then only the three half days that I'm already working. I'm allowed to work 20 hours a week, (Doctor opinions) with the three half days that I'm working I know it's not the 20 hours I need. My Boss told me that she saw me rather work whole days then half days, I'm actually happy with that. I can't bring up to work a whole week half days. I need a resting day in the week, otherwise I will collapse. I already was thinking of working three whole days at Slettenhaar, just like I did with Reha, I worked there aswell three whole days. My Boss was  okay with that she told me this morning. (Yay!) I can build it up towards three whole days whenever I want, but it has to be within three months. Cause that's the time I have before they might give me a working contract. Then I will get payed aswell.

I told my Boss that I would like to try next week a whole day on Tuesday for two weeks, after the two weeks I will see how it goes. If it goes well I will be trying another whole day, maybe a Monday or a Thursday, I don't know yet. In the end I will be working on Monday a whole day, Tuesday a whole day and Thursday a whole day. I have been counting the hours and I came on 24 hours a week instead of the 20 hours I'm allowed to work. I'm looking ahead already, I will jsut see what happens, but, you know what? I really have positive thoughts about this job, I see a future in this job. I just feel it! The work is kinda easy, the fellow workers are nice and they accepted me, my Boss is thinking off my health and everything is going so well. What can I actually wish more for?

"Hey, have a good afternoon!"

"Hey, have a good afternoon!" 

"Hey have a good afternoon," said a fellow work to me when I left at 1:00 after lunch, nice! The workers at Slettenhaar are becomming more and more outgoing day by day, I like that. It makes me realize I'm a part too, it makes it much easier for me to talk to them aswell. I already talked though, but sure not that much, now there are workers there who also don't talk that much, so I'm good, lol. Naah, communication! I want and need communication, it's good for me.I was a bit concerned to go to work actually this morning, I wasn't feeling so well, I had already a bit of a cold last weekend. This morning I thought, "I will just go and see how it goes." Just before I wanted to go I felt a bit like throwing up and I was a bit pale. Not good I though, but I went anyway. 


At work I had the same feeling, feeling like throwing up and my body felt tickly, sore troath aswell. I was thinking, "If this feeling goes on like that, I'm going home." But I slowly went on, and as the time past I felt bit by bit better. Not 100% better, but it went. Sigh, nothing feels better when your not feeling sick, I can tell you that. Still I took it easy at work, I had the same work like last week, it's all good. I'm working three half days now, there will come a day that I will have to decide to work a half day more. That will be four half days then, I hope I can manage. I think I should pick a day in November and just go for it, or sooner. It's all about 'seeing how it goes.' I have three months until my new Boss can say to me, "Hey your a good worker, you can stay for good." 


It all depends on me, can I manage or can I not? It's hard to imagine though, hard to imagine myself working five half days at Slettenhaar. Cause that's what the Boss would like from me, working five half days. After work I had a little apointment at Reha with my two old Bosses and my counselor Sahajo, Sahajo wanted to know how I was standing at the moment, do I have to work at Reha aswell now I'm working at Slettenhaar too? Do I earn money while I'm working, What will happen if Slettenhaar fires me after the Three months? Alot of questions where I got an answer from in 'that' appointment. There was a hard wind while riding my bike from Slettenhaar to Reha, and it's such a long ride aswell. Sigh! I rather went home with my cold and take a nap. 


I arrived at Reha perfectly on time, Sahajo was already there. We all sat down, my two bosses, Sahajo and me. We didn't sit that long cause we talked everything out in thirthy minutes. Result? I can always come back to Reha, even when I get fired, Reha will just start againwith searching for a job for me. I won't earn money in those three months, but will keep my monthly money, it's the law in holland. I don't have to work at Reha while I'm working at Slettenhaar, I can totally focus now on my new job, yay! There will be a second appointment tomorrow at Slettenhaar, with my (new) Boss and my counselor from Reha. We will be talking about how it's gonna go further with me, and if I have any questions I can ask them too. I'm still a bit concerned about working those five half days, will I manage that? 


I really hope so, cause I want this job. Akward right? Two weeks ago I was concerned about this job, I didn't even wanted to go. And now? The opposite! I can tell you, I changed, I really changed and I like it! I can say, my time in Canada has been good for me, aswell my time at Humanitas. I would never, NEVER, ever expected this!  I still see myself standing at Pearson international airport in Toronto with my three suitcases. I tought I would just go back to Holland with no expitations, and fall into a dark deep hole. I didn't mind though, I just wanted to go. Cause there was no turning back possible. And here I am now, I went trough alot but I survived! 


This calls for more... So much more!

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacopoeia. ~Napoleon I

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacopoeia.  ~Napoleon I

Yeah, not feeling so well, I wish my cold came trough, I mean let the sneezing or coughing began, so I know where I'm at. At the moment my troath is still feeling tickly, I can't really describe the feeling. I have this feeling always before a cold comes, in the past I had it aswell but then it was more nerves or stress. You know the feeling when your not breathing trough your stomach but higher up trough your chest. In the past I had excersizes from a gymnast, or how you call such a person. She learned me how to breath properly, breath trough your stomach and not trough your chest. The best way was to breath and see your stomach going up and down, that's a calm breath. At the moment when I feel and see myself breathe I breath trough my chest. it feels like having nerves, I'm not breathing properly. This kinda breathing will go over when my cold comes trough. I sneezed already a four times, so I'm good, lol! 


That nerves breathing what I had in the past was a pain, I don't have that anymore. When I smelled paint for example my breath got locked by it self, I was breathing trough my chest, I disliked painting something in that time, lol. It was like a burning feeling in my troath, I had the same with chigarettes and ciggars. I disliked being sick when I was a teenager, I tried almost everything not to get ill when I felt I became ill. I informed medical books, and ate alot of fruit, just trying to find a solution not to get more ill. I laugh about it now, I still see my Mom comming in the room while I was checking out medical books. "Let me guess," she told me then, "You feel like your getting ill again?" Checking the medical books and trying everything to forcome to get more ill made it only get worser, lol.I just needed to sick it all out, let the illness come. My Mom always had a saying when I felt something again, "Don't think about."


On with this Sunday, a day of rest, here and there I did something and that was it. I ironed my working clothes, made myself food, showered and took three naps. Today was also the day that Ricardo came with his Mom Catherina, they arrived around 3:00, and as expected Ricardo was shy and quiet, lol. Ofcource he was happy to see me, but he was to shy to show it. I bought him a little bag of candy and a bottle of Fanta. But Ricardo wanted to go home after twenty minutes, he wasn't feeling so well he said, little shy boy, ofcource it's quiet alot what he's going trough, no wonder he's quiet. I hope everything will go well for him, and that he finally gets a proper location where he can live and just be a boy of 8 years and play with his friends. Today aswell I got a message back from Saf, she had different important things on her head that's why the not reply sooner. I understand that, and actually expected that aswell to be honest, it's alright. 


I will be short about this, cause in my eyes that's the right thing to do. We both have to make another deal about my belongings, shipping items to another country is a expensive thing to do. She can't afford to ship my belongings and I can't either. There is an option to split the shipping price, but still it's alot of money. I told Saf that she doesn't have to worry about this, I told her to focus first on her other important things and in the meantime I will think or try to think of an other solution for my belongings. I will aswell think about splitting the price. I even thought about of just letting it all be, leave my belonmgings there. But let Saf first do her things first and I will do mine, I'm sure my belongings wont walk away in the meantime, right? Decisions, decisions, decisions, money, money, money. 

Getting a tickly troath....

Getting a tickly troath....

Ugh, that feeling just before your getting a cold, I so don't like it. Tickly troath, not feeling so well. I already had it a bit this morning that feeling, but I went anyway to Ikea. If I have something on my mind, it must happen, lol. But it was a good and a nice ride towards ikea, although the road towards it seemed longer. I'm sure it must have been the weather, it was colder and I was wearing a wintercoat, scarf and gloves, including a winterhat. Ofcource I was sweating when I arrived at Ikea, but the winterclothing was a must, it felt comfy aswell. That's one min point of having cold weather, dress thick and warm. But while riding my bike and dress warm it isn't always that comfy. Sometimes the breathing goes a bit less, cause of the thick clothing. Anyway, on with the show.

It was quit busy at Ikea, most people were driving like mad to find a good parkingspot. I just smiled and whistled my way to park my bike anywhere I could, and not to forget lock it well. I don't wanna walk home. I was nice on time, I took of from home around 9:30 and I arrived at Ikea at 10:10. It wasn't that busy inside, most of the people were still looking for a parking spot. I walked around and took my time, I enjoy walking around at Ikea and look at the nice stuff they have. And they have so many for a reasonable price. There was a young family walking there aswell, Mother, Father and two kids, one of the kids was having a bad temper. I watched the Father a few times, I must say he was parenting well and didn't loose his patience. I observed the parents a few times and it made me think of my time with Saf when the two youngest had bad tempers. Haha, never loose your patience. Sometimes I miss the parenting part, specially when I saw the Father and the two kids. 

On my way....

It was getting bussier, but still I took my time. I had my 'things I needed' list with me, and with some items I written down I had doubts. The curtains! I measured them well and I knew what I needed, only I had to buy two packages of 'ready made' curtains for the living room. One package of curtains were to shorth , I needed <-- 275cm-->  meters, and Ikea had standard meters from <--145cm--> for all curtains. So, if I would buy two packages (145cm plus 145cm is 290cm) then I would be alright, but still, doubts. I would have to sew the curtains together and I wondered if that would look nice. Even the curtain rod of that lenght was hard to find, so yeah, I will think about it or look further. In the end I can always go to a special curtain store, and they will measure everything up and they will prepair the curtains and hang them aswell up. Pretty expensive but it's done then and it's good. 

On my way...

At the end of my shopping I was pretty satisfied, I was happy what I picked out. It would be a bit weird to sum all up the picked out tthings but, ah! Here it goes, I bought a washing basket, a lamp for the kitchen, a duvet case set, (including a pillow case) two sheets, a toilet brush, a fruitbasket, three little square mirrors, (they were so nice, they got the same color as my red wallpaper.) Two pillows, and ofcource the plints for the finnishing of my laminate floor. The plints were two meters long, and I had seventeen of them. It was pretty much to get it all back towards home, lol. Remember I was on my bike, but it went pretty easy. I bundled the plints with four pieces of rope, and putted the other items in a plastic bag and in my shoulder bag. On top of that I bought a can of cowberry jam, my peanutbutter jelly sandwisches will taste a bit different now, yum! 

My bike.. packed and on my way...

The last few kilometers were though, riding my bike went well, and the weather was good. But the bags were full and that made it heavy to ride. I sweated when I arrived home, took all my bags plus the plints in the house and unpacked them. I made myself lunch and took a well deserved nap afterwards in my comfy clothes. Now hear this!  Just before I wanted to go to Ikea, I got a mail from Catherina, remember her? She's the ex from Johannus. Catherina and Johannus were a couple and they lived at Humanitas for a while with there two young kids, Ricardo and Dylano. I spent alot of time with Ricardo, he liked me and saw me almost like a Father figure, Ricardo's Father didn't spent much time with Ricardo. Ricardo was hard to handle cause of his ADHD. Three or four months ago Catherina and Johannus got seperated and Johannus took care of the kids, he demanded them from Catherina. 

The biggest tree I saw on my way....

Later on Johannus found himself a house and took off with the kids, leaving his ex all by herself. Catherina wasn't alowed to see the kids, Catherina still lived at Humanitas, and still she lives there. It's been almost four months since Catherina saw the kids. And that was it? No, this morning I got a mail, like I said. Catherina told me that Johannus or someone else brought back Ricardo to Humanitas back to his Mom Catherina, reason? Johannus couldn't take care of Ricardo anymore! So, he or someone else just dumped Ricardo at Humanitas, Catherina was happy to see her Son again, but was devestated aswell. "How could he drop his own Son just like that? Like trash?!" yelled Catherina. She's right, what kinda Father are you then? Ricardo is now back at Humanitas reunited with his Mom, but what a way to parent your child. 

On my way...

Ricardo wanted to see me, and Catherina made a appointment with me to meet each other. This Sunday they will come at 3:00 pm, Ricardo and Catherina. I'm sure he will be happy to see me, all excited. I'm excited too, it's been such a while sinced I saw him. I spend alot of time with him, sure I had my difficulties aswell with him, oh when he doesn't get it his way, lol! The ADHD was a struggle aswell, patienced was the keyword. I really hope Ricardo gets a bright future from now on, it's sure not healty for him to send him back and forth and here and there. Slightly it concerns me, I mean, if someone ask Ricardo when he is a grown up teenager, 'How was it being a child?' or 'were you happy as a child?' What on earth will he answer then? It grabs me such things, he doesn't deserve this, every child doesn't deserve this. I think Ricardo's  not even aware what's going on. When I will see him tomorrow I will give him a little gift. Bless him! 

"Your doing well, don't worry about it."

"Your doing well, don't worry about it."

Yes I do, I do well. It's going slowly but that's how I like it and wanted it. Today I took it easy, I did my groceries already for the whole week. Did two loads of laundry and cooked, and that was it. Sahayo my new counselor visited me this morning, cause I had a appointment with him today. He's a nice guy, we went trough alot of financial things and managed most of these things. There were still a few small cases that had to be taken care off, with a few phonecalls from Sahayo and me we managed them well. I'm glad that was settled, I should get used to making phonecalls though, I still dislike it. I always prepair myself when I have to make a phonecall, then I know what I must say and if they ask me questions I will have my papers or answers ready, but still 'eeek.' I want to work on that, being less 'eeek' for the phone, lol. Practize, practize and practize. 

I'm getting more and more items and furniture in my house, I should get started with a contents insurance. I already have a company in mind who's not that expencive. I thought about ING, my bank, it's nice to have it all under one roof. It can get a maze if you have a insurance here and another insurance there. I'm still thinking about ING, there trustwhorty too cause I know this company for a long time and I have been a member for so long. I can sum up all the things that stil have to be arranged and is arranged but, that's such a long list, I can be short in that, everything is going well, and with everything I mean the finacial things and other bussines stuff. Here and there I still need to do some things but that has no rush. The most important stuff is all settled.

My wishes for the comming months, years, decades (lol) are... A nice job, (what I'm working on at the moment) a nice house what feels comfy and where I can live my life in, (It's getting there) people around me (friends, fellow workers, etc, etc.) Doing activities in my free time, (sport, cursus, etc, etc.) I would like to travel aswell, that would be nice, I so miss the flying. Going up in the air, woohoo! Love it! When I achive all the things I summed up above here I'm pretty sure there will be a lovely lady come across my path while doing working, activities, travelling. Or maybe I will go search for her on my great big white horse, but I'm still not in a rush, I also think that that's a good thing, don't haste things, take it easy and enjoy yourself first, and then... maybe... you never know! First things first.

Tomorrow Ikea!! Oh yeah, I still need some items. The weather is still okay at the moment to go on a bike, if I wait another few months I will have to dash trough the snow, and that's not a pleasant thing to do. So, it's better now. Curtains 2x, fitted sheets, 2x lamps for the living room, 1 lamp for the kitchen, I think I summed up the most important itmes I still need. Ofcource Ikea has lots of nice other stuff, but I like to buy first the things I 'really'need. The other nice things are just side issues. Hopefully the weather will be as good as today tomorrow, today was a nice day, no rain, no storm, just clear blue sky and sunshine. It's nice with all the brown/yellow/red leafs. I might take some pictures when I'm on my way to Ikea.

Still no sign from Saf, I sent her a mail three or four weeks ago, I asked for my belongings. I asked it very nicely and aproached her carefully. I so dislike arguing with her, I just want to keep the peace between us. And what she all does further, it's all fine with me. I think about her less nowadays, I just want her to be happy and live her life. If something will happen to her I still will be concerned, that wont change, the same counts for her kids, I still care alot about them. But I'm living my life here now, here and there a little contact would be nice. A short mail once in a while with asking me or I ask her how it's going or what's going on with the kids, just that. That would be nice. I wrote Saf this morning another mail after I waited a small month, asking for my belongings.

Again I asked her carefully, I asked her to give me a sign what's going on with my belongings, I told her aswell that I don't mind when she's gonna send it, but I would like to have a sign. Cause ignorance is not like her, it's been already a few months since my first message. I have been thinking to let it all be, just leave it and let it be. I'm thinking that this morning I sent my last message.... and then I will let it be if I don't hear from her.

Life has got to be lived -- that's all there is to it.

Life has got to be lived -- that's all there is to it.

My mind: "Hey you wanna go to Ikea this weekend? Otherwise the things you really need are sold out." Me: Yes, sure, but let's wait first for the weatherforecast! I still need lots of 'plints'  to get my laminate done, plints will be placed in the corner between the wall and the lamintate on the floor. When all the plints are placed I can say then that my laminate is done. I still need a few things more from Ikea, but only items what I really need, like a few lamps and perhaps curtains. First I need to do some measuring. For the same reason the weather will be so bad that I'm not even going, I would really like to go once my head is on Ikea, but it's quit a ride, and if the weather is bad, hmm! I will see.

What a nice morning at work, I don't even have to ask what to do. First I walk towards the cantine, for a cuppa tea, and for a greeting to the other workers. There's not much talking in the morning, lol, it's way to early. At 7:30 all the workers go to there machines or other there  duties. I will walk to my duty, I have been doing the same work now for three days, and I like it, I don't even mind doing it. I'm becoming quit handy in it aswell, no one touches my work! You hear? lol. My Boss came up to me aswell this morning, asking me how it went, I told her that everything went well. It's sometimnes quit heavy but that's a thing I have to get used to. My Boss told me that if I wanted some other work I can just ask, but I like what I'm doing at the moment, if it gets bored then I will ask for something else. I'm getting used to what I do, it feels comfy.

The new worker who came from Reha came aswell, it was his first day, and he got another duty to work on. It was nice having him around. We talked a few times, and sat next to each other with the breaks. At 1:00 after my lunch I decided to go home and not to Reha, tough deciscion but I was glad I made the desicion. I drove my bike towards home and felt quit good, I thought a ten times, "Ah, shall I go to Reha or not?" But I didn't go, I came home and putted on some comfy clothes and took a nap. I slept for thirty minutes and woke up in the sun. After waking up I felt sore but later on I felt much better. I'm so glad I didn't went to Reha. I felt much better and had energy left for the last part of the afternoon, my first load of laundry is hanging, lol.I informed my Boss at Reha aswell with a email about not comming, he understood that my new job comes first, I could always drop by he told me, and I surely will.

Muammar Gaddafi...

Former Libyan leader Col Muammar Gaddafi has been killed, Libyan Prime Minister Mahmoud Jibril confirms.

My reaction when I saw and heared the news? Ooh? okay! I know who Muammar Gaddafi is, and I know what he does and that he's a bad Dictator. But further then that, I don't know, I didn't follow him and if he was on the news I skipped it. Not interesting, although his hairstyle and outfits is more then interesting. The man is a lunatic and he's not 100% I think, the way he dresses says it all. Now there all happy in Libya, I sure understand that aswell. These people have been living in bad situations for almost 40 years, no wonder there happy. 
Now the question is what's next? What will happen after Gaddafi's death? I guess we will hear it, right? 


P.s Dictators are people too, even how brutal and cruel during their reign might be. Images of a bloodied and injured Muammar Gaddafi are shocking.
Reactions from Holland over Gaddafi's death... 


Rob: I'm So glad he was caught. Chapeau. Let's hope that Libya is able to get himself on track.


Lisette: Just come home from work and heard talking about the death of Gaddafi. Finally ... Another dictator / murderer is less.

Bas: It is unfortunate that Gaddafi can not longer be tried. Hopefully the last of his faithful followers lay down their weapons quickly, so that finally the reconciliation process can get started."

 Monique: A strange bunch of people, what on earth will become of these people? See how they deal with a death body, it's outrageous! I'm concerned how it will go further with the people in Libya. See Egypt now when Mubarak is gone.


Sigh, I'm actually happy that it's all far away, far from my bed as we say in Holland. Everyone has to believe in something, I believe I'll have another cuppa coffee.

Ugh! Sigh! And a Yay!

Ugh and a Sigh!

Well, here I am at the library, writing my post. This afternoon my internet connection fell out, I thought at first just reset my modem and I'm done, just like I always do. But no! I reseted my modem ten or twelve times, but nothing helped. I even called the company who gives me the internet twice, and they told me there was nothing wrong with my internet connection. I have been trying for atleast an hour and then I gave up. Maybe the company was wrong or maybe not, I tried everything. I even thought about ordering a new company for my internet.... I just don't know. P.s. It's not that fun writing here in the library, lol. Lots of kids and this keyboard is kinda akward. Anyway, I will see how long this 'no internet will last, atleast I have a TV. In the end there's will always be a solution.

And then...

And then after coming home I tried again and again. After five minutes I gave up. Not much later I came up with a idea. I will call a fixer, the company who gives me the internet has fixers too, they come and fix you computer or the internet, even in the evening, only it will cost me. I putted everything ready, cellphone, computer on, papers with me, modem stand by. Then I saw the reset button again on the modem, and I thought, "Why is it not working? I tried so many times," I pushed again, and again. Then all of a sudden there it was, I had internet again! Yay! The so called 'reset' button wasn't a reset button. That button was for to turn off or on wireless internet! I have been turning my internet off and on! Goose I am! I will never, NEVER touch that button again! LOL! Pffeeww!

Today...

Today was a cold day, oh yeah! Still I didn't want to wear a winter coat, but tomorrow I will start. Were getting colder days this week, I might even get my long underwear out of the closet, lol, oh yeah I have them. I took it easy today, slowly I woke up and took my time with prepairing breakfast. Cornflakes with a sliced banana, yum, it looked good and it tasted good. Easy morning, I red some magazines and solved some word search puzzles, I like them. Around ten I putted warm clothes on and went off to do some duties, I needed copies and the city hall has a nice copy machine. I have been there many times so it's handy I knew the way inside the building. Almost next to the city hall stands the library, I needed to get my free membership confirmed. 

At the library...

It's really a nice library, it has lots of space, there's even a lunch room. The library has four floors. The lady at the desk asked for my ID when I handed in my card. On that card it said that I have a free membership to the library. But I forgot my ID, I don't walk around daily with my passport, lol. The lady really needed my ID to confirm my membership. I will have to come back I told the lady, she was okay with that. Oh well I thought, the day is still young. On the card I saw that a library membership cost 35 Euro for a year, not bad! There you go Anisah, there's your answer. 35 Euro cost a membership for a year, and in the US it's free! Not fair! LOL. I surely will return to the library with my ID, I look forward to pick out a book the next time.Maybe two books.

Tomorrow...

A nice but cold day it was this Wednesday, with the 'free dinner' we had kale with potatoes, (mashed) a nice winter meal. I loved it! Tomorrow it will be a working day again, one guy from Reha is comming aswell to work there. Kinda looking forward to it, only wondering what kinda work he will do, will he take over my work? The work what I'm used to now? And what will I be doing then if he will do my work? Some questions where I will get an answer on tomorrow, I will see it then. I want to focus now on my new job, in other words, "I'm going for it." And tomorrow afternoon too Reha? I don't know yet. I shouldn't actually cause I will regret it afterwards. I think I will send my Boss at Reha a message, saying and explaining that it's better for me I'm not comming. I'm sure he will understand.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. 

Laying on the couch with my laptop on my legs, when I turn my head to the right, I saw a little low table and  it has a nice warm cuppa coffee on it. Sometimes the little things can make you feel like your on a paradise. This relaxation was needed and I was looking for ward to it, I had a exhausting day at work. This morning went fine at Slettenhaar, I like it there, the other workers are starting to talk aswell, that's a comfy feeling. Sometimes I can be like a wall-flower, aproach me for a talk and I will talk to you, but when I have to aproach you, wait! Just a bit to shy, and I'm not that a talker. In the past I was mostly like that, specially at school, oh dear, I was never on the foreground. I guess I could blame I was a kid alone with no brothers and sisters, just Mom, Dad and me. Since I have been in Canada, many things changed, aswell as my time at Humanitas. I had lots of people around me in Canada and Humanitas. I can say I can (and will) aproach people easier now. 

Alright, back to the couch,  I'm exhausted, I did a bit to much today. After Slettenhaar I went to Reha, and I shouldn't have done that. Ofcource it was nice to see the other workers again, but I felt tired. I did my work though in my own tempo, like my Boss told me too. But still. I finnished at four and was riding back home with some other workers from Reha, when I arrived at home I felt it, heavy on my chest and just felt exhausted. When I get my rest I start to feel it, when I go on with working, I won't feel it that much. But going on and ignoring that I'm tired that's where I go wrong. It's ussualy at the end of the day, when I feel it, and notice it I did to much. Ofcource everyone is tired after a day work, but for me it's just different. I did more then I could bare, maybe I was a bit to excited, then my mind does not listen, when my body says stop. Mostly my body will win though and then I will take it easy.

Solution? I will change my working schedule, my plan is to focus more on my new job, Reha is not that important at this moment. Reha is only important for keeping contact with them over my new job, inform them about how it's going at my new job. Working at Reha at this moment is just for pleasure, cause I miss the other workers or I miss working with wood. Now I will stop with working at Reha, but will keep contact. I work now three half days at Slettenhaar, Now the Boss at Slettenhaar would like that I work four or better fivew half days. First I will try to get used to the three half days, then with in two weeks I will try four half days, then perhaps slowly building it up too Five half days. I just will see. My Boss at Reha would like to see me working at Reha aswell, but I need to think of myself aswell, and I will.

I love my couch, stirring my spoon around and around in my cuppa coffee, lol. Relaxation, after writing this post I will visit my City, City? Yeah, my City in Cityville on Facebook. It's getting a kind of a habbit, lol. It's all about building houses, community buildings, shops and lot's of other stuff, everything what a city needs. It's like being a major of your own city, I like it! But it's getting thougher and thougher now, I need to build more houses to get more citizens. But the lack of space to build these house, ugh! Sometimes it ain't that easy. Alright, let me get going to my City, I need to harvest some black berries, I'm such a goose, lol!

Cold, colder, coldst!

Cold, colder, coldst! 

It was cold this morning while I went to work, but I was prepaired. Still I leave the winterjacket where it is, in the closet. I don't wanna spoil myself already, I will save my winterjacket when it gets really cold. I putted a sweater with a zipper under my Autumn jacket, took my scarf and a thin warm hat. No gloves yet, no spoiling. I was nice on time, I left at 7:00 and arrived at 7:15 at work, the maindoor was still closed and some of the workers were standing waiting outside. Suprising, but it was okay. Still it feels a bit akward to ride my bike to my new job and not to Reha, But that will change, I will get used to that. I like being on time at work, so I can take it easy and not have to rush to start with work.

There are alot of people working at my new job, (Let's call it Slettenhaar, cause that's the name of the company) if I have to guess how many I would say around 35 people. And that's alot more then at Reha, with their 8 people. I knew right away what to do when I started this morning, it was the same work I did last Thursday. I saw already alot of sawed bunches of aluminium rods laying on a table, all different lenghts. I will have to attatch them together again with a kind of rubber rope. I walked toward the bunches of rods and my Boss walked with me, "You know what to do," he said with a smile. "Yep," I answered. It's a bit boring work but that's alright, It's quit easy work and that's what I like about it aswell.

Everything went well, only a few times the muscle pain bothered me, there were a few rods (a bunch of 100) they had quit a long lenght, so, attatching them together was tough. The coffee break came as a relief at 9:30, I was thinking, "How on earth will I manage if I have to do this a whole week? I will never manage that." The thought what made me feel comfy was that I don't have too, I will just do my best and see how it will go. If I don't manage these three months of testing, then I will go back to Reha, and then I can say that I did tried my best but I didn't succeed. I can say then, this is not the right job for me, I don't have the energie for it. But this is now, and I'm still okay, just muscle pain and tired afterwards. Getting used to it is my next goal.

Suprisingly, there are three woman working at Slettenhaar, one of them is 65!! And she's a tough little lady, wow! I wouldn't give her 65, now way! She told me it will be her last few weeks here, she's gonna retire soon. I wasn't suprised with that age. The morning went pretty fast, I decided to have lunch at Slettenhaar, and then return home. I think it's a good thing to get to know the other workers this way, spending lunch with them and showing them that I'm a part of the team too. I left at 1:00 when the other workers went back to work, I was exhausted. Sleep was needed. But I couldn't cause between 1:30 and 5:00 I will be getting a fixer for my broking window in the hallway. Remember the broken window? And me locked out of the house last week?

I rested and layed on my matras, and felt asleep for ten minutes. I woke up at 2:00 and the fixer came just before 3:00, nice! The fixer measured the window and had to go back to get the new window, he came back within fifteen minutes, he went to work and placed the new window in twenty minutes. I'm so happy with it, although the window looks a bit different, it's much better then a window with a hole in it, right? I thanked the fixer and cleaned a bit up after him, I hope I wont have to pay for the window, I'm asured, but it wasn't a axcident that the window broke, I had to brak it to get in the house, so, hmmm! I will wait and see. It's gonna be a cold night again and tomorrow rain, sigh, oh well, it's Autumn what can you expect.

One last thing!

Dear follower,  your sleeping service has been activated
Now enjoy unlimited sweet dreams browsing in your bed.
Good night & sweet dreams.

And.. 


And...


And...

 Have a nice sleep Jana.

“Carpe diem, Seize the day”.

“Carpe diem, Seize the day”. 

Seize the day, yeah, I will have to start with some things what will get me out more. Specially in the weekends, or, I don't know. I need my rest too, and the householdings has to be done aswell. Yeah this week I will start, for example visiting the libary. I still need to go to the libary cause I have a free membership for a year. I got that free membership from the housing corporation as a gift. Aswell I think there's a community center in my neighborhood, where people can go for following a cursus or for just a cuppa coffee or tea. I should have a look this week. I know I want these 'things,' I will explore them and go out more.

Sunday... I cleaned and organized a few things. I whiped and swiped the floors, and cleaned out the bathroom and shower. I organized the cabinets, mostly paperwork. I like my organized paperwork, so I can find my post or papers easily. I have several binders, I guess I have 6 or 7 of them, all in different colors. I use them for my mail and other important papers, there so handy. I even have a binder for my last mail, after a few weeks I will look in that binder and I will decide what to do with it, throw it away or keep it. I have three cabinets, and there not even completely full, and they won't be either I think.

These cabinets are build into the walls and there I can pack alot of things. I don't need another cabinet, everything will fit in the build-in cabinets easily. It was another sun shinning day, no cloud in the sky. But I stayed inside, don't know why, lol. Just felt like it, I had to clean and organize anyway. And it's nice to walk around in a sweater plus pyama pants too all day. Today on Facebook I had a akward moment, lol. There's this guy who I knew from when I went out to houseparties and was a d.j myself. His name is Jeff and he's a d.j. aswell and he performed in a dance band. I never spoke to him though, I just saw him perform and liked the music he played. 


Jeff was and still is a celebrity in Holland, so today he asked me (for the first time) on Facebook, "Have we met?"  He must have noticed me on Facebook and asked himself, who I was. I answered that I know him while he was in a band and performed as a d.j. And that I went out alot to houseparties and that's where I saw him many times. He answered back that he thought that I was someone where he slept with one time or another, LOL!  Yeah, Jeff is gay, lives in Holland but was born in London UK.  He founded my Facebook posts always entertaining and in english, that's why he was wondering.... Akward! I laughed about though, and explained him that I was straight as can be... 


Allthough that, I like his compliment about my Facebook posts, Jeff is a nice guy and a good entertainer. Alright, enough of that, I'm looking a bit forward to tommorow, work! Yeah the weekend was a bit 'bleh,' I like the TV and the cabinet, but further then that, bleh. Maybe it was just that yesterday and today I felt a bit down, I still have that sometimes, and that's alright. Weekends are for rest and perhaps to enjoy your free days. Relaxing can also when you go out and have fun, maybe next weekend a sauna? I will see.

"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts."

"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts."

Just my luck today, I saw a nice TV cabinet on a selling site last night and I messaged the seller. This morning I confirmed with him about the price, and he brought the cabinet in the early afternoon. Like, woot! The new TV looks nice on the cabinet, I'm happy with it, and even more happier with the TV. Installing it was a piece of cake, plugged it in and on the screen apeared a menu, all I had to do is take the remote control, follow the screen and push 'ok' sometimes. The TV progammed everything automaticly, I was done in 10 minutes. 

It's Saturday already, the time flies sometimes. Again it was a nice day out, fully sun and a clear blue sky. But it felt colder, if it's gets colder this comming week I will think about putting my winter jacket on. The colder and darker days are comming again, days that you will have to make it comfy in house. I'm happy with my TV and my computer, sometimes I do like to solve crossword puzzles or word searcher, I bought a few puzzle magazines last week. I'm aware that  I need people around me aswell, specially with the months what are ahead of me. My Dad used to call them. "Dark days before Christmas." Almost sounds like a reading book, lol.

Yeah, I had a little bit of a down moment today, just 'beng' there it came. Then I got to choose, stay in that moment  and keep thinking that I feel a bit lonely at the moment, or I'll try to do something what keep my lonely thoughts away. I had lots to do but I felt exhausted, so I choosed the first option, stay in that moment that I felt a bit lonely. Afterwards I prolly feel that this 'moment' was needed aswell, I see it as a bit of getting rid of my grieving,  it's still a  proces aswell. Escaping from these sometimes lonely moments is not always good, you have to get trough them sometimes. Another thing is that I think it's good to get started with searching for things that helps me not feeling lonely, Things like visiting a libary,or join a cursus, look for things ahead to do these comming months.


I'm not worried, sometimes having these moments just happens, it hurts but I'll get over it. Second thing what I thought of today, the last 10 months I have been trough alot, but I managed it. I achieved alot cause I had to, there was no other option. I'm aware that I'm acapable of more things then I thought I was, now, why didn't I do the things what Saf wanted from me. like getting a job, or get out more by myself, etc, etc. I know, it's a akward thought thinking this now, it was tough finding a job in Canada, specially when your ilegal,  and having a Dutch passport. So, yeah it was a struggle and difficult, but didn't I had it difficult the last 10 months? I did manage.


I shouldn't be even thinking about this now, I'm here now and I build up my life again. What if this and what if that, right? I should have done this and I should have done that. Being aware that I'm acapable of more things then I thought I was makes me wanna think of the time in Canada, thinking of the thought 'it was tough getting a job.' And it was tough, so there! Saf wanted me to 'man up,' I can say I manned up pretty much lately, why didn't I man up then? I guess I learned my lesson, and I will take this lesson with me in a/my new relationship. But ugh! Thinking back.... Maybe I should have done that different and... Sigh! Never mind! This is now and I'm here now... Just one of the moments...  


With the new day comes new strenght and new thoughts, YES!

Picture time!

 Picture time! 

Just a few pictures from what I had left on my camera from this week, with every picture I have a little story.  

Bought some steaks today aswell, they were a bit bigger then I thought.

Dinner for today. Potatoes are almost boiling!

Tadaaa, dinner is ready!

At the trainstation in Hengelo is a bicycle station aswell.

Take a look at this, where a small country can be big in, bicycles!!

Huge cabbage's in front of a Etnic food store, this store is near to my house. It's a nice store with lots of Turkish people. I had a little peek in the store today. I should have take a picture from all the waterpipes they had.

This is how I relax, feet up high!

Same relaxation, different angle.

"Days like this should be always with Autumn."

"Days like this should be always with Autumn."

I was about to make a photoalbum of nice self made Autumn pictures, but I could not find a nice spot to take these pictures. The last three days the weather was just awesome, awesome Autumn weather. Sun was shinning, not cold and a clear blue sky, perfect! Next week the weather forecast forespelled frost in the morning, just like the last three days it was cold in the morning aswell. I had to go to Hengelo (City) for a appointment with Sahayo, my new counselor. For a change I had to go to him, I didn't mind. Sahayo and I (mostly Sahayo) were planning to buy a TV in Hengelo, there's a huge electronic store where you can buy anything what has to do with electronic. This store is huge, and it's only a half a kilometer from Ikea. It's been a while since I was in Hengelo, I kinda looked forward to seeing it again. I had to be at Sahayo's place at 10:30,  I arrived in Hengelo at 9:45.

It was a short ride with the train, guess it was only a 15 minute ride. The train station was huge, that sure changed alot. It went from small to enormous, I really like the pink neon light walls. I headed to Sahayo, I had a small clue where to go but other then that, no. I knew the street and the number, I used Google maps yesterday and that helpled me. I had to go to Humanitas in Hengelo, Sahayo works there. I found the place in ten minutes. (Hooray for Google maps!) I walked in towards the Humanitas office and told the lady behind the desk that I had a appointment with Sahayo, the lady told me I had to be across the street from here, he will be there. The lady walked with me outside and pointed out where I had to be. It was an old store and once I was there, I looked out my eyes. It was a kind of a place where homeless people can do a 'day activity,' painting,  making stuff, cooking, you name it.

The place felt comfy and warm, it's a nice place to be. Sahayo was there aswell and showed me around, I liked the old furniture what the homeless people prepaired and make it kinda arty. It made me think off the time I lived on my own, and the time where I'm living now. I saw so many things and qent trough so many things the last three years,although some things were though and difficult, it makes me happy and aware aswell that sitting at home and let life just come over me isn't a good thing. I need to get out and explore things, go out and see people. It was time to go to the electronic store, Sahayo and I took off and we arrived at the store in ten minutes, while driving we talked about what all happened this week. Me having a new job, me being locked out of my house, etc, etc. It was a bit of a hectic week. Sahajo has been busy to with things for me. 

He has been investigating on my monthly income, he called Gak, that's the place where I get my monthly income from and he asked them all kind of questions. I was happy with that, cause in my head it was a bit of a mess with Gak,it felt like a  like a maze or a puzzle. But it's all straighten out now, every month I will just get my money where I have my right on. That will not change till I'm 65, even when I work with a contract this company still will pay me out every month. Ofcource I will get more money when I work with a contract then now without a contract, that's the law in Holland. Where I'm happy with is when I heared that everything with Gak is all settled now, they pay me out every month, and they pay me out on my ING account, I feel relieved! The electronic store wasn't so busy, and that's a good thing. All the way in the end of the store I could already see a waterfall of TV's, big ones small ones, every kind of TV was present.

I saw already a TV what I liked, but I looked around a bit more. There was one TV that costed 25000 Euro!! Not in 25000 years I would buy such a TV, that TV was enormous, I bet it was even bigger then my front door. I think it's a waste of money buying such a TV, but okay. I went back to the TV I saw first and asked some information about this TV, I liked it, and it wasn't that expensive. I already had a price in my head what the TV may cost when I buy one. I didn't wanna go higher then 350 Euro, below that price is fine with me. The TV I liked costed 345 Euro, and In bought it. I signed some papers, warrenty, I payed the store, and Sahayo and I carried the box into the car. I got a TV!!! Woot! I was happy with it! Driving back to my house Sahayo told me that the weather was so nice, and it was. Arrived at my house we both drank a coffee, and went trough some things what still needed to be done. My weekly homework, lol.

When I first picked up my house keys from the housing corporation I recieved a free membership for the libary in Almelo aswell . That has been almost a month now, I almost forgot about that though, Sahayo ordered me (with a smile) to go to the libary and look and sniff around there. Further... in every resedential area there's always something to do for the citizens in that area. Every resedential area has a sort of a social club or a meeting club. Where the citizens in that area can do something, like a activity, a cursus or a sport, anything. I told Sahayo a few weeks ago that here in this area where I live has to be such a thing too, Sahayo and I decided that I will have a look where that is this comming week. Yeah and further, further not that much, everythings seems fine. Oh wait let me correct that, everything GOES fine. I'm doing fine aswell, here and there a litte bit worries about my job and still a bit afraid of not comming around with my money.

I'm aware of how fast it can go you can become homeless, I sure have such a different look on homeless people now aswell. It can overcome everyone, everyone! I was homeless, can I imagine that myself? When I think of it, no! But I was, wow! I don't know what to say. I must say it could have been badder, right? I don't know... I have seen people living on the streets though many of them, and all with there own stories. Also people who lived on the streets for almost ten years. It's very difficult to put such people again in houses, cause they don't know anything else then being homeless. Anyway, I can be proud of myself!

"Let's work."

"Let's work." 

I'm exhausted and starting to feel a bit heavy on my chest while writing this post, it's been a full day. Maybe this day I did a bit to much, or is it the after pain from the nerves what has been hidding? Sometimes I have that, when I come to rest after a few days of nerves, (or stress) the nerves want to come out and then I feel the pain. I feel a bit out of breath, like someone is  pushing my chest. Rest is needed. But funny enough I can't say, "I worked so hard today, ofcource I'm out of breath." Yes, I have been working all day, and did quit alot. This morning I left to my job at 7:15 am, and arrived at 7:30 am, nice on time. It was cold this monring, oh yeah, it felt like winter was peeking around the corner. Only 4 degrees it was. When I arrived my Boss guided me inside, and offered me a coffee. She explained to me a few things about where I put my coat and my bike and ofcource where the cantine is and how the coffee machine works.

Then the Boss introduced me to the another Boss who will help me and guide me on the work floor, he will be the one who tells me what to do and gives out orders, he will also show me around and answer all my questions. I felt a bit like 'Remi,' cause I was the only one without a working overal. All the other workers were wearing the same darkblue shirt and overal, I was wearing the same outfit what I wear when I'm at Reha. Blue jeans from Levis and a Tommy Hilfiger sweater (with stripes ofcource, lol) Working shoes? No not yet, I have working shoes from Reha but Reha wanted them back. As soon as I get a contract then I will get the same outfit as the other workers and shoes. For now I will have to take care of my own working clothes, it's fine. Alright, it was time to get working, first I needed to get used to the work I had to do but later on it went fine. Slowly but steady.

I had to make 'the mats,' (Oh how do I explain this in english,lol) I'm sure pictures will help...

As you see the on the above picture, this is the mat where I have been working on, you see the aluminium? These aluminium rods has to be attatched to each other, and the use there for special rubber ropes. The mats come in different sizes, they told me that every ING bank has a a math like these. Now the attatching, to attatch the aluminium rods I needed a special tool, it was a little hook with a grip. You could almost see it as a screwdriver, same size and same grip. At the beginning of the aluminium rods there were special slots where the rubber rope has to go into, just shove it in. Well, just... in the beginning it wasn't that easy but slowly on I got handy in it, once I shoved the rubber rope into the aluminium rod, you take the hook tool and pull the rubber rope further in the rod, all the way to the end. Then cut the rope off at the start of the rod. And that's it. I made 12 mats of different sizes this morning. Pretty good, my Boss was happy with it, "Good job." The kinda work I did is just a beginning, the plan is to let me try other work activites aswell. I'm still learning.

 

The atmosphere there is nice, but so much different then Reha.Much more workers and it's a real factory with real products, serious stuff. Reha you can see as a learing school, they teach you or they prepair you for the real work in a factory, a real job. Ofcource at Reha we sell and produce furniture and other stuff but still it's different. The other fellow workers where I worked today are different aswell then the workers at Reha, most of the workers at Reha have a dissabillity to work, or have no abillity to work. They are still learning, or some workers see Reha as a day activity. Anyway, I must say I had a nice morning while working there, I was a bit exhausted, but further then that everything went fine. I only have to get used to the workers a bit there all strangers to me, and there so many of them, lol. They all know each other and I'm a stranger for them aswell. That will take time, I'm not that a communicater, specially not in this case. But I'm 100% sure that that will change, oh yeah! I'm not that a communicater but I communicate more then two or three years ago.

Many things has changed in the last three years with me and whitin me, first negative, but I can say and it's going positive aswell. Hail, hail here I come. At 12:30 I was free to go, the other workers had lunch and I went to.... Reha! Yeah, I promised them that I would work a half day and tell them how it went this morning. Funny that I saw suddenly a secondhand store on my way to Reha, I had time so I went in. There were lots of tools suprisingly, I didn't expect that. I saw aswell big coffee mugs, they were only 10 cents each. I reminded that my Boss at Reha needed coffee mugs in the cantine, silly and kind as I am, I bought ten mugs for the cantine, I thought it would be a nice suprise for them. And they were happy with it for sure, nice, big and all different kind of mugs. They were cleaning a bit up at Reha, so I joined them. It was nice being back for a little while. 

Next Monday I will start again with the new job, I will have to see how to divide my energy in the next comming weeks, I have to think of myself first. I will have to take it easy when I'm tired. I will work three half days first in the morning. If that goes well, I will start with four half days. The limit will ba five half days. I will keep contact with Reha, cause that's a must, I got my working counselors there too, they will have to be informed how it goes with my new job. I will try to work  Reha aswell, just to build it slowly off, lovely furniture I will miss you! Working at Reha will be Tuesday and Thursday in the afternoon, I will see how that goes, I'm sure I won't be doing that long, cause of my energy. Now I need to focus on my new job, divide my energy and do my best. If I don't succeed in the comming weeks, (months, cause it can happen that this job is just to much and isn't my thing), then I can always go back to Reha, and there they will look for another job for me.

Alright, time to end this post, Tommorow I will be a bit busy, I will have to meet my counselor for a appointment, were going to buy a TV! woot, WOOT!

"Hello, with the glas service contact line, where can I help you with?"

"Hello, with the glas service contact line, where can I help you with?" 

I called the housing corporation today to ask about how to get my window fixed, I called them cause when I went to them this morning they told me that I could only ask for the window prepairing trough the phone. I dislike phones, specially cellphones, but now I had no other choice then call. I called the housing corporation first and they putted me trough to the glass service contact line, and they asked me what my phone number was, what ofcource I didn't know. Sigh! I'm such a goose sometimes, I should know such things. I found my phone number and I had to call the housing corporation again, cause there was no other way to get in contact with the 'glas service.' Once I got the glas service on the phone they asked where I live and what kinda window it was, they even asked me how the window got broke, oops! I told them that something fell trough it, lol (Yeah, a hammer) 

Now a window fixer will call me to make a appointment to repair the broken window, I hope they don't call me when I'm in a shop or when I'm at work, (I dislike that) but ofcource that will happen. Oh well, atleast I will get my window fixed. I hope I won't have to pay for the repairing. I am assured though. Raining, raining and raining, just like yesterday it rained none stop. I bought myself a rain trouser and I'm happy with it, there were nice and cheap. Plus I bought a few white t-shirts, I wear them mostly underneath my sweaters or longsleeves. The once I had were dammaged while wearing them for such a long time, they weren't giving any warmth anymore. It's the first time I bought these shirts somewhere else, I use to buy Alan Red shirts, there so comfy but not that cheap.


I drove my bike two times today to the place where I have to work tomorrow, the first time in the morning was a disaster, searching and searching for the best route, and the rain fell down like crazy, but I found it. The second time I biked again the same route, but this time it went faster without any mistakes. The way to the factory is a bit further then Reha, but that's fine. I think it's a 20 minute ride. I have to be there at 7:45 am, and work till 12:30, ussualy I have to start at 7:30, but because it's my first day I can start a bit later, nice! After work I'm thinking of going to Reha, I kinda promised them that I drop by to tell them how my first mornming went. Yeah, I will do that, I'm even thinking of working a few afternoons at Reha, when I finnish my work at 'Slettenhaar.' I was always welcome said my Boss, ah, I will just see how my energy feels. I have to think of myself too. Am I excited about tomorrow? Hmm, so so, I just will see what will happen. I let it all come over me.