"If or when you find the Summer, please send it to Holland."

"If or when you find the Summer, please send it to Holland." 

We Dutch can officially say now that 2012 had a horrible summer, like it usually is. There's no complaining about Spring cause Spring is always good here, sometimes Spring here feels like Summer, and then the so called Summer starts. This week we will have rain, and nothing but rain, it's to cold for summer aswell, only 15/16 degrees, that doesn't feel like Summer. Today my counselor came for the very last time, he handed me a few papers to round of the session of eight months, I had to sign them. It was nice seeing him, we had a few nice talks about music and a few other things. I'm on my own now, but it's all good. Everything is fine now, only the social contacts has to be better, I'm working on that until I found something. 

After the Summer vacation I will get help finding social contacts, a new counselor will help me finding something what will suit me. That can be a club, or a sport or a activity, just anything. Though I will not wait untill after the Summer vacation, I will be searching myself aswell. As a matter affect, I think I found something today. I went this evening to a recreation  badminton event, (say what?) Every Friday evening from 8:00 until 10:00 a bunch of people come together in a gym hall to play badminton, it's a society, or how you call it. This society has a staff, and members. I went there to have a look, and to see what it's like. I didn't join them for a game, which I could cause the attendant asked me. He was very friendly and explained me a bit how it all went in this weekly event. 


It was quit busy there, they all were playing their games. I really like what I saw, it gave me a boost of energy, I want to join this. I wished I brought my gym clothing, but wait! I didn't had any training shoes, I will have to buy some. The first four lessons are free," the attendant told me. Nice, so I can see if I can handle this, cause it's quit a input I saw, but I like it, it really gave me a good feeling. Next Friday I will be going there again and join them for a match, yay! Next Friday will be aswell the last time cause of the Summer holiday, in September they start again. Then I will be starting fully too. I think I found what I was looking for, let's see how it will go.

Sometimes I long for normal people around me...

Sometimes I long for normal people around me... 

Just had a great day at work, work went well, we had laughs, talks, just a good atmosphere. At the end of the working day I took off to the free dinner, the last free dinner for the Summer vacation. We had Chinese food and ice-cream afterwards, before the dinner one of the cooks did a speech, such a good and nice speech, some were in tears. It was quit busy aswell! After the dinner I joined some of the people outside as usual, I meet my weekly friends who I see during every free dinner, it's a nice getting together with everyone. Though there are homeless people too, and sometimes they are drunk. (sometimes? LOL) And some are from Humanitas, they are the so called 'normal people,' well normal people? The staff at Humanitas, (counselors, bosses, etc, etc) have always called a outsider, outsider in a good way. I'm like the real normal one. 

The others were not really high educated, or have a drug past, or have other heavy problems. Though I left Humanitas with having friends there, I see some of them every week with the dinner. Sometimes it's nice, but sometimes I really long for really normal people. I was standing outside after the free dinner, and there was a kid of one of my friends playing and annoying me with his football. I ignored it and fooled around with him a bit. But on a certain moment I was done with him, and told him to stop. He kicked his ball many times at me, I told him later on, "If I get the ball then I will get rid of the ball, you have been warned." After a while he kicked again and on a surprising moment I got the ball and kicked it over the fence. He had to walk pretty far to get the ball, "Get me my ball,"he said. "You get it," I said, you have young legs." He gets his ball, and kicks me once again, "That's for you," he says, for letting me walk so far." 

Then I grabbed his ear just a bit, and I told him, "That's for you, for not listening to me." He cried! And I felt bad, but was mad aswell. Her mom took a look at the wound and I apologized, least I could do. The kid had already a hurting neck, I didn't know. Another adventure: There's this teenage girl (a daughter from two of my friends. I like her, she's cute, though today she was annoying me with punching me and grabbing me, just to get attention ot to fool around. "Punch back," they told me, but I'm not like that, I don't hit or punch young people. Later on she stopped, not that I told her, but just like that. After a while she started again, and I told her with a laugh that she must stop now, otherwise I will be black and blue, (she punched hard, and mean) though it was all for jokes and laughs. How to handle this? I didn't know, I told her to stop many times, and in the back ground I heard many times, punch her back, and so I did. 

Not even hard I turned her arm on her back, and told her, "Beg for mercy!" It was all jokes, but she was hurt afterwards and yes, I had a another crying kid among me. Sigh! Now this girl is a bit of a drama queen, I twisted her bad arm, how did I know? Right? Her Mom told me about her bad arm and told me to come with her, "Come with me, let's apologize together." I felt bad, cause I can't stand crying kids, it gets me. Go away!" She said. And I went, oh yeah, I was done for today with these people, Then I really longed for normal people, like the people at work, where I can have a normal conversation with. I returned with a bad feeling towards home, "How can I make this all good?" I thought. Maybe they all think bad of me now," was my second thought, my third thought was, "Screw it, I need normal people." Though I tried to make it up with both the kids, I sent there Mothers on Facebook a message and a asking how they are.

See, I'm a normal person, LOL!

 One mother told me not to worry, the kid with the ball has already forgotten everything. Now the teenage girl was bad though, assuming to her Mom she twisted her arm and she had to go to a doctor and do a X-ray, I sanked deeper. Though I had doubts cause, were they telling me the truth? I checked another friend of them, and she told me that they were alright, they haven't been to a Doctor. I should not worry the friend told me, "Get over it," she said. I took a shower and got over it, what a end of a great day at work. Though I learned from it, I need to speak up more, and not be so kind perhaps. Let's bring this in practice. (p.s. I can be really good with kids but these kids were different, just like there parents. The teenage girl for example is living apart from their parents, the parents are living in a shelther.)

Electrocardiography...

Electrocardiography...

I went to my Doctor this morning, first I wanted  to wait until Friday, cause I felt quit alright last night. Though the slightly chest pain came back this morning, so, I though, "Why not just go?" I'm glad I went, just to get it over with. I called for an appointment and within a hour I was  at the Doctor's, pretty fast. I told her about my chest pain and what it might causes. Though the Doctor couldn't really bring home what it might be. I told her it could be nerves or stress, or perhaps the hard work I did the last few weeks. I described it well, the pain is precisely in the middle of my chest, it feels a bit like little cramps. Or like someone is squeezing softly my chest. I can do my daily things just normally, sure I feel sometimes out of breath when I make exertion, but I have that most of the time. I got used to it. I know exactly what I can do or what I can't do. I can be busy with things and feel great, though when it's getting to busy or to rough my body will give a sign. Then I will ease down or just stop.

My Doctor send me to electrocardiography in the hospital, (Hope I spelled it right) she will send a fax to the nearest hospital and there a cardiologist will help me further. The Doctor told me that I will have to get on a bike there, and at the same time they will look how my heart response on a monitor. Ofcource I'm a bit nerves, just the way I am, lol. But I didn't have to, the Doctor told me, "We do this for just in case." Yeah, but still. Oh well. The Doctor asked me aswell if I had any Family with heart problems or any other kind of disease, I replied with, "Not that I know off." I will get a letter from the hospital with a date on it when I can come, probably next week, or perhaps this week. Nervous? Hmm, yes and no. You know? A friend of mine told me that it could be the  respiratory muscle what cause the pain, stress on the respiratory muscle. That could be yes, I worry so now and then, worry about just little things. And that may cause the chest pain aswell, oh well , the Doctor knows best.

"No free dinners for 6 weeks?"

"No free dinners for 6 weeks?" 

Yup, the free dinner on Wednesday and Thursday are off for 6 weeks, like they always do once a year. It's Summer holiday for them, can't blame them. The always cook and serve meals for free, they deserve a little vacation. But wohooow! What to do for 6 weeks? I mean, now I have to cook for two extra days. This upcoming Thursday is the last meal and then they are 6 weeks off, it will be a 'something special' meal though. I don't know what we get, but I know it's something special, just like last year.

I had soup for dinner tonight, soup out of a bag, very nice. (See picture) It was goulash soup, and I loved it. I had some left over food from last Sunday, but that meal didn't work out the way I wanted, in the bin with it. It's been a long time since I had soup, I think I will announce Thursday as soup day... For 6 weeks long, LOL! And on Wednesday I will keep it simple and cheap. The free dinner on Monday just stays, these people don't do holidays. I'm happy with the free dinners, it taste good and saves alot of money.

Work went well today, gosh I went from left to right, from section A to section B, and from B to A again. I was needed, they said it literally. "Mirsjad (name fellow worker) needs you there," or, "We really need you here." It's nice to hear that, it gives me a boost. Though it was a bit hectic, I like to help out and I really do my best, but sometimes I have to think at my self aswell, right? This morning I went with the same chest pain as yesterday morning on my way to work, though I felt a tiny bit better. "I will see how it goes today," I thought.

And it went, yeah, slightly a bit better then yesterday, weird! It seems when I'm doing things and not think of the chest pain the pain is less. At the end of the day I was tired though, feeling exhausted, though I felt satisfied aswell. I managed to do alot, though I wanna lessen the hectic work, or the hasting in my work. I need to take more care of my health while I work. Though it feels great when I help out, or when I finnish something. I will have to keep an eye open that I'm not getting to excited or to enthusiastic. Ease on down the road Sjon!

Rain can be refreshing aswell...

Rain can be refreshing aswell... 

This morning when I went to work I was a bit worried about my chest pain, I wasn't surprised about the worrying, cause I knew I would be. I felt a light pressure on my chest when I woke up, and yes, swallowing food hurted a bit. When I took of towards work I went slowly, normally I cycle fast but this time I didn't. I was worried, though worrying makes it worse. I decided this morning to take it easy today, I thought, "I will just see what happens," the fresh air felt nice. Although the chest pain I felt enthusiastic when I arrived in the cantine at work, I saw the machines in the factory and I saw mats what weren't finished.

We are busy lately at work, I had to make several mats and I was ready for it, though I took care of my pain aswell. But it went, yeah, today's work was okay, I think the hard work and heavy lifting from last Thursday got me. I told a fellow worker this aswell, he told me that I have to say it when I can't handle the heavy work. I should yeah, and I will. Though sometimes I get to enthusiastic, and then I go for it. Weird enough I love it, it's hard work and I feel like I'm sporting then. I can't really describe that feeling, I feel exhausted but it's worth it, it gives a satisfied feeling. If my body gives a sign that I must stop or slow it down, I'm sure I will!

So, the pain in my chest? I don't know, it comes and goes. But I almost know that there's something not good, I will visit my Doctor Wednesday or Friday. Tomorrow I will work aswell, I will see how it goes then. I figured out today that this chest pain comes and goes, maybe it's just nerves or, I don't know. Doctor's know best, right? I think I will call him Wednesday morning for a appointment. No, I WILL call him Wednesday morning!

"Cooking? Keep it simple Sjon."

"Cooking? Keep it simple Sjon." 

And I will keep it simple from now on, sigh, lol! I will just stick to the easy and small recipes, how to cook  carrots or how to cook beans. Sure I can cook and prepair dinner, but if it's getting to difficult then I will skip it. It has to be tasty aswell, we all have different tastes in food, right? I tried three different meals this weekend, I failed with one, I nearly failed with two. And I ended up with two full bags of groceries and almost a empty wallet. First of was the baked cauliflower on Friday, I told already that the cauliflower was expensive, sigh! On the YouTube video they told me that the cauliflower should be cut ed and cooked first, that went easy. Then I needed to make a kind of a sauce to dip the pieces cauliflower in, flower, milk, two un-boiled eggs, salt & pepper, melted butter and olive oil.

My kitchen started to be a mess. The dip for the cauliflower failed, there was no way I could dip something in that, it was all a cluttered mess. I made a new dip, lol, but this time I used just the flower, salt & pepper and some herbs. The dipping went fine and the baking pan was ready to bake the dipped cauliflower, I crossed my fingers hoping it all went well. I had no clue how long to bake them, but it went. The potatoes were already cooked, and the cauliflower was nearly done, time to serve it, and try it out. And? It was okay, I guess a bit to much flower. Next time lessen the flower, if theirs a next time! LOL!

Saturdays meal was a fail, I took this recipe from YouTube aswell. Italian potato salad with goat cheese, and it seemed so easy. Maybe it became a failure because I left out some ingredients, I don't like black olives, and I don't like capers and garlic. I had to cook the potato's first, easy I could cook potatoes with my eyes closed. After boiling them I cut them into smaller pieces, I nearly burned my fingers. I cut the goat cheese into smaller pieces aswell. Then the sauce for the salad, ingredients what I used were.... 

Six table spoons olive oil, 20 gram parsley, (I used more then 20 gram, sigh) one teaspoon of thymus, one table spoon of vinegar and salt & pepper. I cutted the parsley and added the six tablespoon of olive oil in a bowl. After I stired up the parsley I added the thymus, vinegar (yack) and added afterwards the potatoes and goat cheese, stir, stir, stir, done. Result? Well, it looked nice but it tasted yack, lol. To much parsley, the goat cheese went warmer cause of the warm potatoes and the vinegar gave a weird after taste. Never again! LOL!

Turkish Bulgur, thatwent good, although it tasted a bit to salty. It was a easy recipe, I bought a package from the supermarket and it only needed a few extra ingredients, as the package said. Bulgur you can compare with couscous, it's easy to make IF you have the right baking pans, which I didn't had. I had to cook the bulgur in a regular pan, the same pan where I cook my potatoes in. On the package it said I needed a large cooking pan, but that pan was already in use, lol, for the sauce. The sauce was easy, add this add that and done. I used for the sauce, one onion, one green pepper, one tomato, two tablespoons of olive oil, tomato paste and...

Chicken breast. Although I didn't like tomato's, I used them anyway, I didn't wanna mess this up aswell. Though the bulgurr was 'uhm' hard to decide how to cook and where in. I used the cooking pan, I added a bit of water and a little piece of butter. When the water cooked I added the bulgur and stired like a maniac, I was afraid the bulgur would burn right trough the pan. The bulgur was done in five minutes, I stir untill the water was steamed away. The sauce for the bulgur was already done. Result? It was okay, just a bit to salty cause of the tomato paste I think, of all the meals I made this weeknd I say the bulgur was the best. 

This last week I haven't been feeling so well, even now I'm so so. I don't know why, but I feel a light presure on my chest, when I swallow food or drink I feel sometimes a tiny little stab or a pinch on my chest aswell. Ofcource this worries me, and worrying ofcource makes it worser. Do I work to hard? Is it the food changing I did the last four weeks? Is it the heat? Or is it a mixture of everything I just summed up? I have worked hard lately, yes , but I did that the last six months aswell, so I don't know. Food changing? Lately I eat different, mostly fresh and differnt kinda veggies ans seasonings. I like structure in my life, no wait...

I have structure in my life and when somethings changes then my body reacts to that change. perhaps my body reacts on the fresh veggies or different spices or seasonings. It's been warm aswell this last week, extremely warm in the house. When I get up in the morning I feel a bit short breathed, and feel that light chest pressure aswell. Perhaps I need more air in my house, or drink more water, I don't drink that much. I'm just not thirsty. I will see how it goes this week, if it still bothers me then I will see my Doctor. I'm so not a fan of Doctors, but yeah, feeling not well isn't fun either. Ugh!

I wish food wasn't so expensive...

I wish food wasn't so expensive...

I planned not that much this weekend, I decided to do my groceries in two days. One load on Friday and the rest on Saturday, perfect. Though the first load was quit expensive, grrr! I wasn't expecting that, or? Well, I wanted to prepair two different meals this weekend, just to give it a try. First I wanted to try baked cauliflower and second a potato salad, I found the recipes on the internet. Ofcource these meals needed ingredients, for the 'baked cauliflower' I needed ofcource a cauliflower but aswell flower plus salt and pepper. The flower and the pepper weren't so expensive, but (damn) the cauliflower was way expensive! 2 Euro and 79 Euro cent, and it was just a tiny one. Though I just bought it, cause I needed one. While shopping further in the store a woman told me " Next time you need cheap veggies you better go to a Turkish store, it's much cheaper there." She was right, but I forgot to think about that, the market is a good option too.

Took a few pictures today, a nice little harbor in our city. As you can see it's still nice and gorgeous weather here.

For the potato salad I needed goat cheese, (what I couldn't find first) parsley, thymus and vinegar. This recipe needed aswell black olives, garlic and capers, but I like none of those. I couldn't find the goat cheese first but it was laying with the other expensive cheeses. (sigh) I payed for 150 gram 2 Euro and 3 Euro cent! I thought, "This was once and probably never again." Ofcource I wouldn't have to buy all this, but I was determine to make this potato salad, so NO nag, nag. Sure I needed more groceries then only these ingredients, I ended up paying the groceries with a worried head, lol. I didn't expect that the price was that high, and still I needed more groceries, not much but still. This was once I thought, and never again, I need to buy cheaper groceries, or find other stores, markets, ethnic food shops/stores what are much cheaper with their food. Though it's so much fun sometimes to find a recipe and get the ingredients and try it out. 

Same harbor, I love to just sit here and stare... it's calming.

I opened up a savings account today, I want to save money for a trip next year. Flying is to expensive for me this year, but I miss so much. The trip I want to save money for is a trip to the US or Canada, or perhaps both. It's always been my dream to visit the US, and Canada? Well, I want to visit  Canada once again, it's a great country and I still have a few friends there. Mississauga it will be then, I won't visit Saf though, that would be mega awkward and probably weird. It won't be good for me either, nor for her and the kids, so no. Opening the savings account was quit easy, though I had to go to my bank first to ask for some information. I had three saving accounts to choose from, it all had to do with 'interest,' it was all new for me, my bank helped me out and it's all good now. First I had doubts to open one, But I glad I did it.

Badminton?

Badminton? 

I'm still looking for activities, and I added 'activities for singles,' aswell to my list. Recently I have that 'lonely' feeling coming up more and more, I don't know, it just came like out of knowhere. It's a oblivious feeling though, ofcource I'm having that  'lonely' feeling sometimes, I am alone! Searching for activities and social contacts calms me, there's always something but you have to search for it and you have to have some luck aswell so now and then. When I search I mostly look on the internet, Google is my favorite, and ofcource I look in the weekly newspapers and flyers. Sometimes I give the searching a rest, but today I started again. 

Today I looked for single activities and recreation sports, with the single activities I had doubts, I don't know but, it gives me a bit of a pressure. Like, "Oh when I go to a single event, I guess all the single ladies will observe me and are waiting for me to talk." Or, "...That I have to make the first attempt, oh, the pressure only thinking of that!" I rather join a club or sport or whatever and when then a nice lady crosses my path and there's a click, I will go for it. Rather that then having the pressure of, "Oh, I must!" I looked for recreation sports aswell and saw a badminton site, and this badminton club is in my city aswell. I got interested, everyone can join this, and they play every Friday night from 8:00 till 10:00, perfect! 

Though badminton is a busy activity, you have to have a good condition. This week I have been busy with work and yesterday was almost crazy, I have a bit of muscle pain, and I feel a pressure on my chest. The muscle pain is fine, I don't mind it, but the pressure on my chest worries me a bit. Joining badminton then worries me aswell, but I can always have a look and a talk with them, right? Last night when Ina dropped by we talked aswell about social contacts and activities, she is searching aswell. When I mentioned badminton her reaction was, "Oh that's nice, maybe I could join you, so we can go together.

 I thought, "Oh, okay I don't mind that, should be fun." We laughed when she asked me what she had to wear while playing badminton. Ina doesn't like polo-shirts! I told her you can put on every gym or fitness outfit.I don't know about Ina yet, but I'm gonna inform about this badminton event this upcoming week. What a warm day today, all the warmth is inside the house now aswell, I have nothing planned this weekend, only grocery buying, lol. I need alot, and I did my first ansd second load already today, tomorrow the last small part. But more about that in tomorrow's post.... Tea time!!

Sweating, sweating and sweating..

Sweating, sweating and sweating..

A extremely hot, warm day today! Almost unreal to go to work, but duty was calling today. Were busy, oh yeah, it's almost nuts. We have to work for two people it seems, sweating, heavy lifting and moving along. I worked on the same section like last Monday and last Tuesday, we had to make some mats and they had to be done for tomorrow, huge mats, all in several parts and shapes. I build a few mats, then I saw several mats. I actually saw alot of mats, it was tough and quit difficult, but I managed it. That gave a proud feeling. I saw the mats on a big electric saw, they had to be on a certain lenght, and correct. I was exhausted after work, it felt heavy on my chest, I guess today was just a bit to much.

After the free dinner I sat for a little while and jumped then under the shower. Rest is what I needed, and that's what I did. I sat for 5 minutes and then Ina wanted to come for a cuppa coffee, (I got a message on FB) Always fun having her for a visit, we talked and had a few jokes. She talks alot about her ex, but I don't mind, I enjoy talking to her, and she does with me. She is a good friend, I should have more of those. This morning I had a 'feel lonley' moment so out of knowhere. Most of the time I'm fine and okay with being alone/single, but just that sometimes you just have a moment of loneliness as a single person,just  needing that arm around you or someone who fills that little empty space, if you know what I mean....

 I hear sometimes people saying, "You must not wait for the right person to come along, go find that person, get to work, start dating maybe." I know, people should not wait, though I'm not waiting, I enjoy life, I'm quit happy, I enjoy the little things around me. But just that sometimes....I know it's just a moment.  Perhaps it's better to wait for a better moment then, lol. Moments are passing by so fast, beforeI know it's tomorrow. A new day, a new dawn, better moments for sure, I'm positive! Ina's visit was nice, I should have more visits, or I need to visit more...

"I will let hear from me as soon as I found something."

"I will let hear from me as soon as I found something." 

So, I went to a second vollunteers agency this morning, it was quit busy there. I told them my story and a few ladies helped me quickly, it was quit chaotic I must say. I'm looking for something in the weekends, my goal is to get more and more social contacts, like a group of friends or just people I know. Though they couldn't help me right away, they had something for me but that was on the day I'm working. A group of people go for a walk on every Tuesday-morning and Thursday-morning, I could just join them and so are other people. But yeah I have work then, pity! Further they had some vollunteers work for me including working or taking care of disabled people, or eldery people who are lonely or not able to go out. 

'That is not my thing, I do care about such people, but it's just to heavy on my heart. I'm not the right person for that, like I said I care, but I care TO much, and that's not healty. I couldn't leave it alone when I got home, so no, not my thing. They asked me aswell if I have been to other vollunteers agencies, I told them I was. It was quit busy in the building, people were walking in and out. The best thing what they could do for me was searching for me and look if there's something comes along what suites me, I left my le-mail and phone number. Oh well, maybe they will call me, I hope they do. When I walked out the lady told me, "I will let hear from me as soon as I found something."

Such a nice weather today, I went out for a bit in the morning and in the afternoon. Cycled and cycled, it's nice riding my bike with such weather. There's a path leading all the way to Germany in my city, though it's quit far, more then 60 km, though I would like to try it one day. Just taking my time while riding my bike, if I do that I can come along way. Oh, the place where they hold the free dinners are being renovated. The dinning room looks so much better then it used to was, oh yes! Nice new tables, a new laminate floor, walls have been painted, new chairs. It's such a difference as it was before, it looks like a brasserie now. It's still a pleasure to eat there, hats of for the renovation!!

Pictures from work!

Pictures from work! 

Nothing to anounce, nothing to declare, nothing to say, lol. It was just a day like usual, tou can compare it with yesterday. I did the same work, after two days punching holes into metal trough a machine there is a chance you can get annoyed. I had a few moments today, yes! But further it went, I got alot done this day and yesterday, I can be proud of myself. After two day sweating (it's warm) and working, it's to for a resting day. Tomorrow the weather will be nice aswell, Thursday there's a chance for thunder and rain.

Work!

The mean machine! This is the machine where I worked with the last two days. You see the stealen pins? The punch the holes in the material. Kedeng! Earplugs needed. 

The mean machine again, it punches 25 holes at once... 

The material where the holes been punched trough... This material is needed the hold the carpet. (or other material) 

The mats, these mats are just a part of a whole mat. 

Zoomed in on a mat. You see the material what goes in. Aluminium and carpet/rubber.  Many stores uses such kinda mats, we can make them in many shapes, even round mats.

The complete mat, it's ready to export to Amsterdam. Where the mat will be layed in a store by one of our profesional layers. 

Two of the fellow workers who make the mats! This section where I wored thge last two days, is not the section where I usually work. They make other kind of mats here... 

My working shirt, my pride and joy. I hope to work here untill I'm 65 or longer. 

This is Minie, she works hard, oh yes! She's over 60, and I never seen someone of her age work so fast and hard. After work she does vollunteers work for disabled people. Respect! 

Minie again, she looks so healty. I surely wouldn't give her over 60!

Tomorrow's Wednesday.... let's see what that day brings. I hope alot of Sjon-shine.

Just another manic Monday!

Just another manic Monday! 

What can I say about this day? Not much really, Monday is a working day, and work went well. I worked at a other section, not that fun, but okay. I did what I had to do, working with one machine a whole day, this machine punches holes into a mat. It's kinda boring but I always try to find a way to make it not boring. I try to do it fast, uhm, I try to do it that it goes easier and faster, that's my way of working. I always try to make it easier and a bit faster. It makes it less boring. Tomorrow I will be working at the same section, oh well, I don't mind. There's a guy at the office and he does the planning, he plannes every worker on the sections. Sometimes this section has it busy or that section has it busy, it just depends what customer we have. 

But enough about work, I'm enjoyning my free evening, lol. I'm planning to sign in at another vollunteers company this coming Wednesday. (that will be the second one)  I need to start working more and more on my social contacts. Sometimes I just let it be for what it is, that's not good. Wednesday I will sign up, I will visit the company and I will see and hear what they have to say. This company is easily to compair with the other vollunteers company, I'm pretty excited to go. My counselor has signed me up for 'Buddy wanted,' it's also a vollunteers company, but then slightly different. I will get a counselor (again) and he or she will help me to find something what involves vollunteers work, a day activity, social contacts, etc, etc. 

The counselor will help me for a short time period, well short? For 8 or 9 months he or she will help me around. Can't wait!! I need to get started!

"You have to sit by the side of a river a very long time before a roast duck will fly into your mouth."

"You have to sit by the side of a river a very long time before a roast duck will fly into your mouth."

Just bumped into the tittle above while I was searching for one, lol, funny right? I always start with a tittle when I start writing a post. But anyway, on with the Sunday. What to say about this day? Not much actually, Sunday is my day, a rest day. A day when I rest and prepair myself for the Monday or the upcoming week. I try to sleep in, but the last three days I was up early. When I'm awake I mostly get up, and take my medication. The last three days I got up just before 7:00 am, there was no need to though.

While I'm writing this post I hear noises from downstairs, lol. I'm getting new (under) neighbors, they are from Turkey. I'm not surprised, cause Almelo is almost the capitol of Turkey, lol. I don't mind, I like seeing different cultures, seeing how they do things and how they behave. It's sometimes quit interesting aswell. Near my home is a little mosque, (no, not on the praire!) when the Turkish people have a fest, they all go to that mosque to celebrate or to pray. The streets are packed then, cute too to see the kids then all dressed up. 

I have no clue who's going to live under me though, I only know that he or she is Turkish. There moving in now, I mean they are busy with decorating and prepairing the house. Family, relatives, friends, they all are here, helping out a hand. I hope they keep the noise down a bit before I go to bed, I need my sleep aswell. They have been decorating and prepairing quit a long time now, Four or five weeks now I think. Tomorrow's gonna be a busy day aswell at work, I will be all rested out and ready. 

If I wasn't being overwhelmed with so much love and kindness back then, I would have never had made the decision to go to Canada.

If I wasn't being overwhelmed with so much love and kindness back then, I would have never had made the decision to go to Canada.

Reading posts back in my blog can be fun and bring back good memories, but aswell bad memories. Specially the first few months... ofcource, cause of the break up. There was a line in one of my posts that bothered me, "You loved me more then I did." I know after a break up you get those missleading talks from exes, I should just ignore it, though it isn't that easy sometimes. About her saying 'You loved me more then I did,' when Saf and I first met online I was carefull and took it very easy, the kind words and love from her were ofcource nice but I was on my hood. I been hurted and been let down a few times, and that isn't fun. But Saf was serious... And slowly, step by step I felt for her too. "She fell in love with me," I couldn't believe it! This is serious, it's a 100%, I knew it. I could tell by every detail, every word and every action she did towards me. Long chats, everyday emails, her kids on the phone, wake up calls, every day phone calls from her, day in day out. 

And then the big step towards Canada, we were serious, "This woman loves me, and I feel great." I was scared falling in love though, Saf was my very first love , my very first relationship. I knew for sure that it would be difficult, I hoped I could handle myself. I told Saf already before my first meeting, "I have been waiting so long for this, I'm a ticking lovebomb!" And the bomb went off, I have been spoiled with love, kindness, gifts, and lots of attention. We were both happy and in love. Though as the months past by the so called ups and downs came along. I really had to get used to this new life, it was here and there quit overwhelming. Everything went by so, so fast, no time for thinking, just go, go, go! But this realtionship was really what I wanted, I went for it, fought for it. Then the break up in December 2010, I was done, I was exhausted. The love, kindness and attention were getting less and less, "You loved me more then I did," yes, untill the end........

Those missleading sayings or words are not hurting anymore, it's fine, it's been good, I learned from my time in Canada. I became stronger and wiser, it's been a far away trip but it was surely worth it! Oh yes!! I can close it now and see it as a good memory and a great adventure. Alright, on with this day. It's been a calm day, I rested and did here and there a few things. I bought a hoover today, lol, or a vacuum cleaner, so many ways to call it. They were on sale for a nice price, I bought a nice red one.It's so cute and small, tomorrow Iwill try it out. My second time cooking fresh beans went well,this time it was even better I must say. I didn't add onions and tomato sauce like last time, I didn't like that. I cooked the beans for 5 minutes, then throwed them in a pan where I already added butter. Heated them up on a low fire and then added a bit of oregano. Yum!

"Friday on my mind!"

"Friday on my mind!"

Thank God it's Friday as some people say, I don't mind though what day it is. Weekends are nice, but in the weektime I have a jolly good time aswell. Though the Friday means that the needed 'rest' has started. I had a nice sleep, I went to bed not that late, I think it was around 11:00. I got up around 7:00, and took it easy. I started the first load of laundry early, around 8:00. I have such a load of laundry, lol. Last few days were warm, exhausted warm! When it gets to warm in Holland we get thunder, this morning we had the first explodes with lots of rain. Dang! I just was about to get my weekly groceries when suddenly the clouds were getting darker and darker, "Now I have to run," I thought. 

But after I putted my clothes and shoes on it already started to rain. I decided to wait till the rain stopped, I thought of a nap first aswell, lol. But then again I wanted to get things done in the morning, so I can rest in the afternoon. I will be going out for a little while in the evening, but more about that later. The rain stopped and quickly I putted on my coat and took off, first stop the Doctor, for my blood results and new medication. I was not even 10 seconds on my way and the rain poored down again, sigh, quickly I rushed over to the trainstation, it was the nearest where I could go. Oh dear, it poored down pretty hard. After 20 minutes it was dry again and I continued my journey. 

Hiding for the rain this morning at the train station...

 I spotted a air balloon in the evening, it was much closer then it looked on the picture...

At the Doctor's I got to hear that my bloodresults are good, stable and good. That was good to hear. Though if they would have said that it wasn't so good I wouldn't be surprised aswell. It's sometimes hard to say how I feel with this sick thyroid, then I'm tired and then not, then I feel this or that and then I'm feeling good again, it's almost like a jojo going up and down. Anyway, on to the grocerie store I went, I like doing my weekly shopping, I take my time and I don't rush trough the store, lol. Recently I buy just a bit more then usualy cause of the fresh vegatables and I like to try new food what I usualy don't eat, or just a bit of a expensiver product. Last week I bought butter for the bread, but not the usual butter, no, olive oil butter. 

Excitment all around! In the store I will decide what to eat for the comming weekend, this time I took (again) the fresh carrots and beans, I had them before and they were nice. When I got back towards home it was still dry, no rain. But it was warm, oh my! In the afternoon I took my rest, napped and went on the laptop. Like I said, in the evening I will go out to a old resident from Humanitas, it's Ricardo's Mom. I promised her to come again for a visit after I went there somewhere in January. But I had to chancel it a few times, tonight around 6:30 I took off, wow, it was hot outside, atleast it was dry. The visit was nice, I stayed there for a 90 minutes. We both aren't such a talkers, we watched tv and had a coffee, we talked aswell ofcource but not that much. 

Rest is needed...

Rest is needed...

I have been out quit a few weekends now but this weekend I'm thinking of staying here and take my rest, it's been a busy week and today at work was busy aswell. I'm actually looking forward to do not that much these following days, I will enjoy myself with my cooking, and enjoy my rest. Tomorrow I will go first  to my Doctor for my blood results, and afterwards my usual Friday's grocery shopping. I have no clue what to prepair for dinner tomorrow or the following days, lately I always try something new. Trying new fresh veggatables is my favorite, three weeks ago I tried to cook fresh beans, after that it were the fresh carrots and last week the brocoli, all with succes. They all were delicious, perhaps I will try the fresh beans again, I will see.

Like I said, work was busy today, I worked on my own section with the leader of that section, his name is Mirsjad and was born in Croatia. He's alot younger then me, he's around 30 and works like a horse, no one can keep up with him.We got much done, at the end of the day. It was here and there a bit overwhelming but okay, I managed to finnish my order what I needed to finnish today, and a bit more plus the rest. I like the way Mirsjad works, he's a bit like me, though I have a limit, I can't go for a 100% cause of my thyroid, and I surely won't. I do what I can do, with sometimes just that little bit more if I feel I can. I said it before, I love the work I do! Though there is something, uhm, how do you say it.... 

...There are groups formed at work. I mean, uhm, let me explain, we have differnt kind of workers at work, we have the Turkish people, we have the Croatian people and the Ducth people. It isn't that weird that most of the Turkish people sit with each other and the Croatian people join them. With the breaks they sit with each other aswell and not in the cantine but just outside or just inside  the factory. The rest of the workers mostly Dutch and some Turkish people sit in the cantine while having our breaks. Why? Uhm, perhaps they don't want to sit with us according to the Dutch people, and there were here and there a few jokes going around... 

In my eyes they are sitting somewhere esle because of the language and I think aswell because they are foreigners... they join each other. I think there's nothing wrong with that, let them, it's fine with me. I sit in the cantine aswell, cause that's the place where I always sit with breaks, I'm used to it. Though I hear here and there a few complains of the Dutch people, they are asking themselves why 'they' don't sit with us, following up to that the usual joke around. I think that's a part of the why they sit somehwere else. I heard yesterday from my Boss that the atmosphere is gone, "It isn't as it was before anymore, in the past they all sat with each other," said my Boss. 

Today I heard from Mirsjad that there were here and there a few bad jokes about foreigners from some workers in the past, that's a part aswell why 'they' sit alone, add 'foreigners join each other easily because of the language,' and there you have it. I think that's a pity, they should just join us, but I guess it's maybe to late for that, we all are used to it now. About forming groups, I wasn't quit right, ofcource there's here and there sometimes some jokes and aswell some complains from the Dutch people, but we ALL talk and communicate aswell with each other, there are no enemies and there's no hate. Maybe we just have to accept that 'they' sit somewhere else, and that they search each other up for a talk or a joke, it's all fine with me.

I think this 'topic' will be continued in the following posts so now and then.... "The atmosphere is gone," last week I heard someone saying, "Atmosphere is what you make yourself."

Early visitors...

Early visitors...

Everything was on schedule this morning, I had it all planned in my head. Cleaning and dusting before the 'visitors' arrive for the 'farewell party,' (read: last meeting) A guy will show up aswell between 8:00 am and 11:30 am, he's gonna check the water in the house. (Measuring?) That was fine aswell, It all fitted in my plan. The visitors will show up at 12:00, and all went fine, untill............. my counselor suddenly showed up around 10:00. I thought, "Wow, he's early," but I didn't say anything. He told me when he came in, "Maybe you needed some help or have some questions before the meeting." We sat down and spoke a little, I surely wasn't ready yet. I still needed a wash up and had to prepair the coffee, tea and waffles. But I still had time I thought. My counselor said,  "You know the meeting starts at 10:30, right? "What," I said, "What, I thought it was 12:00! "No, 10:30, the others will be here in ten minutes."

A little panic started, I rushed over to the kitchen and prepaired the coffee, tea and the waffles, the waffles needed butter. Then on to my daily wash up, then the doorbell went, the guy for the water check up arrived. The guy came in and did his job, not even five seconds later the first visitor showed up, my counselor from Humanitas. I still had a butter knife in my hand with butter on it when I guided her in. I welcomed her and she sat down. I finnished the waffles and waited for the other visitors. (The daily wash up can wait, I thought, I'm pretty enough! LOL) My Boss from work showed up shortly after that, surprising that she came, it did me good. I served coffee, tea and the buttered waffles and the meeting started. The meeting was nice, first was the round of introducing. My Boss seemed pretty excited and was interested in everything what was going around me, the persons, what I have been trough, Canada, etc, etc. 

That was nice to see, I didn't quit expect that. The whole meeting went good, it was nice to hear from everyone what I all have achieved and managed, it rained compliments. My Boss wanted to know what excactly happened after Canada, she quit knew my story but not everything. I explained it but stumbled a few times in my words, although it was a comfy meeting it was quit chaotic too sometimes. After my explaining I nearly shedded a tear, I went trough alot, and it's been a while since I told 'that' story. The meeting was a succes, they stayed for 90 minutes. I can be proud of myself for what I achieved. Though the last thing what still has to be achieved is social contacts, that's still a point that bothers me and my counselor. We talked about it in the meeting aswell, now there's a company/agency called 'Buddy wanted,' and my counselor will be signing me up for that. 


'Buddy wanted' is a company/agency what helps you searching for social contacts, I have heard about it, but I have let it be. I though I could manage it it on my own, but I got a bit stuck with finding new social contacts or vollunteers work. It just is hard to find something, so a little help is always welcome, right? I will get a call for a intake after I am signed up, then someone will help me with finding those needed social contacts. It's all new for me aswell, so I can't explain much about 'buddy wanted.' All I know that it's almost the same as getting a counselor for a certain time, just like I had with my ol' counselor. Only 'this' counselor will help me with social contacts. I'm looking forward to it! I will be searching aswell, like I always did, but now I will get help with that, sounds good to me.

Sore muscles!

Sore muscles!

I came back from work, sat down, and I didn't wanna get up. I wanted to shower and after that warming my dinner in the microwave, I was tired. After 6:00 I finally got up and took my shower, and afterwards warmed up my rice with sauce and chicken, yum! The shower did me good, perhaps it's a good cure against sore muscles. Work went well, it's busy, almost daily new orders come in. In the late afternoon someone from the office came towards me and asked me if I can get 'a order' done before Friday. Our 'first' man from our section was busy elsewhere, so the person from the office asked me, lol. I told her that we can arrange that yes, on Friday. And she walked off. 

The 'first' man told me later that it will be a tough job to get 'that order' done on Friday, "I will let you do 'that order' on Thursday," and he winked at me. In other words, you told at someone to the office that it can be done, so you do it. I can do it yes, but it will be tough and hard, I will do my best. Ofcource they will help me when I don't get it done, but I will try to finish it myself. I know it's all jokes, but I didn't remember that we have other orders aswell this week that has to be done, lesson learned! Everything is almost done for the 'farewell party from my counselor. Only here and there a bit cleaning and tidying up, and then were done. Tomorrow at 12:00 they will come for a little hour.

Saf replied to my mail last night, she was friendly and that's the way I like it. She told me how she was doing and asked me a few things of how I was doing, and here and there a few tips from her. It was a comfy and nice mail, it did me good. Although we broke up, and although I won't return to her and her kids, I like that we can still mail to each other. So now and then a message should be good, were no enemies, we don't hate each other. This is how I wanted it, the love is over but we will remain as good friends. I hope that will last.

Cold!!

Cold!!

I can't believe that I layed on the beach a month ago, it must have been a dream. I'm cold, I have put a second blanket on my bed, and don't know if or when I'm gonna put the heater on. Though I worked with short sleeves today, a bit cold in the morning but later on it went warmer. Work went fine today, I had a few moments I felt pressure on my chest, that wasn't a pleasant feeling. It worried me and I decided to take it easy, yeah, I should rest more when I have days of. Later on I felt a bit better, lately I have to go to the bathroom more often then normal aswell for a 'small message.' If you know what I mean. Last night while I had my sleep I had to get up three times for that small message. Normally I never have to get up. 

Work was busy, some orders had to be done today, and some this week. Never a boring moment at our section lately, I like it. Though the chest pain worries me slightly a bit, Wednesday I will ask for the blood results for my thyroid at my Doctor. I wonder what the results will be, I guess I have to take care of my energy just a bit more, spread my energy over the days and take my rest. Sometimes I feel great and then I just give it a bit more then usual. over-excited I guess. Anyway, we will see... Last Saturday night I sent Saf a tiny letter trough the mail, why? I don't know, I thought, why not? It's been a while since I let hear from me, two or three months. Just a tiny regular message with asking hows she is doing and how the kids are. 

Were not enemies, we broke up and that's all. I could aswell not let hear from me, and let the two years I have been in Canada just be, like nothing has happened. Although we broke up we had some fun and good times aswell, I just can't forget that, it's a nice memory. once or twice a year sending a mail would be nice, maybe it fades away as the years go by, I don't know. Saf didn't reply yet.

Sunday, rainy day!

Sunday, rainy day! 

Rain, lots of rain today. Almost non-stop it went on and on, perfect to stay inside today. As usual I didn't do much today, ironing, and I cleaned the til's in the kitchen, that needed a good rub. There was some noise today from my new Turkish neighbors, there about to move in. They take their time, I think there already been busy for quit a few weeks now. Sometimes the noise is annoying but okay, it brings some life in the flat aswell, I don't mind. I have no clue who's going to live beneath me, I only know that the person is Turkish. When 'they' are working on the aapartment they are coming with lots of people, family, friends, relatives. It's nice and interesting to see them moving and working aswell, it's all going in harmony with lots of noise. Turkish people always talk loud I assume, laughing, singing.

Yesterday's dinner, I must say since I'm eating fresh vegetables my belly feels fuller then usual. I nearly can't finish my plate, lol, perhaps smaller portions is better. My stomach needs to get used to this food changing I guess aswell...

I like living in this flat, it gives me the feeling that I don't live alone, That gives a comfy feeling, when I enter this flat, I always have that feeling that I'm not on my own, I'm living with other persons in a flat. Okay, we know it now Sjon, lol! It will be a full week again this coming week, lots to at work, the so called, 'Farewell party' from my counselor, hope I get some rest aswell. Lately I'm  more out of breath then usual when I come to rest, sometimes that heavy feeling on my chest, just like I had last Saturday morning at Ikea. I have enough resting days from work, on theser resting days I need to get my rest. And not run around from here to there. I guess I need to divide my energy a bit more, and not think I can do it all at once. Like my Doctor once said, "Do what you can, and if it's not posible, then don't."

"I don't need a car."

"I don't need a car."

I'm 44 years old and I never owned a car, I had driving lessons though, but failed two times with theory. The nerves killed me, I stopped after several lessons, it just wasn't my thing. But hey I tried it! I never had the urgent or the need to take lessons again, I was fine. I could go where I wanted with the train, bus, bicycle or with a taxi. Though there were sometimes a few times I wish I had a car, that was when my Dad had to go to the hospital for his check ups, or for his little accidents. My Aunt and Uncle drove him always then. My Aunt nagged to me in that time that it was really time that I get a car, she was right then but it was impossible for me to get a car then. No job, less income, I just couldn't afford a car. Even now I can't afford it, and even I could afford it I wouldn't get one I think. I'm so used to not have a car, if I had one I guess it would just stand there, lol. 

Ikea on the left and the bus stop on the right...

 Today was Ikea on my to do list, I googled the directions by train or bus or both. It was kinda easy to get to Ikea, just hop on the train and then hop on the bus for a few minutes, the bus dropped me nearly of at the front door from Ikea. The whole trip took less then a half an hour, love it! Ikea was quit busy with here and there a few screaming and playing kids, that's what you can expect on a Saturday. Although it was still early in the morning, it was getting busier. But I enjoyed the shopping, taking my time and have a good look around, the busy crowd I took for granted, lol! Ikea has such nice stuff, and all for a reasonable price. Though I couldn't take that much with me cause I was with the bus and train, (I don't need a car." Hahaha!) I saw a nice tv cabinet but it was to heavy to cary with me, aswell a nice painting, to big, but oh so nice! 

Carpets in all sizes and colors at Ikea...

I bought a few items what I needed and what I kinda needed. I bought a collander, a bowl, a duvet, two nice brown buckets for the cd's, a cutting board, pillow chases, and a Swedish sandwich with small meatballs, lol. After several hours I went back towards home, I was tired and I kinda got what I needed, I was satisfied. Still it amazed me that the bus and the train were so easy, in a no time I was home. I still needed a few groceries, I did that right away when I got home. Afterwards I took a nap......................... I slept more then two hours, dang! The last few days I have been running around a bit to much I guess, tomorrow it's rest, rest and rest. This coming week will be busy aswell at work, it's all good. When I take enough rest, it will be fine.

Picture time!

Picture time! 

I did quit alot today instead of resting, though I took my usual nap(s) aswell, ofcource cause it was needed. I was tired and had a bit of a heavy feeling on my chest, but what had to be done had to be done, right? I decided to take some blood for my thyroid, I'm almost out of medication so, it was time. My Doctor gave me medication with a higher doses cause I had so now and then heavy or fast heart beats, that's a sign that my blood levels for my thyroid were just a bit to high. Taking the blood went well, I felt it but no ouch, lol. 

The results I will hear from the doctor next week, I think I'm alright with the levels, but ofcource if or when I continue with the higher medication the levels will get higher or lower again. I'm used to it. After the blood taking I did my usually Friday's groceries shopping. After my first nap and lunch I took of the the second hand store in another village, but didn't succeed with buying stuff, I decided to go to the nearest garden centre near my house. I succeeded there, I bought a few things I needed. (See the pictures)  I had a nice day, the weather was good aswell, here and there a cloud but the temperature felt nice...

Now some pictures!

I'm having fun at cooking, I bought a kitchen skirt, LOL! 

Very first time prepairing fresh carrots, but I guess I was a bit to overwhelming with the brown sugar. Just a bit to much, I'll remember it for next time.

Found this bush of carrots in the store, not even one Euro! You can see they are fresh right?

I bought this today at the garden centre, this store looks a bit like Ikea, but they sell mostly plants and flowers. I needed some decoration on the wall in my little kitchen.

I was so excited when I bought this at the garden centre, I like the color! It suits so well, tomorrow I will be putting something on it, perhaps a plant or....

I like taking pictures, I always have my camera with me, where ever I go. I took this picture a week ago I think in my city, I saw these highland cattle's and I had to take a picture of this beauty.

One more....

Ducks in the park as always, you really have to be aware where they lay or walk, they just walk or lay everywhere... 

These are nice too, but these were behind fences. Ofcource otherwise they will cross the road. They were making so much noise...


















Tomorrow should be a nice day too.... I'm going to Ikea! Watch your money Sjon! I will, don't worry.