"Press any key.... Where is the any key?"

"Press any key.... Where is the any key?" 

A few weeks ago I had a message from my provider, (Telfort) before that I couldn't get on the internet, my screen had a message from Telfort, saying  there might be major problems with your computer, there is a major virus found called rootkit on your computer. Further the message on the screen said that I had to check my Email for further details, well I couldn't get on the internet cause Telfort shut it down, for I don't know how long. On the bottom of the screen was a little message saying, "Reboot your modem and try again." After I did that it took me five minutes to be back on the internet again, yay, but akward. There was nothing wrong with the internet, it worked just fine. Later that day I checked my Email, searching for the details from Telfort.

I found the message and it said.... "NOTE: This email contains important information about a security problem that your Internet connection is detected. Please read this email carefully.

 We have found that one of the computers you are using potentially is infected with a rootkit virus, and that's a part of a botnet. A botnet is a network of infected computers, who can be controlled to perform all sorts of (illegal) orders by one single person. Further more personal data through a botnet can be stolen, such as passwords, surfing habits, address, etc.b In this case there is a torpig / mebroot infection found.
 Torpig (which is usually found with Mebroot) is a botnet. It is nestled in the MBR (Master Boot Record), the piece on the hard disk that is loaded before your OS. It is possible that your virus scanner can not find anything, not even in safe mode. It is therefore important that you at least scan the two tools mentioned in this email. Torpig focuses to steal sensitive information, thinking of banking information, credit cards, paypal accounts, but also passwords you use for different services. Possibly one computer (s) remotely send instructions for the botnet infection.
 

Telfort sent me some links to help out... 

Mebroot is quite difficult to remove, there are some tools that can help:

 http://www.malwarebytes.org/ (run the update after installation, and then a full scan. Check carefully what is found)   

http://support.kaspersky.com/faq/?qid=208283363
 Use both tools to ensure that nothing can be found on your MBR. Are you using Windows Vista or Windows 7, do not forget the tool to run as administrator / administrator, using right click on the file and choose Run as administrator.
 Do you have a wireless network, make sure it is protected by WPA or WPA2. WEP is not sufficient, because within two minutes to crack. A secure wireless network prevents third parties may use your connection, so an infected computer can connect to your connection with these complaints. I have a WPA2 connection, so I'm good with that.
 Should you opt for a system reinstallation, it is important that the MBR is rewritten. If you reinstall Windows using the CD you can delete all existing partitions, then a new one. Additional information about Mebroot / Torpig can be found on the following pages.
 http://www.nucia.eu/forum/showthread.php?t=46403&highlight=mebroothttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torpighttp://www.symantec.com/security_response/writeup.jsp?docid=2008-010718-3448-99http://www.forum.pcbeveiligen.nl/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=331
 It is important to you as soon as possible to send a response to this warning.If we receive no response, security and the problem persists, it may be that we will temporarily block your Internet connection until the problem is resolved. We would like to hear your response on whether the scans are actually things found. 

With kind regards, Ramond Teunissen, Telfort abuseteam.

I responded with 3 email's telling them what I did, I downloaded the Malwarebyte scan and did a full scan, within a hour the scan was done. Nothing was found. Second I downloaded the Kaspersky scan tool, it was a system scan, this tool was done in 10 minutes and nothing was found. Still I was on the internet, sigh! Within two days Telfort responded on my 3 messages...
 

Dear Mr. Veldhuis,
 When both scanners have found nothing, then this will mean that this problem still exists. If this PC is not the only PC that is connected, please also perform the scans on other computers. If on other PCs not found (or when only one PC), please check the following:
 Do you have a wireless network? Make then sure it is protected by WPA or WPA2. WEP is not sufficient. A secure wireless network prevents third parties may use your connection, so an infected computer can connect to your connection with these complaints.


 I checked it!! And I told them twice I have a WPA2 connection!
 
There are some additional tools available which you can use to identify this problem:
 http://www.eset.eu/download/emebremoverftp://ftp.f-secure.com/anti-virus/tools/fsbl.exehttp://www.gmer.net/ # fileshttp://www.microsoft.com/security/malwareremove/default.aspx
 To check the MBR, you can use:
 http://public.avast.com/ gmerek ~ / aswMBR.htmhttp://ad13.geekstogo.com/MBRCheck.exe
 Both tools check your MBR and see if there is a rootkit at present. Are you using Windows Vista or Windows 7,do  not forget the tool to run as administrator / administrator, using right click on the file and choose Run as administrator.
 GMER is a root scanner, trying to determine if your computer is actually infected with a rootkit. MBR.exe, which originates from the same site can look for root kits that have hidden themselves in the MBR. Note that some malware does not allow you to visit the links above, or the downloaded software upgrade.
 In this case, please keep us informed of the results of scans.
 Should you opt for a system reinstallation, it is important that the MBR is rewritten. If you reinstall Windows using the CD you can delete all existing partitions, then a new one.
 Sincerely / With Kind regards,
 Raymond Teunissen
 Telfort Abuse Team.

Kinda Akward to say that,  "When both scanners have found nothing, then this will mean that this problem still exists." Right? Well I think I know that my new laptop is okay, but my second 'old' one could be a problem. So I did a full scan there to from Malwarebyte plus a Ksspersky system scan too, the Malwarebyte scan took almost 3 hours, damn! In those three hours I took a nap, did grocery, and shaved my hair, lol. I was kinda tired of those Telfort messages though, they keep sending mails. Internet works, leave me alone! I was told that Telfort does that, if they sence there´s something going on they block the person from the ingternet, sigh! It´s safety I know but still, if it works, leave it alone. Anyway the Malwarebyte was nearly done and nothing was found, but! 

Avast found something, and yes it was the evil rootkit virus! Avast asked me if I want to get rid of the virus, uhm, duh, YES!?  I had to restart the laptop and then it should have been gone, after restarting my second old laptop, avast did automaticly another scan, and that was it. So I know now that my second laptop has/had a virus. Ugh! UGH! Always something with computers, tomorrow I will check the old laptop again and use the other tools to what Telfort sent me, and after that I will inform them what I did, cause otherwise they will un-connect me from the internet. Can I say bastards? Hmm, I know it's to get my computer or provider save again, but still. Anyway on with the day... 

Today was okay, I got up on a nice time, around 6:30 I think. Worked on the computer, fixing it. I went aswell to ING, to ask for some envelopes and for some information about 'adress changes,' ING neededto know that I have moved to another adress. Still my Doctor needs to know aswell that I have moved, but it's not that important yet, I will do that next week when I will ask for my blood results. I have now contact trough Hotmail with my new conselour aswell, a nice relief, I dislike phones, lol. By the way his name is Sohoya, I will get used to that name, lol. 

I did my grocery and I planned to go out tomorrow, not sure yet though, but in the end I will go anyway, lol. There's a huge indoor flea market tomorrow and Sunday's, it's quiet a bike ride but anyway, I will see. I think it's a 30 minute ride with a bike, the town is called 'Hengelo.' I sure love flea markets, specially now, who knows what I will find there what I can use for the house, right? I should just go, yeah, I'm going tomorrow! Dinner was nice, potatoes (been a while) with red cabbage and a sausage, desert was vanille cream pudding. After dinner I went on my laptop, it still works the internet, (knock three times, lol) I keep my fingers crossed. 

TGIT, Thank God it's Thursday! Weekend!!

TGIT, Thank God it's Thursday! Weekend!!

Yay! Weekend, time for some rest and some time for myself. It's a nice mix I must say, it's nice to meet my workers at work, and it's nice to meet the old residents at Humanitas and at the free dinner, but in the weekends or mostly on every evening it's nice aswell to be on my own a bit. That will change though, cause I want to get out more, join a sport or a club, find a hobby, ect, ect. But for now it's nice, I like it.  I'm doing well, I like how it is at the moment, I see people and I have my privacy aswell. Today I had a good start, I worked today and it went good. As the day went by I was getting tired though, the end of the week sneaked in and took away my energy. Like always in the end of the week, it's a sign I need my rest and my relaxation.

There's a guy working at Reha and I think I mentioned him before, his name is Mark. Mark went with me a few months ago to Ikea, to pick out the laminate I wanted and the matrass. Mark has a light form of ADHD, he's rough and he's a little to busy so now and then, but he's nice aswell. Sometimes he can be annoying cause of his ADHD, he's then to loud, to busy, and sometimes to rough. Today he he had a accident at work, and we all saw it comming. Most of us were saying to each other, "One day he will get a accident if he goes on like that." Mark works rough and fast. Like last Monday me and Mark  had to saw wood into little square parts, 7cm by 7cm, we used the major electric saw for that. (see picture underneath)

At work we have a saw like this, we used it for the wood we had to saw in little squares.

The wood we had to saw was bad and very fragile, some of the wood you could brake apart just like that. We had to saw little square parts of it, 7cm by 7cm. I was carefull cause the first one I had to saw the saw went a bit wild, I had to pull the electric but aswell push it a bit back, cause first the sawing went heavy and suddenly it went like crazy. You could say I had to stire the saw a bit trough the wood, when I did it a few times I was getting used to it, but still, safety first. I had to be carefull and take it easy. Mark didn't mind that much while sawing, he was carefull but not as carefull as I was, he wanted this to be done, with a little bit of his ADHD and his roughness he went crazy but steady. If the saw stummbled he did't wait but pulled it trough the wood like he had a axe in his hand. So wrong.

Another worker and I looked at him and I said to him, "One day he will regret this." He agreed. The day after Mark did the same work, sawing and pulling, untill the saw suddenly stopped. The saw was overheated, no wonder! Mark had to go on another electric saw and the Boss told him to take it easy this time, and he did. This Morning Mark had to make something for a friend of him, he walked to the little electric saw, most of the workers were in another hall. Wae have two halls, one hall is where all the odered wood comes in and some of the wood will be sawed. in the other hall is where all the furniture will be made, My section, lol. Anyway, Mark had to saw something on the little electric saw in hall B, suddenly he walks the other hall in and shouts, "I need help cause I'm bleeding."

The type of saw Mark used.

Most of us were not paying much attention on him, cause we were busy, we thought he just needed a bandage. Later on the Boss went with him towards the cantine and put a bandage on him, lots of bandage. When I saw him I went a bit pale and felt nauseos, just the idea that he had his hand in the saw (it wasn't that bad though) made me feel a bit eeek! And ouch! Mark was taken to the Hospital, first aid. He could walk though, the pain was okay and he talked normal. Another worker looked at the saw and cleaned up the tiny little spots of blood, it was needed (sorry) All workers felt a bit eek and nauseos, Mark came back later and had a clean bandage on and his arm in a esmarchbandage. He smiled and made a few jokes, sight, that's Mark. The Doctor adviced hime to take a week rest. Oops, Mark and rest? Right!

Mark had a huge scarf in two fingers, he was luck though that he didn't dammaged his tendons. He was brought home and we all went back to work, I had the same work in the afternoon I did like last Monday, sawing the little square parts (7cm by 7cm)  Yep, the bad wood was still there. I had to saw it on the major saw together with Henkie. With still the thought's of Mark I and Henkie went to work, but first we cleaned up, "Nothing works better with a clean spot, safety first!" Said Henkie. I agreed with him, the sawing went fine, we took our time and took it easy. Still I think it's better to have more safety on our work, I mean we have 3 electric saws in one hall, anything can happen, and then? Ofcource the 'Dutch labour inspectorate' will visit us after what happened with Mark, I'm happy with it. Safety first! 

The Dutch Labour Inspectorate is a part of the Ministry of Social Affairs and Employment and oversees the work as the rules surrounding workplace legislation. The monitoring shall include the keeping of inspections. For violations, the Labor fines.

Today was a nice day, a bit sad about Mark, but hey, I hope he learned from it. Today aswell I had a phonecall from my new counselor, he made a appointment with the lady who I (tried) to talk with about the switching of the bank account numbers at the cityhall. Me and my counselor have some things to settle and arrange there, finally I can make a start to settle a few things, sigh! I hope it all turns out well, I'm sure it will.  Now I have weekend, tomorrow I ordered myself to do a few things aswell like my counselor does also. But surely I will take my rest and my relaxation too, Planning some 'me' time. I'm ready for the weekend!

Life is too deep for words, so don’t try to describe it, just live it.

Life is too deep for words, so don’t try to describe it,  just live it.

Another full day has ended, and everyday I achieve something. That should be my goal, achieve something everyday, doesn't matter if it's small or big, everything counts, right? I woke up early tand took my time to wake up slowly, It was 6:15 and red some flyers, then breakfast at 7:00, then getting ready for my bloodwork and a visit to the city hall. Bloodwork should be done in no time I thought, but when I arrived at the Doctor's for getting my bloodwork papers I saw that the whole staff was on vacation, the office was dark and I saw a note with written on it where to to go get a (following) Doctor. Sigh! The note said aswell where I had to be to visit that Doctor, Bellavista street Number 18. I kinda knew where I had to go but for just incase I asked a lady who was cleaning. 'This is prolly gonna be a long morning," I thought.

Arrived at the Bellavista street, I walked into the building, (I have been there before) and walked to the desk and had to wait. There was a Turkish lady before me with her young Daughter, she was jumping around me and made funny noises. I joined her a bit and she laughed, cute little girl. It was my turn and I told the lady behind the desk  my story and why I was here. "Actually you shouldn't be here cause every 'other' patient goes on alphabetic order, didn't you read the note?"asked the lady. I was at Doctor Tiemens office, my last name starts with a V, so actually I should have went to a Docter named Wellings. Sigh again, long morning, I told ya. But the lady was nice and told me that she normally doesn't do this and "Ssshh," she told me, "Don't tell anyone, I will give your paper for the bloodwork." Nice of her, I could even take blood in the same building, it saved me for riding all the way to the hospital. Ya me!

Next station was the cityhall or townhall,or they call it  seat of local goverment? But that's such a mouthfull, I will call it the cityhall. 

Wikipedia said: In local goverment, cityhall, townhall or (more rarely) a municipal building or civic centre, is the chief adminstrative building of a city town or other municipality. It usually houses the city or town council its associated departments, and their employees. It also usually functions as the base of the major of a city, town, borough or county. 

I had to be there to inform them that I wanted 'there' income to recieve on my own account (ING) and not on Humanitas's account, like it did for 8 months  when I still lived at Humanitas. Last week I filled in a paper what I recieved from the cityhall, they recieved the message from me that I been moved to another adress. The paper I filled in was not in enough proof for them to confirm with the changing from the bank accounts, they needed copies and more information/proof. When I got there there was a line up, ofcource. I waited more then 45 minutes untill it was my time, I informed the lady behind the desk why I was here. I couldn't just walk in and talk the person I needed to talk with, said the lady, but said the lady,  I could call that person here in the cityhall. I did that before and I thought, "Okay, let's try that again." There was only one phone and I knew already from the last time I tried to call, that it will take long.

I didn't mind cause I wanted this to get trough, and I got the whole morning, so. They put me on hold for 20 minutes when I called, then a guy asked me, "Can I help you?" I told the guy who I needed to talk with and the guy putted me trough, the person who I wanted to talk with came on the phone, and I told her my story and what I needed. The lady told me, that everything can be aranged here, I can make the copies what I need here, then I can fill in a special paper for 'changing bank account numbers. That paper I can get at desk 14, fill in the paper, sign it, and put the copies with it and deliver it at desk 14. Done! I was done in 10 minutes but everything took me more then a hour, the waiting took me along time, waiting to be helped at desk 14, waiting with phoning, waiting at the copy machine. The new counselor was a bit late but that was okay, I already heard him trough the phone last week, and by the hearing of his voice I heard a accent. I thought he was Turkish, but he wasn't. \


When he came inside he looked Dutch to me, but his name wasn't Dutch, his parents are from Poland. He's a very nice guy, he will guide me what all has still to be done. You can compare it what Paula (ex-counselor) did with me at Humanitas. The new counselor will help me with my finance, to get everything settled what still has to be done. "Were gonna do it together,' said the counselor, this first meeting was to get to know each other a bit. He had a rapport with him about me, on that rapport was written a bit of my background and the things what still need to be settled. I showed him my list aswell, he was happy with that, "Were gonna be a good team," he told me. He will help for atleast 9 months. But ofcource it can happen that we are done in 2 or 3 months. But again, I'm really happy with the help he offers.I'm reliefed, and I'm happy, what? I'm happy! And this is just the beginning...

I'm PROUD of myself, the things I achieve big or small makes me happy! Such a nice feeling! 

Loving my new microwave, specially the sound as it goes, "Ping!!"

Loving my new microwave, specially the sound as it goes, "Ping!!"

Yeah, I got my stuff already, three or four weeks ago I went to the furniture project in this city. It's a huge hall and people with less money can make a appointment there and choose furniture, kitchen stuff, just anything for decorating or what's usefull in a house. The first time I went there I found it all rubbish and I couldn't choose actually what I wanted. The second time I went it felt better and I actually choosed a few items, I asked the people who helped there if they could deliver the stuffI choosed at my home. That was possible, only it would take three weeks, cause it was holiday and there were more people on the deliver list. The 22th of September they would deliver it at my home. They would send me a message or give me a call what time they will be delivering on the 22th.

Three weeks later (this week) I was thinking, "Hey the 22th is on my working day, Thursday, I have to work and I have no idea when they will arrive." I will have to know what time they will be comming to deliver my stuff, and I will have to ask my Boss aswell if I can go home for a little while to help them out with unpacking my stuff, after that I will return to work. That was my idea, so today at work I told the Boss about the furniture project and that they will deliver my stuff on Thursday and I had no clue yet what time. I asked If I could call to the deliver guys, that was okay. But I couldn't find a phonenumber from them anywhere, not even on the internet. The only solution was calling Humanitas. They know the number for the furniture project, I called. 

Da new kitchen table, plus the new microwave, oh yeah and two new chairs.

I regoniced the voice from the secetary from Humanitas and I asked the 'wanted' phonenumber, "Normally we don't do such things," said the secetary. Either way the secetary  will call them and after that she will call me back, alright.  After ten minutes the secetary called back with a suprise, the delivers have already been delivering my stuff this morning! WOOT!!  That was so weird to hear, and it wasn't even the 22th. What was going on?  The secetary told me that the delivers have already delivered my stuff this morning, and they saw that I wasn't at home. But that wasn't a problem, they took care of it, said the secetary, only what I could think of was "How? "  They don't have a key , they couldn't get in the building and not in my house. The secetary didn't know either, but she knew that the stuff was delivered and that I shouldn't worry about it. 


Okay! Maybe they just left a note, or the stuff stands outside, or a neighbor took it for so long till I come back. When I got back from work I drove by my house and didn't saw stuff outside, I went inside the building and... No sign of my stuff, untill I got to the second floor. Walking trough the hallway I saw first a table with two chairs, and when I walked further I saw at my frontdoor a microwave and a ironboard, lol. Every item had a note with my name on it and my adress, sigh! Weird and akward though that they just leave it there, but anyway, I took the delivered stuff inside and was happy with it, specially the table and the two chairs plus the microwave. I used already the microwave, *ping!* I warmed up marcaroni from last Sunday, yum! The table is brown and matches so nice with the laminate. The table is standing in the kitchen, nice to eat dinner at.

Microwave said, "Ping!"

Busy day ahead tomorrow,today  I had a mail from another agency (social welfare it's called I think) who gives me a second amount of money every month. The other agency (Gak) gives me money aswell every month but that amount of money is under the minimum wage. So the social welfare fills it up so that I have the minimum wage. In the mail the social welfare wanted me to confirm with them, cause I switched  my bank account number(s). First I recieved there money on the account from Humanitas, now I live on my own I need to have that money recieved on my own account (ING) I had to explain that to the social welfare in a letter, and so I did. Bit it wasn't enough, it wasn't clear to them, they wanted proof, copies. Tomorrow morning I will go there with proof. I copied a few papers so I can make it clear to them, keeping my fingers crossed. 


Tomorrow aswell the bloodwork, first I have to get papers from my Doctor, so that I can take blood at the hospital. Third thing I will have tomorrow is my new counselor, he will visit me tomorrow afternoon, he will help me out with lots of things hopefully, atleast that's his job, to get my financial stuff in order, but I will helpmyhself out too, lol. The new counselor has a end rapport about me from Humanitas, so he knows what to do, knows where he can help me with. I made a list too though, where I could use his help with too. I'm looking forward too it, it's about time. So much to do in my head and so less patience. Today at work a counselor told me that such things always needs time, "Your doing so well, give it time,"  he told me.
Sigh, and another sigh! I will give it time.

"Cold, colder, coldst."

"Cold, colder, coldest."

It was a cold and grey day today, specially in the morning when I head to go to work. I took my sweater with me, for just in case, I putted the sweater on at work cause it was way to cold. It was a nice day though at work, only the Boss was sick so the second Boss had to come earlier. The second Boss always comes an hour later, around 9:00. She works mostly on the office and guides new workers around.She's a very nice lady, she was the one drove me to Ikea for the laminate, she was a great help.

So, as from today my counselor at work will search for a payed job for me, finally actually,  I'm a bit 'eek' for the new job aswell, although I need it too and kinda looking forward to it. Specially cause I will get payed. That's the main thing I'm looking forward to it, for the rest it's a bit 'eek.' Ofcource, cause it will be 'new work,' new workers, a new Boss, etc, etc. I will have to inform the company where I get my monthly money from too when I get a new job. That company is called a employement agency, that agency gives me money every month. Oh gosh my English, lol. That agency has certain.

Some of the rules are that I now and then you have to search for work and apply, or how do you say that. If there's any improvent in my sickness I need to inform that to the agency too, aswell if I'm going to move or when there's any change in my life situation. Also when I go on vacation I have to inform them, for example when I went to Canada for a long time, lol. (I will never forget that again) So, when I will have a new payed job I will have to inform that I earn money from that job to that agency, and they will take a few procent of that earning, sigh! For example if I will earn 10 Euro a day, the agency will take 3 or 4 Euro of that earning, why? I don't know. Just a rule from our goverment and the agency. 


It's alot of work and lots of filling in papers, but it is as it is. When/if  I will get a contract where I work then, then I will get the full amount of money without the agency taking of so much procent. When I will get a payed job there is first the internship ofcource, to see how I'm doing. It's good for me aswell, so I can see and feel what it's like to work for 'that' new company. If I don't like it or my 'new' Boss doesn't like how I work then I will and can go back to Reha. Then 'they' will just search further for a new job, I like that. I know now already that I can't fullfill a whole week. I work at Reha 3 days and that's enough for me, perhaps 4 day's but that's the limit. 


Today there was the free dinner again, most of the food was self made. Like the apple sauce and the salad, it tasted good. After the dinner I drove towards home with 2 other members from Humanitas, they invited me to visit them at Humanitas, I went with them for a short while. It felt a bit weird comming back, opening the gate, trough the garden and then going upstairs. I visited Henkie, he was siting on his bed watching tv as always. It was okay being at Humanitas, but it felt akward aswell. Akward cause maybe a staffmember will see me and ask me what I'm doing here, visiting ofcource, lol. I shouldn't be worried. Visiting is normal. 


I guess what I'm thinking that the staffmembers think that I'm not the kinda person who will come back for a visit, oh well. I felt a bit of a relief when I returned home, yeah, you heard that good, 'Home!' 
 

Sunday is the day of the week between Saturday and Monday.

Sunday is the day of the week between Saturday and Monday.  

I have no clue what to write, but i'll do my best, eventually I will write till the end of this post.I didn't do that much today, sigh, Sunday's means resting. There were some shops open and there was a little market in the city, but I didn't go. Save's money, lol. Most of the time I will end up buying something what I don't even need. Today I did a bit cleaning up, computering, and napping. I think these last three days I had my rest now, today I took only one nap, yesterday and Friday I took two long naps. After a busy week I need my rest, sure I can go on but in the end I will collaps and fall asleep or get sick.  This week I need to do some blood work again at the hospital, my medication is almost done. I think I go Wednesday, then I will have to wait five days for the blood results, in the meantime I need medication too. But I have enough, I counted them. 

Cornflakes with banana this morning.

Still no sign from my montly income, maybe the sum of money came on Humanitas's account, I will ask tomorrow. Or maybe I'm just a bit un-patience, I don't know, I'm calm though, in such situations. Other people won't even notice when I'm nervous or stressed. It comes from inside. There's another thing what bothers me lately, I should not mention it, but hey, it's my blog and I can write what I want. I always try a 100% not to hurt people or make them black when I mention them. It's about my personal belongings, there still in Canada with Saf. A month ago I wasn't daring enough to ask for my belongings, Saf and I had a deal, Saf could keep my complete computer, if she ship my belongings towards Holland.  It was her idea, and I agreed with it. 

Gotta love rainy Sundays, I do!

Two weeks ago I dared to write her a message and ask if she could ship my belongings, it wasn't easy to write that message though but I managed. I find it difficult to write such thing, I wrote that she could take her time with the shipping, "Take all the time you want." I don't have rush with my stuff, but there will come a day that I have to ask for it. So, I thought  why not now, otherwise I will keep deleting it. Anyway, I haven't heard from her yet, perhaps she's busy with work or has other things to do. Usually Saf writes me back after I sent her a message, but this time no, is two weeks to soon to get nervous or upset? I can think of a million things what can be going on, but I'm not gonna. The last thing I want is argues or fights again, I dislike that. Eventually I will hear what's going on. I'm not worried.

Fresh fruit!

And I hadn't had a clue what to write, lol, and now I'm already here with writing. Alright, just a few more hours and this Sunday is over, I'm ready for a full week. This week 3 days of work, 3 free dinners, Wednesday there will be my new counselor, the blood work needs to be done and perhaps next weekend there's the flea market. I'm ready!

"A penny saved is a penny earnt."

"A penny saved is a penny earnt." 

Today was almost a day like yesterday, I rested alot, took two naps and ated three times. I'm a bit less worried about my money though, but still, I really could use some more of it. My Aunt called last night, and she told me that I should look for some part time work. Just work here and there for perhaps a few hours then you get payed, that's an idea, yes. But my body says no, after a full busy week I'm to tired to do anything. But I will look for part time work anyway, who knows what kinda work it is. If it's only for a few hours or maybe a day, I can give it a try. Ugh, money! I really gotta take easy with my money, atleast for a few months. 

My mind was today with buying curtains or not, I saw some really nice once for a nice price. But I thought naah, maybe next time when my montly money comes. Stubborn I am I took a look anyway in the store where they sold the cheap curtains, and planning to buy them. When I had them in my hands I had doubts, not a nice colour I thought, and are they easy to put on? Doubts made me decide not buy them, I went to another store and looked around there. There they were a bit expensiver, but they were nice, but again doubts, sigh! I didn't know of the lenght, well, I knew the lenght what I should get, but, does the lenght really suited? Will it look nice? The curtains where light brown, and I thought, "Alright no more doubts, I'm buying them." The curtains were 6 Euro more then in the other store, but I didn't mind.

I took two, one of 60 mm and one of 75 mm, when I nearly wanted to pay them I saw they were two different colours. Damn! Doubts again, I putted them back and looked again, after five minutes I decided not to buy them. It's difficult to make a decision what I wanted if I not really know what I exactly want. There are so many ways to decorate a window, lol. Let me make first sure what I really want and think of a way what the cheapest way is to decorate the many windows I have. I think the besrt way is to measure all the windows what I want to decorate and be closed, (what I already did) and then go to a store with the measures and find a nice curtain or whatever decoration there is. I'm sure the guy or the girl from the store will help me out.

I left the store and actually planning to go to another store where they sell curtains aswell, but halfway I decided no to, lol. I bought the second half of grocery for the comming week and returned home. It was quit a bag full with grocery, but okay. It makes me think back at Humanitas, there I was the only one who bought lots of groceries, but cheap. I think I was the only one then who bought, veggies, fruit, or anything what was healty. Most of the residents didn't buy much groceries, and if they bought groceries they bought bread and meat. Or cigarrets, lol, lots of ciggarets. It made me think, do I really need all these groceries? Do I really have to buy this all? Just like today I had a bag full, but do I really need all that I ask myself.Maybe I could/should make it less. 

1 little bag of potatoes (1,89)

Alright, let's go silly, and I will tell you what I bought today for this whole upcomming week....

1 bag of chrunchy muesli (1,29) 7 days a week sandwisches can get boring, muesli or cornflakes breaks the habbit.
1 bag mixed salad (1,09) usually I buy veggies from a can but a nice salad so now and then can be nice too once in a week.
1 Package of fruitbiscuits (0,82) I take them with me to work, at 10:00 with the coffee  break, it's a nice snack.
I package of teabags (0,35) instead of coffee, sometimes.
1 little bag of potatoes (1,98) this is a little bag, just one week I do with them. Such a cutie bag.
1 brown casino bread (1,09) usually I go for the cheaper ones but bread is gone in the supermarket before you know it, I guess I'm not the only one who goes for the cheap bread, lol
1 white bread (0,56) There was just one cheap bread left, and it was white, sigh, but okay.
1 beer (0,80) cheers! just once a week. Sometimes I skip a week.
1 bag of paprika chips (0,45) so now and then in the weekends.
1 bottle of salad dressing (1,12) nice over the salad.
1 baking butter (0,35)
1 butter (for the sandwisches) (0,54)

1 smoked sausage (0,56) the cheapest meat there is, and so handy to prepair. 

4 vanille puddings (0,17) blush, only 17 cents, but hey, there okay.
1 package of sliced cheese (1,56) only for the working days, for lunch, what I use for the weekends.
1 little can of spinach (0,66) something different then always, beans, carrots and beets.

1 little bag of apples (2,00) fruit is good, I never skip.

3 peaches (0,68) one for Monday, one for Tuesday and one for Thursdays, for each working day, lol.

Casino bread, square and cute.

 Well, that's about it for this week, I usually buy the same grocery/products every week. Meat, potatoes, veggies, fruit and something what you can put on a sandwich. Like honey, coconut slizes, peanut butter, jam, aplle syrup, sweet stuff I know, it's nice in the morning, and not that heavy. Thinking of my full bag of groceries makes me think of my money, maybe I should make it less all that grocery, maybe just for a few months. I think I will laugh when I read this post back two or three months later, when I have enough money to pay all my grocery what I want. I can maby buy something extra, lol. I just will see and find out. No worries for tomorrow.

So many questions, so less answers...

So many questions, so less answers...

Today I was worried,  and still I am a bit. I'm worried about my money, Ireally  hope I can pay my usurances and rent within next few months. Although I have one worry less, my 'new' counselor will be comming next Wednesday at 3 'o' clock. I sent a message last night to Humanitas to ask when my counselor is comming, Cause I thought he would come this week. When a resident leaves Humanitas he or she gets help from a counselor or other help, the residents wont be left alone just like that. When a resident lived for a long time at Humanitas and suddenly lives on his or her own again it can be difficult, so all help is needed. Someone from Humanitas sent me a message back this morning, telling me he informed the my new counselor. Within a hour I had a phonecall from that counselor, yay!

He confirmed with me, and he told me he has all my information he needs to know. Well I have a few questions more though, but that can wait till Wednesday. I made a list what need to be taking care off, and I  tried to solve some off what the things what was standing on the list. That was difficult cause some of the things I just have to wait for, I'm talking about my finance. I have to watch more and more often to my bank account, (online) to see what has been payed or what I'm getting in the month, ect, ect. It's a good thing so I can get used to this online banking thing, lol. I already found out that online banking is easier to find out then finding out how a cellphone works, I so dislike cellphones, lol. To many options and to many buttons!I slightly panic when my cellphone rings, or I hear it ring and I have to find out where the phone is! 

Another thing I had to take care of is that every paying or montly income had to come on my own bank account. Otherwise my montly income will come on the account from Humanitas, and that's not a good idea. When I was at Humanitas I had two bank accounts, I had my own and had Humanitas's account.  I already took care of everything though, but I haven't seen my montly income on my account yet. Sigh, I guess I will have to wait till Monday and prolly see it then. Some companies are so slow or they make silly mistakes. Second thing is, Humanitas has stopped my 'extra money,' I was getting the 'extra money' from the goverment of this city, cause my montly income was under the minimum wage. The rent at Humanitas is incredible high, so every resident had to ask the 'extra money' by the goverment.

Now as I live on my own again, Humanitas automaticly stopped the 'extra money,' it's a normal thing to do for Humanitas. But do I have to ask again for that 'extra money'  at the governent? Cause I know my montly income is still under the minimum wage, am I alowed to do that? Is it possible?  Should I wait till Wednesday, so my counselor will tell me what to do? I guess that's what I will do then, wait till Wednesday, cause I don't wanna make mistakes or get into more little problems. I can use the 'extra money, just to pay my rent or usurances. I already getting my 'care alowance,' and next week my 'rent allowance,' I shouldn't complain actually, but still. Roll on September and October!  So I can get used to this stress full money thing. 

I will have to get a contents insurance too, but I will wait with that too till Wednesday. So many things to do, so many questions, in the past I was so easy with such things, I guess time changed everything. Being in Canada I didn't had to take care of that, it sure was different then in Holland with finance, usurances, and many things more.  And being at Humanitas was different aswell, I wasn't living on my own, I lived in a shelter. I needed different insurances, I had also a new income, so much differences made me lost. Now I have to get used to everything again, I need patience and self-confidence. All that will come back I'm sure, I'm not the same person as before I came to Canada. I'm stronger and have more will power. The worries now are normal, I don't blame myself or other ones. It is as it is, things will be solved again, patience! 

About my day: It was a nice day, I spent most of my time in my pyama pants, (read: comfy pants) I took two naps cause I felt like it, lol. I relaxed and rested alot, I did some grocery and saw a few nice curtains for a nice price. But I didn't buy it, cause I just don't know about my money yet. It's better to take care of my money, I can live a while without curtains. I'm living in my house now for almost two weeks and I'm managing, I only buy grocery and for the rest I'm handy with managing. 

'Thank God it's almost Friday."

'Thank God it's almost Friday."

It's getting colder, last night I putted on a blanket more cause I was cold. I must have been standing on the market yesterday to long in the cold wind, but it was a nice day. This morning I could sleep longer, cause I took the morning off. I told my Boss that I will come with the lunch break, or a bit sooner. It became a bit sooner, I slept till 7:00 (a nice time) and went on my laptop, took my breakfast, and after that I headed off to work. I arrived at work before 10:00, just before the coffee break.

I guess I like my work and the workers, lol. I started to work on a baby-seat, cause yesterday on the market a nice woman came up to us and asked us to make one. It's been a while since I made a baby-seat, but it went well. I like working with wood. Today aswell my counselor at work came up to me and told me he will get started to look for work for me, payed work. I was getting a bit of a 'yay' feeling but also a bit of a 'eek' feeling, I'm so used to work at Reha, I guess it's difficult then to start somewhere else, but it's what I want, it's what I need aswell.

Speaking about counselors, Paula said goodbye two weeks ago. And I should get s new counselor from another company called CTI, they will guide me and give me help where it's needed. Paula made a end rapport about me, in the rapport was written that I still need help with my finance. I still need to get used to my finance, what are my income? When do I get my income? What has to be monthly payed? And when do I do that? Does my paying go automaticly? What can I buy or what can I buy not? I will have to become used again to what I can give out on money montly or weekly.

I already started to work on 'that,' I wrote down on a paper what I pay in the month at usurances and rent, and what I get in the month. Now this counselor didn't show up yet, or I might have it wrong. Maybe Humanitas told me that the new counselor will show up a month later, I can remember that I will get a message or a phonecall when he or she will come. But why do I keep thinking then that the counselor had to come this week? Ugh, I was lost when I was thinking these thoughts, time for some action. I sent Humanitas a message, asking where my counselor is, and asked to clear some things up.

I had to much on my head lately, work, the moving, saying goodbye to Humanitas, it distracts me so easily. Maybe it's time to write things down again, just to not forget things, I did that in the past and it's so easy. I will never forget a thing again, the last few days I have been busy with work, and I was thinking, "I moved, I'm here now, I'm good and done." But I'm not done yet, there are a few things that have to be settled, one of them is my finance. Second is that I would like to get more under the people, join a club, join a sport, or get a hobby. Paula came up with that too and she offered me help, she wrote it down in the end rapport, so, my new counselor will offer me help with that too.

But my new counselor doesn't have to do everything, I can do things aswell. Last night I looked in Paula's end rapport, and watched what all has to be done, I wrote it down on a paper and I will see what 'I' can do with it. Go Sjon!! I had it done before so why not now.

"The only disability in life is a bad attitude."

"The only disability in life is a bad attitude." 

It's been a nice day, I told yesterday that my Boss and I would go to a market to sell our (selfmade) wooden products. Although all that, I had no clue what kinda market it was and what kinda people I'm going to see and meet. Yeah, I have been on markets a million times, but selling products or items? No. "I just will see what this day will bring me," I thought, I was tired though and riding my bike (again) to work wasn't that a pleasure. I took of at 8:10 am, cause I had to be at work at 8:30 am. It was busy on the street, parents taking there kids to school, office people going to work, teenagers going to college. It was a mixure of bikes, screaming kids and cars, lol. Rush hour in Holland. But I arrived perfectly on time though, when I arrived my Boss came five minutes later after me. He brought a trailer behind his car for the wooden furniture we will bring to the market.

Packing the furniture in the trailer.

The trailer was just big enough for all the stuff we brought, a complete lounge set, crats, flower crats, butler trays, everything just fitted. But what a heavy work, the carying was so heavy, but okay. We took off and headed to the place we had to be, city Enschede. We were going to 'Bouwhuis,' in Enschede. Bouwhuis is a  care center for disabled people in many ways. With many ways I mean there are many sort of disabled people living at Bouwhuis,
there disability may be physical, cognitive, mental, sensory, emotional, developmental or some combination of these. I surely didn't expect that we were going there, I never even been to the place, "I will just see what it is", I thought. When we arrived a friend of my Boss guided us to the spot where were going to stand for today. I knew the guy though, it was a good customer from Reah, he's a male nurse from Bouwhuis, in other words he helps the disabled people, guiding them, nurse them. 

Our spot...

The spot where we will be standing was right next to a huge barrel-organ (sigh!) Sigh, but nice aswell. The Organ was standing left from us, and on our right side there was a gymnastic spot, where people could do gym or dance, ofcource the music was pumpin loud. I didn't mind, I just laughed about it. I saw a nice day ahead of me. We un-stalled our products on our spot, and waited for the customers. Although there was a bit of a cold wind it was nice to look around, I already took my hat of for all the nursers (as I call them for today) what 'they' all do for the disabled people is amazing. It's such a nice gesture towards the disabled people, the market and everything around it was specially for 'these' people. When I was sitting on a iron trashcan (a selfmade chair) I looked around on our spot, and saw all the wooden furniture I made the last 4/5 months. I was thinking, "I made most of this and now I'm selling it," that's a good feeling, also when people look at it and compliment me and my Boss. 

...Our products.

Around 12:00 my Boss treated me on a nice lunch as he promised me yesterday, tomato soup, a healty sandwich, and french fries. I felt a bit guilty, lol, he shouldn't have. But it came right on time, I was getting cold and the soup was doing me good. My Boss was cold too, he didn't take a jacket with him, I did though but was still cold. I noticed that I'm not a market man, lol. Standing there waiting for the customers to buy our stuff, the long standing and the cold wind did it to me. But the atmosphere was good, it was nice being here. After our lunch we were kinda warmed up and went outside again.  But the customers stayed out, ofcource we had lots of people looking at our products, but they were not buying it. I guess you could blame the kinda market it was, it was a fleamarket. On a fleamarket you can buy stuff for under 10 Euro's, our products were a bit expensiver. Our lounge set for example was 475 Euro, butler trays for 60 Euro aswell the flower crats for each 0 Euro. Alot of money, I know. 

Our first customer.

It's the material, and the hours work on the product what makes it so expensive. It is like it is. The day went on and I was getting colder, I noticed that my Boss wasn't much with me. He might have done that on purpose, cause many times he told me today, "Come on sell your/our products," with a big smile. I guess he was thinking that it will makes me assertive, lol, I didn't mind again. Many times customers came up to me and asked me questions about the products, and many times I could answer them. Allthough with some questions I had problems, but then I called my Boss. Cause he's the Boss, and my Boss knows everything, lol. I saw the disabled people were having fun, they were dancing with the gymnastics, and they could take a ride (for the fun) in a firetruck or in a police car, nice. I was still could but I could handle it, a few cuppa coffee's kept me warm. "A quarter before four were gonna pack our stuff and leave," told my Boss, the market last till 4:00. 

Gotta love a barrel-organ..... I did!

It was 3:00 and I had enough, I was done and couldn't wait till we would pack our stuff. I think my Boss had enough too, lol by the look on his face, it's been a long (cold) day. The barrel-organ stopped aswell, I was happy with that cause it seemed the organ was getting louder and louder, lol. And for six hours long the same songs over and over gets anoying too. 
It was time to pack, and we sold a few things aswell, yay! The loungeset, sold! Two butler trays, sold! One crat, sold! My Boss and I were happy, he told me, "We sold it, that's one, and two? We don't have to lift that heavy loungset again in our trailer," That's two wins! I had a nice day, and tomorrow I was alowed to take a half day off. I will start tommorow after lunch, so I can sleep in tomorrow morning. It's needed. Again I having nothing but good for the nurses at care center 'Bouwhuis,' my compliments to them. I saw it's a tough job today, I'm taking my hat of again. 

Ice-scream master Willy!

Just before 5:00 pm we got back at Reah, we unpacked our left products and my Boss wished me a good rest of the day, he thanked me aswell. I thanked him too, I was glad that I went. I was right on time for the free dinner aswell, Marcaroni and meatloaf! A full day, now I'm relaxing and writing this last piece of this post, cuppa coffee next to me. Relaxation has started....

"Some persons make promises for the pleasure of breaking them."

"Some persons make promises for the pleasure of breaking them." 

This is going to be a short post cause there ain't much to say, it's been a day like usuall. Work was fine, I worked hard and steady.  We cleaned one section up today, cause there gonna be changes in our little factory. I have been transported to another section, I will keep making wooden furniture though. In the cleaned up section there will be the delivery and the sawing from the wood. Ear protection is needed! Sometimes I leave my earplugs out, just like some others do, but that's just a stubborn act. If it's getting to loud I will put in ear plugs. I should wear them the whole day I know. 


I was exhausted after work, thinking of tomorrow makes me even more tired. Tomorrow me and my Boss will be heading out to Enschede to visit a market. It's a market specially for factories, we will try to sell our products and try to get more customers. It will be the first time I will spend a whole day with my Boss, it's going to be alright. Only, here goes my resting day, but oh well, just for once, it's okay. I will get a half day off my Boss told me, so Thursday I will start my working day at 12:30 instead of 8:00. 8:30 am tomorrow I will have to be at work and then it's off to city Enschede, I will take pictures of the whole happening.

Just another manic Monday...

Just another manic Monday... 

I woke up last night at 2:30 am this morning, there was a full moon and it shinned right in the livingroom. The full moon shinnend even brighter cause of the no curtains in the house, from my sleeping room I can look right into the livingroom. It was a bit scary and it kept me awake, lol, silly me. I was just waiting for a huge shadow what will apear in the room, booh!! I was thinking if I close my eyes the shadow will apear, so I have to keep my eyes open, lol. Not so easy though when you just woke up and you want to go back to sleep. It kept me awake, sigh! Solution? I grabbed a few sheets and covered two windows so I could not  peek anynmore into the livingroom. But then it was already 5 am, and was thinking, "If I fall asleep now I will oversleep myself," so I doozled a bit and then got up.

I will catch my sleep the next night, I thought. I need curtains! And I will get them this week, lol, no matter what! I think aswell that people who live across me think I am peeking trough there windows, but I am not. So yeah, my mission is to get curtains this week! Another nice day at work today,  before I go to work I ride my bike first to Humanitas to pick up a good friend, Henkie, we ride both together to our work. When I arrived at Humanitas and saw the entrance and the little gate, I had double feelings, thinking of how it was the last months, and that I missed it a tiny bit. Thinking "I was there once." It is just a week ago, I know, but still. Today at work my Boss wanted to invite me to a meeting this comming Wednesday, we will be going to another city just me and him. Were gonna try to sell our products on a factory market. First I thought, "Eeek, naah, I do not really feel to go."

I was thinking to say no but said "Yes I will come,"  instead, lol I thought for a change I will say yes, cause I ussualy say no, BUT I never say no, it´s ussualy yes, when I actually mean no. I had doubts but I already said yes to the invite, I actually did not had a change that much to say no, but okay. The reason of actually saying and meaning no was because Wednesday is my rest day, a really must rest day. I really have to divide my energy over the week, cause of my sick thyroid. I can manage alot but I need my rest aswell, but okay wednesday for a change I will go with my boss to that market, should be fun. I spoke later on with my Boss and explained him that Wednesday is actually my rest day, he knew that. My Boss told me that I could take the next day a half day off. Fair enough! Settled!

Within two weeks I will have to do some blood work again for my thyroid, I´m still on a high dosis of medication, the higer dosis is just to get a good blood level again, cause a month ago my blood levels were kind of messed up. I can not keep taking the higher doses though, otherwise my blood level will go to high. It´s hard to explain it in english, lol, I need a certain balance in my blood for my thyroid, when my blood level is to high, I will get a lower dosis of medication. And when to low I will get a higher dosis. Sometimes the levels are like a jojo, going up and down, with the right dosis of medication I need to get a good balance, and that is not always easy. But I can live with that, I am used to it.

"Oh well, Sunday's."

Let's have a little laugh on this Sunday, I did a few things inside the house and didn't even go outside. The weather was good though, sunny and warm, to warm actually. Ansd when it's to warm in Holland we will get a thunder or a rainstorm. And yeah the rainstorm came in the late afternoon. I cleaned up a few things, I whiped four windows, sweeped the floor in the livingroom. (It's like laminate produces dust, lol) Last thing I did was I emptied the two suitcases with winter clothing. I have space enough for the summer clothing, and the winterclothing. The laundry from yesterday is still drying, it seems it doesn't dry at all, maybe it is time for a wash dryer.

I had a little 'sad' moment aswell, just a short one though. Being alone isn't that fun, I sure hope that will change. I was unpacking my suitcases, and saw some clothing what I bought in Canada, I saw aswell a few drawnings what Tasn made for while I was with her. Then it hits me ofcource, I thought, I really need something to do the comming months. Like I said before, join a club or a sport, follow a cursus. These are my goals, like I said while I was still at Humanitas. I'm sure I will achieve these goals but I will have to work on them, or better look for them. These goals won't knock on my door and say, "Hey you come along!"I will have to do it by myself, I can do that.

Such lonely feelings aren't fun but actually I should be glad I have them, it means I don't want to be alone or sit on my a.. uhm, bum! What makes me happy is that I still live in Almelo, I lived here now for 8 months, and I know the place, I even know a few people. I still meet some of the residents from Humanitas at work 3 days a week and at the free dinner, so, that's something. But yeah, days like this, (Sundays) ugh, maybe I should had going to that church. Note to myself: I will have a great future!! A new city, new people, new oppertunities, new friends, I'm ready!

I'm still amazed what I reached so far, to be continued? Yes!

"Never forgetting."

"Never forgetting."

Yeah, the attack on the Twin towers on the 11th of September 10 years ago. When it happened I was like 'okay.' I wasn't really realizing it, sure it was very sad what happened and it was a unbelievable tragedy, but really realizing it came later on, months later. I knew still where I was ten years ago when this tragedy happened, I was upstairs listening to my records, like I always did after dinner. My Dad was downstairs watching the news, my Dad watching the news, uhm, well he's a bit deaf and his eyes aren't that well. So Dad looks at the TV but sometimes he doesn't even know what he's looking at, when I came downstairs for a coffee I saw the tragic news about two planes hitting the Twin towers in New York. 

Dad was watching it too, but I thought that he was thinking he was just looking at a war movie. I was stunned and thought that it couldn't be trough what I just saw, two planes full of people hitted the Twin Towers. The news was on all channels, and I tried to explain to my Dad what just happend, after several times of explaining Dad was getting it. The news about these attacks lasted more then months,  still life just continues after all the tragedy, then today, ten years after there is the 'memorial.'  Then you think, "Oh but don't we have that every year a memorial of this tragedy?" We have seen it now, we know it now. 

This morning I decided to watch a special memorial video, it lasted more then 25 minutes. While watching the video it suddenly grabbed me, it touched me. Looking at the Twin Towers and the fire on the top made me realize again what happend, what an impact it brought. Aswell there were also alot of questions being un-answered about this whole tragedy, but I don't wanna go into that. What I do know is that millions of people have been killed without any kind of reason, and that's more then sad. That's why I will never forget what has happened on the 11th of September 2001!

"Weekend."

"Weekend."

Just like at Humanitas there's not much to do in the weekend. Hmm actually that's not true, If I would search for something there will be enough to do. I just don't feel like it now  though. It's been quit a few busy and hectic weeks with all the moving and arranging, I can feel it everywhere in my body, I'm tired, and I will take it easy the comming weeks.  When I will be a few months further, I will search for something to do. I might/will  join a club or maybe even a sport, or become a member of something, I'm 100% sure there's plenty things to do in this city. This morning I wasn't feeling so well, I felt tired, had a hurting stomach and my muscles were hurting. I had some things to do though, I needed groceries, and I planned to go out to a second hand store.

After my breakfast I started to clean the hallway, I decided to clean up the last parts of the house. I will do it in parts though, last week I cleaned the kitchen area, today I cleaned the hallway. Next week the living room and then the sleeping room. I won't do everything in one day, cause I just don't have too, lol. I can take my time, there's no one who will say, "Hurry up." This morning I turned for the first time the washing machine on, and it worked! There was one thing missing though, a dryer or a dry rack. A new dryer will cost me more then 100 Euro, and a dry rack atleast 25 Euro, those things can wait. I hanged my washed clothes in the shower/bathroom on a chord, works perfect for now.

I'm pretty handy in such things, lol. I manage! After my nap I washed my face and went to a 'new' second hand store, the store was in another town called 'Wierden.' My Mother was born in Wierden, as a Family we lived there aswell for many years. It's a nice town but quiet with not much to do, it's pretty expensive living there aswell. I knew sorta where to go to that second hand store, someone told me at Humanitas it's over the railways by the industry area. I thought I just go there to that area and then I will see where land. My intuitions were pretty good, I was thinking I'm going left here and then right, and...there was the store! It's not even a 20 minute bikeride. The store looked kinda closed, but I didn't see a sign it was closed.

The store is called 2switch and inside it looked nice and big, call me a pussy or something else in that genre but I like to look around in second hand stores. Even the old fashion pots and plates or old fasion tea cups, I  like it, and there were plenty of them. I spent one hour atleast in that store, I enjoyed myself. Everything was placed so nice and so looked good, I wish I brought my camera. It was all second hand, but it looked aswell trendy, some items I saw I remember from my youth. I bought three plates and a huge cushion, we call it in Dutch 'poef.' I think they call it aswell a 'ottoman.' I'm using it now actually.

The 'ottoman' was hard to take with me on my bike but I managed, I putted the ottoman infront of me on the stearing wheel and held it with one hand, the other hand was on the stearing wheel. Yeah, I'm pretty handy with such things, lol.What I'm not so handy with is to remember things, I can remember things but mostly I have to write things down. If I have to much on my head or I have to remember many things at the same time I loose it. I remembered today that I wanted to have a look in my mailbox downstairs, I thought the mail wouldn't be much but, oh my! Never seen so much mail, lol. Most of it were just flyers, and a few mails from my internet provider and a few from the cityhall. Old news. 


Alright let me start with dinner!

"The floor is done, the laminate has been layed!"

"The floor is done, the laminate has been layed!"

Yeah, Henkie called me this morning, he had some spare time to lay the laminate in the kitchen. Nice of him, we were done in less then two hours this morning.  And knowing that I didn't even bought laminate for the kitchen is a plus point, I only bought laminate for the living room and sleeping room. The kitchen looks nice now, and even bigger. After laying the laminate I whiped and swiped the floor, just don't know what to do with the one package of laminate what is left. Perhaps bring it back to Ikea? I will see.

Step by step and day by day I become further and further, I'm taking it easy though. After lunch I took a nap cause I felt tired, I slept more then one hour. I guess I needed it, usually I sleep 20 or 30 minutes, and that's it. Still I need a few things, everyday I bump into something that I could need in the house, like a dustbin, lol. I put my little garbage in little bags for now. I talked aswell to a few neighbors here in the neighborhood, I must say little flat actually. My neighbor under me is a old lady (76) and has a long disease, when she wants to say something she puts a finger on a certain place on her neck and then she speaks. 

Lunch at noon, such a little slieces of bread, so cute!

She sounds almost like a robot, she's a very nice woman. "You can come down for a cuppa coffee anytime," she shouted this morning, nice right?  The second neighbor I met in the shed where all the bikes are standing, someone replaced my bike, and I told it to the neighbor who was just comming in. The neighbor told me that it might have been replaced by someone who has a certain place for his bike, I didn't mind though. Friendly and calm people in this area, there's alot of foreigners living here, Turkish and Arabic people. The female neighbor was standing in the garden when she pointed with a finger to the houses near us and told me, "There lives a foreigner, there's lives a foreigner and there, but there all nice boy, nice and calm." 


I laughed and told her that I don't have to go on vacation then, she laughed. After my nap my Aunt called and told me she might have some curtains for me, my Aunt calls alot lately, but it's all good though. She offers things and gives me advice, it's a nice tought that I still hear from them. There the only people from my Family I hear from so now and then, I don't mind. It will get me more independent, talking about being independent, I managed and achieved alot the last 9 months, I can be proud of myself. Don't I? Sometimes I think back at the last 10 months, or when started this blog, I like it when I can read it all back. 

Nice with cheese and ham!

I noticed aswell that I don't write alot about Saf so much anymore, no I don't write about Saf that much anymore but sure she flashes trough my mind so now and then plus the kids. There much less sad thoughts though,I'm  just thinking then of how they are doing, and yeah sometimes I think of them and miss them, a hug would be so nice then. I feel better about the break up and feel betterthat I left Canada, Saf and I were done. We couldn't go on anymore, it could only get worser. Although I didn't wanna give in, in the end it was better for us. I'm glad that Saf and I don't have hard feelings about the break up, no argues or fights. 

No matter what or how far I am from them, I still care about them, and love them with all my heart. Bless you guys!