Fails, I hate them, but it's okay.

Fails, I hate them, but it's okay. 

Making little mistakes at work, I dislike it THAT much, lol. Though it's okay I'm still learning. This week we had to make a huge mat, when we have a huge mat we devide the mat in parts, otherwise it's just to heavy to lift or to transport. This 'huge'mat had several different measures, so it was quit a bit of a work to start with this mat for me. I usually start with a mat, I connect the mat to each other, measure it and nail it together. Now the measuring is quit a job, the measuring has to be done perfect aswell. I started with this 'huge' mat Tuesday, I connected it, measure it and nailed it. Today I found out that the measuring I did wasn't good, though I measured it quit often, just to not make a mistake. But still... 

Just that sometimes I make that mistake, measuring is not always that easy. Today I just didn't understand how I made 'this' mistake, the mat was to short. It's easy to fix though, it's easy to make a mat bigger. It's just extra work, that's all. But I didn't get it, lol. I always say to myself when I make a mistake with the measuring, "Never again, I will measure it more often!" And so I did last Tuesday, I measured the mat several times, I was so positive that this was the right measure. So yeah, I was pretty surprised that the mat was to short, I was stunned and felt disappointed. Again I screwed up, lol. Now my second Boss comments me after making a mistake...

He does that on a way like he's being all funny with it, but aswell serious. It's quit confusing, in the end he's always saying, "I'm just kidding, it's alright, I can fix it. Ugh, be serious now, Boss, lol! I truly dislike making mistakes, though I learn from them.But really, the measuring has to be better. I'm not always mess up with the measuring, but when I do, ugh!! Other work I did went pretty well, no wait! Other work went damn good! lol, I did alot, I managed to finish alot of orders. There weren't many orders this week, but as always in the end of the week, surprise! Always a few orders more to finish them this week.

Lazy day...

Lazy day...

Waiting for a phone call is what I mostly did today, oh and I tumbled dry a wash and corrected some wires behind the TV. The phone call I waited for was from Social Services, they wanted to call me and explain the letter I received last week about a payment I have to do. Social Services never called... ofcource. I have to do a payment, that's easy, just fill in my bank number and my autograph and send it. I have to pay a sum of money back, the positive side is that I can pay in terms, every month a sum of money. Though the first term was pretty much, I don't why. 

That's why the phone call, though I sent the first term already this afternoon, I figured that they will pay me back if they made a mistake, otherwise I will let them pay.
That's why I don't like such letters, there's mostly something wrong with it, and mostly I have to go after it again. To set it straight or ask for more information, well, I have better things to do. Weather was nice today, lol, but I didn't get out much, yeah, the free dinner, and that was it.I'm not looking forward to tomorrow's work actually, I might get throwen for that 'mean machinee,' again, which I do not like. But oh well, let's just try it once more.

"Fail."

"Fail." 

This morning I was first placed on a machine I don't really like, ugh! It's a machine what makes mats automatically, uhm, well, not really automatically, you need to program the machine, push some buttons and a whole lot more. It's sure not heavy work, but my brain had to work overtime. I needed many things to remember, what to do when there's a disturbing, or what to do when the mat is done, etc, etc, etc, and etc. Before I was standing at the machine I told myself, "This is not gonna work, I can't do this." The fellow worker who helped me and explained me how this machine works told me, that 'that' is not a positive beginning, not the right attitude. "I know," I told him. Further I told him that I will try it and that I will see how it goes. 

"Relax and take it easy," the fellow worker told me, "It's quit easy when you know it, you'll have to get the know the machine, then it will go fluently." After a few disturbing (The machine got some starting problems) the machine did his job, then I stood alone behind the machine. After 20 minutes things were going wrong, many things. I didn't know what to do, yeah I stopped the machine, but how to fix this and continue? I didn't know, I tried, but without success. I knew myself, and I knew that this is going to be a awful day when they gonna let me stand behind this machine, lol. Disturbing after disturbing.

This is the kind of machine that you actually have to learn how to control it, or how to work with it. Some people are easy with this machine and get it right away after explaining, but there are aswell people who don't get it right away. There's to many handling's on this machine, to many things to remember, I could work with this machine, if someone stood beside me for a few days or perhaps a week. Just to see what I'm doing wrong or good, explain me things. But there isn't time for that, anyway. I went to the office and asked if I could do my own work again, that was alright. 

Though I had to debate this with a few other fellow workers, who was willing to take my work over... After a slightly heavy debate, (I guess the two workers who I had to debate with weren't in the mood for this 'machine,' lol) one worker went behind 'this' machine. I was relieved, but aswell I felt I failed, in my eyes I gave up to soon, lol. I stood before behind this machine and that was really not a success. Actually this morning went a tiny bit better. Though I gave up, it's not gonna work was my motto. Thursday I will stand again behind this machine says the schedule, I wanna try it again, trying not to give up, lol.

I did my own work today, the work what I always do, that went so much better. I'm actually getting better and better at 'that' work, I'm growing! Not looking forward to Thursday, but willing to try it, once again.

Day off....

Day off...

Awkward day today, well, a bit then, usually I work on Monday's but today was a 'free' day. Our Boss gave us all a day off cause it was his birthday. Though I didn't sit still today, I went to social services, sigh, and washed some windows outside, ouch! Social services sent me a mail with a message that my paying had started. I still had to pay a sum of money after social services  stopped the monthly paying when I signed my working contract. First I made a 'objection' on the paying, cause it wasn't my fault I had to pay this sum of money back, social services payed me this sum of money by mistake. I already had the 'objection/hearing,' but didn't hear the outcome yet. But outcome or not I still have to pay the sum of money back, and today the paying had started. 

I will probably hear the outcome Wednesday, then a person from social services will call me. Weird and awkward that the outcome didn't arrived yet, they told me at the hearing that it will take 6 days, but it's been already 3 weeks later. Sigh. I need a window cleaner, a window cleaner who will wash my windows twice or perhaps 3 times a year. The outside windows is a hell of a job to wash, specially when you live two high, lol. Though I managed the washing, don't ask how but I did it. With here and there a few stripes still left, but hey, I'm glad it's done. Tomorrow working again, wow, only two days working this week. Hmm, and hmm, I rather work then having a day off. Though today's been good. Had Kale with the free dinner, fresh kale with a huge meatball, really loved it. Monday's free dinner is the best.

Tuned her out!

Tuned her out! 

Like I wrote yesterday about my Aunt, that she called again twice, once last week and once yesterday, I didn't answer both times. I didn't feel for arguing or even just talking to her, she probably forgot what has happened the last time when we spoke or write to each other. Or she didn't forgot but just wanted to ignore it and continue with me on her level. Yeah, right! All though it makes me angry or sad, I always try to give it a chance to solve it aswell, just like I tried last night. I wrote her back after she wrote me a email, she was asking me why I won't pick up the phone, and telling me all silly and awkward things about Dad or my Dad's nurse, just to get in touch with me or continue with me. Like nothing has happened. 

Waiting for the train this Sunday, I planned a visit to my Dad.

I explained her again in a email why I wasn't picking up the phone and explained her why I was mad. It was a good email I must say, firm written, clear words and right to the point. I was even friendly with her, trying to somehow stop this argue/fight. But, no, that's impossible with my Aunt. She's just twisted my clear words and gave me her own explanation, giving me the fault. (1) I HAD to message her when I buy something for Dad, (No! Cause that's a thing now between my Dad's nurse and me) She always wants to know 'things' when it comes to me and my Dad. Yes, she really takes care of my Dad, and yes, she arranges most of the things for my Dad, I'm  really thank full for that... 

The colors of the tree's were so nice today...

And I don't want to change that either. Though I don't like the way how she involves me in this process. (2) She told me aswell that it was to easy to talk about what was happened with the bad and insulting mail my Cousin (my Aunts Son) sent me a few months ago.  (Yeah, that mail hurted me, and Aunt just ignored it and accused me of something totally different) (3) She accused me that I didn't know how sick my Uncle was (my Aunt's Husband) while having my Dad's birthday in August, ( I wasn't blind or deaf Aunt, I really could see that my Uncle was sick, you called me a thousand times to make that clear) I replied to her email shortly, explained her again firm and wise, but, no success.

She mailed me once again with her saying, "Thanks for the mail. I never lie,we  think you are weird, and everyone in our Family are thinking the same, you probably don't think so, but it's the true. You live your life as you wish." She sounded childish, even Google translate couldn't make a word of it. I replied one more time back and then I blocked her from my Hot mail. I told her, "About me being weird, the Family has probably heard that from you gossiping THAT  around, without talking to me first, have a nice Sunday." I'm tuning her out. It might worry me a bit in the first place, but I will get over that. Today's Dad's visit was short. Just like I had planned yesterday, today was a visit day to Dad. 

Waiting for the bus towards home...

It was a nice trip, I had to take the train and the bus, cause at some place there weren't riding any trains. I actually was looking forward to this short trip, lol. Train trip and bus trip in one, yay! The weather was gorgeous, sunny weather and not even cold, see the pictures. On my way I bought flowers for Dad, and I had my lunch with me. Dad always has his dinner around 12:00, that's the time I always visit him. So that we can eat and chit chat with each other, aswell 12:00 is a very nice time to avoid my Aunt. When I arrive I always look at the parking lot, to see if my Uncle's car is there. Just to be save, ugh! It was a nice day but aswell a bit of a sad  and awkward day, I need more friend or relatives around me for sure.

To answer or not to answer...

To answer or not to answer...

Last week on a Saturday night my cell phone went over, I grabbed it and saw the phone number who was calling, my Aunt! Wow, that's been a while, yeah it was the 'grumpy' Aunt. My first reaction when I saw my Aunt's number was, "Nope, I'm not gonna answer." I layed down the phone and continued what I was doing, relaxing on the couch. Ofcource I start to think, "Maybe somethings wrong with my Dad." Or, "Why would she suddenly call again?" Or, "I'm sure that my Aunt would talk like nothing has happened, ugh!" I didn't was in the mood for talking to her, like nothing has happened, I'm sure I would get a speech again, if I would bring up what happened a few months ago. (I was done with my Aunt commanding me what to do if it comes to my own Dad, I couldn't even visit him whenever "I" want or could. So I said something about it in a mail and sent it to my Aunt, my Cousin responded not very polite...

He insulted me badly and in the end he considered me as a no-Cousin anymore) Tonight my cell phone went again, same number, it was my Aunt, again I didn't respond. She called once again and again I didn't respond. For the same reason, I didn't want to speak to her. Just knowing her that she will talk like nothing has happened, and that we just continue on the same level? Naah, I'm perfectly fine the way I am now with Dad, way better then before. Tomorrow I will visit my Dad, I think it's the first time in a long time I visit him on a Sunday. About my Aunt, I know there will be a time that I will have to pick up the phone and talk to her, I think it's better to not wait to long with that. If I wait to long the talking will only get worse or more difficult. I can hear my Aunt already calling, "Why don't you answer the phone?" Well, think a bit harder Aunt! 

Today was a so so day, I wanted to go on a coffee visit to a friend, but she cancelled it. She went to the hospital yesterday and today she was in pain, bless her. I took it easy in the morning, just before lunch I did a quick wash up and took off. I decided to have a lunch in the city, Subway was on my mind. Subway recently opened a store here in Almelo, yes! I loved Subway in Canada, footlong sandwiches. I ordered a 'beef half foot sandwich, no spicey items, veggies plus honey mustard sauce and a coffee aside. Then to the market for beets, I wanted to try fresh beets, and you can't buy them here in a store, so. Oh the beets were so cheap, I bought 3 huge ones for only 70 Euro cents, woot! I want to make it a standard now to have fresh veggies or fruit at the market. Cooking the beets was new for me, I looked up a recipe and started.  
  
The beets needed 45 minutes for cooking, damn! And I didn't have a decent pan aswell, the only big pan I had I needed for the potatoes. The cooking although went fine in a bit smaller pan. As a first time 'beets cooker' I forgot the vinegar, so the beets tasted a bit to sweet, I like them more sauer.But I didn't do bad as a first timer, the second time will be better. These beets were huge, better to get smaller ones next time.

Am I ready?

Am I ready? 

Tonight I asked myself if I was ready for a relationship again, answer is, I don't know. But I thought about it, I asked myself just out of the blue. Why don't I know if I am not ready yet? Cause I just don't know. Am I willing to try a relationship? Hmm, I might. I think it's best to let God decide that, lol. When it happens it happens, and when it happens it's perhaps God's will. Yeah, that's it. If a relationship would happen could I handle it? I don't know, lol. I think I will be nervous, nervous to make mistakes, (again) But that's just my thinking, who knows it will go fine, I'm wiser, wiser after my first relationship. No offense to Saf, but I learned alot from my first relationship, that's a positive and a good thing. We will just see what's gonna happen in the future, if a relationship happens, I will embrace it with both hands.

My 'Buddy project' buddy Johan came to visit me this morning for a appointment, around 10:00 he came and we started to talk trough the things from this week. The conversation went fine, we talked about a few things and afterwards he gave me a few things to do for the next week. I was planning to visit a Christmas market next month with a friend, but I haven't had the guts to ask my friend or confirm the trip to the market. Johan asked me to do it next week, I will try, hehe! My friend has a low budget and the trip to that market is.. uhm.. payable but hmm... I don't know it's payable for her. I just don't wanna go alone, this time. I really like to do something with someone this Christmas.. Last year I was fine being alone with Christmas, but this year I want to spend time with people.

Worked a half day today, it was nice when I walked into the factory at 11:30, mostly everyone greeted me, nice. My second Boss greeted me already when I was putting my bicycle away, lol, he banged on the windows like a little child, "Hey Sjonnie, hey!!" Funny guy! We managed to finish that order from yesterday, lots of work and heavy lifting, but we did it. Now it's the weekend for me, my next working day will be on a Tuesday, we have the Monday off, yay!

Tired and in need of rest this weekend.

Tired and in need of rest this weekend. 

Worked hard today, and I was already feeling sleepy in thee morning. I got up this morning just a bit to early, it was 4:30 am, I setted my alarm at 5:15 am. I figured, I might get up now, I'm totally awake. But, within 30 minutes I felt sleepy again. I couldn't go back to sleep then, it was already late to do that. There was alot to do at work on our own section, working on another section has made that 'we' left our own orders that had be done this week or next week. I knew that this would happen, but oh well.

I managed almost to finish a order half  today, if I would have worked harder then usual, it would have been done. But, hey, I'm not able to. If I would have worked harder then I would have been in pain, and not able to work tomorrow aswell,it's just a half day but still. Yeah, I'm working a half day tomorrow, just to finish a order. That means I will have to change a few things on my schedule this up coming weekend. I was about to go to my Dad this Saturday, that I will do on a Sunday now. 

Why? Jut that I need a resting day after a working day, let's say a day that I won't do that much. Saturday will be that resting day, Tomorrow, (Friday) I will get my 'Buddy contact' Johan in the morning, he will come around 10:00. When he's done with the visit I will slowly take of to work, probably, maybe I will do a little groceries shopping aswell, I need food/dinner for Friday eve'. Saturday I will do the 'major' groceries shopping, it'll be easy. I'm happy with the Monday of day, our Boss celebrates his birthday, so he gave us all a day off. 

That's perfect. Not everyone was happy with the day of on a Monday, like, what is there actually to do on a Monday? They would rather have the day of on a Friday, oh well. My planning/schedule is complete for the weekend, it will be a 'easy going' weekend. Maybe a little more house holdings between the free hours, I will see.

Re-elected and relieved!

Two Posts in one...

I totally forgot to write a post yesterday, so here it is... 


Elections! 

I'm actually quit excited about the US elections today, very curious who's gonna win. Not that I follow it every second or minute, but just the excitement around it. People who vote and the reasons why they vote, or people who don't vote, and their reasons why. I hope the man on the picture above wins, he's calm and brings rest upon people. He loos laid back but aswell firm with his words, he hasn't finished his job yet, he just started. He may finish his job from my part, he has my vote. Though I think it will be a close finish between Romney and Obama, let's see what happens tomorrow.

Today was a day you can compare with yesterday, worked at the same section, same bussyness. Wow we made alot of mats today, good job on us. I noticed that I talk alot more then I use to did these last two days, I like that. It gives a good feeling, yeah, I think I said that aswell yesterday, I think. But oh well, I'm at the right place, with a bunch of nice people. Tomorrow's a day off, a resting day. It's surely a must, oh yes. Sleep in and here and there a few house holdings. I might go out again for lunch again, just like I did last week in the garden centre. 

Though I won't go to the garden centre again, perhaps a little restaurant or a little pub, I'll see. 

Re-elected and relieved!

I'm happy and relieved that Obama won the elections, he hasn't finished his job yet, now he can. I'm excited and curious how the next four years with Mr. Obama will go, I'm sure it will be a tough job with uphills and downhills. But more then the half of the American citizens are having his back, let's do it America, show the world you can!

What a busy day today, not!! Yeah, I really didn't do much today. I washed one wash and that was actually it, most of this Wednesday I rested. In the late afternoon I went out to a few 'friends' of mine who recently have a new house. They lived for many, many months at Humanitas, now there finally on their own. Though it will be tough for them, it's a couple and they lived separated at Humanitas. 

Almost without help from Humanitas 'them being stubborn!`they managed to find a place to live, and now being back together without any counseling and other help it will be tough. But anyway, they had it nice where they live. It is a flat and they live on the second floor. After the visit we both went to the free dinner for a nice meal, afterwards it was heading home again. Work is calling tomorrow, gotta be full of energy and well rested.

It happened again.....

It happened again.....

Translation:

“Dear Mom and Dad, I’ve spent my whole life being mocked, bullied, teased and feeling excluded. You guys are fantastic. I hope you are not angry.
Until we meet again, Tim.

Today this shocking news was written in our Dutch news papers, It happened again. We lost another innocent person and harmless human being. Twenty year old Tim Rubberink, from Holland, took his own life because of bullying. An obituary in a Dutch newspaper the Twentsche Courant Tubantia caused the Internet to talk. It’s an ad for Tim Ribberink, who at the age of 20 committed suicide. His parents printed out his farewell letter.

 The 20-year-old Ribberink was a second year student to become a History teacher. The school has a quiet place decorated to remember Tim. He attended the school for two years and came back later as an intern from his follow-up study in Zwolle. According to the director, he was a studious and enthusiastic student, where they never noticed he had problems. Several teachers of the school cut out the ad and hung it in the classrooms. This way they want to emphasize what the consequences can be when you bully.

Will it ever stop, bullying, sure I was bullied a few times in my youth, but nowadays life is much thougher and harder, and so is the bullying. It's insane actually if you think of it, Bully someone until they kill themselves. I don't even know if there's a law against bullying. If there isn't there should be one. Bullying is everywhere, I'm afraid it will never stop. My heart goes out to the parents and relatives of Tim.

After this tragic news on with this day................................ Today was a working day, a very  busy day aswell. Our almost complete section crew worked at another section, cause 'that' section was busy. Many orders have to be done this week, we do our best. Although the busyness, I love it, though I have to keep a eye open and pay attention while working steady and fast. I dislike making mistakes, I rather go a bit slower then or look twice at a finished product. 

Tomorrow I will work at the same 'busy' section, today I noticed I talk more then usual, I have more jokes aswell, nice feeling. It makes me speak up more aswell, the talking goes easier, finally. Lol, what happened? I don't know, maybe the night out last Friday did me good. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, bring it on! 

Sunday!

Sunday! 

What to write on a Sunday? Not much, not much has happened this Sunday. I did the things I had to do, the usual things I do every Sunday. Ironing, making dinner, resting, getting things ready for tomorrow's work. Those are the most important things, I finished them all.

Lately I notice that I can become slightly addicted to people who gives me more attention then usual. If someone invites me for a coffee, compliments me or has a good conversation with me, I want to hang around with that person more and more. Since I noticed 'that' I am aware that I have to keep my distance aswell. Now, it's not that a huge problem, though I ask myself, 'why do I act like this?' Have I become that addicted to get new friends? 

Saturday's dinner, cooked and then baked potatoes, chopped chicken breast and cauliflower, yum!

I'm not annoying anyone though , I don't see it as a annoying addiction either, (yet) I'm aware what I'm doing, I just noticed this little (akward) behaviour. For example, I recently have contact with a woman, who I know from another friend from Humanitas. She comes often to the 'free dinners' just like me. I'm sure I wrote about her before, she has two grown up kids and her name is Janine. She lives aswell in Almelo.

Now, I shouldn't actually say this but, she's far from someone I would date, or start a relation with. Why? She's just not my type, I just don't fall for her. And yet, I want to spend time with her so now and then since our contact. I get excited when she is involved, I once said to her that I'm looking for a good buddy, and that was all. She often starts to chat to me on FB, just like I start to chat with her.

Sunday's dinner, chopped chicken breast, with Indian sauce and rice!

Remember Ina? Same thing, she's a buddy of mine too. I get jolly when she's around, we have laughs and good conversation, but to start a relationship? No! Far from that, just good friends. I think it's just a wound or scarf inside of me what I have left over from leaving Canada, I have been taken out off a Family, a full house where I got attention and love, and been thrown to be on my own again, starting all over. 

Looking for new friends, attention and love. I'll have to be aware that I have to keep my distance aswell, that I don't become addicted to find friends cause I must. The 'buddy project' I asked for came on a good time, my new 'buddy' told me aswell last week, don't go searching for friends as a need or a must, be happy with going out with yourself too.

The night out!

The night out! 

The casino night out was great, great bunch of people and good food. One fellow worker and his wife picked me up just a little after 5:30 pm, from my house we went to another house to pick another fellow worker up, and then heading out to Enchede. Enschede was the place to be that night, we parked the car on  a huge underground parking lot, and walked towards our dinner. We had to find the restaurant first, it was a Turkish restaurant. Yes, our dinner will be Turkish. I was slightly nerves, but as the evening went on the nerves were getting less and less. Ofcource I was a bit nerves, it was my first night out with my fellow workers. 

The whole working crew weren't complete cause some of the fellow workers didn't wanna go or just couldn't. When we arrived at the restaurant most of the workers were already there, yeah, we had to surch first. I sat beside the people who picked me up and next to the guy who we picked up later, he was alone too. I didn't mind being alone, I had a great time. The dinner was different but I ated most of it, I just don't like 'to' spicy food. Lots of meat, salad, and rice. From the restaurant we were getting a Turkish tea for nothing. After the dinner there was a little speech from one of the staff workers, and from our Boss we received a envelope with money.

I didn't look into the envelope until we arrived at the casino, I guessed I knew how much money there was in the envelope. The walk towards the casino was quit a walk, it rained a bit aswell. The entrance in the casino was great, I have never been there. In Canada I have been a few times in a casino. Everyone looked around and had actually no clue what to do, lol, like it was for everyone their first time. It was all good. Everyone hanged their coats and checked in with there ID and passports, yeah that was a must. I decided to look in the received envelope and started counting the money, I almost couldn't believe what In saw while counting. 

I expected a 30 Euro, like being told by the fellow workers, but instead of 30 I had 80 Euro's, woot! Everyone could do what they want with that money, gamble it or just keep it and take it with you towards home. I was stunned what I received, so I kept the money. My goodness, 80 bucks, who would have thought that? Everyone got 4 tickets aswell for drinks, so I was good. I didn't spend any money, I'm not a gambler, and I don't know how to play, even when you explain me a 10 times. Some of our people gambled, Black Jack was  a popular game, lol. I just enjoyed our being together and ofcource the wonderful casino. Great night out!!

Casino night, what to wear?

Casino night, what to wear? 

Going out tonight, within a hour I will have to get ready. Our staff at work organized a Casino night out for this evening, slightly nervous but excited aswell. So, I thought of wearing a nice casual hoodie but, I think most of the guests in a casino don't wear a hoodie, even if it's a nice casual one. I will be wearing something else. No worries, I will look fine!First we will have a dinner, and then off to the casino.

A fellow worker and his wife will pick me up around 5:30 pm, another fellow worker will be picked up aswell, yup, full car. The casino is in another city, in my favorite city Enschede. Although I'm not that a gambler, I will have fun. Though I'm not gonna waste my money on gambling, well, maybe a bit then, but surely not much. I think it's a waste of money, but hey, who knows I'm gonna win a big sum of money.

I will write about how it was at the casino tomorrow.... Have to get ready.... now!

Is it official?

Is it official?
 
Well, it's not officially yet in my eyes, but I got heared then my working contract has been or will be automatically extend. Yep has been or will be, confusing isn't it? For me it is too. I bumped into my Boss this afternoon at work and daired to asked her about my working contract. She told me: 1) that I shouldn't worry about it, I did my job very well. 2) If I would got fired I would have heard it three  or four weeks ahead, (I didn't heared anything) 3) the contract is/has been automatically extend, and 4) there will be a 'staff talk' soon. That's all positive but aswell 'hmm,' let's say I would rather have signed a paper to make this official. Just like I did last May, then I signed a paper too.

It wars a bit of a confusing conversation I had with my Boss, or I make it myself confusing. Everything what she said was very positivee, she even told me that I was one of 'them' now. Though she told me aswell that there was still enough work to hold me, perhaps she said that a bit differrent but what if there wasn't enough work? What then? Anyhow, I should not worry. If I think about it they worrying will only get worse, and there's even nothing to worry about. I would like to know for how long the second contract is then, another half year, or maybe a year? Time will tell, maybe I will ask my Boss upcoming week or after they had the 'staff talk.'

Guess where I'm going tomorrow night.... From our work out we will be heading of and have a good time at a casino! Woot! This event is oorganized by the staff from our factory. There was a list in our cantine, and on that list was a invite for a casino night out. Every worker could fill in there names and write down with how many they come. After a few doubts I filled in my name aswell, I'm not a that a fan of casino's, but I guessed it will be fun anyway. I wanted to join this too, cause I want to be a part of the group of people where I work with. Not every worker filled in his or her name, but that's okay. We still have alot of people among  us. Here and there a bit nerves for tomorrow night, but I will have fun. 

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween! 

Although it's not that a celebration here, some people here in Holland celebrate it. Specially parents with kids. How different it was when I was in Canada, I had the privilege to celebrate Halloween twice. The first time I was dressed up in a Arabic dress, and the second time I pulled a plastic wagon as a cow, lol. It was fun though, specially to see the kids having the time of their lives. Then afterwards the amount of candy, sigh. Sometimes we had to hide all the candy in our closet, it was way to much to eat it all at once.

What a gorgeous day today, lots of sunshine and not that cold. Perfect Autumn weather, though rain is on his way. Lots of rain actually, yeah, let's not complain, I will wear my rain poncho with a smile. Oh, the last time I wearied it, I think I have to tide my poncho up more. It waved from left to right when I had it on last time when I cycled to work, I looked like superman with his cape. Anyway, rain is on it's way, if I like it or not. I went out today aswell for a little while.... 

Johan, the Buddy project guy, wanted me to go out more with only myself and be happy with that, instead of make it a goal to get more (new) friends. And so I did today, I went out to the garden centre. I had to go there cause I needed a few plants, I had my lunch there aswell. And that was actually my plan to make this a standard, have lunch out every Wednesday. The lunch I had was actually quit expensive, uhm, yeah, what is actually NOT expensive in my eyes, lol! I had a nice large sandwisch and a fresh cup of orange juice. 

It was a nice day off, and I had my rest aswell (Important) Tomorrow could be a important day aswell, I hope I get news from my Boss over my working contract, my half year contract is about to end. Will I get a extension or not? Will I get to hear it tomorrow? Or will they extend the contract automatically? Many questions where I don't have a answer on, am I nervous? Yes, a bit. Life is full of surprises, even with working contracts, lol. I can't find a reason why they won't extend my contract, but still, like I said, life is full of surprises.

Just had a nap.

Just had a nap. 

I had my dinner and waited until I got tired and sleepy but that feeling didn't come. It was still early though, (6:00 pm)  around 8:00 pm I got that tired and sleepy feeling and decided to have a little nap. I slept more then a hour, woohoo! It was 9:30 pm and it was hard to wake up, what to do? To bed or wait till I wake up better. I waited. But I'm sure I won't make it late tonight. I worked hard today, though I worked on another section I had fun. I worked with two other fellow workers and one of them was not to hold, damn he could work. I had to work with him, though I could hold on to my own tempo. But yeah, as the way I am, I try to hold him by with working, cause hey, we work together, right?He was way to fast, so I letted him be. It's not hard work in this section, no heavy lifting and going from here to there. I was standing at a huge table and build mats in any kind of sizes.

Tomorrow's the day off, and I'm looking forward to it. Resting in the morning and probably have a lunch into town, woot! Yeah, my 'new Buddy' (from Buddy project) Johan wanted me to find something to do only for myself, and when I find that something I had to make it a habit or a standard thing. For example, on Wednesday it's a standard I'm doing this or that. I can go to the library and read a book or lend a book, I can go for example out to a friend, just anyone. I can aswell go out for lunch, and that's what I'm gonna do tomorrow. If I like it I will make it a standard. hmm expensive standard, Ah, I will see. No appointments tomorrow, no mail no, nothing. It will be a easy day tomorrow, love it. Nothing heared from my working contract the last two days at work, perhaps Thursday. Thursday it's the 1st of Novemeber, on that date my contract is done and normally it will be extend....or not... eeek!

Short post ahead!

Short post ahead! 

Almost bed time, but first a little writing. I'm cold, but it isn't colder then the last few days. Don't know what it is, I turned up my heater, but I'm still cold. Anyway, early to bed me thinks. Today was a good day for working, though I had here and there muscle pain and felt tired. The weather wasn't a pleasure, last weekend was alot better. It's raining, and more rain is ahead of us this upcoming week. I won't be surprised when we get snow soon aswell, it's all fine with me. Though I have to get used to this coldness.


Work went well too, my second Boss was again sick, his stomach was upset. So I stood alone for a half morning, I was fine but missed my second Boss to confirm the orders. Just before lunch he showed up, yeah he looked sick but 'they' called, cause he was needed. Tomorrow Iwill be working at another section, it's all fine with me. I'm not going to complain, I'm happy that I have work. And that's a good thought. And now off to bed, to find some warmth there. Good night!

Relax, it's Sunday.

Relax, it's Sunday. 

And that's what I did today, relax. It was needed after two hectic days, the cold is still bugging me, though it's getting less. Let's see how it goes tomorrow with work, I know now already that it's gonna be a busy day. Lots to do, my second Boss even wanted to work a few hours extra to get things done. I haven't worked Friday, I needed rest with my cold. Though it turned out a bit different, on Friday in the late afternoon I helped a friend of mine with moving a few couches. And on Saturday I went out for a long forest walk. My nose is still full and my head hurts on and off, I think cause of the thick slime what has to get out. I wish I had a sauna or spa in my house, the steam would have helped. I could steam though with a bucket of hot water and a towel over my head but, I tried that many times before, that's just not my thing. This coming week it will get better

This week I will probably get to hear if my working contract gets a extension aswell, Thursday is that day. Thursday is the day that I work under a contract for 6 months. It was also a contract for 6 months. My thoughts about a extension? I don't know, though I'm not that worried, kinda weird. Maybe later on in the week I will be worried. My thoughts are that I will probably a extension of my contract, but who knows. I can't think of a reason why they would quit with me either, maybe because I only work 3 days a week, and they want someone who want to work a whole week. Further then that, no complains. I'm a good worker, I show alot of enthusiasm, and I'm always there. I will just see what happens, crossing my fingers that it turns out well.

Great afternoon, and not even a nap today!

Great afternoon, and not even a nap today! 

This morning I had annoying headache and felt not so well, I thought, 'here goes my plan for today.'  My plan was to go out in the early afternoon to a forest, to enjoy myself and take some nice 'Autumn' pictures. The forest I would go to is near my Dad's home. But I didn't feel well, but still I wanted to go. And once I want to go I'm really going too. Just a little bit concerned about my headache and sniffy nose I took off after I ated my chicken soup from yesterday, I saved some from last Friday.

I tried a little nap just before going out , but that didn't happen, I was to excited and looking outside and see the sun bursting out of the sky made me wanna leave right away. The trip to the forest wasn't that long, from city Almelo to village Nijverdal is only a small 20 minutes. Though I had to wait for the bus a 15 minutes, not that a great connection. This bus is taking passengers to the next train station, cause Nijverdal is building a huge train tunnel in their village, this building will take one more year.
 

Finally the bus came and brought me and a few other passengers to the next train station, surprisingly it was a free trip, yay! Arrived at the train station it's easy to get to the forest, cross a busy highway, (Thank God for traffic lights) and I'm there. I was prepared for a long walk. And it was a long walk, this forest is huge. You can walk in several directions and come out in several other villages. I took the 'I will walk there where I won't get lost' walk, lol. 

I have been here many times in that forest, ofcource cause I lived here almost all my life. I walked here as a child with my parents and other Family members, such as Cousins and Nieces. As teenager or 20'er I cycled alot here aswell, with my normal bike, my BMX bike or my mountain bike. Many people walk or cycle here, I love this area. It's been quit a while since I been here aswell, so, I really enjoyed this afternoon. 

Here and there the sun disapeared and it looked like rain, but it stayed dry as you can see on the pictures. I walked firm and took breaks aswell, I even made a lunch package, lol. A apple, orange, 2 grain biscuits and a bottle of water, nerdy. After walking a little two hours I got a bit concerned, I got cold and tired, maybe it was a bit to much of a walk for a person who has a cold. But it went good, I had to wait for the bus again, and just before hopping in the train... 

I did my last groceries in Nijverdal. After arriving in my city Almelo, I saw Ina on my way. Ina who lived aswell at Humanitas and is a female buddy of mine, lol. We visit each other quiet often, she offered me a coffee. With here and there a few doubts (it was almost dinner time) I went with her, it was a nice chat with Ina. I should do that more often, no worries of arriving late at home, cause I have all the time in my life.

A wise lesson...

A wise lesson... 

My visit from my new 'buddy' from Buddy contact was short, and he was late aswell. Though it was a good visit, he (Johan) wanted to know what my week and weekends off looks like, or, how do I fill my week and weekends. Johan wanted to know for example what time I get up and what time I go to bed, and what do I do to fill the days. Well, this is what I told him, (long version) let's start with Monday...

Monday I always get up early, even though I putted my alarm on 5:00, I always automatically wake up at 4:15 or even sooner. It's easy to turn around and sleep another hour before I get up for work, but no, if I would try I won't be able to sleep. So, I get up way to early actually at  4:15 or 4:30 and grab slowly my laptop. It's such a nice way to wake up. Some people might grab the newspaper or perhaps a book, I grab my laptop. 

Time flies when your on the net, watching the latest updates from friends on Facebook, read the news and weather forecast. Before I know it it's 6:15 and then it's time to get started to take my medication and prepair breakfast, after my breakfast I do a quick wash up and put my working gear on and grab my jacket and I'm off at 7:00. The ride to work is only a short 20 minutes, I like being on time. Have a little chat in the cantine before I work. 

4:30 and the work is done, I cycle home with another fellow worker who lives near. I won't have much time to have a wash up and get clean clothes on, before I go to the 6 'o' clock dinner. 4;45 I'm home, do a quick Facebook look, a quick wash up and clean clothes on and a quick lunch making for tomorrow's work. 5:30 and I'm off for the free dinner. At 7:00 I cycle back home with my full belly. Around 10:00/10:30 I will be in bed. 

Tuesday is almost the same as Monday, accept there isn't a free dinner. So, nothing quick and fast then. I take my time and don't even have to prepair dinner, I already had made that last Sunday. I always prepair a huge dinner on Sunday, one for Sunday itself and one for Tuesday. I don't like it that much if I have to make dinner after work, just to tired and exhausted then from work. I can go a bit later to bed on Tuesday's, lol, cause I have the day off Wednesday. Though I won't make it to 12:00, cause I will be sleeping then. 

Wednesday is a resting day, though I have plenty of time, this day always flies by. Sleeping out? Hmm, yes and no, I'm always early up. Around 7:00 or even before I will be up doing not much, laptop and naps in the morning. Though there could be that I have appointments then, or that I have to go somewhere because of a mail that hasn't been sorten out. At 4:00 pm I usually take of towards  the free dinner, perhaps a little grocery shopping before. The free dinner is at 5:00. I return when my belly is full, mostly around 5:45 pm.

Early night on Wednesday cause work is calling again on Thursday. Same time to bed as Monday's and Sunday's, around 10:10:30. Thursday you can compare with Monday, only the free dinner will be happening right after my work. I cycle from my work right away towards the free dinner, stopping with work at 4:30, the free dinner starts at 5:00. After the free dinner I will be exhausted and ready for my 3 days off. Relaxing evening ahead.

Friday is a grocery day, and aswell a resting day. I might aswell make plans for the upcoming day then, Saturday is perfect for going out, or not. The 3 days off are mostly okay days, trying to filling them, might be going a day out aswell, or visit my Dad. Or even stay at home and do another second round of my grocery list. Sunday is a easy going and relax day, resting, napping, cooking, a nice day to stay at home, resting for the upcoming working day on Monday.

Johan, my new buddy said that I had long days sometimes, for example Tuesday I will be up at 4:15 am and go to bed around 11:00 or 11:30. That's almost more then 19 hours being up, no wonder I'm tired on my days off, Johan told me to try to get out of bit later, later then 4:15. "Up at 6:00 am is much easier for you," he told me, "You will be perfectly on time still." I'm going to try this next week, trying to sleep one hour more. Johan told me another wise thing, he noticed that I was searching for new friends to overwhelming...

In that way I will never find a friend. It was better not to make it a goal to find new friends, it was better to have a 'I'm really okay and fine when I'm going out on my own' feeling. And that's right, I like going out, even on my own. Though I mostly say to myself, "Hey, it would be nice now to have someone with me now I'm out." Johan gave me a few cores to do for up coming days and next week, he wanted me to find something to do on my days off. "You are going to learn first that it's really okay and that you can have a good time... 

...when your out or do something," Johan told me. I'm actually looking forward to find something to do, I'm not gonna search for people, I'm gonna search for something to do, something that will enjoy me. I'm starting tomorrow, I will write about it what it was. This Friday has been okay, I'm still having that cold but I went out anyway for a bit. A friend of mine offered me to come with her to a second hand store. First she had to pick up a couch on her way. 

It took a while when she arrived at my house, she had someone with her too, I know both of them from Humanitas and the free dinner. It was a bit of a hectic and not that nice out, they were both smoking in the car with the window half open. The cold wind blew many times on my face, not that healthy with my cold me thought, lol. It was a hectic out with many lifting and moving furniture and many cold wind on my face. (Shut the window!!, lol) One friend bought 2 new chairs that had to go to her house, plus the new couch she bought. 

The other friend took over the old couch from the other friend, and that couch had to go to her home. I was late with doing my groceries aswell, not really what I had on my mind with going out with a friend. But oh well, next time it will be better, with me not having a cold and then it will be me with only 'that' one friend...

What on earth was I thinking... rest your body, silly!

What on earth was I thinking... rest your body, silly! 

Even though the cold I have work went pretty well today, managed to do alot and was even thinking of working tomorrow asswell a half day. Yeah right, not. My second Boss came towards me just before closing time and asked me if I could work a half day or not. It was really okay if I decided not to work. I told him that I still feel that cold I have and that I need my rest now. He understood, but oh, the tempting to work tomorrow a half day. We are busy at work, many orders to finish, small and big ones. When I got home from work and the free dinner I felt exhausted and satisfied.

I thought, I will see tomorrow and decide what to do, work or not work. But after my little nap around 8:00 pm,( I felt sleepy, and took a nap) I felt even more sleepier and exhausted. Better not to work tomorrow and rest my body these coming three days, sicken out my cold. Tomorrow with groceries I will buy just a bit more fruit as usual, chicken soup is what I'm thinking aswell. Tomorrow I will have two visitors, my new 'buddy' from Buddy contact and the Boss from Buddy contact. It's the second time they both visit me. 

The first visit was a 'get to know each other' visit. Tomorrow visit will be a first try to get to me started with finding new social contacts, it's about time. My new 'Buddy' will help me with achieving that, think of, joining a club, light volunteers work, etc, etc. I have actually no idea how 'we' get started, but I will surely find out tomorrow. Cold night tonight, only 3 degrees. I putted a thicker blanket on just now. Yeah, I'm glad I decided to get my rest the coming 3 days. It's needed.

Lazy, lazy day!

Lazy, lazy day! 

Resting day like it has to be and always should be, lol. I really didn't do much today, I had no appointments, no visitors, no nothing. I'm, still feeling that cold I have recently, I'mnot concerned, it takes time. I take my fruit , tea and paracetamols. In the afternoon I went to the free dinner, that was nice. They served kale mashed potato today, tasted good and it was the right weather for it. Today's weather was grey and a cooler, aswell it seemed there was fog in the air. Later in the week it will get colder. 

Pictures taken last weekend, when I went to my Dad, it's not the Autumn colors I want to see yet. The leafs are still greenis/yellow.

Clear blue sky is always nice to look at.

I have nothing planned yet for the weekend, but I'm thinking of going to my Dad's village, Nijverdal. Not to visit my Dad but go to the forest there, this forest is huge! I want to take some pictures there, cause I think it will be snowing soon, they forspelled it already. It's easy to get in the forest actually, I only have to take one train station further. I will cross the street and 'hop' there I am in the middle of the forest. 

Pictures taken today, leafs are finally falling.

Leafs!!

Let's see what my cold does the coming days, after the free dinner I was tired and felt sleepy alot, even after two naps today.  Early to bed tonight and tomorrow work, I hope I don't have to work a extra half day on Friday. I need my rest too.

I feel a little cold coming up...

I feel a little cold coming up...

I think it's the weather, yesterday we had 20 degrees above zero, last week it was a bit cool weather, and in the end of the week we might have perhaps snow. The drgrees are going down, Though in the middle of October we had some frost aswell. Crazy weather, no wonder people get sick. The leaves are falling like mad aswell, lovely colors everywehere. I need to get a day out or a afternoon to take some nice pictures. Before I know everything will be covered in snow.

Today's work went well, again on another section. Though I'm not complaining, it was nice working there, different and nice. On my own section I lift alort, on today's section not much. I worked hard these two days, it was all good. Tomorrow a day off, it's nice to have a resting day. Nothing planned, no appointments, nothing. Love it. Nothing else to report people, only that I have a sniffy nose, cause of the cold. Might get some nose spray tomorrow...

"Stop worrying!"

"Stop worrying!" 

For me sometimes worrying (read: always) seems necessary, when I worry about something it mostly always turn out well. Though worrying alot isn't healthy, and it's surely not a nice feeling. I worried yesterday about my trip to Copenhagen, it seemed  I was to late with the paying. I thought I had to pay four weeks before the trip date, though it was six weeks. I received a letter from the travel company last week with them telling me that I still had to pay for the trip, they would like that I payed within five days, or there would be a chance that the trip would bel canceled. Though I opened the letter yesterday and not last week, I was late yes, I panicked and payed the trip right away online, hoping afterwards that this trip wouldn't be canceled. In my eyes I was way to late with paying, the five days were already past...

This morning I looked on the calendar and started counting the weeks from the day that I payed for the trip until the date of the trip (29th of December) I counted six weeks and a few days, so, I was good. Though I worried cause of the received letter saying 'paying within five days,' this morning I called the travel company at work. I Asked them if my paying is confirmed, and if my trip is canceled. Well the paying is confirmed, and the trip isn't canceled. When I got back from work I even got a answer on the email I sent yesterday, the booking was complete, paying is done, I will receive in a few days the official confirming. Yay, now stop worrying! I think I will start worrying now for next week, lol. Next week I will probably get to hear if I can stay working for another half year, in other words, a extension of my working contract.

Fellow workers told me that the Boss would have given you a hint already the last day or weeks if the contract would not be extended. Hmm, I don't know, this company is aswell full of surprises I noticed. Though I can't find any reason why they won't hire me for another half year, maybe only that I can work only 3 days, they probably want someone who can work for 5 days. Further then that it's all positive with me, I do my best, never been sick, work extremely well, I have been flexible, can copy very well with the other workers, etc, etc. I should actually not even worry, though I do, it goes automatically, ans I guess it's normal aswell. So yeah, it's fine, let me worry, lol. Maybe then it will be fine. Oh, and today's work? That went very well, I did alot, I managed to finish more then I actually expected, was well happy with that. A bit sore muscles and a bit tired afterwards but oh so satisfied!

Canceled?

Canceled? 

My trip to Copenhagen with New Years is probably canceled, because I had to pay this trip at least six weeks before the actual trip date. And I thought it was four weeks! When I confirmed this trip back in June I even putted a note on my calendar saying, 'Pay trip to Copenhagen,' a month before the trip. I got a letter from the travel company telling me I still had to pay for this trip, they wanted me to pay within five days, if not then the trip will be canceled.  I usually wait until I open my mailbox, wrong, I know! I'm to stressed sometimes to open it, "It can wait," I think then. Well, this time it couldn't wait. The travel company sent the letter on the 9th of October, and probably I received it last week, maybe Wednesday, Thursday or Friday, or even Saturday. If I had checked my mail sooner, I would have been on time with my trip paying, (I think) 

And now? Well, I payed right away in the early morning online. (Always paying online) Though I thought about it, shall I pay or not? I did, and I sent the travel company a email telling them what happened, told them sorry, and that I had paid this morning. The company is closed on Sunday's, tomorrow from 8:00am until 10:00pm there open. I will call them right away tomorrow at work, I want answers, lol. I will be jumping for you if the trip is not canceled! If it's been canceled, then I will see what I do, going on a trip or not. Canceled means aswell I have to pay 75% of the confirmed trip, sigh! I will loose most of my money, and then to book another trip? I do not know. Perhaps a cheap New Years or Christmas trip somewhere in Holland. I will see. I am keeping my fingers crossed for tomorrow. Roll on Monday!

Just a Saturday.

Just a Saturday. 

Today was visiting Dad on my schedule, I went there in the late morning around 11:00. It was still pretty warm outside, unusual warm for this time of year. I switched my winter coat for a thinner one, it surely was needed. Before I took of I had a nap, and decided to have one more after Dad's visit. The visit was quit alright, I bought Dad the sippy cup, two new comfy pants and flowers. He was happy with my visit and my Aunt wasn't there, though I always check the parking lot for my Uncle's car, lol. So much better when my Aunt's not around.

After the visit I took my second nap, and then a early dinner preparing. I had plans to go out this evening but that didn't go trough. I had a coffee 'date' with one of my friends, but she went out with her Son to a football match. It would have been just a visit to a friend, chatting and drink a few coffee's, that's all. But okay, perhaps next time. Today I have been thinking of my time in Canada a few times, don't know why. Do I think alot of that time lately? No, not much, I mean surely not that much as back in the beginning of 2011.

Thinking about it today made me miss my time in Canada, just being there and do the things I did there. Shopping with Saf or just the kids, walking or cycling to the park with the two young ones, the talks, the singing, the jokes, etc, etc. Although the break up and although the 'getting used to everything,' I surely had as great time too. The loving and attention was surely worth while, but I'm here now and that is good too. If I could do it all over again, I would have done it much different, better, much better. Kinda cliche to say, but it's true though. 

I learned alot being in a first time relationship, aswell being a father, oh yes! I have been put trough a test by God, I guess, haha!  Do I wish I could do it all over again? Hmm, I don't know, if that means I have to sell everything here and give up everything here again, then it's a no! But if I could go back in time, to let's say 2009 March being on my way to Saf, yeah, then it's a yes! I never will regret my time in Canada, I had a great time there, and yes aswell though times to get used to things, it surely was a hard lesson to learn. It was a great adventure, only wish I could have stayed longer.

I have become stronger, wiser, and I'm good here. Though I wanna go back one more time, back to Mississauga on a little vacation. Meet friends, see the area, I wonder what that will do to me, it will bring back alot of memories for sure if I would go now, so I will wait a few years, whenever I'm ready. Visiting Sad aswell? No, that will bring alot of memories back, ans seeing the kids, hmm, I'm not ready for that, and I don't think I will ever be. Yeah I miss them when I wrote this post.

Almost a full weekend...

Almost a full weekend... 

Yawning alot this evening, soon I will go to bed. I worked a half day in the afternoon, and I took my rest in the morning. Just before lunch I bought quick most of my groceries for the upcoming week. Though it's been quit a full day, I'm quit tired now and ready for bed. It's been extraordinary warm aswell today, more then 20 degrees and lots of sunshine, were almost in November! The weekend will be the same, nice temperature and sunshine, I'm not complaining. 

Tomorrow I will be heading of to Dad, it's been 3 weeks since I last saw him, so yeah, it's time. The comfy pants I bought him 3 weeks ago fitted him well, he was happy with it. Dad's nurse asked me to buy one more for him, ofcource I will, I like doing things for my Dad specially when I live not near him. Dad needs a new mug aswell, he needs one with a, uhm, how you say that in English? It's actually a mug like babies have, a sippy mug. Dad doesn't have that much strength anymore in his hands or legs. 

Kinda sad to see him like that though, he used to be such a hard worker, and now on his old age.... I will buy some new flowers aswell, he likes that. Kinda weird that I didn't hear from my Aunt lately, she use to call daily or weekly, but since that 'argue' she called much more less. Last time she called was 3 weeks ago, thumbs up, I'm pretty fine with it. It saves me alot of nerves and stress for sure.

I will be going to my Dad late in the morning, fist I wanna sleep in, it's needed. Probably I will visit a friend aswell Saturday eve,' I promised her a few times but I refused a few times. I know her from the free dinners, and from mutual friends from Humanitas. I like it to have (new) friends, though I'm pretty aware of what kinda people I choose as friends, I always keep an eye open, specially people from Humanitas. (Most of them you can't trust)

It ofcource takes time to get to know people, the person where I'm going to tomorrow seems nice and fun to be around, so far so good. Though I should keep more distance aswell, I noticed from myself that I get to much carried away when it comes to socializing, I don't have to see everyone who gives me attention as a friend. I noticed that I'm in need of some good friends, in 'that' I get a bit to much carried away sometimes. And that can be not always good.