Switching the radio off....

Switching the radio off.... 

I'm quiting the 'radio' job... I just don't know, all the time these nerves before going to radio and while I'm at the radio, it's just to much. Last night the radio crew sent me new schedule fort the weekend, when I saw my name on Saturday the nerves began again, I didn't looking forward to Saturday. I don't like that feeling! Though I asked myself today, 'Why not just stay a little longer? Is it really that bad and sressfull?' Yes and no! But yeah, I'm quiting... sure I could stay a little longer, but the nerves will stay, I know that, cause I know myself. This radiostation, or these  programs in the weekends is not my thing. I have to pay attention on so, so  many things, and the nerves for screwing up. ugh! Damn, 80% in my head says, 'quit,' and 20% says, 'stay.' Decisions, decisions! Though, if I will quit, there will be a relief.

I will make a decision tonight, I will have to cause the radio crew will have to find a replacer for me for the Saturday. Anyway... Work was good again, lol, I really love it there. I should start saing prayers if they gonna hire me for good, right? I fit there a 100%, work is easy and it's nice, the fellow workers are nice aswell and they like me. Tomorrow my fellow workers want to make a birthday hat for me onThursday, I will have to wear it, I'm sure I will. Yeah, tomorrow's my Birthday, 44 years old, geesh, I'm getting old. I won't celebrate my birthday tomorrow though, just taking it easy and do the things I need to be doing. Relaxing is a must, cause I worked hard today. Though a few residents from Humanitas want to visit me tomorrow night, I like that. And perhaps my Aunt and Uncle will drop by by suprise, hmm, I'm not really looking forward to that...

My Aunt will prolly 'nag, nag and nag, nag,' again. I was planning to go to my Dad tomorrow aswell actually, but it's so cold out, and I'm tired, I would like to rest tomorrow and take a few'me' times. Yes, it's cold in Holland people, minus 10 this comming night. Last night it was minus 5, thank god it's not raining. I had to go out twice last night, sigh, bathroom visits, and it was so cold. When I go to bed cold, it might take a few hours when I will be warm again. My heating system in my body is slow, lol. I should start planning to go to sauna's again, it's sure been a while, there is no sauna in this city so I should seacrch a bit further. A sauna with this cold weather is SO nice! Sauna's are expensive though, in the past I went every weekend, I met always the same people there, that was a good time.

P.s: I made the desicion, I sent the 'radio' just a mail, telling them I quited. Wow, that was pretty difficult and a though job to do. I felt bad writting the mail, I explained why I quited, and I appoligized a few times. They so need more people at the radio, and there I was telling that I'm quiting. Well... I did it.. relieved? Yes, but, I'm not looking forward to there reaction, I hope they understand why I quited. lol, even when I quit the radio I still have nerves about it. Anyway...

Cold, colder, coldst!

Cold, colder, coldst! 

Yep, it's cold, but I like it, it's so much better then the loads of rain what we had. Though there was a hard wind today, a cold wind. And it's going to be colder this week, it will be freezing hard and there might be some snow. Freezing means ice-skating in Holland, we have several ice-skating areas around here during the winter. Ofcource we have lakes and ponds that will turn into a ice-skating areas automaticly aswell if it freezes hard enough. I'm not that a ice-skater, when I was a kid I tried it a few times but.. it was just not my thing. It's popular here in Holland, when it freezes hard enough you will see lost of Dutch people ice-skating. 

Work went fine, I had some other duties to do. That's nice aswell for a change, but I missed the old work what I usually do aswell today. I had to make mats, but these mates were made differently. Lots of work but I liked it. Tomorrow I will be doing the same. My Boss and her partner are still on a vacation, they both will come back on Wednesday so I heard. I hope my Boss knows what's going on on the workfloor, knowing that it's busy. This week I will priolly get to hear if I can go or stay, or my Boss tells me that I can stay a little longer and that I will get to hear (again) later if I can stay... My feelings are so, so about it, I really can't say if I have to go or stay, it's 50/50 for me, I just don't know. 

It's very busy though the last few weeks, and still it is. I actually can stay, cause the Boss told me that if it gets busy then there's a 100% chance that they will hire me. But yeah, you never know it, nothing is so suprising as a Boss. I will just see it and hear it, if I have to go then I will go back to Reha, if I can stay I will be a very happy man. I like this work, I like the fellow workers and they like me. I belong here, this jog feels very good, I actaully don't feel like starting all over again at Reha. If I have to back to Reha, I will have to work there again, then the staff will find another fitting job for me... A new job, new fellow workers, a new factory, ugh, that's what I mean with starting all over, can I pass and just stary with the work what I have now?

Colder days are comming...

Colder days are comming... 

It's zero degrees right now, and it's going to get colder this comming week, the weatherforecast reported minus 10 in the night on Thursday. Now weather forspelling in Holland is not always a succes, they forspelled aswell a 'horror winter' aswell, but I haven't seen any horror yet. Though it's cold right now and it's grey, so I just will see what happens. It's normal aswell for the wintertime these low tempatures, I say, bring it on. This Sunday went fast, I woke up on a nice time, around seven, still early though, but okay. I took a few needed naps, wow I could have take a nap longer but it's better not, otherwise I won't catch my sleep tonight.

I had a few things to do today, I ironed my working clothes, shaved my hair and did a bit of my weekly cleaning trough the house. Mostly the cleaning involves a broom and a dustpan, I love not having carpet, though I would like to have a (certain) carpet in my storage room one day, I can perhaps get it for free at work. I still have a few paying to do these comming months, sigh, A few of them has to do with my time in Canada, the care allowance and the housing benefit  still payed me out while I was in Canada. I thought that I payed everything back, but there was still a little amount that I have to pay back, well, little... Good news is that I can pay the amount of money back in terms, every monththere taking a little amount of my bank account, this all goes automaticly.

Oh my god, look at this... Can I go now? Can I?

In a few weeks I will have to pay the dentist treatments aswell, though I'm insured and though the insurance will take half of the payement, it's still quit a bit. I should start saving money for.... ermm, well, I would like to get a few things done in the comming half year. Like, curtains, I need curtains in the livingroom and the sleepingroom. But first I want a radio/cd player, just a small one with speakers, so I can listen to the radio and play my (new) cd's. The most important reason why I should start saving money is... that I would like to go on a trip this summer during my holiday, flying is a must! lol. I already looked up a few traveling sites where they have cheap excursion flights, yes, I love excursion trips, (I still remember the London excursion trip, wow!) And the flying? Oh I miss the flying so much!

So yeah, saving money is really a must. I always take it easy though with my money, I'm always aware of what I buy or what I have to pay. Alright, last year I had a few goals, and most of these goals I achieved, I'm most proud of the London trip. A few of my new goals for this year: A payed job, finishing my house, going on a flying trip. (that was one of my goals for last year aswell, but I guess it was to early for that) No dating? Sometimes I think to myself, 'Let's have a peek on one of the hundreds Dutch datingsites,' but so far I haven't. That's a sign I guess that I don't think it's that important yet, if you look at my goals... that's important for me at the moment. 

Finding a date? Such things can aswell happen while I'm on my trip or even while I'm working with the radio or even while I'm shopping, lol. Miracles still do excist, you know. Hahaha, I'm fine though, the 'dating' part will happen I'm a 100% sure of that. And I'm sure that God has a plan with me...

Realizing how much music I lost last year does hurt.

Realizing how much music I lost last year does hurt. 

Before I went to Canada I had tons, tons, tons of cd's, lp's, singles, now that I have been to the record fair I relaize how much I really had. I lost them all, Saf sold everything ...with my permision. I'm sure it would have take ages to get to a deal to ship my music, or better, I think we never would have come to a deal to ship my music. We both didn't had the money for it, and I was just okay with selling everything in Canada. I didn't want to deal with this situation anymore, I was done with it. It was aswell a relief to leave 'it all' behind me. But now, lol, now I realized again how much music I had. Anyway, I went to the record fair, and it was good, suppa good. I had a good day! 

Choo choo, in the train!

I took a train earlier, like always, ofcource. I walked towards the trainstation and when I got there it was crowded, suppa crowded. Akward though cause I sure was early, why are all these other people be up so early then? I got me a train ticket, (the full amount, grr!) and waited for the train. The train was already quit full when it came, and all the other people who were waiting had to get in the train aswell. What's going on? Are they all going to the record fair? I nearly couldn't find a place to sit in the train, finnaly I saw a little spot where I kinda could sit. An old lady told me that the most people in this train have a cheap day-ticket, the day-ticket what I couldn't get yesterday, cause they were sold out. Today was actually the last day for these special tickets, the lady told me.

The lady had one too, she bought the ticket in another store, there they sold the day-ticket for 14 Euro instead of 16 Euro. Rub it in, lady lol, rub it in. There I was in the train, I payed the full amount and I didn't even had a pleasant seat, lol. But anyway, I'm going to have a great day, I thought. The trip wasn't that long, I had to get out of the train twice, cause I had to switch between trains. I left this morning at 8:45 am and I arrived in Amsterdam at 10:40 am, that's a nice time. I walked with two other guys to the record fair where I spoke with before I switched with the last train. One guy was pretty excited to go to the fair, he kept talking about record fairs and his music, bless him, lol. Nice guy! It was akward to walk that route again to the fair, I have been here quit a few times in the past. 

Records, records and records.

But it's been aswell quit a while since I have been at this fair, being almost two years in Canada did really something with me. The fair wasn't that busy and I expected the hal would have been bigger, but it wasn't. The guy where I walked with wished me a happy fair and walked off, I thanked him and wished him well. I was looking for cd's for a change, otherwise I would have searched for vinyl, lp's and singles. But I don't have record players anymore, and I don't have plans to buy them either, there sooooo expensive. I don't have a cd player nor raido either but, radio/cd players arent that expensive. The cd searching went well, though there were so many lp's and singles, I really had to search for good and cheap cd's. Ofcource there were aswell expansive cd's but while searching I really saw some nice cd's for cheap aswell. I figured out that ten Euro for a cd was the most less cheapest.

I decided to buy cd's only under 6 Euro, but if I find a good cd above the 6 Euro it will have to be a GOOD cd, but I'm not going higher then 8 Euro. I saw cd's what I already had before I went to Canada and aswell oldies wich I never had, I bought quit a few. Here are some name's, The Beatles, Bryan Ferry, David Bowie, Nirvana, Talking Heads, Duran Duran, and a few more, I'm so excited and happy what I bought. And all that foor a good price, I had a good sum money left after I was done with buying, that sure gave a good feeling aswell. It still was early when I left the fair, 1:45 pm. I was fine with it, I walked on the fair for more then three hours. The fair wasn't that big, and I saw everything. I decided to walk in Amsterdam a little bit further, the fair was held in the west of Amsterdam and not in the centre.

A few of the billions bikes in Amsterdam!

I haven't been that much in this part of Amsterdam, so, time to explore the west of Amsterdam. I noticed the many, many, many bikes across the street, my goodness, there were sooooo many! In many kind of shapes and colors the cycles were standing in racks or against a tree or just kris kross. I easily could fill a picture album if I took pictures of the bikes, could be an idea, right? I went trough a few streets and a park and went then back to the train station, 3:00 pm, I will be home at 4:30 pm , that's a nice time. I could have stayed longer but I was satisfied and tired. That's just me, lol, I'm satisfied pretty fast, lol. Ooh, I loved the train back, it was  a German train and this time the train wasn't full at all. This German train has lots of space and has even a little bistro. One waitress came passing and asked if I wanted a coffee, lol, I passed.  

The train went from Amsterdam to Almelo, I didn't have to switch between trains, I just could sit and relax and even have a nap. The journey back was so much better then the journey like this morning. I went trough my cd's what I bought, snacked on a apple and had a little nap. When I arrived in Almelo I went to the nearest snack shop for a quick small dinner. The meal I bought looked a bit like a McDonalds meal but it was way bigger, even though the price was almost the same. I had a huge kebab sandwich with veggies and sause, french fries, (quit alot) and a juice. I had the small meal, I could have ordered the medium or the large meal aswell. But when I saw the small meal, I saw it was more then enough. Then heading home for a well deserved portion of relaxing, I could hear the water kettle already. It's been a nice day!

Ready for tomorrow!

Ready for tomorrow!

The groceries are done, the laundry is hanging, it's time to rest and relax untill tomorrow. I putted the groceries away and hanged the laundry, and looked trough some flyers. I saw in one flyer a cheap sale for special train tickets. Just what I needed for tomorrow! Once or twice a year this store sells these train tickets for cheap, these tickets called day-tickets. With these day-tickets you can travel trough whole Holland from 9:00am untill the last train for only 16 Euro! Woot! The flyer I saw was already a few days old though, so there could be a change that these special tickets were sold out. Decisions, decisions, what desicions! Get on your bike and get a day-ticket! I didn't plan to go out further today though, I was tired and was looking ahead for my rest, but hey, 16 Euro for a train ticket! If I buy a normal train ticket tomorrow it will cost me 38 Euro and 20 Euro cent.

The day ticket will save me alot of money, the groceries from this morning were quit expensive too. It was just one of the months that my fridge and kitchen cabinets were almost empty. The normal price when I buy my groceries for a week is always under the 20 Euro, sometimes deep under the 20 Euro, lol. This morning I spent a small 22 Euro on groceries, and I was like "Damn." I could easily sum up a few things I didn't really need but okay. I needed three little bottles of juice for work, one for Monday, one for Tuesday and one for Thursdays, but the bottles I needed weren't loose. They were packed in a package of six bottles, grrr! (On a positive side, I will have three bottles extra for the other week.) I bought as a snack for work four little rasin breads, cause they were cheap. I always buy snacks for work, it's nice with the first coffee break.

So, I had my six bottles for work plus my raisin bread snacks, also for work. Why did I buy then an extra package of corn biscuits? Uhm, well, I love snacks, but I snack healty, or atleast I try. I always make a decision in the store, will it be the corn biscuits for work or will it be the raisin bread, what is cheaper. Today I bought them both! Sometimes I have a little snack while I have my coffee around 8:00 pm. Healty snacks, LOL!  The other extra's I bought were just needed, I was out of potatoes, out of muesli, and out of... did I mentioned snacks already? The fridge is quit full now, but that's good, right? I surely will take care of my food and take it easy with it, lol. Funny thing in the supermarket, I forgot to weigh my bananas, and I was already in line. (When you buy fruit in this supernarket you have to weigh the fruit you buy.) 

So, yeah, I went to the store for the special train tickets, I took all the time I got. On my way I was already thinking, "I hope they still have the tickets." The store wasn't so busy, lol, the cashier's were cleaning. I asked for the train tickets, but they were sold out said the cashier. Dang! This special sale was already going on for five days and it lasted till Sunday. In other words, I was to late, sold out! What a bummer, it sure would have saved me alot of money, but anyway. Next time I will be sure the first one... I took a second nap when I got back, the sun shinned fully trough the windows, and on my thick socks. The heat woked me up, it was warm in the house. I relaxed further and putted a few things ready for tomorrow, so I don't have to rush in the morning. Not sure what time I will leave with the train, I can take the trian from 8:45am or 9:15am. I like to be on time, and it's Saturday, meaning, it's gonna be crowdy for sure.

Looking forward for the weekend!

Looking forward for the weekend! 

First a nice relaxing resting day, and then off to Amsterdam for the record & CD fair on Saturday. The rest is needed, work went well today. I took it easy and build it up slowly, for sure no heavy lifting. I was sawing the whole day, nice work but aswell tough work. I really could feel it in my arms and wrists, the chestpain felt okay. The pain was there, but later on it eased down, I think the painkillers helped. Ooh.. and after work it started to rain, and the rain went harder and harder. Every Thursday after work I ride straight to the 'free dinner,' I had my rain pants on, but I got soked anyway. I so dislike the rain lately, I got soken wet again. When I got home after the 'dinner' I took all my wet clothes of and putted on dry, warm clothing on. Though they forspelled frost upcomming week, minus 15, woow!

Heard on the radio today: There's something new in Holland what I dislike, the dentists can decide there own prices now when it comes too prepairings or treatments, for example, if someone needs a crown, the dentist can decide what the price will be for that crown. And the dentists are already so expensive in Holland with there treatments. I always have that 'untrusted' feeling when my dentist is at work with my teeth, like, 'okay, this filling needs to be replaced, and that tooth needs another treatment,' then I think, really? Well, yeah, he's the dentist, so, he should know it, hmm! Still!! Yeah, that's a thing I'm really gonna dislike, 'Dentists can decide there own prices.' Sigh! Let's see how I'm gonna go trough that. There telling that insured people can inform there insurance (healtcare) for information for what to do. I'm looking for a new dentist anyway, so, I will have a little chat with my insurance.  

Tomorrow I will take it easy, I have two things on my 'to do' list, groceries and laundry. I wont do groceries on Saturday cause then I will be out, that counts aswell for the laundry. I could do laundry on Sunday but I won't get my working clothes dry then before Monday.morning.  No working at the radio this weekend, the next weekend I will be present again, let's see if I still have the nerves then, lol. And further, further not that much. I'm sitting on the couch with my laptop while I'm writing this post, when I look to my left I see a white wall, lol and when I look to my right, I see a cuppa tea and I see the TV  is on. When I turn my laptop on after dinner I turn aswell the TV on for some background sound or information. Mostly I watch the news and channel 3, channel 3 has lots off talk programs and docu's. Aswell alot of fun and nonsense programs, it's fun to watch at.

Picture time!

Picture time! 

Still I feel a bit the chest pain from yesterday, it bothers me and I try not to think about it. Sometimes I wish I was a doctor, lol, so I could see or feel right away what I have, like now with this chest pain. So that I know what it is and have to worry less.  I still think the pain has to do with my muscles, I guess I carried a bit to heavy or to much yesterday. Anyway, time will tell, or better, time will heal, (hopefully) I'm taking my time today, I rested and took already a nap. My counselor came a bit after 3:00 pm,there is not much to do anymore for him, I almost reached all my goals and achieved all my 'things what needs to be done'. 


My counselor will help and guide me untill April, then I will be on my own for real. When 'then' there's something going on with for example insurances or taxes, I will have to do it on my own. I'm not worried, I learned alot from last year, and I learned alot from my two counselors. I changed aswell in a good way, I the last year I walked into so many community buildings, I know where to go now, and who I need to talk too. I'm going to Amsterdam this upcomming Saturday, there's a record & CD fair in the Rai. The Rai is a huge hal building, there's always something to do. This weekend there's the record & CD fair, I'm excited to go. 


Funny though, I might buy a few cd's for cheap this Saturday, but I don't even have equipment to play the cd's on, lol. I'm not worried about the equipment, I can buy that for cheap. I don't need the huge speakers what I use to had, or the large and the huge equipment what I use to had I don't need either. Just a small micro-set with some decent speakers and I'm fine, this is a small house, a small house doesn't need a huge booming sound equipment. If I can listen to the radio or play a cd, I'm good. The cd's are always half price on a fair, or even cheaper, it's really a must for the music freaks, roll on Saturday. 


Time for some pictures! 

Sunset in Almelo, just a few minutes before 5:00 pm. Such a lovley picture.

Our little harbor in our city, once a year there's a special harbor's day here. Nice!

Gravity art, yep, here aswell in this city! Love it or hate it, I think this one is okay.

I love these tiny streets in a city, small old houses with so many old things, it reminds me of the past.

An old factory in Almelo, this factory is ready to be broken down. I had to take a picture of it, cause I thought it would be a great picture.

This old man always sits next to me with the free dinners on Wednesdays and Thursdays. He's homeless, but has the option to sleep in a night-shelter during the night. Sometimes he does that , sometimes he doesn't. He's over 80 year, once he told me, "Once your homeless and live on the street for so many years like me, you don't know else... it becomes a lifestyle, put me in a nice house for myself and I will not like it, the street is my life."












Lunch for tomorrow's work, I sure will take it easy tomorrow cause of my chest/muscle pain. I will just see how it goes, for sure I will finnish the day. It's only one day, then I will have three days off. Then it's rest, rest and rest. 

...And then I fell! LOL!

...And then I fell! LOL! 

Nice weather this morning, there was no rain but frost on the cars, and a tiny bit frost on the road. I like such weather in the wintertime, no rain, cause rain is for Autumn or Summer. I cycled towards work with my hands in my pockets, I forgot my gloves. I do it easily, hands in my pocket and not on the stearing wheel while riding my bike. I saw frost on the cars but not on the road, weird. When I almost was at work I saw another fellow worker in front of me riding his bike, suddenly in a curve in the road I saw the fellow worker going from left to right. I thought, "What's wrong with him?" And all of a sudden, "Beng!!" I fell, the road was slippery from the frost, huh? All the way there was nothing going on the roads were fine, I had my hands in my pocket and it went so easily!  And now, Beng!? 

I felt quit hard but nothing injured, just a few bruises and scratches. I had no clue how I fell, lol. It went so fast, the fellow worker waited for me, and asked me how I was. It was the conversation of the day, slippery roads, Sjon fell! I wasn't the only one though, another fellow worker fell too when I was already in the cantine. Lol, fun to get some attention, either way I was in a bit of pain. Work was fine again, same work like yesterday. Though on the end of the day I felt muscle pain on my chest, I wondered what that could be. Did I worked a bit to hard then today? Naah, today was okay, I had bussier days with heavier work. Uhm, I think I lifted to much heavy stuff. I had to take three mats and not five or more mats at once. 

Hundreds of mats had to be cleaned today, There was glue and other dirt on the mats, when they were cleaned we had to pack them five by five in a hardboard box. I packed so many and lifted up so many, though I felt good while cleaning and packing, I liked the work. But in the end of the day there was the muscle pain in my chest. Muscle pain ussualy comes afterwards.When I got home I took a painkiller, and I will take another one when it's time for bed. I'm glad I have a day off tomorrow, I will surely take my rest. Just relaxing and not doing much, that will do me good. In the late afternoon my counselor will visit me, he comes once in two weeks. Still I have to do a few payings the following weeks and months, I sure can use some little advice from my counselor. But first some relaxation and a pleasant night rest.

I 'love' my job!

I 'love' my job! 

There I said it, I LOVE my job! Put me anywhere in the factory and I will love it, I like the work I have to do and I like the fellow workers around me. Today was a nice day at work, were still busy with the many, many mats we have to produce in a short time. Were on schedule and we have to keep up the hard work, I like the challenge. Everyone is working hard and while working hard there is time for a laugh too. We make fun too ofcource, we sometimes sing along with the radio or we throw something little to each other. Just a piece of paper or a piece of hardboard, it's so innocent.

Next week on February 1st I will prolly get to hear if I can go or stay, My thoughts? Well, it's vey busy so I think..... uhm... I don't know, I think it will be fifty/fifty. I really hope I can stay, I belong here, this job gives me such a good feeling. Next week will be my birthday aswell, on February 1st I will celebrate my 44th birthday. Damn, I'm getting old, lol. But the funny thing is I don't feel that old, I don't feel I'm 44. Or do I? I mean... I don't have much energy, my muscles gets tired fast, I forget things easily, specially when I have to remember many things. I have these sympthons already for many years, blame my sick thyroid.

I have these sympthons from the moment I got diagnosed with a sick thyroid (2003), a lack of energy, fast sore muscles, forgetting things, ect, ect. I got used to it though, I know what I'm able off, I know when to stop and I know when to go on. It became a lifestyle, or how do you say that, I'm used to it. I'm used to get tired or have weak muscles, ect. I'm fine with it aswell, it could have been alot worser. Though I feel a bit better now, in 2003 when I got diagnosed, I really took it easy with myself. A bit 'to' easy though. Now when I have all these years of experience behind me I really know my own body, and I know how much energy I got, like I said, I know when to stop and I know when to go on. 

The Beatles - Let It Be!

"In moments of discouragement, defeat, or even despair, there are always certain things to cling to. Little things usually: remembered laughter, the face of a sleeping child, a tree in the wind—in fact, any reminder of something deeply felt or dearly loved. No man is so poor as not to have many of these small candles. When they are lighted, darkness goes away and a touch of wonder remains."

"It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness."

"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy."

"All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me. You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."

" I know life, at the moment, can be a horrible, cold place; when you're too depressed to move, too sad to talk, and so closed-up that everyday, you cry to yourself internally, never letting anyone know your pain. I know that life is better than this. Get out of bed. Take a walk outside in the beautiful sunshine, take a deep breath and breathe in the grace and wonders of life. Smile and laugh with those whom you call friends. I know, whenever you're down, in that cold place, throw away your bad thought and just think of life and how outstanding it is to be alive."

" A friend is one who looks beyond the broken fence
And admires the flowers in your garden."

" It is not easy to live life some times and face the world with a smile when you are crying inside. It takes a lot of courage to reach down inside yourself, hold on to that strength that's still there and know that tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities. But if you can just hold on long enough to see this through, you'll come out a new person-stronger, with more understanding and with a new pride in yourself knowing you made it."

"And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me.Shine until tomorrow, let it be!"

I lost my 'radio' skills, where are they?

I lost my 'radio' skills, where are they? 

I might quit the 'radio' job, I don't know. I know I'm still learning and I know it's way to early to think about quiting but, I just don't know. It's nerve wracking work, it's not just a radio program with just playing songs over and over. It's so much more. In the six hours we have were broadcasting 'live' with many items, we have recorded intervieuws, a new recorded weather report, live intervieuws and ofcource music. I have to keep an eye on everything, specially the time plus the many buttons on the keyboard. It is so much, what makes it nerve wracking is the fact that the program is live, you can't screw up. I have to know what comes next after a song, for example, is the DJ gonna anounce a live intervieuw or does he introduce the weather, if he does then I have to get these items ready. And when I have them ready I will have to click on them when the DJ gives a sign.

It seems easy but it's not. Pushing a button when you really know it's the right button you need is easy, lol. Mostly we use the computer to pick a radio- jingle, a song, or a recorded intervieuw, it's not that easy sometimes to use a computer mouse to pick a song or a jingle. Sometimes you have to double click, or right click, ect. Confussing sometimes, I made a few mistakes this afternoon cause I double clicked on a song while the DJ gave me a sign to play the song. When he raizes his hand after he said something to the listeners, then that's my sign to play a song when his 'finger' is in the air. I double clicked the song and the computer asked me what to do with the song, ugh! I was to late, a silince of five seconds followed, five seconds is long when your 'live.' I had another song ready though, but the five seconds of silince.. we can't turn that back. 

I also double clicked on a recorded intervieuw, lol, the beginning of the intervieuw sounded like a 80's rap, lol and sigh!. But further it went well, it wasn't all mistaskes this afternoon. I got there early and when I arrived the DJ and the program maker were already there. The technician who helped me the last time was there aswell, but he had to go in a hour, I had to do it alone this afternoon, eek! "The program maker will help you here and there and aswell the DJ," the technician told me. I thought the program maker would sit next to me, to give me advice so here and there, but she didn't, she had other things to do. It was just the DJ and me, the DJ in one little studio and I'm in a other little studio, with a desk with lots of buttons and two computers screens and lot's lot's more. I can see the DJ though trough thick glas, we both can communicate with each other trough a microphone and headphones.

Evertime I had a question for the Dj or the DJ had to say something to me he clicked on a button or I did, then we can hear each other trough the headphones. I like radio work but this all is in my eyes just a bit to much, this afternoon we had a live football mach too in our program, we had a reporter reporting live at the match. When it was time to go live with the reporter's report, I had to call him and ask him to get ready, eek! So, when the reporter came in live I had to get the right button open, otherwise the listeners can't hear him. When he was done with the first report I had to get a song ready, after the song it was time for the reporter's report again. And so on and on. Paying attention is a must, it's a live program. Like I said, I like radio work but, ugh. It's aswell not really what I had in mind while searching for vollunteers work.

I would like to have more people around me, working with a group of people. helping people. For example, a vollunteers job whit lots of people, where I'm surrounded by people, like when I walk in, I can say "Hi." or start a conversation or have a laugh with or work with. I do that at the radio aswell but not that much, cause I'm in a studio for six hours communicating trough glass, lol. That sounds a bit overreacting, ofcource when there's a long song on the radio I can walk to the DJ or program maker to have a quick talk, but... I don't know. I have been twice at the radio now and everytime while I was working I thought, "This is the last time."  But still I have doubts, lol. It's a great oppurtunity to grow further with radio work aswell, but still. The nerve wracking during the six hours plus the feeling of being locked up in a studio makes me think twice. 

Now this post sounds like I dislike the radio work, but it ain't that bad though. I didn't even want to write a long about this, lol. I just don't have a good feeling about this job while I'm there, like,something isn't feeling good or fine while I'm there, it's stressy and not that relaxing. The funny thing is, when I get home I'm thinking, "It ain't that bad." But I will keep on going to the radio, untill I find something new, something much more relaxter, with more people. The first week of Frebruary, on a Friday I have a appointment at the vollunteers vacancy, I look forward to that appointment.

There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort.

There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort.

I stayed home today cause the weather was horrible, I could have gone out to the nearest supermarket, but I didn't. The supermarket was walking distance, but everytime I wanted to go a raincloud apeared, then I thought, "Nevermind." It's comfy at home, the heater is on.  Though it's comfy and warm, sometimes having people around me can be nice too. Specially in the weekends, but a day just on my own can be nice aswell. Make up your mind Sjon! Alright, Just being on myself is fun and feels comfy but, I have aswell the feeling that I want more people around me. During the week I'm fine, but the weekends.... Yeah I have to get started with something for in the weekends. But your already busy with the local radio? Hmm, yes, but that's only once in two weeks. While working at the radio I'm kinda locked in a studio for six hours, with only a dj and another technician. I like the radio, and I like the things I have to do there, that's not it. But, I would like to have more people around me in the weekends, or just more to do. 

I'm thinking of becomming a member of a sportclub or a team or whatever, just join something, where I HAVE to go to, let's say on a Friday eve' or a Saturday afternoon for example. In the first week of Frebruary I have a appointment at a vollunteers vacancy, let's see what they have to offer. I know what I want, and I'm looking forward to the appointment. Tomorrow will be the second radio day, (eek!) so today I rested a bit and I looked for some items for tomorrow's radio program. For example the latest news or the newest activities for the upcomming week. It's nice work to do, if I find something I can mail it to the studio. There will be another crew tomorrow though, but that's not a problem. The guy who putted me last weekend right behind the buttons and the microphone won't be there, bit of a relief, lol. Naah, he's a nice guy and I learned alot from him while he did. I hope I will do better tomorrow, and I hope I can grow in this radio job. 

I have been looking for a new dentist aswell today, I'm a bit (read: alot) fed up with my old dentist. He's to far away from me and I think he messes with my teeth, my teeth are becomming worser and I have the feeling my old dentist doesn't do his job well. He's been working on a filling the last two months but still I feel a pain when I use cold or to hot water on that filling. The dentist told me, "I will try another filling, but if that doesn't work you will have to get a crown." Well, this 'new' filling is rubbish, and it hurts. Do I need a crown now or can a new dentist do a better job with the fillings. 8 Frebruary is the next appointment, I need 3 new fillings, I hope my dentist does his job well this time. 

I searched online for a dentist in my own city, and there are many of them. I contacted one dentist with a e-mail, I wrote that I'm still in a treatment with my old dentist, but that I'm available after the treatment. Hopefully I will get a answer back soon. Dentist treatments are expensive, I'm sure a crown will cost me big time. But yeah if it's needed then it's needed. I would like to keep my own teeth as long as possible, lol, I saw and heard about getting fake teeth, but, 'ouch,' and 'oh that feels akward.' A few friends of mine were getting fake teeth the last year, and it's sure not a pleasant treatment. Ouch, I need to stop writting about this subject. Ah, the water is boiling for my coffee... See ya!! 

I love Facebook, but only on days ending in the letter Y.

I love Facebook, but only on days ending in the letter Y.

Just a day like every Friday, groceries and laundry. The weatherforecast forspelled horrible weather, rain, hail, thunder and hard wind, but instead of that the sun shinned fully none stop. Only when I got back from doing the groceries the rain started to fall, but only for five minutes. Yeah, and further, further not that much, I cleaned all the floors but not the kitchen, that can wait till tomorrow. That was it actually for this Friday, tomorrow will be the same, perhaps a bit groceries more and if the weather is good I will visit the market. I want to take it easy with the money for a few weeks, the record and CD fair is in two weeks in the Amsterdam Rai. I would like to go there, no matter what. Just a nice day out and enjoy myself.Sunday exciting day, cause it will be the second 'radio' day. A yay and a eek!

Something different now, FACEBOOK, sometimes I ask myself, "Am I not  to much on Facebook. Facebook sure can be addicting, but am I addicted? I can let it go if I have something else to do, and that 'something' can be anything. While I was in London for five days, I didn't spend time on a computer nor Facebook. But when I turn on the computer Facebook is the first site I turn on, I look trough it and when that's done I go to my other favorite sites. But I don't sign of or turn of Facebook, I keep that site always open. Why? just... to check so now and then. 

I don't think I'm addicted, I do not wake up in the middle of the night to check my Facebook, or I don't rush like a maniac towards home when I'm out to check my Facebook. Facebook can be addicting, Facebook is for fun and to connect with friends all over the world. It can be friends who you met, or who you go to school with or have been to school with, or who you have met trough other friends, or who you work with, or who you have worked with, ect, ect, the list is endless. Have fun is really the keyword for Facebook, have fun with your listed friends, share things with them or join a game together, nothing important. Just have fun and keep it nice. Now I red this somwhere on a site...

Reasons to Love and Hate Facebook.

  
It's funny: I have some strange friends. These strange friends often find strange things on the internet, then post them on Facebook. It is usually a comment, video or news article. Now, thanks to my friends on Facebook who share stuff that makes them laugh, I get a good laugh too.
 

It keeps us connected: Facebook has allowed for us to stay in touch with one another on a larger and more convenient scale than ever before. Orphans have sought out their biological parents, highschool flames have reunited, one-night stands from that bachelor party in Las Vegas have come back with a baby in their arms. But best of all, you can easily stay in touch with good friends from your past.

It gives a false sense of community: "The lack of social contact, the lack of sense of community, may be the most pressing social problem of the new millennium" says Robin Dunbar, professor of psychology from the University of Liverpool states. And it's true, the world would be a better place with a strong global sense of community. While this was one of Mr. Zuckerberg's initial intentions with Facebook, it has backfired. Yes Facebook does help to create bonds between people worldwide, but it is still a much weaker, superficial bond than good-ol face-to-face communication.

I agree on the above, BUT, those good-ol-face-to-fasce communication, yeah, those, I have enough in my eyes. Like I said, Facebook is for fun and enjoy, nothing important, don't make it a habbit or get carried away. I think if you have beside Facebook a life aswell, then your good. That sounded a bit harsh I think... In the past I got sometimes  carried away with Facebook, then I forget about having fun and enjoying myself. Carried away, like, my friends are not commenting on my status... (Oh, please) Or if friends talk to you first, and then there all quiet... (Oh, please) I know it's silly, right?I got carried away...


Waste of time?: "Holy crap, I just spent an hour on Facebook." I don't know how, but Mark Zuckerberg has discovered a time warp. Facebook has the ability to suck hours out of our potentially productive day, without our realizing it. I believe our time indoors and online should be limited, and our time outside and free from our devices, increased.

In sure keep an eye on the clock while I'm on Facebook, or the internet. I won't spent days or a whole morning or a whole afternoon on my laptop. I do other things aswell, lol, I have too. I have to keep my house in order and clean it so now and then, groceries have to be done, laundry has to be washed and I have work and appointments aswell. In the evening I usually spent my time on the laptop, before I didn't even own a computer I spent the evening watching TV. I like watching TV  or go on the laptop in the evening, that is just a 'me' time.

Unknown friend requests: I don't understand this. No random person on the street has ever approached me and asked me to be their friend. Why then, does this happen all the time on Facebook? If I'm not friends with you in real life, I'm not going to be friends with you on the internet.

Hmm, but Facebook is Facebook and not the street, right? Facebook is Facebook, it's a site to have fun and to enjoy, that's it. Though it happens that you have a friend who becomes closer to you, or how do you say that. A closer friend who perhaps or might want to meet you in real life, that is fun too, I too have met several friends on Facebook. It sure is fun when you have connect with your friends for months or perhaps years and then you decide to meet each other, I can't describe how that feels. It's exciting and fun when you see each other for the first time.

Why do I write a post mostly about Facebook? Sometimes I wonder if I'm addicted to Facebook, well, while writing this post I noticed that I'm not. I love facebook, and when I have time for it I will be on it. For having fun and enjoy myself, and not being carried away by it.

Coffee on the table, laptop on my lap and a couch to sit on, let the weekend begin!

Coffee on the table, laptop on my lap and a couch to I sit on, let the weekend begin!

Another exhausting day has ended, knowing that I had tomorrow off I gave a 100% at work today. I felt exhausted and tired afterwards but that gave a good feeling. We all managed to make 300 mats today, and I was involved. That gives a good feeling too, knowing that your a part of it, a part of the fellow workers, part of the team. I would love it that I could manage to get a week full while working, but I can't. The fellow workers respect and understand that I can only manage three days, still it grabs me sometimes, thinking of what the fellow workers 'really' might think. I should get that out of my head for good.

This morning before I went to work I heard the wind howling trough and against the windows, but I didn't hear rain. When it was time to go I looked out of the windows and the rain came with buckets down, wow, it really rained hard. I should have brought my umbrella, but I thougt the hard wind would break it. I putted on my raincoat over my winterjacket and rain pants over my working trousers, glasses of and there I went. I got soked, but the raincoat and rainpants held my other clothing dry. But oh how I wished for just some winter weather, like frost or just snow. Or just skip all this rain and storm and move over to Spring.

I don't have anything planned the following three days, only Sunday I will be working at the local radio in the city, I'm kinda looking forward to it. Still I sence a bit of nerves, but that's okay, I can handle them. I might go to my Dad's, but I'm not sure yet. It's always such a journey going  to my Dad's, I don't know. It's alot easier when the weather is better too, I will just see what I will do. Perhaps buying a second bike might be a good idea, I will place that bike at the train station where my Dad lives. I will hop on the train here where I live, then when It's time to get out of he train I will jump on my (second) bike and ride to my Dad. Good idea actually. A good idea to think about. 

Further I would like to relax, and get some rest. Laptop, napping, cooking, going trough some flyers or mail, there's enough to do. Taking it easy is a must, in the weektime it's always a rush from here to there. I like and love it though, but my body likes and loves it too to just relax and just do nothing. It's all going to be good, I will enjoy every little thing I do.

Finally a bed!

Finally a bed!

Another day has ended and I still feel a bit the anesthesia in my mouth from this morning, yep I went to the dentist. First thing he always askes me before he starts to drill, "Do you need anesthesia?" I always say no, cause mostly I will be fine. Though I always keep asking myself, "Why is he asking me this all the time, is he gonna hurt me today a bit more then usual?" Then I think to myself that it's just a routine question, he always asks.... but still. When the dentist started with the  drilling it really hurted! Damn! The dentist warned me to be carefull with my tongue, cause it's dangerous while he's drilling. I do it automaticly, when I feel a 'ouch' while the dentist drills my tongue starts to move, like the tongue wants to ease the pain. The dentist asked again for anesthesia, I gave in and answered, "Yes." The anesthesia needle didn't hurt but, geesh why so many? 

He gave me  me five times the anesthesia needle. After that he started drilling again, and he was done in ten seconds, sigh, five needdles for atleast fifteen seconds of drilling? I could have said, no, but I didn't know before how long the drilling would last, and it really hurted! The dentist only did one filling today, he said, "Next time we do the other three fillings." Ouch! I left and the anesthesia lasted and lasted, I so dislike that feeling of anesthesia in my mouth, it's such an akward feeling. I was atleast glad I could talk properly while I did some shopping. "Two hours the anesthesia will last." said the dentist, will see. I bought some tools aswell to get my new bed together, when I got back I ated my lunch and took a nap. My nap did me good and my mouth felt a bit better, still while I was drinking my tea my mouth gets in a weird shape, should I be worried? Hahaha, I always worry about tiny little things, it's a kind of habbit. I hoped the anesthesia will end soon totally. 

New bed and new bottom.

The new bed.
  
Getting the new bed  together was done in a no time, in a small fifteen minutes I was done. The matress fitted perfectly, I was a bit worried it wouldn't fit, bit it did. No I only need to find the perfect spot for the bed, the headboard against the wall? Or the left or right side against the wall?  If I put the headboard against the wall then my room looks almost full, but when I put the sides against the wall I surely have more space. I just will see, for now I have the sides against the wall. It looks nice, and I'm very happy with the bed. Let's see how the bed lays tonight. I'm sure it's a solid bed. Funny that my complete bed is from Ikea now, the bed, matress, sheeds, blankets plus pillows and pillowchases.

Goodnight ya'll!

Exhausted after two days of work...

Exhausted after two days of work...

Feeling not so well while I'm writing this post, I just had dinner, I warmed up some pasta from last Sunday eve,' like I always do. When I got back from work I washed up, took my working clothes of and relaxed for a little while on the laptop. Then I got tired and decide to have a little short nap, and 'beng,' gone I wash, asleep! Totally gone. I even wondered where I was and what time it was when I woke up, I felt I slept for an hour. Maybe I worked and rushed a bit to much the last two days, yesterday was hectic for sure, but I felt good. Today I felt good aswell, it was again busy at work but not with so so exhausting work like yesterday.

But then again, if I add the hectic day from yesterday on this day yeah, perhaps it was all a bit to much then. I will live it though, lol, just need my rest, that's all. Work was good again, the conversations with the fellow workers become more and more. Just the way I am, lol, I'm not a talker and not a communicater, I always look first how the situation is, then I start slowly. But I must say that I talk and communicate alot more then I use to do, Blame my time in Canada, or perhaps lat year with Humanitas? In both situations I had always people around me, if I liked it or not. I'm happy with it, you wont hear me complain.

I felt so sleepy after work!

I notice That I changed in many ways in the last thirteen months, in a positive way though. Here and there I spot the 'not changed' ways or manors or how you call it, and that's okay too. I like the way I am now, it can only get better, lol. What a cold day it was this Tuesday, frost on the ground and a clear blue sky. Though it will only be for a short time, were expecting rain tomorrow. Sigh, I like the frost, it gives that perfect winter touch, I love it. It's way better then rain or storm, that kinda weather you can keep for Autumn. Tomorrow I will have the second appointment with the dentist, weird enough I'm not that nervous like last week, I'm fine with everything he will do. 

How is the bed? It's still there, but still not in one piece though. I think after the dentist I will have lunch then a nap and then fixing the bed, that means I will (hopefully) sleep in my (new) bed tomorrow eve.' Must feel a bit akward to be honest, lol. I slept for such a long time on the floor with only just a matress, but I'm so excited to have a bed again, Yay! Only gotta figure out how or where to place the bed, sideways? with the left or right side against the wall or the headboard  against the wall? I will see, in eitherway it will look great. Cause it's a nice bed.

Long day...

Long day...

I got up early today, a bit earlier then usual. When I have a working day I get up around 4:30 am, I know it's to early, lol. It's two and a half hour before I have to leave, I leave at 7:00 cause work starts at 7:30. I like waking up early, waking up slowly is a must. Drinking my tea and opening up my laptop, watching the latest news and headlines on Facebook and on news sites. I had to go to the bankmachine before work, that's why I got up a bit earlier, the (new) bed will be delivered this evening after 7:30 pm. Why going to the bank so early? So I don't have to be worried about not having the money yet, and second, I don't have much time after work cause of the free dinner. Plus I dislike rushing myself.

I could have gone to the bank yesterday, but yesterday was my 'resting and stay inside' day, lol. The seller even called back yesterday after I called him, asking me if he could bring it right away if I wanted it. But I said no, I didn't had money on me and going to the bankmachine wasn't in my schedule yesterday, lol. Stubborn? Naah, just making it easier, the seller was fine with it too. It was cold when I went outside, minus 6 said the weatherforecast. I took the money out of the machine and headed to work, yep, it was still cold but this coldness is so much better then hard wind or rain. 


Work was busy, we still are in a rush with the new order what came in last week, so many mats to make, we have to produce more then thousand mats in four weeks. I did the same work like last week, I had muscle pain in the first five hours, no wonder when I make the same movements over and over again. But I like this kinda work, no asking around what to do, just do my job on and on. We all worked hard on the mats, everyone did something to get the mats done, lovin' it! But it's aswell exhausting work, I almost fell asleep while having lunch, lol. Sometimes I haved that too when I eat alot, my body has to work hard then to let my food sink. 


When I got back from work I finnaly could relax for thirty minutes, after the thirty minutes I took of the the free dinner. Tonight we had one the menu, potatoes, a meat ball plus chicory added with cheese and ham, yum, now how's that for a wintermeal? After the dinner I had to rush home cause the bed will be delivered, the bed came late but, wow! What a nice bed, and what a nice people who sold the bed. The bed was from the Daughter, she didn't like the color, it didn't match with her room. So the Father putted it on a selling-site, and now it's mine. The bed looks solid and big, and new! The bed came from Ikea, perfect! The bed was complete with screws and yeah, everything. Headbord, bottom it was all there. 


It's beensuch  a long, full, busy day, tomorrow I will be busy aswell with work. I think Wednesday is a perfect day to start with getting the bed together and place it, yeah, I have a good feeling about the bed, I'm happy with the new bed! Finally a bed, I'm so excited, bye cold floor! I will take a few pictures of it when it's placed.

Aaaah, Sunday's rest!

Aaaah, Sunday's rest! 

My first well deserved resting day in the three days off, yesterday was a radio day, last Friday was a groceries and householdings day, and today, rest! I cleaned the shower though after I bathed, lol. And I cursed a few times, it seems that my hands  sometimes like to drop a few things, or my body like's it when I bump into things. Today I bumped my hip, my elbow and my head in the shower. Sigh, lol!   The shower is okay, lol. There are actually a few things I always do on Sunday's, like getting things ready for tomorrow's work, like, ironing my work clothing, sworking hoes ready and making my lunch ready, four sandwiches, one piece of fruit, juice and a cracker. Yeah, I take good care of myself. And there's the usual pasta dinner on Sundays. I cook and bake two meals then, one for the Sunday and one for Tuesday eve.' I don't feel like cooking when I  get back from work right away. (Monday eve' is easy cause there's the free dinner)

While I'm writing this post I'm actually listening to the live stream from the local radio in Almelo, yep, the radio station where I was yesterday. Listening to it makes me wanna go there again but, naaah, it's been good and long enough yesterday. Next weekend there's another weekend. I feel this is gonna be a exciting year, I'm planning to travel again, perhaps twice or maybe three times this year, it all depends on my working schedule. I really wish to fly again, or doing something totally different, I'm ready for it, like living my life like there's no tomorrow. This month on the 28th there's a record and CD fair at the Amsterdam Rai. I'm already excited to go there, filling up my CD collection or just to enjoy myself by being there. Visiting record fairs, gosh, that's been a while, it's so much fun. It's fun to look around and perhaps buy a CD for cheap, there are so many though.

These events are the place to be for all music lovers and the Amsterdam Rai will be packed with special exhibitions, signing sessions, special collections, book presentations, a popquiz and several live shows. On March the 14th and the 15th there's even a bigger record and CD fair, this event will be held in Utrecht at the Jaarbeurs Convention Centre. Yay, For a few cents or coins you can buy CD's and records there, and much, much more. Going to a normal record CD store like for example HMV, you will have to pay the full amount for a CD or any other item, on these fairs there so much cheaper. I lost all my CD'S, records, and equipment in Canada, now I will slowly and bit by bit fill up my music collection again, I don't need the huge sound equipment I had, just a radio/cd player plus a few speakers and I'm fine. I actually miss the music around me, that problem will be fixed in the following months. 

The weather is gorgeous today, I'm laying half on the (red) couch and the sun is burning on my feet and socks, it's warm inside. It's cold though outside, were getting frost these comming days. Today I confirmed aswell with  a bed seller, I waited and waited for his mail when he will come to bring the bed, I gave him ten Euro extra for the delivering. In the mail back he wanted that I call him, cause he had troubles before with selling sites. I understood that and I called, he wanted to hear my voice, just to be sure it was all serious. So yeah, tomorrow eve' after 7:30 pm the seller will bring the bed, yay! It's a cheap bed but that's okay, I have the matress and the blankets. That are the  most important items, right? And 25 Euro for a bed, I mean 35 Euro isn't that bad.

Today is/was a radio day...

Today is/was a radio day...

Were going live in 3... 2... 1... Go! Sound! Sound!! It looked it was going to be a long sit but the six hours went quit fast, I was nervous during these six hours, lol. No wonder cause the main techician putted me behind the mixer. I had to take care of two computer screens, one mixer, one phone, and I had to keep an eye on the discjokckey, and aswell communicate with him. I thought the main technician would do all this today and I had to help him here and there, I still needed to learn things. But, the technician putted me on his thrown, eek? Yeah. eek!! Having a huge microphone infront of me and the huge mixer with all the buttons and little lamps wasn't helping me much. 

There were a few mistakes from my side but that's pretty normal for a first timer like me, further I must say for a first timer it went pretty good. The program we made has alot of latest news, reports and live intervieuws, this program isn't just a radioprogram with loads of music. Like playing a record, telling a little story and then a record again. That's much easier, but on this program everything has to be ready and set to start, that's where the technician is for. Mostly the technicians and dj's have a script here, that's always handy. The few mistakes I made were not that a problem, but I surely disliked it. 

Here I sat for six hours, nerve wrecking but in the end it was surely worth it. I surely didn't do bad for a first timer.

The start tune was finnished then I had to open the michrophone from the discjokey so he could start with a few messages, but I forgot. Another thing was that I started a record after the discjocky gave a sign but there was no sound, wich I forgot aswell. I had to pay attention on so many things, there are so many handelings I had to do. That button has to be pushed, in the same time I will have to pay attention on the computer screen and wait for a sign from the discjockey, I really had to think ahead. I asked after every intervieuw or song what comes next, lol, I wanted to be sure that I wouldn't make the same mistakes again. In these six hour of radio I mostly thought, "No, this is not my thing, I will finnish this afternoon, then I'll stop." 


I didn't feel for sitting with nerves, worries or stress for so many hours, just to get a nice perect program. It's a vollunteer's job, it's suposse to be fun without being worried or having stress, lol. But then again, I didn't do bad, maybe it will go better and I will get the hang of it when I do it more often. I don't know, I didn't mention anything about quiting it. I said to them after our show that we will mail each other, I'm sure they will mail me in the comming days for a next show the next week. I'm still going for it, and will see how it goes. I did a little bit of radio work before, and I was a so called hobby discjockey before. But this is so much different on so many levels. 

On this picture you see a house discjockey, he playes dance record after dance record, beat after beat. The crowd loves it!

As a hobby discjockey I played dance record after dance record, there was no talking between the records, just a long mix of dance records. The other radio work I did was aswell a local radio station, but then in Nijverdal, my old hometown. There I didn't do the technic and I didn't play records, I organized and labeled new songs what came in. I always was a fan of music or doing something in the music, I learned alot of timing in the music, I know how to get a radio program full, or make a script for the program. You have to make a nice filling program for the listener, so that the listener is thinking, 'Nice, I'm going to sit for this.' Anyway, while I'm writing about music and radio I actually wanna go back, back to where I was this afternoon.  


Yeah, I have a good feeling about this, although the nerves and a little bit of stress while doing the job are there too (still).

I miss work on my day off.... LOL!

I miss work on my day off.... LOL!

I must be silly, lol, I miss work when I'm having a day off. Work was pretty busy and rough yesterday, but although that I enjoyed myself aswell. Thinking of five months ago when I just started there, thinking of if I wouldn't even fit in this job, having doubts if I even could manage, but look at me now. I so want this job, I should actually start praying that they will hire me on the 1st of February. On February 1 there will have a talk with my Boss and my Reha counselor, we willtalk about a hiring contract, it will be a yes or a no. I fit in this job, I',m surrounded by nice fellow workers, the work is fun, and if they hire me... they hire me for three days in the week, that's my limit, that's all I can manage. It's all perfect!

Though I heard that hire contracts are not that great where I work, let's say if I get a hire contract for a half year or a year, what will happen after that half year or year? They have the oppertunities then to say goodbye to me, I already seen it happen. A fellow worker has to say goodbye aswell cause his hire contract was over. He worked there for one and a half year, I guess that that are the risks of having a hire contract. Anyway, I'm looking way to much ahead. Like I said I had a day off, like I always do on a Friday. What do I do on a day off, mostly I rest and do groceries, and perhaps some laundry. Now I just summed up what I did today, lol. I took a long nap cause it was needed, I did the first load of laundry, it's hanging to dry now, I need to wait till it's dry to wash and hang the the next load. 

I did my groceries already for the weekend and the comming week, I figured that tomorrow I won't have that much time cause of the long radio visit. So I can take it easy aswell before that, sometimes thinking ahead is good. A few hours ago I visited Ricardo's Mom Catherina, I never been to her house, so this was my first time. The house was easy to find, the visit was okay. Catherina had her Son Dylano with her, Dylano was all over me, I loved it although he was here and there a bit naughty, oh well, kids! It was nice having a little kid around me again, it surely made me think of my time in Canada, it was so easy to entertain Dylano and to pleae him. Good feeling!  Catherina and I talked about everything, aswell about Ricardo, poor Ricardo. He's now living in a institution, I think it's called a therapeutic boarding school. Ricardo's Dad, (Johannus) has moved again, and is again with another woman. 

Johannus's behaviour is the reason that Ricardo has been sent away. Ricardo's Mom wasn't able either to parent him in the eyes of child custody, hmmm. Ricardo has ADHD, and has a little disturbing in his brain. It was sure alot what he all went trough the last two years, and that doesn't make him feel better, living in a shelter in a tiny room with Mom and Dad, Mom and Dad seperated, living whit his Dad, Dad is dating several other woman, Ricardo gets placed here and there, and back and forth, ect, ect. This is for sure not good for an 8 year old kid with ADHD, and I think not even for a normal healty 8 year old kid. Poor Ricardo, I miss him, and I truly wish that he will get healty and gets the help he needs. I'm a 100% sure I will see him again.