SAILING- CHRISTOPHER CROSS 31 YEARS LATER

A well deserved day off!

A well deserved day off! 

Oh yeah! It's been two good but busy days at work, but I managed. Now I'm sore and tired out, lol. I couldn't make another day, that's okay cause I don't have too. I'm actually working over my energy limit, according the thyroid results from my Doctor in 2003. Way back I know, but back in 2003 the Doctor and the hospital tested me and they both came with the results that I can't full fill whole days at work. I can only work 20 hours in the week. That will be two whole days and one half day. I'm now trying to work three whole days, that's 24 hours a week, four hours more. 

I will be fine, I'm sure. I found out that I can do so much more then I thought I could, When I didn't had work and sat at home being sick, I only could think of getting rest and not allow myself to get tired, be very carefull with your energy! I was overreacting, and I became more and more tired. Later on when I really had to do something, (think of Candada and the time after Canada) I could! And now I'm working, almost can't believe it, lol. Ofcource I'm tired while working and I have sore muscles, but the tiredness feels a bit different. I'm used to the tired feeling now, I know what I can do and what I'm acapable off. I know when I have to take a step back and when I have to take rest. It's okay to get over my limits, but I'm aware that I will take it easy aswell.

Lately I'm thinking of dating again, but I'm not taking it that serious. I'm still thinking that the best way to find someone is to be going out, explore, enjoy yourself. I wont be searching for someone, ermm, well, maybe a bit then. But I wont be finding the searching that important, most important for me is to enjoy myself and be happy. Maybe then before I know someone will cross my path, who knows. Maybe I'm not even ready for dating, maybe still afraid to mess up and have that pain again, suffering, grieving. That's why I throw the searching for a date on a lower pit. Ofcource it can happen that someone will cross my path, and then?  Then we will just see how it goes. I know I changed and I know I learned alot, I will be sure fine and okay. I will be ready then.

Misserable start with a happy ending!

Misserable start with a happy ending! 

I had a misserable start this mornming.  My weekend wasn't so good, I felt so now and then lonely, and I guess this morning the lonely feeling went only worser when I thought about it more and more, for a moment I felt like going to the bathroom at work and cry it all out. But I didn't go. Just one of the days I guess. I can say now that work is so important for me, while working I'm busy. Busy with doing things and I'm mostly distracted from the lonely feelings. It took a while though that I felt a bit better, but the better feeling came and that's important. I had aswell a few little nerves about the upcomming visit to the 'Social Housing,' I wanted to go this comming Wednesday. Because I still need to know if I have to ask for gas and elektra for my house or not. I have been twice to there office and twice they told me, "You don't need to ask for gas and elektra, we take care of that." I didn't have to do anything!

That was in September and Oktober, and now there are doubts, cause a resident from Humanitas came living in the same building as I live, and he had to ask for gas and elektra. So Humanitas informed 'Social Housing for me aswell. And now there saying I have to ask for it, (Huh?) I was confussed and sent them an Email, (expecting that they would never answer, but who knows) and planned to visit them Wednesday-morning. I even chancelled a dentist appointment for them, lol. I was devestated! And nervous, and I had thoughts. But this afternoon after my work I saw a email from 'Social Housing,' they told me, "I don't have to ask for gas only for elektra." Sigh, so it's a yes! Social Housing even gave me the first meter stands when I came living here. Handy for signing with a new elektra company. 

Asking for Elektra was easy, I knew the elektra company's name, (Elecktrabel) and I could ask and sign with them online. It was done in five minutes, I will get a extra e-mail from Elektrabel for the confirming and then it's all clear. Pfffeewww, relief! I can tell you that. My first whole day at work on Monday, usually I worked a half day on Monday. I will be working three whole days now this comming week, let's see how that goes. Today went good, ofcource I was exhausted, Mondays, lol. But work went well, it felt good. I worked from 7:30 am till 4:30 pm, after work I came home and had a fiveteen minute rest and then took of to the free dinner, cause that started at 6:00. Yeah, full day. I actually didn't feel like going cause I was tired and had sore muscles, but I'm glad I went. Dinner was nice and I felt better after it.

I love happy endings! 

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Today I planned to do my 'administration,' it needed to be done. Just to get everything in order and to get some rest in my head. I knew everything was settled and goes well but in my head the it felt like a mess. I went trough alot of things, and I'm half way. It surely gives rest, there was one thing what bothered me and that has to be settled. I still have a few questions for the company where I rent my house from, Oh dear my English. I so can't find the right English word for 'that' kinda company, hold on! LOL!

I rent a house from 'Public Housing,'  Public Housing is a Public housing is a form of  Housing tenure in which the property is owned by a government authority, which may be central or local. Social housing is an Umbrella term referring to rental housing which may be owned and managed by the state, by non-profit organizations, or by a combination of the two, usually with the aim of providing afforable housing. The Dutch housing policy is based on a concept of universal access to affordable housing for all and the prevention of segregation. Aswell the rent for the cheaper rental homes In Holland is kept low through governmental oversight and regulation. These types of homes are known as sociale huurwoningen. Thank you Wikipedia!

So, I went trough my renting papers this morning and I bounced a few times on several questions. A few days ago I had a call from Humanitas, they asked me that I really need to inform for a gas & electric-company, cause it's needed. I answered them that I already have gas, elektra and water, Social housing said it wasn't needed, cause everything is shared in my flat, or how you call it. Everyone gets water, everyone has electricity and gas. But, the major tap or major boiler room, or how you call such, is in one central place, owned by the Social housing. It's all part of the services, where I have to pay for aswell. (Oh my english, lol)

Several months ago I was struggling with this subject too, do I need to get in touch with a gas & electric-company plus a water-company yes or no? It was so confussing, 'Social housing said no when I visited them. The gas, electric plus the water is all aranged by the Social housing. My counselor from Humanitas kept finding it weird. To ask for gas and electric I will have to write down the meters from the smart meter. The smart meter is mostly in the boiler room, in my house the boiler room is a boiler closet, lol. It's small but you can see right away what you need or what you want. 

BUT my boiler-closet didn't have a smart meter, so, I can't inform the gas & elektra-company about my meter levels. Without the meter levels they can't do anything. Include that the 'Social housing' said I don't need to ask for gas and Elektra, I just letted it be. Ofcource... I went there twice to ask for it, and twice I get the same answer, I don't need it. So, a few days ago Humanitas called, and said that it was needed, cause another resident from Humanitas recently is living in the same flat as I live. And he had to ask for gas, elektra and water aswell. Sigh! So confussing! Strange though, cause on one of the papers where I went trough was written that I had to ask for gas, electra and water. It was important to do that two weeks before I get the keys for my new house, otherwise I would have no gas, elektra and water. 

Well, I have water, and I have gas and elektra, lol And I never asked for it. You still there? LOL! I will go this comming Wednesday to the Social housing to ask what is needed and what is not needed, I hope I will get some good and final answers. I hope I'm not to late if they will inform me that I need to ask for gas, water and elektra. It's such a maze. And I hope my English explaining was well, lol. Thank you Wikipedia and thank you Google translate!  This Sunday was sure okay, I went half trough my administration, (yay!) Had a marvelous shower, (scrub, scrub! and relaxed most of the day..... Yes, in comfy pants! Tomorrow will be my first Monday that I work a whole day, it will be a busy day. Working from 7:30 am till 4:30 pm, then at 6:00 pm the free dinner.

Black Friday and a sunny Saturday.

Black Friday and a sunny Saturday. 

Black Friday, I guess I will never understand why so many people want to be in a store with so many other customers. I saw a few video's today of the Black Friday shopping, it's crazy and at the same time akward and fun to watch. Black Friday is a tradition, like we have traditions aswell here in Holland. Sometimes I wonder how on earth you can shop with so many people gathered around, grabbing and pulling. I wonder aswell what do you grab first or where do you go first when your the first one in the store, do you run to the first sale? Or do you already have a plan where to run to or what to grab first? Just wondering. I'm sure that Black Friday is nothing for me, I like to shop quitly when I'm planning to buy something. It's okay when it's busy but rather not, for example when it's crowded in a store I'm fine when I'm just looking around, I love it, looking at people while your shopping.

Although Black Friday is nothing for me, I would love to experience it once. Just to see how or what it is, I wont be shopping though, lol. Just observing the madness going around. And for sure I wont stand first in line, I might get run over. Ì didn't get run over this afternoon, I went for a little while to a garden-centre. They had a Christmas sale with loads of decorations, it was fun to just look at it. The garden-centre is nearly in my back yard, lol. Lots of kids were there too, cause Sinterklaas is in town. Sinterklaas is a good friend of Santa Claus, they have alot in commen. Kids love them both and they both give presents once a year. Sinterklaas only comes to Holland and Belgium, He is also well known in territories of the former Dutch empire  including South Africa, Aruba, Suriname, Curaso,Bonaire, and Indonesia. Sinterklaas comes from Spain with his ship and with his helpers every once a year. (November/December) 

The one and only 'Sinterklaas.'

Sinterklaas traditionally arrives in the Netherlands each year in mid-November (usually on a Saturday) by steamboat from Spain. He is an elderly, stately and serious man with white hair and a long, full beard. He wears a long red cape over a traditional white bishop's alb and sometimes red stola, dons a red mitre and holds a gold-coloured crosier, a long ceremonial shepherd's staff with a fancy curled top. He carries a big book that tells whether each individual child has been good or naughty in the past year. He traditionally rides a whitegray horse. Sinterklaas has several servants too, these servants are callled 'zwarte pieten. I was so scared of them when I was a kid. With there black face and black curly hair, dressed up like a 17-th centurypage in a colourful dress, often with a lace collar, and donning a feathered cap.

Sinterklaas and his servants usually carry a bag which contains candy for nice children and a roe, a chimney sweep's broom made of willow branches, used to spank naughty children. no wonder I was scared of them, lol Some of the older Sinterklaas songs make mention of naughty children being put in the bag and being taken back to Spain. Aaarghh! The zwarte pieten toss candy around, and have become modern servants, who have black faces because they climb down chimneys to deliver the gifts and presents to the kids. Just like Santa Claus, but he isn't black from going down the chimney, hmm! Traditionally, in the weeks between his arrival and 5 December, before going to bed, children put their shoes next to the fireplace chimney. They leave the shoe with a carrot or some hay in it and a bowl of water nearby "for Sinterklaas' horse", and the children sing a Sinterklaas song. The next day they will find some candy or a small present in their shoes.

Zwarte pieten!

So far Sinterklaas and his Zwarte Pieten, otherwise I will get scared again. The Saturday was sunny and not even cold, we call this weather in Holland a 'kwakkel' winter. In English 'Make up your mind Winter!' LOL, I bought a few good sales today, 4 white t-shirts, each 3 Euro. I have been searching for nice and wearable white t-shirts for a long time, but couldn't find them. Or to expensive, or to big or a horrible collar. Finally I found some, I'm a happy man. Further not that much, I did the last of my grocerie and spinned one last load of laundry. Tomorrow I want to do my book-holdings, or how you call it. Going trough my papers and bills, I want to have it all in order. Sunday is a perfect day for that. Now back to my coffee before it's getting cold, cheers!

Picture time!

Picture time!
Here we go again... 1...2 ....3... Go!

 Ready for work, yes! It was cold that morning! And early, very early...

 Peanut butter jelly time, come on sing with me! Usually I get such sandwisches for lunch but, oh well, I just felt like having some... Cherry jam!

 Done! Enjoy your meal Mr. Sjon!

 8:00 time for a cuppa coffee! This is my favorite cup... Cheers!

 Just back from work, legs up and relax! Never mind the plant, I just gave it water and it was still a bit leaking, lol.

 Above: Me! Left: Koffie/coffee! When that thin is full I'm happy!

Doing my stretching excerzises in the morning, stretch you hands as high as you can... Reach your hands to the sky! I'm such a goose sometimes.

There aren't enough days in the weekend. ~Rod Schmidt

There aren't enough days in the weekend. ~Rod Schmidt

There are really enough days in my weekend, three days is more then enough. I really need to find something for in the weekends. Something to do, a place perhaps where I can go every weekend, where I can grab a coffee for example, or join a group of people. Otherwise I will get stuck in this 'lonely feeling.' I need to get out more, I'm searching but it's difficult to find something. I know there are a few things ahead of me these comming months, like a few courses and ofcource the trip to London. But these courses will be over one day and the trip to London aswell. I would like to find something where I can go to every weekend, like for example I'm going to work in the week, that stands. I would like to find something that stands too in the weekends. I'm sure I will succeed finding something.

Today I did what I normally do on Friday, there were two loads of laundry, I did one load and the other load I will do tomorrow. I did most of the groceries aswell, tomorrow the rest. I took my time while shopping, just looking around. The weather was grey and cold, it even rained for a few hours. I like living in the city, the centre is always busy and you see sometimes the weirdest people, I like to observe them sneaky. Sneaky, cause I don't like to stare at people, I'm sure they don't like that too, lol! While shopping I bumped into an old resident from Humanitas aswell. It was Henki, he was the one who helped me with the laminate. We had a nice talk and after that we continued our duties. I surely need to visit him more often, he's a nice guy. He still lives at Humanitas, and to visit him isn't that easy.  

Proccesing... 

Thoughts.... While I had a nap just before lunch I had some thoughts, I always think before I go to sleep. I think mos people do that, thinking a few thoughts before there sleep. Thinking of the the recent day, what has happened and what you been trough, or what the day will bring tomorrow. Or other thoughts, it can be anything. This afternoon a thought flashed trough my mind, I thought a short while about my last two months in Canada..... Again, I know, I really gotta stop thinking or writing about Canada....

Alright... Thinking up loud... Thinking about those last two months I realized that it was a huge overwhelming time what made me go bezerk. It was already busy in our huge house, we sure loved to have people around us, including me. Although it was sometimes just a bit to much. Then I would go for a walk or go to my 'computer/music' room, just to have a little quiet time, the first one who always knocked on my door then was Tasn, lol, bless her! Sometimes I grabbed the two young ones and go for a walk or a bikeride, that was fun too. I think it was July 2010 that we rented out our basement to a 30's year old Mother and her four year old daughter, on top of that a friend of Cle came living with us aswell. The overwhelming feeling went to much, and 'to' isn't good.

Imagine... A big family, five kids and two adults, a mother and a four year old Daughter,plus a 20 year old girl. We had ten people living in our house, although I loved having people around me most of the time, cause I was kinda getting  used to it having people around me, but this? I guess this was just a bit to much. I longed for the quit times when it was just Saf, me and the kids, just like we first met. Ofcource we 'all' had a jolly good time sometimes with ten people, lol, can you imagine? But just that sometimes, ugh! 24 hours a day all eyes on you, looking what your doing, commenting, although it felt like it. In the end I screwed already up before I made a little mistake, lol. The Mother from the four year old child was the worst, it felt like she wanted to control all of us. She was the cuttest, she was the nicest, she was the best, she was the partiest, she became the importantst person in the house, or did it fell like it?

Anyway... In the end it annoyed me, I should have gone out more, meet perhaps other people or find a job, yes! But I guess it was already to late, I felt already annoyed and wished she just would go. Imagine how it felt.  I wasn't happy with her sometimes. Like I said, the overwhelming feelings got worser and worser, I needed to get out more, but I didn't felt like it anymore. I wish I done it!! Saf and I had sometimes words with each other, last year December we had our last one, Saf and I broke up. I stayed for a month cause I needed to arrange a whole lot of stuff, all that plus the suffering and grieving  from the break up, plus 'the cuttest, nicest, bestest,  partiest, Mother' who lived with us and the rest of our family made it sure not so easy for me.And what do you get then? Mistakes, ignorances, missunderstandings, arguess, feeling left out, ect, ect. 


All that, but okay, those last two months happened and I struggled my way trough it. I must say that I had good times aswell in those months, I really had a nice Christmas, and the New Years eve' was fab! It was good that Saf's brother joined us with Christmas, I had a good support on him. Long walks and laughs did me good. Anyway, enough of Canada now, right? I think the time in Canada will always be a part of my life, and I'm sure within time I can only have good memories of my time there. I already have them, but some memories I would rather forget.P.s. Good days are ahead of me!

Happy with the positive nice comments, not that happy with the 'waiting' again.

Happy with the positive nice comments, not that happy with the 'waiting' again.

I said I was and wil be calm the last few days about what I will get to hear from my Boss, but this morning the nerves started a bit. That's normal though right? I already made plans ahead, lol, if the Boss will not continue with me I will pack my bags, say goodbye to the fellow workers and will be heading home or prolly Reha. But in my mind it just couldn't be like that, for sure they want to continue with me. If they don't want to continue then it must be the lack of work and nothing else more. Cause our work lately is low, we need new customers. I worked steady this morning, and  while I was working I watched with one eye to the clock. At 9:00 my Boss will pick me up for the conversation, my Reha counselor will be there aswell.

It was 9:15 and still no one showed up, I worked even harder, lol, nerves! Finally at 9:30 my Boss showed up and took me to her office, my counselor was there and welcomed me, and we all gathered around the table. The conversation went calm, I was calm aswell. In the beginning I got alot of compliments, what did me good. My boss told me that I fitted right in this job and in the fellow workers group, "You are accepted," said my Boss. I do my work well, I pick up things so easily when an other worker explains you something for example. I'm a fast worker aswell, I was growing fast in this job, so many positive things she told me. I was expecting this aswell, cause the Boss told me these positive things before. But at the way my Boss told me all these positive things I already knew what the following line would be.... 

I was actually waiting for the word, "But..." and that word came. My  Boss continued, "We want you in our team, and were trying anything to keep you here, and we still are trying, cause were happy with you." Then the word came, "But, at the moment there is a lack of work, it's already difficult to put our other workers to work, we can't hire you yet." The word 'yet' sounded good, there is still hope. The Boss hopes that within a month or sooner the 'more work' will come. In the meanwhile I  can stay and in the first week of January my Boss, my counselor and me will gather around again for a conversation. I will hope then that there's alot of work. I will keep my fingers crossed in the following weeks, and perhaps pray some prayers.

Akward?

I didn't really expected 'this' in the morning, I thought it would be a stay or a go actually. I was already thinking in the early morning that 'if' I get to hear from my Boss that I can stay, I will thank God an would be thinking, There sure is someone above that have wanted me to have this job, or if  my Boss would have sent me home, I would have been thinking and tell myself, 'God has other plans with me,' this job is prolly not my thing." Okay, but now? Now I can stay but the question is, 'for how long.' What plans has God for  me?' Why the waiting? Time will tell I guess, akward toughts right? Akward thoughts but aswell positive in my eyes.
My Boss told me aswell, that perhaps some old- fellow workers will be going, and then I will fill in that empty place. But she wasn't sure yet, 

This company had alot of resumes from other 'new' workers aswell I heard from my Boss. But they can wait, she told me, I was on top, I was first in line. Pick a number and stand in line... behind me.  Everything sounds positive and that gives a good feeling, I can say to myself that I'm already with one leg in this job, now I will have to wait for that other leg. I aswell asked after our conversation that if I could take two days off in the first week of January, cause of my trip to London. That was no problem, said the Boss. I will take the Monday and the Tuesday off, and will start again on Thursday and Friday. The days off are a bit of a relief, Next week I will start with my first of three whole days of working, I'm positive about it, I can do it. All is good, I will keep up the good work.

"Banana's are good, they keep you healty and fresh."

"Banana's are good, they keep you healty and fresh."

Sometimes it's hard to come up with a good tittle for my next post, sometimes I use the first thing what comes up in my mind. I was eating a banana and there it go... Hahaha! It's 3:35 pm and I'm still in my pyma pants, just love it. There's actually not many people who could see me, and if they could, lol, who care's. Just enjoyning my day off, I didn't even went outside. It's grey and cold. But within a hour I will have to put some decent clothes on, cause then I will be on my way to the free dinner. Let's see what they have prepaired now, it's always good though. No complaining here.  

There isn't much to do lately, mostly everything is settled financially. A few months ago with my days off I always had to arrange something, or I had to confirm with a insurance, or I had to make copies of this or that, or I had a appointment here or there, ect. There a still a few little things what has to be done but that can wait, there's no rush with those little things. And ofcource there will always be new things, I would like to fix or solve those new things by my myself without any help. I got some help with ussurances or appointments what needed to be done or had to be arranged, mostly I did it myself but with some help. Now I wanted to do it without help. Cause there comes a time I will HAVE to do it on my own.

Well, tomorrow is the day... Tomorrow I prolly will get to hear if I can stay with my Boss or not. Am I nervous? Not really actually, I'm calm and ready for what they will say. Ofcource I wikll jump a hole inn the sky when the Boss will say, "We want to continue with you. But if they will say, "Were sorry, we don't continue with you,"I will be calm aswell, not happy and a bit angry ofcource, but calm aswell. I will just take as it is. I have a good feeling about it though, it's not 50, 50, it's more like 80 procent for a yes, and 20 procent for a no. So yeah, actually it would feel weird when they will say, "No."  


Alright of to the free dinner! I'm looking forward to it!

"Just a Tuesday."

"Just a Tuesday." 

It's been a nice day at work, I worked well. There wasn't much to do, but still we worked all hard. Although the nice day at work, I'm looking forward to tomorrow's day off. I'm exhausted and my muscles hurt, this afternoon I guess I worked a bit to hard. I needed to use all my strenght to get a few rubbers into roll-up brush mats. Usually we put brushes into the mats, but we aswell have mats with rubber. Brushes are easy to put in the mats, but rubber is hell to put in. We use a akward tool to put the ruber into those mats, a pizza cutter, lol. 

The picture isn't so clear, but I hope you get the idea. To put the rubber in the mat we use a special kinda glew and the pizza cutter, the sides of the rubber has a little opening and the sharp wheel of the pizza cutter fits perfectly in that opening. Then you push the rubber down into the mat, sounds easy but you have start rolling with the pizza cutter. You really need to use some strenght to get that rubber into that mat, I had it after fibe mats, The fifth mat was my last one anyway, I was done. Pffeeeww and ouch. I couldn't do this work a whole day, it's exhausted work. I will have to take it easy anyway if I wanna keep this job. Otherwise I will break up.

My Boss and the company wants me to work for three whole days, cause working half days just don't work there. We have machines that are constant in action, we produce alot of mats and brushes. The production is almost like a assembly line or how you call it. Every fellow worker has his or her duty, if one worker falls out the production stands kinda still. So, if I work a half day and I will leave at noon, the production stands still aswell. If I stay and work a whole day, it's good. Cause I will go home with every one else then.

Next week I will start with three whole days, this week it will be my last week that I worked for two whole days and one half day. My planning is to work Monday a whole day, Tuesday a whole day and Thursday a whole day. Would be nice cause I will have a nice long weekend then, but Monday a whole day plus Tuesday a whole day, that's two whole days right after each other, that's gonna be tough. But I will try it. If it doesn't work then I will change my schedule, I thought about working then Monday a whole day, Tuesday a day off, rest! Then Wednesday a whole day, Thursday a day off, rest! And last but not least Friday a whole day, then weekend, two day rest! I'm sure it will work out.

Remember that you are needed. There is at least one important work to be done that will not be done unless you do it.

Remember that you are needed. There is at least one important work to be done that will not be done unless you do it.

So, Thursday U will get to hear if the company where I work will hire me yes or no. Eeek! Oh yeah there is a little 'eeek' and a little worry, but that's normal I guess. The three months of testing are almost over, Thursday my counselor from Reha, me and my Boss wil lhave a  talk. A important talk! I will get a contract for a year if they hire me, and after that year I will prolly get another year, and another year. My thoughts about Thursday are good, actually it should be weird when they don't hire me. Cause I get nothing but compliments, I'm doing my work well without complains. Ofcource in the beginning there were a few little mistakes, but that's normal with a new job.

If the company hires me my counselor from Reha will still be following me on the background for half a year, and after that half year it's done. I will be standing on my own feet, on the background will be my new Boss then. Writing about this now makes me a little bit nerves for Thursday, lol so , I will keep it short. I like the work what I'm doing, I'm growing in this job and not only with the work I do. I have nice fellow workers, they come up to me for a little chat or they wave at me. That gives a comfy feeling, and makes me feel good. The good feeling I see back in my work, and I'm doing already a good job. In other words "I WANT THIS JOB!" I think there wont be many companies who hire people for only half days or just three whole days in the week. I'm really lucky that I'm working here and get the oppurtunity to work for this company.

Today work went fine aswell, gosh I still remember my first day at work there. I litterly had to be pushed to say, "Yes, okay, I will try this job." I had two counselors and my Boss pushing me and giving me good vibes, it was just fear, anxiousness, you know, new job, new people. I learned alot in the last months, and that's a nice feeling. So again, "I WANT  THIS JOB!" 

Fog! 


Dislike the weather the last few days, there's so much fog outside, I don't even know where this all come from. It's extremely, sure we have sometimes  a foggy day, but this? No. There was already a terrible axcident last weekend, just across the border from Holland to Germany. It's not even that far from here. Three people were killed and 35 injured in a massive pile-up collision on a fog-covered highway police said. The crash involved 52 vehicles on Friday night near the city of Muenster. That's scary when you think of it, it makes you realize that fog can be dangerous, more then you expect actually. And the fog will be staying for a couple a days, so said the weather forecast. Gotta be carefull!

Another day in the city...

"Pyama pants and three cups of tea."

"Pyama pants and three cups of tea." 

Sundays are best for resting and relaxing, I spent the whole day in my pyama pants. I felt better then yesterday. I searched further for things to do, it's not that easy though. But I'm sure good things will come ahead, I'm positive. Yesterday I told about the sketching and painting course, this course has twelve lessons and will cost me 175 Euro. I have to take care of the painting and sketching material myself, meaning I will have to buy the material. That's okay, for the same reason I will love it and will practize my sketching skills at home. The course will start next year in Frebruary, I'm sure I will be there.

While searching for 'things' I came up with things what I did in the past what I liked, I sure could pick those things up again. In the past I went for example to thyroid-patients meetings. Once a month I went there and it was fun. There was a crew who are thyroid patients by them selves, they gave advice or were a listlening ear to other thyroid patients who came to the meeting. It's been such a long time since I have been to such a meeting, I don't even know if the meetings are still going on, re-search will give a solution. And the sauna visits, that I did aswell alot, every weekend on a Sunday you could find me there. Usually I saw the same people, but that didn't matter, that made it more comfy. So, second on the list, the sauna!

I think there's lots to do, but I will have to search for it. If it's good then this comming week there will be a little magazine comming out from the cityhall here in this city. That magazine will be full of courses and other things to do, I'm looking forward to that magazine. And the good news is that 'social serveses'  (where I get a part of my monthly money from) will pay a extra 150 Euro if you follow a course from that magazine, woot! Nice! Every once a year social serveses gives people with a low budget a small extra sum of money, when they wanna follow a course or want to do some other activity what they can afford. Sounds good to me! See, there's enough to do. Meeting other people will do me good.

Sunday! Today I did a few things, cleaned all the floors, tumbled a litte laundry, and relaxed. I really took my time, took a long shower and had a few naps. That was it actually. Tomorrow I will be working a half day, and at 3 pm I will get two visiters. My counselor from Reha and my 'normal' counselor are comming, just to hear how it goes with work and we will be talking about how it will go further with my work. Aswell a little prepairing for my conversation this comming Thursday, with my Boss and my counselor from Reha. Then we will be talking aswell how it goes with me with work and prolly how 'we' are going further with work. Am I nervous? No, not at all. Looking forward to it!

"The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal."

"The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal."

I think the scars will be there always, sometimes I don't feel them and sometimes I do feel them. It's kinda akward though, when I'm feeling good and happy and  ask myself then, "Where is your lonely and sad feeling now," I can't answer it. Akward! It's been a okay day today with some ups and downs, being to long in a 'feeling down' moment is not good. It will get worser if I don't accept the 'down' moment. I will start to think then and the bad and sad thoughts will take over, I accepted the 'down' moment and I felt a bit better later this day.

This day started good, I did a bit of cleaning and folded some laundry. I wrote down what needed to be done, it wasn't that much. I still need to do some floor cleaning trough the house, but that can wait till Sunday. The last grocery I had to do today, I decided to go to two supermarkets. One supermarket had the bread cheaper then the other one, When I'm done with supermarket one I will bring the groceries towards home and then go to supermarket two, lol.  While I was on my way I decided to enjoy myself and take my time, the 'feeling down' moment slowly started. 

I kinda realized that I really need to find more people around me or more things to do in the weekend, like I said in my post from yesterday, I need more people around me, be with people, communicate, more things to do, etc, etc. Sure I like it aswell to be on my own so now and then, I need that so now and then aswell, but I don't want to make it a habbit. Otherwise I will fall into my old 'me,' the one I was before I went to Canada, and I don't want that. I find that a good and awesome thought. Before I did my grocery I went to a pharmacey aswell, I needed some shower articles. The pharmacey was in a busy crowded shopping street, it's always busy there, specially on Saturday.

While I was walking I saw kids walking with there dad's and I saw couples in love, 'that' made my 'down' moment stronger. I thought back at my time in Canada, I went many times with Saf shopping and we had mostly the two youngest kids with us. The 'missing that' feeling started, thinking back that I walked with Tasn many times and that I once commanded her to stay on the pavement, or that I had Ab on my arm again cause he was tired. I missed being a Father, The two youngest ones and me did so many things together. Or it was just me and Saf, we were out in town and had laughs and fun. I surely do want that back, being a jolly good time Husband or being a Father, having the responsibility over the kids, or both. 

After my groceries back home I felt a bit better, I did my shopping 'that' made my 'thoughts' change, I was getting distracted and accepted the 'down' moment. But I know that some kinda things has to change, I need to get out more, specially in the weekends. I will not haste it though, I don't want to pressure myself, cause that wont work. It's like, I WANT to get out more, and it's not like I MUST get out more. My counselor told me aswell that I should find more people around me, he told me that he would like to see that I did some work according to get some more people around me at his next visit. Well, I like that, and I found two things that I could do.... 

I found two cursusses and they will start in Frebruary next year, it's a start. There's one cursus where they will learn you how to sketch and paint, art and stuff, sounds good. The second cursus is about learning being yourself. They teach you how to be assertive and to stand up for yourself. Like I said it's just a start, I sure will search further with 'some things to do.' I'm feeling a bit better now, it was just one of the days I guess. Looking forward I see that I have work, and that I have three free dinners in the week, plus the trip to london is comming soon. I should not even feel loney. I'm on my way, I'm moving forward, there's more to come. 

Days like these or moments like these will always be there, sometimes short sometimes long, sometimes tough, and sometimes light. I will accept it.

Insert post tittle.

Insert post tittle.

It wasn't so cold today, I noticed that when I went to get some groceries. It's 8 degrees above zero and grey with a little flake of sunshine. Nice weather, and no 'horror' winter yet as the weatherforecast forspelled. But it's still can come, were still in November. Today my counselor dropped by as a suprise, I didn't expect he would drop by. He called me yesterday telling me that he will come this morning. Nothing important, just a little visit to see how it was going with me. We went trough some things what still had to be done. Yeah, I'm not there yet, lol.


I told him that I'm a bit worried about my money, this is my second week that I will take it (very) easy with my money. My counselor said that taking it easy with the money is quit okay, but the worrying need to stop. Easier said then done, lol. But it felt good that he gave me a few tips and that he told me to stop worry, there is no need to worry. One of the tips he gave me was that I should make a kind of a balance with my money, or how you call it. I should write down on a piece of paper what comes in and what goes out, or what I earn and what I have to pay. For example, on the left or right side of the paper  I write down all my earnings and incommings from every month, and next to that I write all what I have to pay every month. 


Now I can see what goes and what comes in, so I can make a sort of a balance. And then? Well, I still need to figure it out aswell though, lol, but so far? This is all I know. I think Sunday is a perfect day to brainstorm on this tip from my counselor. If it goes good I can figure out what I hold over in the month what I can use for myself, for example for grocery or clothing or just other nice stuff. It could be quit handy, I never used it though, I'm always carefull with my money. But what I have learned this year is that it's sure okay sometimes to be NOT that easy with my money, don't  overreact it. It's okay, I don't have to have 8, or 9.000 on my account for example, the important thing is that I get by with my money and that I can enjoy myself with it too.

I'm not gonna save it though either, I'm not gonna save for later. Tomorrow it can all be over, so, enjoy! Enjoy but do it gentle, lol. My counselor and I talked aswell about having 'contacts,' meaning that I have to go out and meet people, join a gym or a club, or whatever, be under the people. That was one of my goals too when I still lived at Humanitas. My goals were, finding a house, getting a proper job, travel, and see people, communicate. Perhaps finding new friends. Ofcource I have work and I see people there, but that's different. Ofcource I go out sometimes, to flea-markets or I'm having a day out but that too is different. Sure it's good too that I enjoy myself, but it's good for me aswell that I for example walk into a gym and ask them, "What is going on here? How can I join this gym?" 


That was just a example, it's difficult to explain this. Let's try again, lol, I would like to have something to do 'with' people. Let's say that I go for example on a Sunday to a cursus learning how to sing or cook or perhaps dance or whatever, just to be under the people, have fun and communicate, I might even make new friends. I sometimes still have that little fear to walk into a building, and ask for things. That fear was strong when I was a little kid, slowly when I got older it vanished. But still so now and then it comes back, depands of where I have to go ofcource. This year and aswell my years in Canada I had to go sometimes in buildings, there was no turning back, sometimes I really had too, that learned me how to copy with the fears I still had. 

Specially this year, I have seen so many community buildings from the inside, and I had to ask so many difficult questioins to 'important' people. That was a good lesson, I want to keep that up, the goal to meet other people and join a gym or a cursus will surely help me aswell with keeping away the fear that I had. I have changed and I like the way I changed, I would like to keep that. It's all good! I like my goals.Alright, tonight a fellow worker from work will visit me for a short while, he's the one who came at the same time with me working, he came aswell from Reha. His name is Jeffrey, he's a nice guy. He was always bored in the weekends, so I invited him. Nice!

Trust in what you love, continue to do it, and it will take you where you need to go.

Trust in what you love, continue to do it, and it will take you where you need to go. 

Another full day at work, I'm exhausted butI  feel satisfied aswell. I'm doing my job well, I had no complains (yet). Although I made a few mistakes, (that's normal) but I learn from them I guess. I'm doing my best and give a 100% and that's all I can do. Sure, I keep aswell in my head that after the three months of working that it can be over, thinking of 'that' makes me feel a bit concerned and gives me bad feelings aswell when I think to long about it. I had a short talk too about this with another fellow worker, he told me that 'that' sure can happen, but atleast you can say then that you managed the three months, they can't take that away from you. Sigh, well yeah. 

But I will be dissapointed, oh yeah, and my motavation to pick up work again, will be 0 % for a long while.  Maybe when I keep it in mind and prepair myself that it can be over after the three months, maybe the shock wont be that hard, yeah, maybe. Now I will hush! I'm doing well, never had complains, I get compliments from my Boss, so, hush! We will see what happens after the three months. If I get a contract I will celebrate it!! If I don't get hired then, oh well, then it just had to be that way then, right? I will have to keep that thought! This comming Monday I will have a talk with the Boss and my counselor from Reha, the talk will be about how it's going so far with me. I'm looking forward to it. I want this job!!

Today's work went good aswell, like I said. I Worked hard and it felt good, I like to work without less asking the Boss what there is to do, or what I need to do. I see it as bothering the Boss. But sometimes you HAVE to ask the Boss, otherwise it can happen that you make mistakes, I learned that, lol. Tomorrow my counselor Sahayo will drop by, he emailed me today. That's a suprise's me though cause he will come next week aswell, he told me he wont show up every week anymore like he use to do. Cause it's going well with me, there is not much to do anymore. Everythng goes fine, all the important stuff is going fine. We will see why he wants to drop by, eeek? Naah, Maybe he just likes my coffee, he misses it, lol!

Looking back with good memories!

Looking back with good memories! 

I think I have a little confession to make today, or? This morning I suddenly felt  the urge to read a little piece of a blog, Saf's blog. I don't know why,  I just felt the urge. I just wanted to look or read back when Saf and I first met, just bringing back memories. It's okay though, her blog isn't private, she can and is reading my blog aswell. Akward? naah. So, I have been reading a few posts, and it felt good, I had no 'cry or bad feelings.' I don't know why I bring this all up, and write about it. Maybe I just want to share after reading some posts that I changed alot from feeling sad and confussed back in January  till feeling much better now. Or maybe I want to share that even though Saf and I broke up, that we sure aswell had a good time, it's been quit a few years, I tell you. 

Spending a long afternoon with Mar, what a adventurous girl this is, bless her!

Reading back the period from March 2009 till November 2010, bring back loads of memories and lots of thoughts aswell. Thoughts like, "Oh yeah, I remember that," or, "Oh that was a disaster!" I must say Saf is a good writer, she says it like it is and she's so good with words. Saf is not standing still it seems, she's always on the go, there's no stopping. One of the reason I fell in love with her was that I wanted to take care of her and her kids after I red and heared from her her life story. How did I know it would be so tough, I keep saying that 'we' talked and thought about it along time that we should meet back in March 2009. But I guess 'then' love had no boundaries. We (just) went for it.  

Ab loved my bike, we both spended many times on it. Child seats rules!

Saf had a rough time behind her and I sort off had aswell, I sure was in need for some companion, oh yeah. I guess we were both looking for companions. In need for a crying shoulder perhaps, looking for love, a arm around ourselves, someone beside you. Can we say we were easy targets for each other? We fell in love, but, didn't we go to fast? I must say, in a few things we did, yes. But the break up happened, we both tried many times. I'm not gonna bother myself now with saying things like, "I had to do it this or that way, maybe then...," no! I had a good time, and looking back at that time does me good, not to long looking back though, otherwise I might get those 'January thoughts' again.It's all good. 


Do I still have feelings for Saf? No. Uhm, I love her yes but not in 'that' way,  if you know what I mean. Just as I still love her kids, If something would happen to them, I would feel concerned and worried. Even though we don't have much contact, I hope we still can be friends even though the distance. I would like that, and so far it seems okay. I really hope there doing good, Saf and the kids! I know they been trough alot and I'm pleased and blessed that I was a part of Saf's Family.I hope one day that they can find the rest and peace, specially Saf. And me? I'm here now in Holland and it feels good, I'm proud of what I have achieved, and THAT feels good too. 


Back to this day, Wednesday, could you believe I had my pyamapants on till 3:30pm? Yes, no lies! I totally rested out today, reading, Cityvilling, eating, napping, it felt good. It was cold this morning, no wonder cause it freezed 1 degree, there was ice in the garden and on the cars. Tonight it will freeze again, minus 3! I have been looking for some decent gloves but couldn't find them yet, I'm sure I will find them this comming weekend. Still I'm taking care of my money, saving up for my London trip. I must say, it's going well. I buy only the things I really need. Just a few grocery I bought this afternoon, it feels good saving some money.

"It's not always that easy."

"It's not always that easy."

Writing everyday a post.... When I started this blog I made my self a deal that I wanted to write everyday one post. But it ain't that easy sometimes. Sometimes I don't even have a a clue where or what to write about, just like now, lol! But that's okay, I have a deal with myself. Sometimes I just start with one line and then I continue further with writing, then I will see where it ends. I really like my blog, I didn't read it back once, but I will one day. I started with writing almost a year ago, and the following  year has been quit a year, I really had enough news to write about. Just so now and then there were those plain laidback days, where I just had nothing to write. Those are the times when it ain't easy to write a post, lol. 

Sometimes my English isn't so well, sometimes I even use Google translate or Wikipedia to translate my words. Their not always a help, lol. Then I'll have to come up with something and  figure out a word that 'might' sound the same as I had in mind. Or I hope the choosen word makes sense, lol, I know some words doesn't make sense, that's okay I guess. Back to this cold day, yeah it was pretty cold. Specialy in the morning, I was wearing a thicker hat and a thicker scarf. I could use some thicker gloves aswell. I have a day off tomorrow, I will have a look at gloves then. Though I'm still taking it easy with money, cause of the trip to London. Feels a bit akward though, I payed the trip already and it's all confirmed. But a week before leaving to London I will recieve a final confirming from the travel company. Eeek!!!


Work is going well, I started of with 3 half days a month ago, at the moment I'm on two whole days and one half day. My goal is to work 3 whole days. That's the plan of my Boss too, atleast that is what she told me. I keep my fingers crossed, cause I so want this job! I'm doing my best with work, and my fellow workers are happy with me, I'm doing my work good. I get compliments from my Boss. But still sometimes I don't feel satisfied about working 3 whole days, but it's all I can. I really hope and pray that at the end of my 3 months 'test' working my Boss wont say, "Hey were sorry, we can't hire you, thank you and goodbye." I know it's to early to say that, but still it sometimes flashes trough my mind. My working mate (who came aswell from Reha) works 5 whole days, he has more chance to get hired. 


Sssshhh Sjon, it's enough! Stop worrying, and do your best at work! I will, and I gotta stop thinking. Keeping my fingers crossed though.

Picture time!

Picture time! 

Not much new news to share on this day, I worked a half day and it went good. I feel that this job is a stayer, although it's a tough job and although I will have to be carefull with my energy, take my rest aswell, this job has future, and that feels good. Next Monday me and my Boss will have a talk together again, about how it's going with me at the moment with work and how were going further. I'm looking forward to the talk, I'm not even concerned. Good right?

Okay, pitcture time now! 

A nice tasty plate with vla (custard) with slices of kiwi, yeah I like to eat healty. So now and then, lol!

The garden-centre was early this year with the Christmas decorations. Looks nice.

In the same store, these lovely statues. they got tons of them in many sizes.

A Volkswagon Beetle van in Christmas decoration style!

The reason I came to the garden-centre, lol. A free cuppa coffee with warm apple-cake!

Today's breakfast, muesli with slices of plum.

Last Saturday I was on my way to my Dad, ofcource I took a few pictures. I noticed right away this colorfull tree.

A little park beside my house, love the colors!

Standing on a bridge while I was on my way to Dad I took this picture.

I had strong doubts with posting this picture, and still have. But I posted it, Mom's grave, it's been a while since I seen it, I must say it still looks tidy. I will add a few nice flowers this week.

Alright, time for cuppa coffee! Cheers!

Pyama pants and rest!

Pyama pants and rest!

I didn't feel so well today, felt tired and had a pressure on my chest. It was time to settle down and take lots of rest, and that's what I did. I took two wonderfull naps, hopefully I will sleep at night aswell. And I did what I normally do on Sundays, rest and relaxing. The wearther forecast talked about freezing this comming night, so, let's see if it's going to freeze. It is cold so, it might just happen.

I like days like this, just comfy clothes on and just do nothing but relax and rest. What I really like the last few months is playing Cityville on Facebook, I'm actually waiting while I'm writing this post to have enough energy to harvest my melons. Otherwise they will get wasted, I still need 7 or 8 energy more and then I'm good. With Cityville you have to build your own city, with houses, community building, shops, you name it. Everything what a city needs, it's fun and it kills time, lol.

Am I addicted? Naah, it's just fun. Facebook has a chat aswell, so you can talk and chat with your friends. I get akward feelings when I think about the chat, I should use that chat more often, or don't I? Or should I use it whenever I want? Ofcource silly! Well, other friends might think, 'He never chat with us, why is that?" So yeah, the Facebook chat, I never know what to say for a start, to shy, so sometimes I just delay the chats when I'm planning them. After delaying, comes  a next delay and another and another... Just nervous to make a start with chatting I guess.

So, there you have it my dear Facebook friends, It's not that I don't wanna chat or that I ignore you for a reason, I'm just shy, lol. BUT know this... I love you ALL! Now let me hop on over to Cityville to see if I have the 7 or 8 energy already to harvest my lemons. Early to bed aswell tonight, work is on the schedule for tomorrow. My Boss will be back aswell, she had a little Autumn vacation. I will have to ask her this comming week if I can have a few days off cause of my trip to London.

"A new day, a new dawn."

"A new day, a new dawn."

Although I did not plan it and althought it was far and pretty cold, I went to my Dad today. I took of in morning around 10:00, it was cold but I was dressed warm. I took my time and took here and there a few pictures, such a nice Autumn day, clear blue sky and lots of sunshine, but cold. I took my time but it is still pretty far to drive, it is about twelve kilometers, it takes me 45 minutes usually. When I arrived at my Dad´s place I was exhausted but glad I made it, Dad was happy to see me. I never saw such a big smile on his face. He was dressed nicely and the sun on his face made him look handsome. It is nice to see him like that, I like to see him happy. 

He smilled almost my whole visit, then I thought I should take a picture of him smilling. But when I snapped the picture the smile was gone for a few seconds, grrr! He seems to do that all the time, LOL!

 I had a good time being there, I enjoyed myself. Dad even made a few jokes about his age, next year he will become 75, pretty old for such a handsome guy. He was happy that I did well in my new house and that I have a job. Finnaly he joked, I´m happy for you. It was good to see him, I should visit him more often. So I have been thinking, I think once a month would be good, so I can get my rest between my working days aswell. Would be nice to visit my Dad just before I go to London for five days. It was time to go and hop on my cycle back to my own city. 

A small path that leads to the nearest forest near my Dad´s place.

On my way home I went to my Mom´s grave aswell, that was close to my Dads place. The grave looked tidy only a few nice flowers or plants would be nice. It has been such a long time I visited my Mom´s grave, this did me good aswell. Just standing there, saved a little prayer and telling my Mom I´m doing well. I´m sure she is proud of me aswell. I was double exhausted when I got back home, a long nap and a good lunch did me well. A nice Saturday, I´m glad I went to my Dad, I enjoyed myself. Resting is on my list for tomorrow!

Once upon a time in Almelo!

It gets colder by the week, but that doesn't stop my from cycling.

"Oh Father."

"Oh Father." 

There's got to be a easier way to visit my Dad, I keep delaying visiting him. I feel bad about it, I should just go and should not complain about my tiredness, or whatever reason. The reason why I come up with this is that when I think of my Dad I always think, "Go visit him more often, there will come a day when he won't be there anymore." Not a nice thought, I know, but it's the trough, Dad is getting older and older. When he will pass away I will prolly feel guilty that I don't visited him enough. 

Although his old age, I see he's in good hands where he is now. He gets 24 hours a day day care. He has people around him and he should be fine. Still my visits to him should be more often.

My Dad did alot for me, he was always there when I needed him. Dad had it hard when 'Mom' passed away, the wounds of the pain he had then you can see them back on him now. Dad is 77 but he looks almost 88, his walking goes very badly and he's quit difficult. Tomorrow or next Saturday I will visit him. Yeah, I'm delaying again when I go next Saturday, I know. But still I wanna see him, talk to him and see how he's doing. Tomorrow or next Saturday for sure!

Today was quit okay, I had a good sleep, and did a few things. The good sleep was needed, I fell almost asleep last night on the couch withmy laptop on my lap. And it was just 9:00 pm. I went to the company where I get my healt insurrance from, (Menzis) cause I could get back 20 Euro from my taxes on the healt insurance I red in the local newspaper. I had to go to a site and fill in there my ussurance number and my date of birth. But I got the message that my ussarance number didn't connect with my date of birth. Very weird cause I was 100% sure I filled it in right.

The lady who helped me didn't know what to do too, my ussurance number and my birth of date were 100% okay, she couldn't help me further. I had to inform the site where I get the 20 Euro back from, But I did that already a ten times. I will have to look for other options, cause I'm determain to get the 20 Euro. And it was cold today, oh yeah, I need some good gloves and one or two long johns more, lol! Warmth is good!

Money! ....Sigh!

Money! ....Sigh! 

Even though I putted a few items on a secondhand selling site and even though I sold something today, (I sold a hatstand for 8 Euro) I really gotta take it easy with my money. I wont be buying things anymore, only the food I need. Hardcore saving money, oh yeah. I really have too, cause otherwise I can forget my trip to London. No wonder they always told me that December is a expensive month, Christmas, gas bills, electric bills, etc, etc. I think I will be fine though, but still, there's nothing wrong in being prepaired, right?

Saving money too? Here's a few tips!

-Buy only those things that you can afford. Never borrow so.

-Buy only things on sale, but then only if you really need them.

- Always make a shopping list before you go shopping. Buy only what is on the note!

- Put out the light in the rooms were you aren't.

-Cook with gas instead of electricity.

-turn the heaters off in the rooms were you aren't, close aswell the doors and the curtains.

 -A dash of vinegar works great as a fabric softener, and also ensures that you have bright staying colors. 

- With many people in a room is also very energy efficient, everyone helps with his body to warm the room, or turn the heat down two degrees and put on a sweater!

-Open a savings account and deposit every dollar you can spare on it. After several years you have unwittingly saved a lot of money.

- Take always hotel soaps with you after a visit and aswell the toilet roll.

-Go to bed early.

-Do not go shopping when you're hungry, then you usually buy too much.

Ah! Just a bit concerned here, I gotta lessen the concerning. Everything will be fine. On with this Thursday... I worked a whole day and I learned alot of new things,m I made a mat! Woot! I went trough the whole procedure to make a mat completely. I was kinda nerves about the new things I had to do but I did fine and well. I worked with another guy who aswell  had to learn the new things. He was a bit slow though, but okay. He's younger and is still learning on college. I'm happy how this (long) day went, I was tired afterwards but really satisfied.

And Now? Now it's time for the weekend, I'm actually thinking of going to my Dad, cause it's been a while. I can tell him in person that I am doing good on living on myself again, a new house and a new job! Dad will be very happy that I have a job, oh dear, how many times did I went to him for a visit and he asked me if I had a job already! I lost count. Let's see when I will go to him for a visit, I hope the weather is good on me.